ramble – Literary Arts Blogspace

In Summary: A Retrospective of My Time at MSA

For my final blog, I wanted to give a semi-autobiographical look into my life these past few years, and how I got to where I am now. I hope that you will find some similarities through my experiences, as well as inspiration from my journey. I also want to take a minute to thank each and every one of you reading this, literary students or not. You have supported my art and my journey, and I can never repay you for that gift. Thank you and please enjoy.

From Pre-K 3 to 10th grade, I attended St. Andrews Episcopal School. I grew up at that school, around those people, and I learned so much. I am eternally grateful that my parents cared enough about my education that they sent me to such an expensive school. Even with financial aid, St. Andrews still costs an arm and a leg. Their education is top tier and easily worth every penny spent. My academic journey was supported every step of the way and St. Andrews is where I found my love of learning. I fell in love with English and writing through the curriculum there. I took Latin classes for multiple years, which further supported my interest in non-modern pieces of literature. I was supported by the teachers, who appreciated my commitment to my classwork. The only thing I lacked at that school was community.

I had friends at my old school, some of which I still talk to today, but I felt out of place for the longest time. It wasn’t till my last year at St. Andrews that it truly felt like a home. I felt like I had to hide so much of myself just to fit into the status quo and the standards set up by everyone else there. I felt like a complete outsider for years, and I struggled to maintain a social life. My grades were perfect but my mental health was not. I knew I needed an environment that supported my creativity just as much as it did my academics. Then, like the universe could hear my thoughts, I was sent a letter.

I don’t remember exactly when I got my letter about MSA, but I remember that it immediately piqued my interest. I had never heard of MSA before, even in my years of researching art school. Funnily enough, I had plans in eighth grade to apply to an art school in New Orleans, though I never went through with it. But in tenth grade, I got a letter in the mail and that was my sign to try again. I completed the entire application process by myself, only once requiring my mom’s assistance. I remember going to get my letters of recommendation from my teachers at St. Andrews. My advisor (he had been my history teacher in ninth grade as well) was saddened by the idea of me leaving but was excited to see where I would go in my artistic journey. My counselor was similarly supportive and talked to me about how she had heard good things about MSA and was excited for me to apply. My creative writing teacher was the only one who put up a fight.

Dr. Smith was my creative writing teacher in tenth grade. Creative writing had been the artistic elective I had chosen that year. In my freshmen year, it hadn’t been an option and I had doubled in Journalism and Graphic Design instead. My sophomore year was Dr. Smith’s first year of teaching creative writing in quite a long time. He was an AP English teacher and had taught creative writing at colleges in the past. He was the best teacher I’ve ever had. He supported my writing, encouraged my work, and never held back on feedback. He taught me so much and I am eternally grateful for him. When I told him I planned to switch schools, he wasn’t pleased. He was honest and told me that he didn’t want to see me go. He had hoped that I would’ve stayed in his creative writing class for my junior and senior years, and that I would’ve applied to his AP English course as well. He understood my desire to surround myself with creatives and seek out a more supportive environment, but he still wanted me to stay. I nearly broke down, telling him about how I loved his class but, for my mental health, I needed a new environment. He understood.

Audition day was nerve wracking, but I still had so much fun. I have so many pictures with my parents from my first time on campus. I met so many wonderful people and immediately felt welcomed. When I was accepted to MSA, I was ecstatic. I had applied to both literary and theater, as I am just as much of an actor as I am a writer, but I chose literary. I am so grateful that I did. While I would’ve been just as happy as a theater student, the MSA literary department has supported my artistic journey as an author in ways I cannot even begin to thank them for. I’ve gotten so many opportunities thanks to Dr. Alexis and all of her support. I’ve gotten amazing feedback from my peers and have met so many talented authors in both my junior and senior years. I have grown as an author as well as a person.

My time at MSA has truly been more than I could’ve ever asked for. I’ve made some life long friends at this school, met some insanely talented people, and learned so much about myself. I never would’ve become the person I am now without the support of this school and the community. Even when things were hard, I had friends from MSA to keep me sane. I am eternally grateful to this school. I am excited to graduate nonetheless. It will be sad to say goodbye to my juniors, as well as my senior friends who are going out of state for college, but I’m prepared for that sadness. This isn’t goodbye, this is see you soon!

Talking about writing instead of doing it

My struggles in writing that aren’t real problems but I want to talk about them anyways.

For reasons unknown, I barely wrote for an entire year, almost two entire years. My pieces I used to apply to MSA were the first things I had written in that whole time, all pieced together over the span of two-ish months. I actually have in a notebook, somewhere floating around my dorm right now, that had the single thing I wrote worth anything in that entire time.

Writing is pretty sentimental to me, and especially that piece and the subject its on—but I wont share what it is, due to how personal it is. It’s sort of the type of thing that I did love, then, and held very dear to me because it is literally the ONLY thing I could write for that entire portion of my life, even if I don’t care much for it now, or agree with it, or even resonate with it. I realized im a lot more personal than I previously thought, and I do overshare and infodump but its never really about the most deep, personal stuff to me and blah blah blah. I don’t like talking about stuff currently going on in my life, just stuff I did or that did happen in a somewhat comedic lense that cant currently effect me, and I really try to keep my personal thoughts and feelings out of things.

