one last time

you would think that after two years of blogs i would find myself more prepared with all of these blogs, not waiting until the day that they are due to actually start writing them. but i guess it is a good thing, life getting in the way that is. when i look back on myself, walking into this room for the first time, it feels like he isn’t the same person who is now pressing on the keys of this keyboard, writing this final blog post, but i guess in a way i wasn’t expected to be that person, i guess in a way i’m never going to be the same person twice, the crazy part is i think i achieved what i wanted here, in a way where i think im ready to start achieving better things someplace else.

 

“hi, im cooper (he/him) i enjoy classical art, writing poetry, and cooking. My favorite authors are hanya yanigahara, dorian gray, and mary shelly. and my main goal is to one day be someone elses favorite author. i hope that through this blog others are able to peer into my inner mindset and understand me through my work.”

 

this was the bio that i gave myself when i first got here and learned that i had to write blogs once a week, which looking back after almost an entire year of only doing them once a month sounds like a crazy achievement. 

 

looking back on what i wrote about myself, a lot of it is true, i still love to cook, write poetry, and read. and i still love every author that i have on that list, but now i get to add names, names like donna tartt, charles bukowski, and stephen chbosky. i also get to say that i don’t think i need others to “peer into my mindset” or whatever i was saying to try to explain away the insecurity that i had with my own writing. but i think i have grown enough as a writer where i don’t think i need that anymore, if someone says they understand me because of my writing, great, but if they can’t, then maybe they weren’t supposed to.

 

i came to msa wanting to get published, win awards, create pieces that i loved, and i did that, and a lot more, and now that im sitting behind this screen for one of the last times, with a lot of blogs that im proud of and just as many ones im not, i know that i am not the same person as the guy who wrote that first blog about A24, i am now a person who knows that i will never be the same, but am i happy that i got to be that person for a bit, because if not i wouldn’t be who i am now

 

not the person who is able to create pieces that he is proud of, or the person to not be ashamed of who he has become, and certainly not the person who is about to move across the country.

it took a long time for me to realize what it was going to take for me to keep growing, it took a long time for me to realize that 821 miles and studying under the best writers in the country was what i needed, but i guess you never really do until it is staring back at you in the face.

 

so as i look back and begin my final paragraph on my final blog for my final year at the mississippi school of the arts, i’m happy to know that i’m not just another person pushing their fingers against the keys to fill space and get ready for the next person, im happy to know that i wasn’t just another person in this chair, and im happy to know that i don’t think ill ever stop growing, ever

later, 

cooper

 

 



FROG BLOG: FROG FOREVER

 

Frogbloginning (Frog-blog-beginning) 

 

And here we are again. It’s time… for the frog finale. The frog finale waits for no one, not even the past frog blog just a post before it. This is the final blog of senior year, and thus my final blog post at MSA. 

These two years have been everything in a heart and skull. There’s so much to leave, and leaving it dredges up blue tinted reminiscence. I don’t want to make my sendoff bittersweet. I’ll have all the time to taste that flavor at graduation, to sit with it on the car ride home. I want this goodbye to be frog. To be me. To be something I can be happy leaving! Which is frog. All of that is frog. Frogtastic, even. Obviously, there is no true escaping bittersweetness, but I can still make it me, and I can make it something I love. 

So, to you I say goodbye, but plant your feet just for frog! I want to start us off with a fun fact about general frog biology. I say general because nature knows that if there isn’t an exception now, there has been or will be. But our funky frogs sport no foveas (a small depression in our retinas where we have highest visual acuity). (source). They can spot tiny changes, but struggle with still scenery, so skittering bugs are easier for them to spot than a motionless rock. Everything stuck in stasis blurs into obscurity. This is all fine by frogs, however, because they’re sit and wait predators. It’s not like they’re going to track down their prey, and any prey is good prey anyways. Evolution just didn’t see a point in meddling with frog vision any further.  

Now, let us behold: the frogs!

Fowler’s Toad (Anaxyrus fowleri) 

(Source 1) (Source 2) 

This is a frog you’ve likely seen before if you live in the US. They’re pretty much the most common frog where I live in the south! Well, toad, but remember, for as long as I may repeat it: all toads are frogs, but not all frogs are toads. It makes me smile to include Fowler’s toads at long last, because for how often I’ve seen them, a majority of my life they never had a name. When I was younger, my Oma used to take me and my sibling out looking for them. And they’re Fowler’s toads! Not to be confused with the American toad (Anaxyrus americanus), which not only looks similar, but commonly hybridizes with the Fowler’s toad. (See this visual from the Virgina Herpetology Society!) Unhybridized Fowler’s toads can be made clear by their pure white bellies, which can sometimes sport one central spot at most. As for the name, which I was personally curious about, is from herpetologist Mary. H. Hinckley, who named it the Fowler’s toad in honor of naturalist Samuel P. Fowler. 

