Anxieties

WARNING: Anxieties

I don’t know why I write anymore. I don’t know why, if I can’t save the world by doing it; I don’t want to save the world. I don’t want to be Greta Thunberg, bless the work she does, but I was taking a career quiz, and it recommended humanitarian. And all I could think was: this is just because I care about people. They never tell you, but caring about people is the worst thing you can enter a line of work for. You don’t want to die emotionally because someone died physically, you can’t do that to your health. You should never enter a line of work because you care. You’ll just end up wishing you were dead.

But that made me think, am I just too picky? Am I supposed to save the world, or am I supposed to just do my part by recycling? That’s another thing they don’t tell you: recycling is a myth. Big Plastic emphasized the wrong part of the cycle on purpose because it disturbed the market the least. They won’t tell you to reduce, to reuse, but recycle… They can market that.

They don’t tell you how necessary it is to market. Recycling is just another mass marketing, and I wonder if I didn’t grow up in 2006-Now would I care about half of this? Would I be happier? Am I looking at a generation who’s given up because everyone told them “You’re supposed to save the world” and when they tried nobody…cared? Give me my money back, I didn’t vote for him, I didn’t ask for this, I didn’t ask for that

YOU’RE UNGRATEFUL.

That’s it. I’m ungrateful. I wanted to be a screenwriter. A screenwriter.

Not everyone wants to be one of those guys, but I did. I’d love to be a screenwriter, if I’m honest. But I can’t say with certainty it’s even a career in the future. It’s no more valuable than a McDonald’s or an Arby’s and those jobs are fine, but you can’t live off of them, and I would like to live. It’s depressing to look at an industry I would love, a ten-year plan that I could easily visualize…if it was feasible. But I don’t want to be a doordasher, and I guess I don’t want to be a screenwriter.

And eventually you just start thinking, does it matter? The world’s burning, and here I am. Wishing I could be a screenwriter? I’m supposed to be Greta Thunberg, you’re supposed to be Greta Thunberg, we’re all supposed to be Greta Thunberg, and aren’t you tired of looking out that window? Waiting for something to change? But every change that happens is something you didn’t ask for?

What are we doing here? Waiting for something to change?

Are you sitting there waiting for someone to call you special? Are you waiting to be entertained?

Funny thing is, right after I got through three hundred words of this, Hank Green released a video talking about how stupid guilt over the environment is. And he’s got a point. Maybe I’m just some lucky art kid from Mississippi. Maybe all my anxieties would just wash away if I took some prozac. (Can I say that?)

Look, he’s right. We can’t just sit here bellyaching about how doomed we are and how the world is gonna explode, and how we’re all gonna die. But man. Twenty thousand years of this, seven more to go. (Or maybe technically four or three, because Bo sang that in 2021 and now it’s almost 2025. Have you thought about that? It’s almost 2025.) And I hope, like Hank Green says, I don’t have to worry about the next hundred years. Maybe I can worry about the next ten.

I don’t know.

Thinking of: Snow

Before I sit down and write, there’s one word on my mind: snow. 

            Beep! 

            “Chunks of snow and frost tumble down from the disturbed hillsides. They’re sloped like mountains and could just as well hatch one. Like an egg tooth bursting from the rounded peak of its shell. Egg teeth are probably white, like snow. So, there’s egg teeth and frost tumbling down from cracked nests that are convex instead of concave. Not a very good nest, mama bird. Unless you’re looking to have them soar. The hillsides, I mean. The mountains are dead with that. But the hillsides reach higher than dead mountains, likely because the dead mountains are dead. You think a hillside could fly as long as it kept breathing?” 

            Dr. Faraday opens her mouth to speak, but she’s quickly cut off by the beep of an input and an automated voice. 

            Beep! 

            “—Don’t answer that. These are my words, the thought of you speaking makes my mouth itch. Prickle. It’s not going away. It’s like a tickle with nails but soft like a buzz, like the feeling from a fly zipping across your ear minus the fly inside your mouth, and you don’t flinch so much as cringe, which could make frost and teeth fall off your shoulders, which would make your shoulders hillsides. I don’t want birds on my shoulders. Those are mine. These are mine. I’m gonna sprout mountains from my hillsides to punt them off. Choke on the teeth in the sky.” 

            “Shut off the audio both ways.” 

            Beep! 

            “The s-” 

            The laboratory goes silent as a collective, save for the shuffling of individuals subconsciously moving closer to one another. The shuffling brings them further away from their creation, and it would be laughable if not for the enormity of the subject. A human brain, lab grown, hooked up to walls of monitors and tubes, sits in a small, square, see-through containment unit upon a pedestal. It is labeled ‘The Terrarium,’ by a fancifully penned sticky note. Dr. Faraday wrote it, and placed it, herself. 