Really bad at explaining that, so I’m just going to jump into my point: I don’t write about my personal life.

Of all of my favorite, most memorable pieces, they were about something or someone else. My Polar Bear Haibun, Rose Oil, Metaphorical, 11:11, Tributaries, Constellations. They’re all great, and I love all of those stories and poems and whatever else so much, but they don’t really like reflect any of my inner beliefs. I think about so much, all the time, and none of it ever makes it into my work. Why is that?

A part of me is embarrassed. Like I’m scared of being wrong, like whatever I say could be taken the wrong way if I don’t over explain, but over explaining takes thought and impact away from other people. I think that’s why I love realism so much. You don’t ever look at someone scratching their nose and think they must think they have something on their face and they’re hiding it. You don’t think about it at all. You don’t think, are they embarrassed? Do they think they have food around their mouth and they’re hiding it?

You don’t ever think if someone’s worried that they’re accidentally flirting by twirling their hair, or if they look overly anxious by bouncing their leg, but these are always things people think about in themselves. You recognize it. It’s a way to hide. Or, maybe, forgetting to brush your teeth because you’re in a rush so you never stand to close to someone, or you’re worried if you missed a spot when brushing your hair and if you look a little crazy. If you’re like me, maybe your septum is crooked. Fix it. Oh, maybe your classes are lopsided. Are they too high? You get to say things, do things, that people never ever want or think of talking about. I think that’s because it’s so normal to you, but do you ever think about other people doing it? If you are, you’re incredibly vain, and probably judgmental. I know I’m judgmental.

But, in relation to that, I get too embarrassed to write about my personal life. I know that, realistically, there are probably entire communities full of people who think exactly how I do, or look at the world the same, or think about the same hyper-realistic things in art like I do, but who ever tells someone im terrified I have something in my teeth so I’ve been trying to look at my reflection in this one-sided glass window but the shade it too brown and I cant see and now im trying not to cry because that’s somehow worse.

It’s easier to keep my thoughts to myself than it is to share them, but at the same time I know that I’m not putting my best work out, because I’m not being genuine. But, I also feel like if I were to get extremely personal in my work, especially if that work was for literary, I would have to explain everything behind it and how it makes me feel and I DON’T do how things make me feel. I’d feel like I was venting in explaining why I wrote something, even if the memory is really happy or whatever. I also feel like if my short stories were any more personal then I’d end up, like, going 1000 and 2000 words over the limit instead of my usual 300-400 (sorry Dr Alexis). Or something.

This is danny’s (poor) attempt at discussing his issues with writing, and yes, before anyone says it or thinks it, I know that writing doesn’t HAVE to be personal. I just would like mine to be more so, I guess, even if I don’t exactly know how to do that. Dats all. I feel like I haven’t even said anything omg.

My book, because i wanna talk about it.

This weeks blog is about something a little different, though it’s in the same vein as basically everything I’ve ever talked about. Passion projects, or, specifically, MY passion projects. I realized I don’t really talk about myself on my blogs, or I don’t think I do (?) and I’d like to share, like, the biggest thing in my life.

Since I was 12, I’ve been writing a story about a teenager who can see ghosts, and delivered the prophecy about their own death, which will reinstate order for the world. Kind of like trading one valuable human life for the greater good. I’ve had huge plans for this story for years, and it comes with characters you all are familiar with if you read my short story, Constellations, back at the beginning of the year! This story has probably been the single most important thing to me since its conception, and there has been an occasional stray from it, but I always go back. I love this story so much.

It explores messages of grief, specifically grief within people who are terminally ill, found family, and the concept of fatalism and discussions of free-will in a world where everything is “predestined”. The story even includes its own pantheon, entirely made up by me! I write a lot about grief, choices, sins, ect., and during the “heart of the story” assignment I realized that my struggle to find a message for my story was pointless. I already knew it!

Basically, I’ll be talking about my pantheon today, and the ways in which it is corrupt. The reason I’m doing this is because I’ve been reworking the entire thing, since I realized it wasn’t an entirely expansive, fleshed out, or realistic pantheon based on the fundamentals of religion and the world I wanted them to live in. Talking about it will help me understand it better, and I can’t exactly express over 43 gods who have been scrapped in a poem instead.

We have a few laws on how the gods themselves work , and these are examples that have kept me on track since I was 12, so they’re pretty easy to understand I think. The laws of succession, contradictions/opposites, connectivity, and dispersal. The easiest to understand is the law of opposites, but I do have to explain some smaller bit for that one to make sense.

You can’t have a god of fast food, or cellphones. There is not a technology god, entirely because I don’t feel like making that some sort of plot point and, if I include it, it will be. Gods don’t get so specific, or small in concept. We have gods of War, Violence, Conflict, and we have gods of sculpture and bigger concepts like that. Generally, once concepts get so small they’ve already been dispersed between demigods or godlings.

