Tag: ramble

Hello my beautiful peeps!!! For those who aren’t in my English Comp class then you probably don’t know that I wrote an entire essay on different types of clowns which was really fun. I’m not really sure where my love for clowns came from but I think they are really cool. While doing some research for my essay I got to learn about the love triangle between Pierrot, Columbine, and Harlequin from the Italian drama Commedia Dell’arte. 

So without further ado I am going to tell y’all about this tragic love story. 

First off who are these people: 

       For a little background Pierrot is a clown we all probably know but don’t recognize entirely. Pierrot is known as the stereotypical sad clown. He is the one who only wears white and black and constantly has a solemn expression. In the play we uncover the reason for Pierrot being this constantly sad character, and it’s because his lover Columbine leaves him for another. 

Because of this heartbreak he decides to hide behind a mask of comedy for others which doesn’t entirely work. See, Pierrot was hopelessly in love with Columbine and when he loses her to another he ends up losing a part of himself as well. 

       Moving on, let’s turn our focus on Pierrot’s lover Columbine. She is known as being a rare beauty who is very sharp and witty. There are two versions of this story, one where Columbine is married to Pierrot and another where she is being pursued by him. But in both she ends up leaving the sad clown for another, crushing the hopeless heart of Pierrot. See though the thing is Columbine doesn’t care that she is hurting him because to her, he is the one hurting her with his lack of charm and over dramatics. 

     Now if you are wondering who this mysterious other lover is let me tell you. The other lover who sweeps the beautiful Columbine off her feet is the very charismatic and colorful Harlequin. A nimble and mischievous trickster who enjoys dressing in vibrant colors. Now Harlequin is basically the total opposite of Pierrot. While Pierrot is sad, Harlequin is charming, bright and sly. He has tons of wit like Columbine and does acrobatics instead of dramatics. 

      Now that you know the characters and some of the story, let me explain the heartbreaking irony of the play. The irony tangled within the play is to show the irony of a facade. An agonizing mask that helps one cover emotional repression. It shows how painting a smile is psychologically draining and overall harmful. 

      Commedia Dell’arte is definitely one of the reasons I love clowns, especially with its too real of a meaning. Because this is a topic society knows but hates talking about. Some other interesting things I found out when researching this play was the infamous phrase “The show must go one.” I know we all know this saying, but did you know this isn’t a phrase of pride or something that helps push a person forward. Instead this phrase shows a prison sentence, it’s a warning about the all too real human experience of trying to match society’s demands while suffering inside. Another thing I loved from this was a phrase “Vesti la giubba” which translates to “Put on the costume” where the clowns are singing “Laugh, clown, at your broken love! Laugh at the pain that poisons your heart!”  Y’all this hit so hard and I love it so much. 

Well I’ll leave you with that, my peeps, so I hope you enjoyed it. Peace and Love!!!

You know what’s just as bad as writing blocks to me? An editing block. I’ve had such good ideas, inspirations, and intros for edits for a few weeks, but I can’t find a single edit audio I actually want to use. When I say I have searched in the deepest pits of the internet for a single audio I like, I mean it. It’s always just the same five audios that are currently popular everyone is posting. Well guess what? I don’t want to use those. If I knew how to make a halfway decent one myself, I would have done so already.

For me, an editing block is the same as a writing block because they’re both things I enjoy doing. And to have a block means I’m not having any new ideas that I can make come to life. 

The problem with not having an audio I can use is that it’s the foundation of any edit. To make an edit, you need to start with an audio, then match beats so you know where to put clips and for how long. So, if I can’t find that foundation, then how am I supposed to create something? Can you build a house without laying the foundation first? No? I didn’t think so.

For once in a long time, I actually have good ideas for edits—I have intros I want to use and people I want to edit. Usually, it would be the other way around. I have the audio, but finding who I want to edit to it and with what intro is what I have to do. And this “audio block” has lasted like two weeks.

The last two edits I’ve made are with audios I had to dig for for what felt like hours. And actually, the one I just made is a part of a trend, so I didn’t even have to search much. That’s not to say I don’t like the edits—I wouldn’t have posted them if I didn’t like them, I would have left them in my drafts to never see the light of day. It’s just that I want to make something I haven’t seen other people make, I don’t just want to follow a trend so that I can stay consistent with my posts.

All I ask for is a single good edit audio to help me get over this writer’s block. I miss the days where I could spend hours making two or three because I was overwhelmed with audios I liked. Now, all the ones I like, I’ve already used. And the ones currently being posted to use aren’t fitting my taste.

Guys, I genuinely liked play-writing so much. I get some people weren’t so fond of the idea and execution, but I personally enjoyed it. I think it helped me with dialogue since I’ve never really been the best at making my dialogue flow smoothly like it would in real life. It really proved challenging at first because I was so unfamiliar with the concept, but I like to think mine came out decently. I mean, I tried to make it wound natural and I’m really hoping it comes across as so.