            Still, nobody speaks. Someone in the back brings up a transcript of the brain’s conversation onto a large monitor. It is read, clear as day, silently, by all present. All at once: 

            “That’s a bit aggressive, right?” 

            “It’s making up sensations for itself.” 

            “Absolutely none of that made sense.” 

            “That sure is some data.” 

            “We made that.” 

            “Interesting…” 

            “Oh, man.” 

When I finally take the time to look up from my mind, I see a hundred different words alongside the simple starting point of ‘snow.’ 

Boy, did we drift off from snow. But I don’t dislike it. It’s raw, and might not make sense, but it was freeing to write, and likely influenced by the absolutely freezing air conditioner in front of me. It’s probably laden with other little bits like that. Little bits of me. In any case, it sparks ideas, and it was fun, and I think everyone needs to have some fun with their writing. There are the agonizing bits of writing, the joyous bits of writing, and what you get when you start off with the word ‘snow,’ then get paragraphs leading up to an ethical dilemma. Maybe the next time I simply want to write, I’ll sit down with the word ‘brain,’ and see where I’m taken. 

 

Cartoons that turned me into the person I am

Alright, so I love talking people’s ears off about shows I watched as a young lass so why not write a thousand-page blog about it? That sounds very interesting, right? This blog wasn’t inspired by any one conversation but a tweet I once saw that said something along the lines of: “You can just tell when someone watched Steven Universe/Adventure Time.” So here came this idea. Also cartoons really did a lot to build my strong love of storytelling though I didn’t realize that was happening at the time looking back it is very obvious with a lot of things I watched.

Regular Show

Regular show followed two best friends, A Blue Jay named Mordecai and a Racoon named Rigby. They worked for their boss, a strict gumball machine named Benson in their town’s park. The both of them were notoriously lazy and not the best employees. They would get themselves into supernatural world ending predicaments usually due to them being lazy or immature. 

This show played a strong role in building my sense of humor. It’s quite juvenile but till this day I will giggle at aspects of this show and certain jokes no matter how ridiculous. I think the target age for the show is definitely teenagers.

Amazing World of Gumball 

 

Amazing World of Gumball, follows the adventures of a blue cat named Gumball. Regularly featuring his fish brother and best friend Darwin. The audience watches them tread the awkwardness middle school brings them. We witness them be big brothers to their know it all sister Anais. And sons to Nicole and Richard.

This was truly one of my favorite shows when I was little and as I have gotten older I have only begun to appreciate this show more. The mixed media and different animation style makes for no dull moments while watching this show. This made me develop interest in cartoons and how they tell stories. 

The way it was able to make connections to past moments in the show that one would have just glided past without knowing it’s important. For this show to bring those moments full circle has to be a staple of good television. 

Gravity Falls 

 

I believe Gravity Falls is one of the most widely loved cartoons among my generation. 

The show follows Mabel and Dipper, two tween twins visiting their Great Uncle for summer in Gravity Falls. A small town in the middle of nowhere known for it’s strange creatures and secretive history. Mabel and Dipper go on adventures, Dipper finds journals and becomes obsessed with unraveling the mystery that surrounds this town. 

I remember when the first episode of this show aired and from that point on I was hooked. The underlying story of this show is so strong, it’s hard to not want to follow it. This show really made me fall in love with animation. This show is the definition of “Kids deserve good television.” This shows influence can’t be ignored, almost a decade after it’s end it’s fanbase is still holding strong. The potential of the world Alex Hirsch created is undeniable. I am ecstatic that he is doing more with it. 

Fish Hooks 

These next two shows differ from the others on this list because while being adored by me, the larger audience were less than pleased with these shows resulting in both their cancellations much to my dismay. 

Fish Hooks is about these three teenage fish who are best friends. They live in tanks within a pet store. The show would often give us insights on different tanks and let us see how the other animals in the pet store were living. We watch these fish go through their adolescence and follow them through the wacky world of high school. 

This show also had aspects of mixed media which will always get my attention. I loved this show, I thought and still think it has a very creative concept. Though the storyline isn’t necessarily linear I don’t think it’s a bad thing. It’s easy to watch and doesn’t require a lot of intellectual thought. Its just fun. 

Fun Fact: Alex Hirsch also had a hand in helping make this show. 

Camp Lakebottom

 

Like Fish Hooks Camp Lakebottom wasn’t widely beloved. But you better believe I was tuned into every episode. 

The show was about two opposing summer camps, one that was highly funded and fancy and another that was low funded and littered with monsters two of which were counselors. 

Again another widely creative concept. I think the animation style was endearing. 

Sanjay and Craig 

Sanjay and Craig is just a show about a young boy who’s best friend is his pet snake who happens to be able to talk and they engage in whacky adventures together. 