You also can’t have a god of two things, unless the other thing they’re the god of is the flip opposite of their other thing. Law of opposites! Like, for example, the god of health and injury is the same dude (in a gender neutral way), and just has two faces. The gods of truth and lies? Same dude. Death is also life. The god of order is also the god of chaos! Stuff like that. Then, with the law of opposites, sometimes it presents itself like the god of violence swearing to never hurt someone again, and being a pacifist—and eventually becoming the god of pacificity. In a greater sense, the god of war also governs peace. The god of purity is disgusting (nod to how purity culture is disgusting and exploitive). Memory and amnesia are the same guy.

Which, of course, brings the next law: connectivity. This is my favorite, because I just eehhehe I love it. There is a god, Riah, who is over both memory and amnesia, aka forgetting, is the sibling to the god, Cas (name changing soon I swear) who is forgiveness! Like.. like… ehehe, forgive and forget. There were also some others, which I genuinely don’t care to remember, but siblings come in pairs. Twins are REALLY common among gods, like two of the most prominent gods in the art world are twins, and they’re visual and performance art.

Finally, to sum up all of those rules, we have the law of dispersal. Every pantheon has some “start” god, for example Chaos (Khaos) for the greeks. This is that, and my version of that is Idyll. Kind of the big guy for all of the gods. Idyll split into four different gods, ceasing to exist by choosing to exist in them, and then those gods split up to make more gods. Like mitosis. The law of dispersal is all basically mitosis. You have greater gods, like the Ancients who represent some sort of element, and then lesser gods. Lesser gods can disperse into huge concepts still, like Humanity and the Sciences (who are two separate dudes) who dispersed into separate subjects like art, then literature, then poetry. Eventually, though, the amount of idyll in a god’s soul is so little that they don’t exactly get domain over anything, or nothing big, and those guys are known as godlings. And, if anyone from any of these groups has a child with a human, that child would be a demigod. Demigods aren’t really “over” anything, but they have a more concentrated amount of power than godlings in a specific subject. Take my books protagonist, Halo, for example. His mom is the earth, so he can like earthbend and stuff (not really). There is a character, Sol, whom he gets in a fight with who is directly descended from gods and not human in any way, and he lowkey mops the floor with sol, because Sol is so far removed from Idyll.

There are also groups and concepts like “False” Gods, then theres the whole reason people hate demigods, theres zombies and vampires and like the cult and also bird people…. And the whole blessing system and the tattoos, but I don’t!!! care about explaining!!! Those!!! Maybe next week (year?)

(if anyone has any ideas on what to call the gods besides gods… hmu. I saw someone call the pieces of their pantheon Totems and thats so cool but stealing is wrong or wtv. I had a friend suggest Mantle, but that feels too clunky + and also military (scary). Send help. Love you. kiss Kiss. Bye.)

Favorite Characters and my problem with having them (JJK)

(Few vague spoilers for JJK)

I’m a really like anime. I’m not claiming to be the biggest anime fan ever, I’m definitely not (I vowed when I was like 12 to never ever watch attack on titan, I fully intend to never ever watch it), but I have seen like the main few shonen (Shonen defined as Anime geared towards younger male audiences, usually some kind of action or adventure anime) Animes and if not I plan on watching them. Am I the most versed? No. Yeah, that’s it. I’m not the most well versed.

BUT, in the shows I have seen, I find it weirdly hard to find a favorite character. Not that you HAVE to have one, not at all. I actually prefer not having one sometimes, or having multiple. This weirds some people out, especially when I say something like “Oh, I really like Mahito from JJK.” And they look at me like I’m going to burn their house down. Which, I get it. Don’t get me wrong. I DO hate Mahito and he got what was coming. He was also one my favorite characters. I liked his character, not ANY of his actions, nor did I root for the bad guys (Kenjaku, Geto is a different story). Do I instantly assume people who say Mahito is their favorite are actually insane and should be put on an island away from everyone else? Yes. JJK fans are crazy. I don’t trust them.

Anyways, I do find it particularly difficult to have a favorite character, especially in shows like Jujitsu Kaisen, because I love most if not all of the characters on screen. Something something good writing and fleshed out characters. Then I feel WORSE because I can tell that the characters are well written and well loves, and I STILL cant pick a favorite.

When it comes to JJK, I have a handful of characters that I may call my favorite on any given day. Previously, those characters included Mahito and Junpei… which feels really contradictory in retrospect. Super ironic. Still devastated. Still cry periodically… I digress. Now, if I were to be asked, my favorite character is in order (as of 2:48pm) Geto, Itadori, Fushiguro, Inumaki, Yuuta, and then like jogo or something. Do you know who these people are if you haven’t seen the show? No. You will have no clue. But lily will, and that’s all that matters a little bit.

I like each of them for different reasons, Geto as an all-rounder, I love EVERY aspect of his character, but Yuuji trumps him in the sense that I like Itadori’s characterization with compassion more. Fushiguro is an amazing representation of depression. Inumaki has the coolest technique ever.