 

American Green Treefrog (Hyla cinerea, also called Dryophytes cinereus) 

(Source 1) (Source 2) (Source 3) 

I’ve actually only seen these guys a few times, but each time I have, it’s been a joy! Which is no surprise, coming from the frog person. I remember the first time I saw one as a kid, my first thought was that it must have escaped from somewhere, because Mississippi surely couldn’t have cool tropic-looking rainforest-maybe frogs. But then I realized I had just never seen them before, always having assumed Fowler’s toads were the default around here. The reason I saw Fowler’s toads more was probably because green treefrogs are aboreal! They like things from leaves to branches to the eaves of buildings. They also have calls for alarming other green tree frogs of danger, and they’re known to make their calls louder before rainfall. Also, despite the green in their title, they can change to shades of brown depending on temperature or stress levels. You might remember another frog species doing the same thing from previous blogs! It’s more common than you’d think! The green treefrogs I’ve seen have had sunny yellow dots along their backs as well.  

 

Southern Chorus Frog 

(Source 1) (Source 2) 

This part is for a frog I haven’t actually met at all! Their species is native to where I live, but alas, we are unacquainted. As froglets, they tend to stay near their birth pond, but with age they move outwards to pine forests, then back to shallows during breeding season. They like sand they can burrow into and limestone sinkholes, too! They spend most of dry season nestled nicely underground. Southern chorus frogs are called chorus frogs because of their distinctive call, which the North Carolina Wildlife Resources Commission describes as sounding like, “A mechanical, rasping trill, which some say resembles the sound of a ratchet-type wrench.” They sound pretty cool; you can look up videos online! The name itself is also just really neat sounding. Southern chorus frog. 

 

Frogblogending (Frog-blog-ending)  

 

And those are some frogs! I went with a bit of a theme this time, as you might have seen. Most of the frogs I put here are frogs we might not get the pleasure to see face to face; ones so outside our scope of reality that they’re easy to just absorb as nothing more than knowledge. So I wanted to do something closer to home for this final frog blog. This is a time that deserves a marker, after all. I think that there will still be Fowler’s toads at my college. If you ever want to learn more about these guys, there’s tons of sources online! Finding sources for these guys even pointed me to the websites of wildlife agencies for different states. AmphibiaWeb is fun to scrounge about on, too! 

To my blog, I think I should say goodbye. But goodbye sounds too final. I like the sound of “I’ll see you later,” more. So, I’ll see you later. Frog on! 

Things from my childhood that make me feel violently ill, aka nostalgic, in honor of entering adulthood

Hey you, you’re probably like me, and by that I mean about to graduate high school, eek, scary right? But in all seriousness, the closer the end of senior year approaches, the more I think about being a kid. And how this is a big deal for a lot of people, it’s like the first major checkpoint in life. And I’m living it, freaky.

So, in honor of all those weird feelings, I’d like to talk about an even ickier one, nostalgia. When I found it, people associate nostalgia with a positive emotion, I was befuddled, it’s always made me feel uneasy. I never kept any pictures of myself from middle school or anything, which I now regret. But I just thought looking into the past from the future was weird and unsettling. It felt more like mourning something to me, and it made me sad. That could be a product of society, burrowing the idea that women are only as valuable as they are young or something. I don’t know. 

That being said, as I get older, I feel less bad about nostalgia and more generally unsettled, but it has sometimes been pleasant. So in honor of that “growth,” I will be listening to things that make me feel nostalgic about my childhood. Its going to be in two sections: Little Kid, eeeh, and Middle School.

Little Kid: 

– Trailers 

A lot of my family members lived in trailers when I was little; trailer parks especially make me nostalgic. My granny on my dad’s side had the best Christmases in her old trailer. We used to play my cousin’s Wii U in her trailer and argue. And we all would wait for the bus in my auntie’s trailer. I think of them as a testament to a little goes a long way. A happy kid living in a trailer park can be as happy as any kid in a 3 story house. 

  • The Wii

Let me tell you something about Wii Sports: Bowling, I get down and I dominate. Hours of playing Just Dance with my older sisters, watching them play Super Mario, and only getting to replay the easy levels. Getting DESTROYED in Mario Kart. And almost passing out during the Michael Jackson Experience. Very fond memories of the Wii. 

 

-LeapFrog

 

My memories of actually playing games on this thing are pretty much none existent. But the way the buttons and the little pen on this thing feel is such a specific feeling that I can feel when I think about it. I used to just love to hold it I think. 

 

-Nabi 

 

Now this one, I remember these games vividly. Lots of Fruit Ninja, Angry Birds, Kung Fu Panda Kart Racing, and Riptide. I remember chewing ravenously on the little humps on the side as well. And we could watch Curious George on here too, so that was dope.  

 

-Silly little tablet’s name I couldn’t remember 

Much like the Leapfrog, I can’t really remember games on this one, upon googling examples, all I could remember was that stepping on them hurt a lot, and I might have had a Hello Kitty one. The movable camera was a blast, though I remember that.  