I believe watching this show was my first instance of brain rot. Truly just something to turn your brain off and watch for hours on end without thinking. Now this wasn’t exactly highbrow television, even for kids but it was fun and silly. I believe this show played a big role in building certain parts or aspects of my sense of humor.  

Robot Chicken 

Now I want to start off by saying THIS SHOW WAS NOT FOR KIDS. And I truly had no business watching it. It was inappropriate for pretty much every reason you could think of. It truly played a large part in traumatizing me before the internet ever could. The show didn’t follow a plot it was more of a stop-motion animated show of a variety of skits. I think the stop motion-esque style made it all the more frightening. It was my fault for staying up so late and not immediately switching channels after Cartoon Network became Adult Swim. Well you live and you learn. 

If you ever needed an explanation as to why I am the way I am there you go. I hope it cleared a lot up for you all lol. I find this concept very interesting, I think I want to do another installment with youtubers.

 

Writing a novel with your friend. What could go wrong?

What’s up my beautiful lords and ladies and the stables folks in the back. Today’s blog is going to be something special. So, Me and Tiara, who didn’t want me to make this blog, are currently working on a big project right now and I wanted to share it with y’all.  

AKA:  I couldn’t think of anything to write and waited till the day before. 

So anyway! The thing that we are working on is a novel. Isn’t that exciting, it’s not for NaNoWriMo so don’t worry this is for just our own little fun. So, sit back and relax or whatever you do when you read these blogs and enjoy the ride. 

 

Welcome To Etherwind!!!  

    Long ago when the world was first created there were many different creatures that walked all over the land, many of them magical and others not. One day after a star fell out of the sky and on to a tree in the forest the power from this star caused a ripple that would in turn forever change life on Etherwind. From the tree a small being came out this creature had oak colored skin with pointy ears and when it touched the ground flowers and grass shot from the ground. The small beings looked around and when they noticed how damaged the tree looked from the impact of the star, they used their new power and brought the tree back but instead of the 40-foot oak tree it was before it became almost 100 feet tall. As the tree grew and grew the pointy eared creature noticed more beings coming out of the tree some looked like it, some with darker skin, and some with lighter skin.  

   On the other side of the world another miracle was happening. Dust from the fallen star sprinkles over an ocean and on the shore of a beach laid a creature who looked just like you and me. The being opened its eyes, which sparkled from the sun they walked around the beach the sand sticking to its feet and toes. When they got off the beach, they were met with the sight of vast land that stretched almost forever with pom trees and other plants and flowers. As thy looked around they missed as just as the small point eared creature more beings that looked like it came out of the sea, and they also took in their surroundings.  

   Lastly, on another side where the winds have a very cold bite many magical and nonmagical creatures, Werewolves, unicorns, foxes, bunnies, and others gather around a lake that was formed form the impact of the star’s fall. These animals gathered around the newly form lake and each took a sip. As each animal drank form the lake their bodies glowed, then one by one they were covered in a blinding yellow light. When the light cleared from all the animals, they could see that there weren’t really animals anymore. They now looked just like the other beings that came out of the ocean but there was something different about them. The creature who used to be a bunny could jump higher than normal. While then being that was once a phoenix has an unnatural heat coming of its body. 

 

After a while these beings bring new life to Etherwind as they learn how to live on the world. Even discovering each other. This doesn’t go over well at first but after hundreds and thousands of years they finally find peace with one another and live in harmony.  

 

Thank you for reading about this world that we created. I can’t wait to share more with y’all, but as of right now this is all we have. If you have any questions or comments don’t be afraid to leave them down below and I’ll answer as best, I can. Again, thanks for reading my blog today. 🙂 🤍🩵

What I took from Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “The Minister’s Black Veil.”

The Minister’s Black Veil provided a question that stood out to me. “How can we judge others for our sins if we can’t face our own?” 

In Nathaniel’s short story where he uses a minister to play on the condemnation of human conditions, I saw that he used the reactions of the townspeople to show how humanity gets uncomfortable when others’ faults reflect our insecurity. The people’s opinions contributed to the reality of society and that helped deepen my understanding. 

For context, I’ll give a brief summary of what the story is about. 

 The Minister’s Black Veil takes place in a small town where gossip travels quickly, and the people use each other’s imperfections to place themselves on a higher pedestal. Mr. Hooper is the presenting character, and he is also the town’s reverend. Which was pointed out to be quite remarkable as “Mr. Hooper, a gentlemanly person of about thirty, though still a bachelor…” which was intriguing in the eyes of the people.  

In the story Mr. Hooper goes to be the priest at a funeral, which he very first reveals his new identity with the veil. This is also where I first see some of the answers to the question I focused on earlier. 