Now, I can’t exactly spoil what I wrote since we haven’t done a workshop on it yet, but just now, I actually tried on this assignment guys, I swear. I let two of my peers proofread it, one being my roommate and the other being my suitemate, and both agreed it came out fine. I double checked for grammar and spelling mistakes, but there are likely going to be some found, as nothing is perfect. Maybe it wouldn’t make a good on stage scene, but that’s fine with me. I’m just happy to be proud of my work for once.

The concept for the play was just something that came to me when Dr. A was first introducing play writing to us and set the assignment. Actually, I had a few others alongside it, but the one I chose really spoke to me in a way I couldn’t explain. I like being able to delve into concepts I haven’t touched on much, while still adding my own touch I feel I use in all my works. But, I was so hurt when I realized I was a page short, so if the ending feels off-kilter, I’m so sorry.

So far during the workshop, I’m really loving that people are including comedy in their works since it’s kinda the first time in the workshop we’ve written comedy. That’s to say, I’m really enjoying the ideas you guys are coming up with. Getting to see how everyone else writes and their own styles is special, because no two people’s writing is going to be the same. 

Well, let me wrap this up before I get too far into it. After all, you guys still have to read and give your opinions on it. This just goes to say I really liked this assignment and I’m totally enjoying getting to read your guys’ work!

Hey my peeps!!!! So some random info I found out this weekend was that my dad actually went to school with a serial killer, Dr. Christopher Duntsch. Turns out that during 1990 my dad played football defense with Duntsch at Millsaps College which is not cool, but I thought it kinda was. Hehehe. 

Ah hem! *Clears throat*

Now let me tell y’all about the killer who played football with my dad. 

Christopher Duntsch also known as ‘Dr. Death’ – He was very charismatic, whose charm made people feel comfortable with him and safe. Little did they know he didn’t really care about them at all. 

Some important background information that will tie into the story later is that Dr. Duntsch was a man who had a problem abusing drugs and alcohol. The drugs he was caught using were cocaine, LSDs and certain prescription drugs. 

Dr. Death ended up going to three different colleges first Millsaps, then Colorado State University, and finally the University of Memphis where he got his medical degree and completed a neurosurgery residency & fellowship. However a little info on that was the normal amount of surgical cases in a neuro residency is around 1,600, yet Dr. Death reportedly noted performing fewer than 100. The only reason he appeared to be an outstanding candidate for hospitals was the fact that he LIED on his resume like a lot!

Ok moving forward– so Dr. Death somehow ended up working at 4 hospitals in Texas over the span of 2 years. Also in that time he worked on 38 patients where 33 ended up paralyzed or crippled and 2 died. Most of the time he was operating he was noted as having childish behavior and most likely being under the influence. One nurse noted that during one operation his eyes seemed bigger than normal and it appeared that he didn’t blink (which could be wrong but hey – i tell y’all anyway). Another nasty report was that he seemed to not change his scrubs because there was a hole in one of his pairs of scrubs that continued to appear for 3 consecutive days. Like EWWWWWWWWW! There was even an email he sent to his mistress while under the influence of cocaine that said “What I am being is what I am, one of kind, a mother fucker stone cold killer that can buy or own or steal or ruin or build whatever he wants [sic].” (from Texas District & County Attorneys Association)

In the end Dr. Death was only brought to justice after fellow doctors recognized his negligence and criminal intentions, and they reported him first to the medical board of Texas than to the authorities. 

WARNING: So for this last bit I’m gonna tell y’all about one of his ‘signature moves’ warning though this might be kinda graphic and unsetting. 

In December 2012 one patient of Dr. Death, Jacqueline (Jackie) Troy, sadly woke up after her surgery without the ability to speak or breathe leaving her on a ventilator, feeding tube and needing multiple more surgeries to even survive. This was all a result of Dr. Death opened her up from the front of her neck and when he did he pinned her esophagus beneath surgical instruments damaging them along with punctured her trachea and severing her vocal cords. Mind you the only thing he was meant to do was a cervical spinal fusion which was supposed to help fix her neck and back pain. Y’all this was supposed to be a simple easy procedure that ended in Jackie almost losing her life. He later did this to another patient, Jeff Glidewell, in June of 2013; where he cut a hole in his esophagus and damaged his vocal cords as well cutting a major artery in his neck. The only way Glidewell survived is because of the hospital staff in the room physically removing Dr. Death from his patient and sewed Glidewell back up. Little did they know Dr. Death left pieces of surgical sponge in this patient’s neck that caused sepsis to be born that almost ended Gladewell’s life. 

Ok peeps that is enough of some of Dr. Death’s crimes. I hope you enjoyed and found this as interesting as I did. Peace and Love. 

Guys, I genuinely love movies so much. My roommate loves to remind me that every morning when she wakes up I’m watching something new. Ever since I was little, I just had an appreciation for seeing scenes being acted out on the screen. From the colors to the acting itself, it hooked a younger me into a world where anything can be what you make of it. 

There’s so many movies I’ve seen that I’ll ask my friends if they’ve even heard of, and most of the time, they haven’t. And what sucks is I tried to get my roommate to watch my favorite movie and I couldn’t freaking find it anywhere. What do you mean no streaming service is showing Silence of the Lambs? I’m offended.