-Reading Eggs and/or Reading Eggs Jr.

I attended school in Brookhaven at Mamie Martin for first and second grade, and they would have us play these interactive educational games. There’s one other website whose name I can’t make myself remember. But what I remember most about reading eggs is the character customization. 

-This Clock

Mainly from I wanna say Head start to first grade we used these and they were my favorite ever. I loved working on times, finishing early and just twisting the hands around over and over again.

-Tire Swings

Me and my cousins would play on this a tire swing right outside one of there houses. I remember not really enjoying it cause I would have these shorts on and the tire was rough and hurt my legs. I was also scared there could be a snake or bugs in there. Pretty sure there was once. 

-Bug Juice

 

These things are God awful now, but when I was little, I used to throw these back like crazy. It was a staple for my father to pick me up one of these before dropping me off at home with my mom. 

 

-Kid’s Kingdom

The superior playground, I never had fun here. Except the one time I saw a lizard, got scared, ran, and lost my brand new shoe. I refused to go back for it, so my dad was mad. I remember finding out they closed it here and being devastated. 

I have begun to find things that I have now or in recent years that I know will be things to make me nostalgic in years to come.

Nostalgia is an uncomfortable emotion for me, so this was fun to write, and it even became fun discussing with other people my age. I would like to know what makes you nostalgic. I could literally talk about this for hours. 

 

 

Book Tok is the reason I sleep til’ noon the next day.

Since coming back from Spring Break, I have found myself staying up on my phone gasping and crying, being dramatic, and all of the above because of one thing. Books. 

I am losing sleep over Book Tok and Book Gram, and everything else that has me adding to a TBR list that hasn’t even started physically, barely even mentally.    

You guys listen, the reason I am about to ramble about this is because all of these books that are brought to my attention usually start with those reel quotes or questions.  Like, have you passed those reels on Instagram where it shows a book where the ending was like this song?  Or as writers I’m pretty sure we have all seen those one-line prompts.  You know, the ones that are like tell me the first line of your favorite book to try and convince me. Then there’s the ones that want you to talk about a character you’re creating, but when you finally have a chance to see how much you know about that character it all just comes up blank.  Everything I see about those books just leads to rabbit holes that give writers advice until I’m on the side when someone is hating on a book I actually loved for no reason. So now I am just going through author rage bait until it gets really chaotic. 

That’s not the point though.  The point is, through all of the book community I have come across some really neat quotes (first lines) or some books that I may actually want to read one day.  I also have come across some neat advice that could actually be beneficial.  And while there is a lot of good that comes with the book media, I have come across some funny interactions because of unpopular opinions that I’ve come across.  I am going to talk about a little of everything in between. 

QUOTES IN BOOKS THAT SOUND LIKE RIHANNA’S “STAY” AUDIO  

“Don’t let the cereal eat you.  It’s only a fucking box of cereal, but it will eat you alive if you let it.” – Girl in Pieces 

The cereal! Like dude, I wonder what the context was here. I mean, I haven’t read this book myself, but I have friends who have, so when this popped up on my book media, I was like, this line is genius.  I know the book itself is centered around teen mental health and self-harm, so for this to be one of the lines in there just lets me know that I can expect some mic drops and fire motifs. 

“but there are worse games to play.”  – Katniss Everdeen, Mockingjay 

I have read the book and watched all the movies, so this line hurt me.  I mean, it’s sad that this was true, today you could apply this to a lot of scenarios, and it could still be true, depending on the context.  In Mockingjay, I valued a lot of decisions that Katniss had to make, no matter what may have been hard, I don’t want to spoil it, but at the end of the movie franchise, I applauded what she did.  It made sense.  If you disagree, well let’s just agree to disagree.  She just wanted to put a final end to the carnage.  

“People say you don’t know what you had until it’s gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just never thought you’d lose it.” – Peeta Mellark 

Again, I know this story like the back of my hand. This line right here is sadly true, and people experience this type of pain every day. The context behind this just made me want to look at the sky as I floated away in the ocean. 

“The worst feeling is when you want to go home, but you are already there” – Our life 

 

Excuse me, I’m just going to go and stare at a wall now.  

What is this and why did I feel this way last Summer?  I don’t know if I have the willpower to read this book, but if I ever do, I’m going to have to sit in the dark next to a window that gives the view of rain outside while I smell the scent of cherries and chocolate chip cookies or something to go through the motions. 

BOOKS’ FIRST LINES THAT GIVE THE SAME VIBE AS THE ARCANE EXPLOSION

‘The last time I attended a funeral; I ended up with a broken arm.” — The Fine Print 

I started this series, it was good.  I haven’t completed the series, but if it’s as good as the first book, then maybe I shall.  That line is unexpected and catches the attention immediately.  It also gives the explosion vibes because I don’t know how I should take this, but it leads up well. 