At this funeral the narrator points out the opinions the people have about Mr.  Hooper as a reverend.  Some felt uncomfortable, for example one person said, “I can’t really feel as if good, Mr. Hooper’s face was behind that piece of crape.”  

Then there was a woman who expressed that Mr. Hooper making the choice of wearing the veil was inappropriate by saying “I don’t like it,” muttered an old woman, as she hobbled into the meetinghouse. “He has changed himself into something awful, only by hiding his face.”  There were more of these opinions, a lot of the people in the church saying that Mr. Hooper has basically gone crazy.  

To me, that statement was ironic in spite of the fact that the people were having these dramatic reactions because a man just decided to wear a veil.  But what if that’s it?  What if their reactions were normal? Maybe we would have all felt the same if we started seeing ghosts the day Mr.  Hooper walked in with a statement. 

During that funeral there were just comments of disdain and disappointment.  Everyone just speculated about Mr. Hooper, but none of them said anything to his face.  They didn’t ask him why he was wearing the veil. I believed it was because they couldn’t see his face.  From that whole scene there was a reflection of society in reality when things are questioned, and gossip is stirred. The townsfolk were like gossiping schoolgirls, they didn’t even attempt to ask about his intentions, since they couldn’t see his face, I think that meant he had no right to reflect on his own purpose with them. 

People’s faces and minds can be considered as veils. They hide our inner thoughts and our inner intentions.  For some, those could be things that could be distasteful to others.  But we also use our facial expressions to conceal our judgment.  I mean, there are people who can smile in the face of their enemy. “But can some people interpret a face?  You may ask.  And that answer is, “Well, of course!” And with that in mind, there’s some people who raise their eyebrows when people cry. When someone reflects your inner pain, you may find yourself uncomfortable too. 

There was a woman who said that she saw Mr. Hooper in hands with the spirit of a deceased girl at the wedding which came after the funeral.  It wasn’t true.  He most definitely wasn’t prancing around with a deceased girl.  That point in the plot though was showing what the people were judging him for.  And spoiler, it was just speculation! 

Mr. Hooper was just doing his sad preaching, but the woman started a rumor which spread.  And I guess by that point, they just had a collective delusion. That delusion was disguising their own faults, as long as they focused on Mr. Hooper’s.   

The day after that, people everywhere talked about the veil. Which to all the mothers, pastors, and children was more than just a piece of cloth hanging down his face, but instead a symbol from his heart that resembled a fearful secret between him and them.  

That secret, to me, has to deal with their own personal self – struggle and now it feels like their reverend is mourning their soul because their personal self-guilt is eating them up inside.   I know that just got dark, but I mean- 

Listen!  This is how bad this got! (Mr. Hooper and his self-reflecting veil.) 

In the middle of the short story Mr. Hooper went back to his home to his wife, Elizabeth.  After some commentary they basically have this discussion about the veil of course.  She told him that she thinks that if he must wear that mask then he shouldn’t wear it in public then she asked if she could see his face and he explain how it all started. 

He didn’t take it off, but he did hint that one of the reasons he was wearing a veil was because everyone wears a veil every day.  His veil was just visible.   

Elizabeth didn’t think that was a good enough reason, so with a sorrowful farewell. 
She left Mr. Hooper hidden under his dark veil. 

To sum up what happened after that, I’m going to provide this statement from the story, 

“In this manner Mr. Hooper spent a long life, irreproachable in outward act, yet shrouded in dismal suspicions; kind and loving, though unloved, and dimly feared; a man apart from men, shunned in their health and joy, but ever summoned to their aid in mortal anguish. As years wore on, shedding their snows above his sable veil, he acquired a name throughout the New England churches, and they called him Father Hooper. Nearly all his parishioners, who were of mature age when he was settled, had been borne away by many a funeral: He had one congregation in the church, and a more crowded one in the churchyard; and having wrought so late into the evening, and done his work so well, it was now good Father Hooper’s turn to rest” 

Mr. Hooper passed while still wearing that veil.   Before he died though, he gave a monologue with his final breaths that basically called out everyone who made him as if he’s a monster all because he wears his sins on his face.  But there will be a day when everyone has to take off their visage. 

So, yea, what I got from this short story is that basically judging others so we wouldn’t have to judge ourselves is a big thing in the world. It’s so bad we even make each other seem as if we’re monsters, but we are all monsters deep down. 

I read this story in ninth grade, and didn’t fully understand it at first. So, it was interesting getting this refresher after I just randomly thought about this while looking out the window one day. 