That’s it. I’m running out of time, lol, so that’s my blog. I don’t know who my favorite character is.

Poseidon…. That freaky water dude

poseidon sculpture | Aongking Sculpture Poseidon sculpture So. Like, basically. Yeah, we’re jumping straight in btw. So, basically, it is very VERY important to understand the history of not only your religion but also other religions. You should actually know the history of anything you’re interested in. I’m not saying like exact dates, time stamps, comprehensive notes, ect. I’m talking being able to verbally give out a basic history of whatever it is you like as background, and to better understand it yourself. Please, never talk about something if you have no clue what you’re talking about. Thank you.

In relation to this, Poseidon. The water guy. The whole, like, king of the ocean and father of like cyclopses and stuff like that. He’s done a couple things. Had a very brief cameo in Epic: The Musical (if anyone mentions Epic in the comments i will actually throw chairs i do NOT wanna hear about epic the musical). Most people do, however, know Poseidon through the medusa myth. I genuinely think i’ve explained that myth at least three times already on blogs and how its wrong btw, so im not gonna expand on it.

What i’m getting at is, when people think Poseidon they thing A) That water dude, B) Percy Jackson’s dad, or C) Epic: The Musical (as of late). Poseidon is actually a LOT more than that, in a modern Lense and in a ancient one, too. This would come from understanding his history and roots, so we’re going to do that today!

Poseidon, whos name oddly (as far as we know) means actually nothing relating to the Sea, which he is the god of. His name most nearly, in current theories, can mean “husband,” “Earth Husband”, or “Earth Shaker” and any varieties of the name. This could come from his Mycenean roots, which that’s basically the guys right before the greek dark ages when everything changed, in which our dearly beloved Poseidon was actually the KING of the gods, rather than the throw-away brother who often had non-consensual encounters with women and was like kinda in the ocean or sum. It is believed that, somehow someway during those dark ages, Poseidon and Zeus did a whole personality swap.. which may be the reason that some greek heroes have very unclear family lines, because are they zeus’ or poseidon’s? like whats going on?

Basically, Poseidon used to be, like…. that guy. He was the king of the gods, and not only that, but he was the king of the skies, seas, and underworld as well! This leaves entities like Hades and Zeus, one of which ive talked about before, without the whole things they’re known for (Which, if i knew anything about that, i would definitely make blogs on them). It’s actually pretty hard to research them, since the greeks were only really writing stuff down AFTER the dark ages anyways… but whatever. Poseidon used to be the king of the gods, still mostly relating to the sea, earth quakes, and… horses? Whats a guy like him, like the sea, doing being the god of horses????

He had a baby with his sister and it was a horse.

That’s it, That’s the myth. He had a baby with demeter and it was a horse. The fastest horse ever, or something, and it ate gold and other precious metals. Technically, the horse has a twin sister, who is NOT a horse. Sister of Persephone. Oh, persephone’s brother is also a horse. btw. yeah. Arion. His name is Arion. Kind of how Loki turned into a horse and got pregnant by a horse and had a horse². Actually, the myth is pretty similar.

While demeter was looking for her daughter, Persephone, after Hades had abducted her, she managed to travel great distances looking for her. She went to helios, some random son of zeus (so… technically Persephone’s half-brother/cousin) whom she fell in love with, a few places regarding giants and titans and whatever… along the way, Poseidon had begun persuing her. To evade his advances, he changed into a horse…. then he changed into a horse. This was okay to her, but not normal Poseidon, and, well.. when a mommy horse and a daddy horse love each other very much, they end up popping out two other horses- nope. One human girl and a horse. That horse, Arion, is the fastest horse to ever horse. and also, like, sometimes can walk on wind (not in a pegasus way) and may or may not be the father of all horses.

Yeah. That is, as far as I know, the ONLY reason Poseidon is considered the god of horses, aside from the fact he also like… invented horses. It’s kind of confusing and useless, if you consider ancient greece instead of mycenean greece, where horses and water were like the best thing before sliced bread. Still, that aspect of him carried over yearrrsssss and some of his most prominent children in myth, demigods by all means, just…. happen to really like horses. I think that was the founder of thebes’ whole thing. Just a demigod of poseidon’s who liked horses but also did like every cool thing ever. Hate that guy, by the way, and WAY too many people like him recently for him to have been, like….. one of the earliest myths and arguably most boring. But, i digress.

As for him being the earthshaker, aside from it being what his name (probably) means… he has, like, four kids with earth-related dieties. One of them being with GAIA herself. like. dude. weirdo. Other than that, they just geld the general belief that he was so powerful (or something) that he could shake the very earth. It’s fun, he’s fun, and i love him.

(Someone… someone give me gods to talk about next week. I like doing this. I’ll do (Almost) anyone.)