“I wonder what kind of sound it would make if I were to smash this glass against the side of his head.” — November

See look, this line is intriguing, and it gives a great insight onto a small part of the narrators’ personality.  I would finish this book based on this line if it weren’t for one thing, Colleen Hoover wrote this.  And I do feel some type of way about Colleen Hoover.   What do you all think, would this line still make you read the book? 

“I have a heart for every year I’ve been alive” – To Kill a Kingdom 

I’ve been wanting to read more fantasy lately, but you know, it just piles up with the rest of the books, BUT I’ll get there eventually.  I heard that this book was gut-wrenching and almost like a movie in the best way possible.  And the title, I mean come on, that title DEVOURS!  Hooked immediately.  And I just wonder, are those the hearts that were collected from the enemies that tried to destroy them, or are they actual hearts in their body?  I need to know. 

COULD’VE DROPPED SOME ADVICE BUT IMMA GATE KEEP CAUSE THE WORDS STARTED WORDING TO WORD COUNT, SO HERE’S BOOKS THAT BOOKGRAM MADE ME ADD TO MY LONG TBR LIST 

 FIVE TOTAL STRANGERS 

It’s a Young Adult thriller by Natalie D. Richards.  The book is about five college students who get stranded at an airport during a snowstorm. They’re strangers to each other that all find out that they’re all headed in the same direction. So, what’s a better idea for them to get where they need to be, then ride 6 hours together in a rental car. The idea works at first, until the main character realizes that her travel buddies are hiding something dangerous.  Now she must uncover the truth before the trip turns deadly.  

I want to read this mystery.  Everyone says that even though it’s a thriller story, it kind of has a bunch of sad moments that give you a gut wrench.  My type of book. 

YOU CAN TRUST ME 

 First and foremost, the cover is so pretty, but after reading the synopsis it’s so misleading.  

When Alana’s best friend is found deceased in a pool, the cause results come back to be a date rape drug from a drink that was supposed to be for Alana. The boys that are suspected to be responsible aren’t held accountable in any form. Alana hates this so she decides to find out which of the boys did it before she becomes the next target. 

It’s supposed to attract the readers of Holly Jackson and Karen McManus, which is literally me, so of course I want to read it.  

I had more books, but I passed the word count, so until next time. 

 

Insert Je te laisserai des mots by Patrick Watson 

 

Life and Death Through The Eyes of Joe Black


I recently had the pleasure to watch a film that has been recommended to many a multitude of times. I only finished yesterday, however, I’m obsessed. The symbolism, the writing, the characters, and the plot. It’s all so perfect. The film I’m talking about is Meeting Joe Black.
I’m not the best at avoiding spoilers, so if you haven’t seen it, I advise that you stop now and watch it. This is a movie worth going into blind. I unfortunately had a small part spoiled by my roommate, and I think it took away a small aspect that would have made it all the better.
So, I’m warning you now, that I will be going over spoilers.

Meeting joe black is a movie about how death takes human form. From context and dialogue, we can tell that death has been very lonely. He said himself, that if we were to take our understanding of time, multiply millinea by infinity, and take it to the deepest depths, we would only see a glimpse of how long he has been around. Death wants to—for lack of a better word— take a tour of life. He wants to experience whimsy and wonder. After millenia (times infinity) he wants to explore the world the the body of a mortal.

To do this, he confronts a man who’s soon to depart from the world. Bill.
Bill is an extremely wealthy man soon to reach his 65th birthday. Death confronts him, telling Bill that he would extend his time on earth to however long Bill could keep him entertained. Death sticks by Bill for most parts of the movie, side by side. Bill introduces Death to his family. Not as death, but as Joe Black. No further information is given, and he keeps himself very secretive from the group. 

Death takes many likings to being a mortal, one specifically that I found the most humorous was how much Joe liked peanut butter. Throughout the three-hour movie, in random scenes, he’ll be eating a spoonful of peanut butter. I thought it played fairly similar to how Ryuk from Death Note liked apples. Anyways, Joe Black seems to take an interest in Bill’s daughter Susan. Susan is a Doctor, and that plays a very interesting part throughout the movie. 

When Joe wishes to see Susan, he goes to the Hospital where she works. There is SO MUCH symbolism in this scene. Joe is dressed in all black, while the doctors are in white. Death commonly being associated with black, and life with white. Joe stands dressed in a slim black suit, and white doctors push their way past him wearing white.  The irony of Death standing amidst people who save lives. I don’t know, I just thought that made such an interesting scene.

Joe goes on to fall in love with Susan, and Susan with him. There’s something almost poetic about how Death falls in love with a doctor. I think it shows a unique and interesting balance that 

Can only be found in very few movies.

Joe falls so deeply in love that he tells Bill he’s taking Susan with him when he leaves. Which I assumed meant to take her life with him. However, this contradicts the deal that Bill and Joe made with one another. If Bill willingly complies and works with Death, he wouldn’t harm his family. Death seems to have no morals in his word. He tells Bill it doesn’t matter, and he’ll take Susan regardless. I love this next part




Joe Black: I don’t care Bill. I love her.