I’ve always been more of a movie person rather than a television show kind of person. Sure, I could watch an entire season of Dexter in one sitting, in a single day, but once I turn it off, it’s not coming back on for a while. There’s just so much to watch, so many movies to pick from, that it’s hard for me to sit down and finish a tv show. Now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t think I ever have actually finished a show.

I started watching the 100—never got through season six before it got taken off of Netflix. But hey, at least I got to finish all the good seasons, I heard the ending was trash anyway. As for my favorite show, Teen Wolf, I never got past season five. I just put off watching it for a while and then never picked it back up again. It’s been over a year since I’ve watched any of it. 

Movie series? I have no problem whatsoever finishing one. Actually, the other day I decided to rewatch the Hunger Games for no reason other than simply wanting to. This morning, while I was getting ready, I finished the first movie. After I finish watching them all, I plan on rewatching Pirates of the Caribbean, and then maybe Harry Potter. Every year it’s all the same—I watch the same few movie series that I really enjoy, even if I’ve seen them all a hundred times.

Everyone always tells me that I would appreciate a tv show much more since they can incorporate a lot more detail over the span of seasons and episodes. But I just don’t have the patience to watch an entire series as fast as everyone else. I’m on the season three finale of Dexter, where I’ve sat for about two months, and so I likely will finish the series about this time next year. Till then, I’ll stick with my never-ending quota of movies that change genres everyday.

Guys, I genuinely miss my coworkers so freaking much. I spent over two months getting so close to everyone, and now with my being in school, I see them once in a blue moon. It’s not like I can really text them or anything since I don’t have their numbers because I was used to just seeing them everyday. I miss all the inside jokes and the laughter before opening, the nicknames and the trips to yayas frozen yogurt once my shift was up. I had such memorable experiences with them all and it’s sad to me that I don’t get to be around them as much.

What really helped my separation anxiety from them was getting to see them all over the past weekend. Once Zoe heard I was only making a hundred bucks even though it would be a busy football weekend, she simply handed me a wad of ones wrapped in a rubber band. I honestly felt bad that she did it, but she insisted. Towards the end of my shift my other coworker Treyce handed me ten bucks and a firm pat on the shoulder. I always feel so loved when it comes to being around them all.

As the shift progressed, we all realized it wasn’t nearly as bad as we all had thought it would be—and not as bad as the previous day had been. That’s not to say it was slow, no, I mean we had a line out the door a few times, but that was quickly managed. From what I heard, the day before had had a line out the door practically all day and everyone was far too busy to notice the security guard they had hired from a company, who was acting as hostess, was taking money from customers to put them on a nonexistent waitlist.

I’m kinda glad it wasn’t busy, to be honest. That way, I got more time to just talk with my coworkers and catch up on things. Luckily, most of my favorites were on shift with me so I got the best of all worlds. Oh, and Ava came to see me. Once it really died down and was considerably slow, I invited her over since she was already in Oxford anyway. Her parents came, too. All four of us just sat down in a booth and ordered a little food, talked, and I introduced her to the coworkers I’d been telling her all about for almost two months. I already miss everyone, though, if I’m being honest. 

Looking back on just a few hours ago, I’m completely sick with my decision to work on LSU weekend. I mean, I’ve been at school all week; God knows I’ll be tired by Friday and am not going to want to do anything until we come back to campus Sunday. Not to mention, I’m going to be on the square in Oxford, working at a place that has a bar for people to watch the game. Anytime over the summer any of my coworkers brought up football season, you could see them all physically shudder. On a normal day at work, the restaurant would have four servers, a bartender, a busser, and a food runner. On football weekends? Two bartenders, five servers, two bussers, and two food runners. Complete hell. 

Sure, the money’s good and all, but my feet are screaming at me an hour in. Now, personally, I’ve never worked for a football weekend—I only started working at the diner over the summer for some extra money. But on days when I couldn’t even wipe a table down before another was sitting? Oh, I hated it. The good news was that we only had about two days like that during the summer since all the college students were gone. Now everyone is back, and I heard that there have never been more people at and watching Ole Miss since it opened. I’m scared. 

Literally, someone pray for me. I know there’s going to be a line out the door all day, and a line halfway around the square before we even open. I feel like that one TikTok meme of the girl crashing out in her car and crying. If I make around two hundred bucks that’d be great, but will it be worth it? Maybe, maybe not. At least I know better than to even think I’ll get anything close to a break Saturday. And after work? I’m crying in the car and sleeping in my bed until it’s time to come back to MSA.

In my bio, I clearly said I’d be ranting on here, and that’s exactly what I’m doing. Ranting about a weekend that will indeed not go down in the history books. There’s only like two upsides to this entire situation: I get to see my coworkers again after so long, and I get money. I miss my coworkers so much, but that’s a rant for another day. I’m just happy my mom will be there with me. Did I forget to mention we work together? Oh well. It’s not like we’ll have any time to see each other unless we’re shouting, “Behind you,” every five seconds in that cramped diner on our way to juggle five more tasks.