End Of Year Burnout

Yes, the word that everyone goes through every painful year, “burnout,” means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Like, for one person, they may look at math on a board and see a bunch of hieroglyphics; for someone else, when they stare at a screen, all they may see is static. For me, my mind would be blank, like no creativity going in or out. I’m surprised that I can even write this blog. With all the factors of college submission, scholarship requests, math, and figuring out how to tell the aunt who says I sound like a little white girl she’s not coming to my graduation, can you really blame me for being burnt out?

This is normal because our brains can’t function like a super-powered engine 24/7. Everyone sometimes needs time at a repair shop to get this. Well, what type of car am I? I want to say I’ll be a truck, maybe with a forest green coat, but I know for dang sure I’m not a Cybertruck. I’m much more classy than that.

Okay, that’s enough trying to discuss what type of car I am. The reason I’m writing this post is to help you become your own mechanic for that maybe not-so-sharp brain of yours. I’m going to tell you some ways I repair my brain. While some of these ways are pricey, it’s worth it to keep a stable brain or whatever you all want.

Vacation

Ok, we all knew I was going to say “vacation.” I mean, come on, when does a person not feel refreshed and ready to face the world after a vacation? A break away from all the annoying critters, a break from all the assignments, and a break from people telling you what to do, and you get to see new things to restart that creative brain.

Shopping

Now I’m not trying to tell you to develop bad habits with shopping, but whenever I buy something, it’s like a weight off my shoulders, and I just love it. And I mean shopping for clothes, food, or books; I prefer books.

Walk.

This is probably one of the freest things you can do anymore. Plus, you can go on a nice walk anywhere. Well, ok, let’s not say everywhere, say most places. Imagine the wind blowing through your hair and the relaxation you get from it. It’s so relaxing and mood-improving.

Swimming

Now I’m pretty sure most towns have a public swimming pool. Go there and just float in the water, and if you can’t swim, drown. I know not the best thing to do, but hey, imagine how it’s going to feel after that (I’m not actually telling you to drown). Let the water caress your body; trust me, it’s a good feeling for 1 or 2 hours. After that, it will feel like concrete, but it still feels good.

Family time

Ah, the good old saying: you never have fun unless it’s with your family. I personally have never had that saying said to me. I made it up just now, but you don’t have any proof of that, so I win. But “family” is a general term; it could also mean friends, cousins, pets, or strangers you meet in dark alleyways. I’m not picky. Spending time with it will help you clear your head and get you ready to face your challenges head on.

Well, I hope you all enjoy my advice, and I’ll see you all next time. If you all have any other suggestions, I’d be happy to take them.

(Ancient Greek) men suck. Here’s who doesn’t!

I don’t know if you guys know this about me but. I like Greek mythology. Surprise!! Shocking, right? No one knew this! Anyways, this is another Greek Mythology blog except it’s just going to be me bashing the same two guys over and over because they’re everyones favorites and then I’m going to tell you the ONLY correct answer for who your favorite (male) Greek god should be, out of the main 7~ ish.

Most of the time, when people hear “evil death guy, god of the underworld” they get scared. And, don’t let me lie to you, my dude Hades gets a bad name most of the time. He is actually NOT death, that is a separate entity known as Thanatos. Hades isn’t even the god of the dead. He’s the god of the underworld. Not just the bad parts but the ENTIRE underworld, including the Greek equivalent of heaven, Elysium. This makes Hades the god of not only the scary fire torture place, but the place where they feast and party and have fun for the rest of forever and literally everything good ever happens. He, in his roman form of Pluto, actually receives a lot more credit regarding this aspect of him because of how militarized the romans were. They didn’t want to fear death, not how the greeks did, so he morphed into a GOOD guy who… kinda also was super duper death or whatever. And also riches. Shouts out to Pluto, by far my favorite Roman God (somewhere near hygiea)

On the flip side of the same coin, hehe get it because riches, Hades is absolutely NOT a “good” guy by moral standards. It’s impossible to hold a god, if you believe they are real, or metaphorical beings, if you don’t, to OUR mortal standards. However, people do. People LOVE to bash on deities like Poseidon and Zeus for their actions, and then don’t extend the same ideas over to HADES. Who’s most known myth is HADES and PERSEPHONE. Like. THE myth Greek mythology was so popularized by.

(Hades, Persephone, and little tiny cerberus)

Y’know, the general myth in which Hades sees the beautiful Persephone in demeter’s garden, decides he wants her for a wife and opens up the ground to catch her, brings her down to the underworld refuses to let her leave. She gets super hungry, goes out and finds a pomegranate and eats like six seeds, leads to us and the changing of our seasons because something something deal with Zeus. Kind of the blueprint for most “Dark” (read: kidnapping) romance these days. Bad boy who really wants you but you cant have him because of some external force (usually the law).