William Parrish: How perfect for you – to take whatever you want because it pleases you. That’s not love.

Joe Black: Then what is it?

William Parrish: Some aimless infatuation which, for the moment, you feel like indulging – it’s missing everything that matters.

Joe Black: Which is what?

William Parrish: Trust, responsibility, taking the weight for your choices and feelings, and spending the rest of your life living up to them. And above all, not hurting the object of your love.

Joe Black: So that’s what love is according to William Parrish?

William Parrish: Multiply it by infinity, and take it to the depth of forever, and you will still have barely a glimpse of what I’m talking about.

Joe Black: Those were my words.



William Parrish: They’re mine now.

I love how Bill turns Joe’s own words against him. I had to have rewatched that scene nearly six times out of sheer appreciation.

In conclusion, this movie has made me take another look at Life and Death. This movie made death seem so much more beautiful than our books and movies tend to. I think anyone in their right mind should give this film a chance. And yes, it was rather lengthy, However, It didn’t take away from the experience, at least not for me. 

BUCKET LIST (SENIOR YEAR)

Things I’d want to do:

Finish that novel, then that novel, then the other one, then maybe a short story or two. Neither of them will be finished or ever touched, but its the thought that counts. You want to hear about Heffield, the socially anxious DEH parody? Or Joey, the rockstar turned orphan?

Learn coding. I want to create a video game someday (not one of those shooters, but I have the ambition in my mind,) but the process looks exhausting and would possibly kill me.

Practice Storyboarding. If I’m not gonna be a coder, I need to learn how to storyboard so I can pitch TV shows and stuff. And then I have to practice writing scripts and… Ugh. It’s a lot man.

Fill out a journal. If I write four lines every other day, and two years is twenty pages, and the journal has 160 pages, I’ll have to write for eight years straight?

Create a graphic novel. I don’t know, might be fun. But I’d be doing all the writing and someone else would do all the drawing, and it feels cruel for them to do all the hard stuff of sculpting the scenes the way I wrote them.

Take my friends out to a restaurant in my town. Of course, that means they would have to come to my town, and they’re several hours away. Difficult.

Go to another concert. Gotta gotta gotta dude, that was the craziest night of my life I am constantly checking the nearest venues for any bands I like playing its so frustrating

Go on a roadtrip with my friends. Wouldn’t that be awesome? Anywhere in the world, just us and the car and the arguing, the arguing doesn’t make much sense, but it’s so funny getting to be loud with my friends. 

Get a job, make money. Preferably a job I like and have an enjoyment toward. Also preferably lots of money (that part is less likely.)

Learn to drive. Here’s a secret: I’ve only been behind the wheel once. I made it 15 feet before I swapped myself out with my dad.

Restructure my life. I don’t have many months to do this, only till the year is over, but it would be nice to have like. stability.

Get back into reading. Something about school made reading harder to do than it has ever been, and I don’t like that. Books are awesome and I’m a writer so I kind of need books to like do my bare minimum, but every day it’s like ohhh I could be only my phone.

Figure out how to manage my anxiety. I have it pretty good at MSA. But here’s another secret: I have terrible anxiety. Can’t breathe most days when it comes to my lungs. We’re working on it.

Figure out how to have a social life without downloading the endless anger apps that want you dead. I don’t like instagram. There are people who I like that are on instagram. I would like to have my normal life functions back without downloading instagram and deleting instagram and downloading instagram I’m sure you see a pattern.

Figure out how to keep contact with the people I like before I graduate or accept this as my last time ever seeing them. I live on the bottom most part of Mississippi. Some of my friends do not. It’s honestly been nice, getting to see these people every day, even after school. I’d hate to say goodbye but if I have to (which I do)

Make my goodbye good. If I never see them in person again or only through newspaper clippings, something like that, I hope they have a good life.

changes.

hey everyone, when thinking about what i wanted to talk about this week, i found that no matter what i thought about, it all came back to me, and to me changing.  the biggest change i’ve been thinking about is college, changing where i spend my every day, who i see every day, and what i do in between the sun’s rising and setting. 

it’s not for certain yet, but it looks like im going to be going to the university of iowa. a place known as the university for writers but lately ive known if more for the fact that it is 12 hours away. 12 hours that seem to stretch and contort itself much farther than a plane ride or a days’ worth of bus and trains. stretching much farther from anything and everything that i have come to love. 

and i’m aware im kind of sounding whiney, i get to go to a school i think i’ll enjoy and hopefully ill make friends and a post like this will one day be nothing but an afterthought, but no matter how much i think i might enjoy it, sometimes i wish i could just skip it, go straght to the part of my life that i want to be in, back where im with the people i want to be in a place where i can be me, but what i’ve learned from that wanting is that it isn’t what i need.

if i want anyone to come out of this blog reading learning at least one thing, i would want it to be that if the time you spend unhappy, anxious, or making mistakes was skipped over, you’d erase yourself. and i think this might be one of the few times in which i think i have my past to thank for something. because i know at one time, whether it was me struggling through middle school or freshman year, i wished that i could just skip over all of highschool, now i sit writing this blog at the end of my final year with only one or two more blog posts happy that I didn’t skip a thing. 

the last time that i took the time to write out something that i felt when it came to this subject was actually the last poetry assignemnt, maybe it is cheap to add in a poem that i already turned in but i think it has a lot to do with everything going on at the moment-

 

(p.s.)