 

 

Beneath The Bridge of Aberdeen

Beneath The Bridge of Aberdeen

                                                           

The 90s was an incredible decade for music. Dozens of albums were made that will certainly outlast the test of time. Grace, Adrenaline, In Utero, The Color And The Shape, The Bends, OK Computer, Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness, Siamese Dream,  Either/Or, In The Aeroplane Over The Sea, and countless others. All these magnificent albums were made within the span of a few years, each one sure to outlast all of us through the course of time and musical history. The most amazing part about these albums is that even though they were made over two decades ago, generations from then and now can both relate to them. Newer generations are falling in love with music that their parents fell in love with.  It shows that bonding over music can’t be held to the laws of time. For instance, Nirvana is now a disbanded group after the tragic death of Kurt Cobain. Even now, decades after their last tour, they still have millions of monthly listeners from both newer and older generations. 

_______________________________________________


Nirvana quickly took the world by storm. With their debut album BLEACH, released in 1989. BLEACH is one of Nirvana’s lesser-known albums. It shows more of their hard-rock side. With more grungy and distorted songs.



Most people know Dave Grohl to be Nirvana’s drummer, however, this was not case for this album. Throughout Nirvana’s earlier years, they had a hard time keeping one drummer. Bob McFadden, their first drummer, only played for about a month. Then Aaron Burkhard, then their most regrettable, Chad Channing.

Kurt had said that Chad Channing had severe anger issues. He was hot-headed and just didn’t fit in with the other members.









Nevermind was recorded in 1991 with the help of Butch Vig as the producer.
Butch Vig has been a major help for famous artists like The Smashing Pumpkins and Sonic Youth. From interviews and articles, it is easy to tell he’s a master at his craft. Although Butch wasn’t the biggest fan of Kurt’s perfectionism, they appreciated each other’s hard work.

On September 24th, 1991, Nirvana released their sophomore album Nevermind. One of the most successful albums ever released. A severe lack of stock caused the album to be held in high demand. You would be lucky if you even found a copy months after its release. Everyone wanted it.

The Album held thirteen total tracks, one of which, was “Something In The Way” one of Nirvana’s slowest and softest songs. “Something In The Way” contains a quiet guitar, slow vocals, deep yet soft drums, and most surprising of all, a cello. The hit grunge band had shown that their talent far exceeded anyone’s expectations and proved they couldn’t be held to just one standard.

The lyrics behind this song talk about a boy, who lives beneath a bridge, traps animals, tames them, and makes them his pets. It talks about how he lives off the drippings from his ceiling and the grass that surrounds him. It also mentions that “It’s okay to eat fish, ‘cause they don’t have any feelings.” which could be assumed to mean that this boy might be against eating other kinds of animals.

Conflicting rumors have said that this song takes inspiration from Kurt Cobain’s personal life as
a young adult. He was kicked out of his house in 1983 for quitting high school two weeks before his graduation and wanting to pursue his passion for music. Contrary to what the rumors say, on multiple accounts, it’s been said that he often stayed with his friends, sleeping on their couches. It wasn’t until three years later, in 1986, that he got his first apartment.

During the recording of “Something In The Way” Kurt Cobain had been adamant about making this song perfect. Butch Vig said,

“‘Something In The Way’ was definitely the hardest track to record on Nevermind. After three or four takes on trying to cut it live in the main room, it just wasn’t happening. Kurt came into the control room out of frustration, sat on the couch and basically said it needed to sound like this. He laid on his back, he played his guitar, and he was barely singing. It was coming out at almost a whisper.”

He stopped Kurt, turned off all the fans in the room, put a microphone in front of him, and told him to just do what he had to do, and after three takes, they had the base of the song.  Kurt had wanted a cello’ in the song. However, it was the last day that they rented the studio. They began calling friends, asking if anyone could play the cello. Thankfully, one of their friends, Kirk Canning, who lived in LA at the time, was able to help them produce the last parts of the song. Contrary to how Butch felt, Kurt talked about how thankful he was for how easy the recording of “Something In The Way” had been. He compared it to Dominos, everything just fell into place.
Despite their personal beliefs and differences, they came together and created one of history’s most successful albums of all time. Forever to be remembered.

The Story and Meaning Behind Nirvana's Infamous Smiley Face Logo - American  Songwriter

Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart is a Really Good Show

I’m gonna throw myself off the Empire State Building.

You ever find a show that like fully encompasses your person, like who you are as a character and a belief system? Well, I haven’t yet, but I got pretty close with the Cartoon Network show, Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart.

Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart is a pseudo-action/anime/cartoon about the adventures of Mao Mao Mao, an aspiring “Hero” who has to protect the town of Pure Heart Valley. Because he crashed in to the Ruby Pure Heart, basically a magical force field for the kingdom that is now broken, monsters and villains threaten the kingdom on the daily as he fights alongside his “co-heroes” Adorabat and Badgerclops.