Yeah, shut up. Hades Kidnapped and, LITERALLY, assaulted Persephone. In ALL tellings of the myth. He literally snatches my girl out of her garden. The OG myth was actually more focused on Demeter, and her journey in finding her daughter and how different seasons were divided into where, blah blah. But, no. It’s all about hades and Persephone. People like to call them some big metaphor for devotion and unconditional love, rebelling for what you want, but no one has been able to explain to me how they are a metaphor for that. Because they aren’t. Most tellings of the myth have Hades putting the pomegranate tree out there to entice Persephone because she was refusing to eat for him, because he was trying to trap her down there, and some have him plain deceiving her because she’s, get this, young and doesn’t know. People tend to villainize every other male deiety for the exact same thing, but somehow hades gets a pass?? Somehow?? Also somehow theres a telling of the myth ive heard in which he was DEVASTATED that Persephone ate the seeds and was now forced to be with him, as he wanted her to “choose” him. That telling was GREATLY popularized my Dark Romance today. That literally would not ever happen ever. Where are you guys getting your information.

I’m sick of the hades glazing. Theres a few other bad things here and there, though most of those were “but zeus told me to!!” and not of his own free will, so whatever. A god that is NOT bound by anothers free will but is still so deeply loved and adored by all is APOLLO.

(Apollo and Daphne)

Apollo is a JERK. He’s an INCEL. He’s TERRIBLE (not really ily apollo). Most of his myths, if not pertaining to prophecy in some way, is him screwing up so bad with the ladies (and men, on occasion) that they beg to be turned into trees, throw themselves off cliffs, turn themselves into plants (happens like 3 times) and genuinely so much more. The amount of minor myths that are just “apollo wants girl. Girl says no. Apollo then chases girl. Girl then finds some new insane way to die just to get away from him.” I actually cant believe I just called a god an incel im giggling. Apollo in most media is perceived as this “great happy sunny poetry and music” guy. He was initially the god of PLAGE. And DEATH. And TERROR. The music and poetry and all that other good stuff, like medicine, came WAY after his origins.

You know who you SHOULD like though? Who your favorite male god SHOULD be, if you want to hold ANY of them to mortal standards? Not Hades. Not apollo. Not Poseidon, or Hermes. DEFINITELY not zeus.

(My goat Ares bowing to his girlfriend Aphrodite)

Ares. ARES is one of the only gods who, as far as im aware, has NOT greatly wronged a woman. Googled it just now. He’s like an angel. Also, he is younger than Athena and not a technical biological child of Zeus (or something, probably a Romanized myth). Which makes sense, weirdly. Anyways. Just a few points on why Ares should be your favorite.

Is the father of the first amazonian queen and patron god of the amazon warriors
Had it out for Heracles for years after he killed said amazonian queen, and when a later amazonian queen died in battle (some time during the iliad im pretty sure) he came down and actually just. Killed an entire army. Love you Ares.
One of his daughters, alcippe, was bathing by a river when a son of Poseidon came and tried to assault her. Literally took that guy out on sight. No hesitation.
He, as far as im aware, has a VERY clean record of ONLY consensual relationships with EVERYONE.
In reference to the last point, Aphrodite is his most known lover, and in almost all tellings of it he is referred to as “Aphrodite’s Lover”, instead of the other way around, which absolutely flips Greek gender and intimacy roles.
The entire cult of Ares Gynaecothoenas
Actually never read this one, one of his daugthers died during childbirth and he saved her baby by allowing him to breastfeed from her, uh, body, which is kinda gross and dark but he didn’t want his daughter to die AND for it to be in vain
Yeah no EVERY relationship he’s had is consensual. Shouts out ares for the bare minimum among modern men, above and beyond for Greek men.

This is really long.. I’ve been cutting it up for like 10 minutes.. guys… I love ares… he isn’t even my favorite god… the god of medicine is. Oh, that guys really cool too. Sigh. Someone buy me a “I ❤️ Ares” t-shirt for my birthday. July 19th. I want it in the style of those “I ❤️ my girlfriend” t-shirts. ~~Ares is my girlfriend.~~

Snakes!!! My favorite Snakes!!!

A little fact about me is that I LOVE snakes. Probably more than I should. Probably more than anyone else ever (this is a lie), but I love love LOVE (mountain goats reference?) snakes so much. So much so that I fully plan on owning several in the future, as well as fully intend on getting a massive snake tattoo that I probably love more than I love like. Idk. Eating.

A common misconception about snakes is that they’re low maintenance pets. They are actually a COMPLETE and total opposite of it. While I don’t claim to be an expert on snakes, I do know that the reason I am not is because there are so many species!! With so many different, complex needs! Different species have different temperments, and sometimes even patterns can effect temperments on snakes!! As a start I’m going to talk about my three favorite breeds of snakes, why, and if I plan on getting them in the future… Then I’m going to talk about the best snake channel ever ever on youtube that you should TOTALLY watch if you like snakes too!!!

Ball Pythons

This!!! Is a ball python, named that because they roll up into little balls or whatever. They’re kind of THE snake, and also some of the most common pet snakes for people to have. They are medium snakes and come in all sorts of colors, known as morphs. They are constrictors, meaning that when they strike their prey successfully they’ll wrap around them and squeeze to either hold them in place or, y’know, squeeze them to death. They eat smaller prey (such as mice) and typically are very picky eaters. People suggest having set routines for them, such as removing them from their enclosures to feed them, so they know when exactly meal times are and don’t just not eat!