 

the morning i came to visit,



i took my shoes off at the door.

down next to plants that had long 

since grown out of their pots,

and weeds that had made 

themselves at home in the

cracks of the front porch

 

i dusted off the handle of

the old screen door

and let the sound of it

swinging open cascade and

echo throughout my eardrums



the morning i came to visit,



i walked into an empty room

that smelled of lavender perfume,

smothered by mildew 

and cigarette butts

 

the ghost of chandeliers hung in

the form of wires protruding

from the ceiling. the

contents of each room  

now either rest under white

sheets or are sprawled out

across the front lawn.



the morning i came to visit



i filled my bag with empty 

lipstick containers 

and picture frames,

and layed down on your

old mattress, battered and beat

i tried to hear your voice in the 

chirping of the birds outside

the window of what 

used to be your bedroom.

and i tried to smell your smell in the air,

i didn’t smell a thing, even if i 

told myself i did



the morning i came to visit



i knew you had gone out for a while

 

 

After writing this poem I realized that all I have been doing is staring at wounds that had healed a long time ago without me realizing, and I think that is part of the beauty of change, and what took me the longest to understand. Sometimes change is just different, nothing more and nothing less. I’m scared of things changing because they might not be as good as they are now, but when it comes down to it think I changed a long time ago, as well as a few seconds ago. It honestly makes me think about this one quote from Jake the Dog I love,

 

“The shapes are always changing. Changing is their normal state, like us. Even if we’re not changing on the outside, we’re changing on the inside constantly. There’s some stuff about me that I’d been ignoring for a long time. I’m afraid of that stuff. But its part of who I am. As long as I know the shape of my soul, I’ll be all right.”

Frog Blog: Fronds of Frogs!

Frogbloginning (Frog-blog-beginning) 

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Yet the frog blog still returns! I’ve been looking forward to writing one all senior year, but I haven’t actually gotten on it until now. I just can’t go into May without a frog blog. It’s mandatory to my heart. I love frogs. And information. And sharing information. Basically, I really wanted to do a frog blog before senior year gets out. 

I really do feel like there should be more to say here, though. I mean, graduation is approaching faster than I ever want it to be. We’re getting a class for personal projects. Senior showcases are looming. But I guess part of frog blogging joy is that we don’t have to discuss all that. We just need to discuss frogs! And boy, do I have some frogs to share. Course the hype through your veins. Away we frog! 

Grey Foam-Nest Tree Frog (Chiromantis xerampelina) 

(Source 1) (Source 2) 

I first found out about these frogs through a friend! They sent me a video of this species making a foam nest, and it was immediately insane. However normal they may look, they aren’t! They’re an arboreal species, meaning they live in trees. Though you could spot them visiting some water source to rehydrate, you probably wouldn’t see them swimming or even just sitting in a lake. To survive dry spells, their skin isn’t as permeable as other frogs, and they change color according to temperature! Dark to light are the colors they can go through. Darkening their color allows them to absorb more heat from the sun, while lightening their color allows them to reflect heat. There’re even more adaptations they have which you can check out if you click the sources. I just know what you’re mainly wondering about: their name. These frogs build nests of foam to hold their eggs! Female foam-nest frogs, which are bigger than the males, secrete a kind of mucus from their cloaca, which they churn into foam using their back legs. The foam will then harden a bit on the outer later, all in all protecting the eggs and keeping them moist. Female foam nesting frogs do this with a lot of males present to fertilize the eggs. They also build their nests above water sources, so once the eggs turn to tadpoles, they can eventually wriggle out of the foam and into the water below. Keeping the eggs out of the water until then increases the chances of survival. Developing into a tadpole only takes about six days for a grey foam-nest tree frog! 

Water-Holding Frog (Cyclorana platycephala) 

 

(Source 1) (Source 2) 

The water holding frog! Like the foam-nest frog, this frog is pretty much its name, too! They live in areas with dry periods, meaning they’re on their own when it comes to water a lot of the time. For frogs, that sounds pretty impossible, but its actually really interesting how species adapt to live without the things they need. Water-holding frogs go about this by aestivating and burrowing! Aestivation is basically hibernation but in the hot, dry season of summer instead of winter. During aestivation, deep inside their muddy burrows, water-holding frogs shed layers and layers of their skin, all the while secreting a watertight mucus. The shed and mucus lines their burrow, allowing them to maintain their water with more efficiency. And, while they survive off all the nutrition they stored while awake, they may eat their den lining if they need to. It doesn’t end here, either! All of this would constitute the name ‘water-holding’, but the name is from the fact they absorb up to half their body weight in water. They store all of that water in their bladder in skin pockets to survive aestivation. Even if it takes years, the water-holding frog can arise from its burrow again, froggy as always. On the surface, they feed, breed, then fill up on water again to hit the burrow.  