This show isn’t very complex at all—no more complex than season 1 Gravity falls! You don’t need a bible to understand it’s lore. But even if it’s not, it’s still surprising. I could talk on and on about what I want to follow in this show and all the things that impress me but man.

For one, the main characters are absolutely standout. You can tell they’re such strong reflections of real life, mixed with the absolute absurdity of just this world, like. There’s the Sweetie Pies which are basically glorified Muppets and then you have Badgerclops and Mao Mao, just sort of two normal guys?? And Adorabat’s an absolute freak of nature, it’s amazing. There’s compilations of her character where all she does is scream, she is genuinely unhinged in the most inhuman ways possible, and at the same time, she’s just a regular nine-year-old (but the show states that’s she’s five. So.)

We’ll get to Mao Mao and what I like about him, but I’ve edited this multiple times, I’m on my third, and I haven’t talked about Badgerclops once. It’s a little surprising if I’m honest. He’s a pretty swell character and perfect for a “straight man” archetype, but in the same way, he’s also undeniably batshit. Like if you don’t know what it is, I’d recommend looking into what a straight man in comedy is, but he’s so funny. Like if Mao Mao’s unfriendly, he’s an absolute asshole. It’s fantastic.

This show also blends comedy and sincerity in such a captivating way. Like bear with me here, but it’s reminiscent of LEGO Batman. Have you seen how that movie uses comedy? It fully engrosses you in the scene with just how bizarre and weird it is and then gutpunches you with lore. They play their cards right because it’s not in your face, it’s really sparingly used. But when this show does lore, it can get really beautiful. And with the animation to accompany it? Holy hell man. I can point to several scenes that absolutely make me lose my mind, but my chest would hurt to describe them. Shout out to Small.

And back onto the characters, I mentioned the Sweetie Pies, but there are some real of side characters here, some of the funniest I’ve seen on television. The Sky Pirates? Changed the game. I see them on screen, and I think, Oh Man, This is Gonna Be Good. Even if the episode isn’t that funny, they still shine 9/10 (even more than that, probably.) In fact, most of the unfunny episodes they Elevate. Pinky is a similar monster of just being a disgusting mess of a creature, who shouldn’t even get to call himself an animal, a really good use of absurd comedy.

This show has some kickass themes by the way, absolutely stellar storytelling.

There’s a big theme of identity in the show—who you are to other people, to who you want to be, and yourself as a whole. God, it’s so good! Mao Mao struggles a lot with the person he is and the person he wants to be. Who are you without these things, who do people think you are? Who do you want to be? Do you love themes of self-relationship which a character who needs to constantly relearn it? Well, they got it!

Another massive theme of the show is family: specifically between Mao Mao, his old family, and his new family. Mentoring and “fathering” overlap in stories like these, but Adorabat is fundamental to his character and his growth across the story. Mao Mao adopts a fatherly dynamic with Adorabat by like the second episode they know each other. Hilarious. (Shout out episode: “Adoradad” for unrelated reasons.)

And you can tell through his dynamic with her, he’s trying to be a good influence on her. The thing is, he’s not perfect at it. They want the same thing: to become a HERO. But being a “hero” as much as it is a storytelling device as it is a metaphor. Because what Mao Mao believed he needed to be a hero, isn’t the same as what applies to Adorabat. And that changes things. And Mao Mao is wrong about a lot of things.

How Mao Mao was raised affects him greatly—it’s pretty much hammered into you throughout the show. He’s crazy paranoid; chases glory, fame, and attention; and cannot admit failure or defeat no matter the obstacle in his path. He goes to therapy! Really! And he still turns out wrong 90% which I think is pretty good. A lot of the things he believes are wrong as much as they are right. But teaching Adorabat, he realizes he needs to challenge these things about himself and maybe what it means to be a hero altogether.

I can’t look you in the eyes and tell you this is some of the best on television because that’s subjective. But it’s funny, heartwarming, action-packed, and has a great story to tell. So if you’re looking for something to sit down with and have some fun with, I can’t recommend it enough.

 

Unfortunately, this show only got one season. And I’m forever going to be as bitter as probably a [joke redacted] but I’m glad it got a chance where it did.

And with even more unfortunate news, is not on any streaming services! Or network channels! The story is messy and convoluted as it always is, but you cannot find it on MAX or Netflix, and Amazon Prime does have it, but I don’t know if you want to pay $120 for 40 episodes of television but hey. So, I can’t recommend you to sail the seven seas, but I will emphasize to you that the only place you can watch this show makes you pay $2.99 per individual episode. 🦜🏴‍☠️

 

 

Oh my God, the entire show is a pun on the phrase, “My dad is my hero.” I’m gonna go get a drink.