A few ball python morphs in order of appearance – Axanthic, Albino, Super Pastel (pastel on it’s own isn’t extremely visible), Banana, then Butter all as base morphs.

These are absolutely not all of the ball python morphs that exist, especially considering that none of these are designer morphs, but it’s a few of my (favorite) morphs because im tottalllyyyy not biased

Tangent: There is a gene in Ball Pythons known as the Spider Morph, which instead of effecting color effects the thick dark brown/brown bands you see on the ball pythons above!! It makes the bands very thin and offers some beautiful visuals, but however this morph is kind of like the “wobbly cat syndrome” for snakes. It tanks a snake’s cognitive (?) skills and makes them very uncoordinated, making it hard for them to eat and live. It is my FAVORITE morph for visuals, like 10/10 every time, but sadly it is not ethical to breed or distribute these snakes, as most owners do not know how to care for them. There is, as far as im aware, a man trying to breed the spider morph to be better for snakes as a whole, but he is not selling until he is sure he’s made a successful spider morph lineage.

Spider Morph Ball Pythons here

II. Bull Snakes

I actually do not know a lot about bull snakes. I will not lie. I’m actually having to google stuff for this one. Bull snakes are large snakes found in the Americas, typically north America. They can grow to be 6ft long, that’s taller than Lela btw. I actually discovered TODAY that bull snakes come in different colors. I seriously thought they came in like just the wild type and nothing else.

The main things I can say about bullsnakes is that they have dumb faces and they’re very VERY angry all the time. I would be too if I was a wild animal in America. They also have the loudest hisses of any snakes (in this size bracket)

A couple morphs I discovered (the generic two) for reference, in order of appearance — Albino, Hypo

Choosing this specific picture to show you just how meaty these guys are

For this next one I would like to mention that small snakes just aren’t my jam. I’d be scared of them getting out and then getting lost in like a bowl of noodles or something. We’re going Medium, Large, then Reticulated Python.

III. Reticulated Pythons

This image does nothing to show you just how huge these snakes are.

These pythons are just. Ridiculous. Why does he need all that. This is also a REALLY fat reticulated python.

These pythons are also (?) constrictors, and native to south and southeast Asia. A few have been introduced into the wild in florida, as a direct result of pet importation. Kind of like how those other snakes are all over the florida keys who aren’t even the biggest snakes ever (put some respect on my girl’s name) except im (fairly) certain that Reticulated Pythons aren’t AS invasive as like. Those other ones. Man I should be talking about boa constrictors right now.

Anyways, these snakes are the best, whatever. Its just huge. Like three Lelas. They get to 15 feet long and that’s SMALL, some have been up to. Oh my gods the biggest one they’ve found was 29 feet long. It was almost 30 feet long. Guys what the flip.

Do I plan on getting any of these snakes?

Ball Python – Yes

Bull Snake – Maybe, if I can get one as a baby and properly socialize it to me

Retic – I am 5’0. That Snake is, literally, over three of me. At it’s smallest. No. It can and will eat me and I’d rather not freeze rabbits in my fridge for the rest of my life, because it lives to be 50+.

That’s all!!! I thought I would have some times to talk about my FAVORITE youtubers ever but I don’t, but do NOT worry I’m fully capable of talking for a really long time about a lot of random animals and probably will next blog. Bye Bye!!

Morph List – World of Ball Pythons

Snake Discovery – YouTube

Zoo – Snake Discovery

My New Obsessions with Superheroes

So, I know my last blog was about Superman, but this is so important guys. I’ve fallen in love with superheroes 18 years into my life, like both Marvel and DC, which is weird because I’ve always only liked DC since it felt like they had more cartoons, and for all my life I’ve ONLY ever watched cartoons, but this all started with Superman… And Deadpool, which isn’t that surprising.

My Grandma never had cable while we were growing up, so she collected movies. She had X-Men, Spiderman, Superman, Batman, and Wolverine. So, my interest in Superman was already talked about, and I watched Man of Steel and the Newest Superman movie. Along with the Dark Knight movies (I cried at the end of Dark Knight rises), and the newest Batman movie. I was so scared that I would watch them and not like them, so I procrastinated it for months until Christmas break because my grandma bought me the new movies for Christman! (Love her) where I binged them all. I even have Superman Vs. Batman which I haven’t watch yet, but I have some memory of it for some reason.

Superman (2025) | Beenama The Batman - Superando todas as expectativas - Crossover NERD

I also watched the Deadpool trilogy, which encouraged me into Marvel, and I also watched the Spider verse movie for the first time a couple of weeks ago! Watching Deadpool & Wolverine encouraged me to search my grandma’s house for the Wolverine movie, which I haven’t watched just yet. There is also this youtuber named Mike’s Mic who I love watching. He made videos on both the Fantastic Four, which I forgot how much I loved them, and videos on the X-Men, and for some reason the movie my grandma had disappeared in her abyss of movies, but she will be found soon… Fantastic Four (2005) summary & plot - Spoiler Town

Prime Video: Deadpool & Wolverine

Now, I have huge plans to collect comics and physical DVD’s because not only has my love of superhero’s grown, but my love of having physical copies of things has a well. Soon, I’ll dust off those Spiderman movies, and I’ll live my dream of actually liking superhero’s. Growing up in a household that loved superhero’s and not liking them was NOT for the weak. I have to make this my whole personality for as long as I possibly can.