Fringed Leaf Frog (Cruziohyla craspedopus) 

(Source 1) (Source 2) 

Also called the fringed tree frog, and most definitely one of the most colorful guys to ever color. (Not really, but you know what I mean.) You’d think the hues they flaunt would mean danger- toxins, poisons-!- but you’d be wrong! Fringed leaf frogs are safe to handle. For you, at least. Don’t go picking up frogs willy-nilly. These frogs do, however, change color! They rapidly switch into brown hues during the night, then return to vibrancy in the day. They also hide their yellow underbellies when adhering to a surface for camouflage. As for where they live, it’s high up in the treetops. Their eggs can be found on ground level, as they only descend to breed! 

Red-Eyed Tree Frog (Agalychnis callidryas) 

(Source 1) (Source 2) 

And lastly, I thought it would be neat to close with a classic frog! The kind you see in cartoons and logos and whatnot. We all know the red-eyed tree frog, but what do we actually know about it? For starters, they’re nocturnal, like a lot of other frogs. They can also change their color to brownish or dark green! They lay eggs on the undersides of leaves (over a pond) or on the shores of ponds, then leave the eggs soon after. One of the biggest things to me was finding out the purpose of their eyes. Why red? It turns out the red is for a thing called startle coloration! Imagine one moment you’re about to eat a little green morsel, then suddenly it looks up with gigantic, burning red peepers. They’re meant to spook predators out of eating them. Pretty neat! 

Frogblogending (Frog-blog-ending) 

You’d be surprised how difficult it is to get a conclusive call on a frog’s scientific name. Research takes time, but it’s fun, and it only gets better with frogs. Don’t feel afraid to share your own frog facts in the comments below, if you so wish! Or just share what your favorite frog is, on the list or not. There’s so much out there! Until next time, frog blog out. The frogs are never ending! 

Starkid’s Hatchetfield Trilogy!!!! (again)

Part 2 of 2: Black Friday 

We left off with Uncle Wiley aka Wilbur Cross feeding into our main antagonist Linda Monroe’s want to be adored in order to have her help him bring along the birth of a god aka “Wiggly”. 

Immediate cut to the white house where we find out that Hatchetfield isn’t the only place dealing with this extreme shopper mania. Its all over America at this point and even threatening other countries. The president is wracking his brain for an answer but the search is cut short when a doll is revealed in the white house and they all nearly turn on eachother before a the doll is shot by none other than General Macnamara from TGWDLM. He informs President Goodman that to defeat Wiggly they must step into the black. 

Another cut Becky and Tom are in an empty movie theatre while Becky nurses Toms stab wound. The two begin to share about their lives since high school, Tom expresses guilt for Jane’s death, stating that if Jane were driving the accident wouldn’t have ever happened and that he killed his family. Becky then begins to share her story, meeting Stanely and the beginning of his violent behavior dating back to high school. It is then we find out Stanley never left Becky. Becky found out about Jane’s death and wanted to attend the funeral much to Stanley dismay. But she fought back, he chased her into the woods where she stabbed him in his femoral artery, a blood vessel she only knew about because Stanley encouraged her to be a nurse. After both revelations the two share a song and a passionate kiss. 

Cut back to Macnamara and Goodman, here we learn that there’s another dimension referred to as the black and white, this dimension is led by Wiggly as he is also the dolls and Wilbur Cross(Uncle Wiley) was a man who pledged his loyalty to Wiggly and disappeared not long after and that his goal is to have a birth canal built so he can enter their dimension. 

We cut toy Sherman Young pledging his loyalty to Wiggly to the other residents at the mall, goons bring in Frank and Lex who are bound. After that it is then they introduce their “mother” Linda. Linda slits Frank’s throat after he fails to tell her where to find a Wiggly. She heads over to Lex who denies knowing anything about a Wiggly before a mall cop turned crazed cult follower reveals security tapes from earlier announcing that Lex gave the doll to a little girl with pigtails and a baseball cap, Hannah. Linda sends goons after Hannah as others drag Lex away who’s pleading with them to not hurt her. 

Cut to Hannah, hiding away frightened it is then a spirit who resembles Ethan steps forward and tries to lead Hannah astray, telling her to give the doll to Linda. Wiggly then speaks to Hannah himself but his magic seems to not affect her at all. The come Tom and Becky also turned crazed by Wiggly’s magic they chase Hannah down, Becky wielding a large needle. When they catch her Becky goes to jab her but ends up getting herself instead knocking her unconscious on top of Hannah, who can’t move her while Tom grabs the doll and flees. The crazed shoppers find Hannah and an unconscious Becky and bring them to Linda.   