Foods that are in my dorm (part two I think)

After having so many things to do the last couple of weeks. I have found that food, especially snacking is something that I have been doing a lot more of lately. Even while writing this there is a KIND bar wrapper sitting next to my keyboard. I think, at least from what I remember, I did a blog similar to this last year talking about my favorite dorm snacks, however now that I am a senior a lot has changed. The workload, the stress, and most of all, the food. So to begin this list I would say that I need to start off with something that does in fact remind me of last year. Whether or not I put it on last year’s list is something that I am not sure as well as something that I have decided I am not willing to figure out. But without further ado I think I am going to get going. Also a quick disclaimer that none of these foods are in any particular order.

 

First off I have to go with this Ramen. It is a veggie Udon Ramen and oh my god it is so good, there’s chives, mushrooms, carrots, etc in it and I just don’t know. It has a level of spice which is good but it also has a really good taste as well so I would ten out of ten recommend it for your dorm ramen. I know that the title veggie ramen can put some people off but I say give it a try.

Second has to be these fig bars, I know they give off like whole foods crunchy vibes but they really just go so hard for no reason. The most excitement that I have gotten out of the last couple of my grocery store trips is that I get a different flavor each week, they are all fig bars but they each have their own respective flavor and I think that it just adds another layer of things about these bars I like, the one I chose this week was strawberry which has been my least favorite however I still enjoy them nevertheless. The first time that I ever got them was when I was looking for food to bring with me to the Mcmullens Young Writers Workshop, and ever since I just can’t stop, I lub them.

For the third spot I’m going to have to go with these Arizona ice tea gummies. I had no idea that these existed until like June and I wish that I had found them sooner. What I like most about these gummies is that they aren’t super sweet. I mean they are sweet, but some of these gummy brands make me feel sick after I eat them because they are so sweet. What I enjoy about them as well is some of the unique flavors like mango and green tea. 

Next up is grapes, but when I say grapes they have to be the white ones. Or the green ones, I don’t know why they were called white grapes because I hate having to try to talk to people about them and explain “how much more I like the white ones.” If you get what I mean. But anyway I got off topic,one of my favorite aspects of these grapes is how refreshing they feel even after eating almost an entire bag. I find myself snacking on these for hours at a time, and I don’t even have to really feel bad about it because, you know, they’re grapes. I try to get these as much as I can because I really love fruit, but as of lately fruit has seemed to be getting really expensive so I have been trying more to get grapes because they are more affordable.

The next choice that I have is one that I just recently discovered. Even last year I have been trying to buy some form of vegetable just to eat on its own, most of the time that would turn into a bag of baby carrots, but those bags of carrots would do nothing but just sit in my fridge until they started to smell so I knew that I had to try something new. So, In decided to get one of those small veggie boards with some ranch, and do not ask me what the difference is because I could not tell you. But I feel like every time I am eating just a piece of cheese and some vegetables I am eating like Balkan breakfast and no I am not going to explain what that is but you should absolutely go watch one of those mukbangs because it is really interesting to watch. 



Words on Journaling

I open up to a blank page, document, note, and begin to write. My typing is faster than my mind and my mind is faster than my typing, but there are still words, and I’m still writing. My handwriting is messy and overly spaced, but so is my mind, and I’m still writing. Even if I may loathe the outcome, at the end of the day, it’s still writing. 

Journaling, though at times a battle to start, is entirely worthwhile. I am no expert at it, but if there is an expert at something as personal as journaling, I think I’d furrow my brow. The entire point of journaling is to write, well or not, about anything you want. A journal for you and you only, so you can really make it whatever you want. I use mine with no theme involved. The pages hold whatever is on my mind. Still, even with how free a journal is, I have found some advice and collected some experience that helps, because ironically the hardest part of writing a journal is the writing part. You can know it’s supposed to be messy and whatever you want, but it’s difficult to stay true to something so undefined. Freedom in messiness lets you discover more things about yourself, and that’s daunting, but immensely helpful. You can think more clearly once your thoughts are on the page instead of on the brain. 

One piece of advice I have found helpful is to write notes anywhere, everywhere, and on anything. Take that napkin from a restaurant and turn it into a notepad, then copy it down in your journal if you feel like it. You can also cut out bits from notepads, worksheets, sketchbook pages, etc., and glue them into your journal. Heck, stick entire sticky notes in there. It’s fun. The more chaotic your journal is, the easier it is to write chaotically in it. 

Telling yourself to write chaotically and messily can still leave you with the itchy feeling that you’re performing a task wrong. You become all too aware of every sentence you can reword, every punctuation mark you should put, the reading speed of your words. I find it helps to turn this into a more solid challenge. Challenge yourself to write with absolutely no punctuation, making the lack of punctuation undeniably the point, and only cast a glance at the last word you wrote if you must. Messiness goes from something you feel like you should be doing to something more fun with a mysterious outcome. 