Being into superhero’s has also like done something to my morals. I’ve always had subjectively good morals, but this really opened my eyes. Especially like watching the lives of these fictional characters who feel so real. I cried during the Superman movie when he talked about how he was more human than most humans, and I cried when Alfred told Bruce that all he ever wanted was for him to live his life in the Dark Knight Movie. And Spoiler, I guess?? I sobbed during the Batman when Alfred died, and had been dead for almost two hours, and Batman couldn’t do anything about it. It’s like unlocking this secretly sensitive side of me. I’ve always been an empath. Most people are, but it’s usually so hard for me to actually feel for someone, but these movies have encouraged me to continue to do my best to make big changes in this world.

Be like Superman who lived most of his life being a hero, and even though it wasn’t what he was meant to do, he continued to!

Be like Batman, who doesn’t have powers, but still fights for what’s right even if he has to make sacrifices. (Also, he’s so freaking rich, so get that bag too)

Be like Spiderman, who even when his life got flipped upside down, he still did what he could to prove himself and be a hero.

Be like Deadpool who cared for his family so much, that he fought battles that he didn’t even think he could win.

Idk smth about being Punk rock…

"Deadpool" Is A Genuinely Funny Action-Comedy - San Francisco News

Hair Colors!!

Yapperism

My hair journey!!!

Lil different of a blog today, but I’m feeling like I want to talk about my hair and, yeah!!! We’re talking about hair!!

For most of my life, up until I was like 12, I was convinced that I had straight hair. Like, when I was a kid it was PIN straight, with absolutely no wave or curl or whatever. My mom had straight hair as a baby, then she hit puberty and allll of her hair curled up so tight, kind of like those overly defined princess curls. My dad’s entire family, on the other hand, had around 2C-3B hair and REFUSE to take care of it at all, and to each their own (I guess) but danny LOVES curls

I always wanted colorful hair as a kid. Black hair, to be specific, with blue highlights and a peekaboo before it was cool. Specifically around #73bfb8 (Yes, this is a hex code. Little danny was very specific) but my mom WOULDN’T LET ME!!! She told me that when I was 10 I could dye my hair, and boy was I ready. We bought my first batch of hair dye and dyed the underhalf of my hair blue. Using a monstrosity. Splat Original Complete Kit, Semi-Permanent Hair Dye with Bleach, Blue ...

I don’t remember what the box looked like then, honestly, but It was so dark on my hair because we didn’t bleach it that you could only really see it in the sunlight, which I did not get much of.

Later on, when I was, like, 11, shortly after coming out as trans, I decided “Y’know what? I told my mom and I want a haircut!” I begged and i beggeddd, then she eventually told me NO anywyas, but she let me put blonde dye over my hair that made me ginger. I wish I still had pictures from that time, because it was something for sure. My hair was so long that it was to my mid back and I decided, y’know what? I want a BUZZ CUT, with a super secret third stage that will travel with me to the grave. It was bad getting my mom to agree to cutting off ALL of my hair, and I haven’t spoken of that in-between haircut since I was eleven, and I will not go searching for pictures.

My buzz cut was kind of the start of me taking care of my hair, and it’s been 5 years since I got it cut!! I used to get my hair cut shorter, like barely above my shoulders, but I eventually decided on letting it grow out. It’s hard to focus on things like growth, maintaining my wavy hair, AND coloring it at the same time, but i wanted nothing to do with ACTUALLY letting my hair heal to let it grow out.

As it was growing out from the buzz i realized it wasn’t as straight as it was before, and was actually a lot curlier when it first grew back out. It was pretty long, about the length it is now, before i finally got a haircut and had it shaped a lot, then i INSTANTLY bleached and dyed half of it. Also red.

I dyed it black for school, then instantly swore off of dyeing my hair black ever ever again, then some time towards the end of that school yeah i dyed my entire head pink. This was like the first time i was ever allowed to dye ALL of my hair, and i was super excited, even if it turned out really bad. I really liked the color that i ended up with, but it only looked like that because of an uneven dye lol.

later that year, like within the same school semester, i dyed my hair bright red right before going to Universal as a class trip. I think out of all of the decisions ive made in my life, dyeing my hair red is absolutely top 3. Dont take that seriously ive made more than that.

I feel like my hair color is such a big part of my personality, kind of like a trademark of mine. Sometimes I consider dying it another color, or doing maybe black on the longer parts, but I’m also so happy with my hair being red (Like one of the best colors) that I don’t wanna have or try anything else.

That’s all I have to talk about this week, weirdly. I’ll see what I can whip up for next blog that’s (hopefully) something more put together!!

Vacation

Shopping

Walk.

Swimming

Family time