Cut to Goodman who’s in the black and white being coached by John. After a failed attempt at reasoning with Wilbur and Wiggly John sacrifices himself to allow President Goodman to leave the black and white. 

In the Toy Store Sherman is holding Lex hostage with the same box cutter used to kill Frank to her neck. She gets him to untie her with a promise of mispaint pony toys. She then knees him in the groin once she’s free, this doesn’t work too as in no time Sherman is back on top of her with his hands around her neck. It is then she sees General Macnamara, he informs her that Hannah isn’t only one connected to the black and white. He encourages her to reach in as he holds out his gun, she is able to reach in and take the gun shooting Sherman and saving her own life. Lex then finds Tom who is just about to leave, she manages to break through Wiggly’s trance and reason with him. It is then he realizes that Tim never even asked for the stupid doll he just wanted to spend time with him. 

Meanwhile, Hannah and an unconscious Becky are being taunted by Linda. Her smile quickly dissipates when she sees that Hannah doesn’t have a doll. Right before Linda has the chance to hurt Hannah in her rage Lex walks in holding the doll. Tom comes from another entrance and holds Linda at gunpoint. She seems to be defeated until Lex holds a lighter up to Wiggly and somehow Linda is able to get away and get her hands back on Wiggly. But she doesn’t celebrate for long before Becky appears holding a gun and shoots Linda in the dead center of her forehead, killing her on the spot. 

Lex sets fire to Wiggly leaving him, the shoppers, and the mall to all go up in flames. 

Becky, Lex, Tom, and Hannah watch the mall burn when Paul and Emma come up to him, relieved he is alive and informing him they are just about to leave but Tim refuses to go anywhere without him. When questioned where to go Emma informs them of her cooky reclusive biology professor.

The final song of the musical poses a question ‘What if tomorrow comes” Our final surviving characters including a few characters from TGWDLM circle around and Tom begins a 15-second countdown at one they all look into the sky and the screens fades to black. 

This video has 3.9 million views on YouTube and raised hundreds of thousands of dollars on Kickstarter in order to get created.

I have to be honest I favor this one over TGWDLM. The amount of world-building present within this musical, the lore that revealed the interpersonal relationships we learn about is unmatched compared to the Jazzy rendezvous TGWDLM was, though I also love that one there really is no competition here.

I definitely recommend checking both out.

DND Campaign 2025

Sup guys so this is pretty last minute I decided to scrap my other idea and do this instead. Many of you might not know this or you might know this, but I am a huge nerd. From anime, fanfiction, and writing. I don’t want to hear anything we all know that out every discipline in this school maybe beside the visuals, because they are a whole different breed. Literaries are the nerdiest of the Nerds. Whether you agree or disagree that’s up to you but that not what this blog is about. 

A few weeks back before spring break my sister asked me if I wanted to play DND with her and I was like sure. I haven’t really played since last year when I first started playing. We started talking and trying to find a way where we could get more people. Since most folks in my town don’t play or even know what DND is. I also told her that I would like to be the DM because while playing last year with the group I was in I realized that I can’t be a player. I don’t like not have control of characters whether my own or others. Not being able to move my little puppets around like I want to.  It just doesn’t scratch this itch that I had while playing As a character.  

So, there’s the backstory to this blog now on to the meat. So, as I’m still new to DND I’m having trouble writing the story for the campaign. Like it’s not that I’m having trouble coming up with ideas it just I don’t really know how I’m supposed to execute it. Like I kinda know how I want the story to go and all the meaty parts but I’m not sure how to do all the techy parts of DND if anyone knows what I mean. 

Now I know I’ve done a lot of “talking” about this but let me just give a small bit of the world I’m setting up for this campaign.  Some of y’all might recognize this world from a previous blog but that’s mainly because I’m unoriginal and like stealing from myself and being too lazy to come up with another world: 

Etherwind is where this story takes place. It takes place during a very peaceful time or so the people think for some reasons in the areas that split up many of the territory’s accidents involving crashed carriages and or wagons. At first it was mainly just commoners that were getting attack but soon some nobles were also being attack. The rulers of the four territories came together to figure out who could be doing this and how, but they could never catch the person or people who were harming everyone on the continent. One day they get world that another Eleven noble family was attacked and unlike before this family was really close to the ex-King. This enraged the Ex-King and after making sure that the child of the deceased elven noble was safe, he sent word to every territory to capture any and everyone who knows the underground the black markets and all that jazz. Of course, will pay what’s needed. All he hopes that whoever is hired will bring him the head of the monster who killed his brother in arms. 

 

So that’s basically all I have so far and as you can see it’s not that much but I really hope that in time it’ll become something better so I can start this campaign with my sister and whoever else I can drag into with us. So, thanks for reading other one of my spirals into madness as I try and take on projects that I know I’ll probably never have time for. 

See y’all next time!  

                                       -XOXO Crislance