Don’t confine your journal to only words. For me, my journal serves the purpose of writing every day, but I still draw in it. Journals are creative outlets where any urge you can fit on a page goes. You don’t even have to be good at drawing or writing if you think you aren’t. From the stone age to the day you’re reading this, humans from early ages have indulged in finger painting and writing and warbling tunes. It is human nature to create, and nobody has the right to say you must be good at it to do it. You, Picasso, and the people who drew on cavern walls are all united in the act of creation. That is good. Things can be good, messy, and upsetting. Go wild. 

Journaling, though at times a battle to start, is entirely worthwhile. I hope this helps you with your journaling joys and endeavors. There are still many ways to journal, and experimenting with different methods reveals different results for everyone. Even if these methods don’t spark a fire for you, keep messing around with all sorts of things. You’ll get there.  

Another Buffy vlog(FINALLY!)

I figured given the new word limit for blogs I ought to dive back into my routes, yapping endlessly about a TV show no one else has seen that ended over twenty years ago. Buffy The Vampire Slayer. 

I am shocked I haven’t written a blog about Willow Rosenberg yet. So guess what this blog is about. 

Willow Rosenberg played by Alyson Hannigan was introduced as Buffy’s goody two shoes best friend. Shy and socially awkward she had very few friends before Buffy, the only one truly being Xander. The comedic relief character for lack of a better word. Throughout the course of the show, Willow discovered her connection to witchcraft which she mixed with her existing knowledge of science. This brought her more out of her shell, and she started to gain a stronger personality away from simply being the nerdy friend. Willow’s first love interest aside from her brief stunt with Xander, was Oz, a short ginger werewolf. I believe he also helped draw out more of Willow’s personality and independence.

 

Skipping ahead to season four Willow and Oz had broken up, and she was entering college. This is where she meant her second love interest. Tara, the complete opposite of Oz earnestly mirroring an early Willow with a socially awkward and shy attitude. They quickly grew closer with the help of their shared status as witches. 

 

Willow’s relationship with Tara grew as it did with magic. After she brings back Buffy from the dead, which we later find out ripped her out of heaven. Her relationship with magic revealed itself in an unhealthy light. We start to see her dependence on it for the first time. Giles confronts her after finding out what she did and she is defiant in taking his warnings, a trait never seen before within Willow. Her dependency on magic quickly wedges a gap between her and Tara. Ultimately leading to the end of their relationship when she uses magic to manipulate Tara’s mind into forgetting an argument. 

Speaking of Willow’s relationship with magic it was evident to me that it was an allegory for substance abuse even before hearing the writer of the show confirm this. 

After their break up and almost losing her friendship with Buffy after nearly killing her little sister Dawn, Willow begins to try and get clean from magic. We follow her struggles with not using magic. Eventually she is able to completely stop using magic, being given a very minimal amount of scrutiny at one point but Tara is right there to back her up. 

They end up getting back together but soon after Tara gets shot and killed by Warren. Willow attempts to bring Tara back but is unable to because her death was inherently human and not by supernatural forces the same way Buffy’s was. This catapults Willow back into her magic addiction. Turning her into Dark Willow. She seeks revenge against Tara’s killers. Killing and skinning Warren, she attempts to kill the other two after not being able to and draining the magic from Giles. She sets out to end the world but is deterred by her friendship with Xander. Giles takes her away and helps her try and heal her relationship with magic. After this she doesn’t use magic for a while, except when her and Kennedy get together but it was her underlying guilt for moving on from Tara and killing Warren that caused her to subconsciously cast a spell that turned her into Warren. 

It was great to see Willow deal with that anger and guilt. Tara was a huge part of Willow’s story and it was great to see that she still meant something even after she was gone. As well as confronting Jonah and Andrew (the other men Willow tried to kill) with the role that they played, not letting them be blindly redeemed but seeing them show remorse. 

Seeing the actress for Warren mirror the Actress for Willow’s mannerisms was phenomenal to watch, as well as the way the camera was played with or the moments when they chose to switch out the actors. It was clearly a well thought out decision. 

This experience does scare Willow away from magic but this time she couldn’t run for long. Due to the circumstances her magic was needed to essentially save the world. 

The ending scene of Willow using magic perfectly contrasts the first appearance of Dark Willow. From  pitch black hair with soulless pupils to pristine white hair and her regular eyes. I love the incorporation of her eye color. It almost feels like a symbol of how the magic is not overtaking her, she’s still there behind it.  

Willow’s character ark was very interesting to me. Because to put a character so widely beloved through so much and shine her in a sort of antagonistic light is so interesting.