Category: Junior Literary

This post is a continuation of a previous blog I’ve written a few weeks ago, which you can read here! So, if you haven’t read part one already, I’d highly recommend doing that before carrying on. Anyway, I’m going to start exactly where we left off!

“Whether I’ve been caramelized or rotten to the core
Which one should I be?
‘Cus I dunno who I’m supposed to be anymore
And it’s sickening!”

Since Flower has tried to conform to so many people and groups, she’s forgotten who she was before her obsession. She doesn’t remember who she was or her original personality, and it’s beginning to make her sick. 

Again, the video switches to a darker tone as Flower starts falling into a void. She falls in front of a graphic that resembles a dessert plate and a fork and knife cross behind her.

“I’ll overeat the implications of your thoughts
Just to make you happy
Nonetheless, I feel my insides are tied in knots
Aren’t I more than everything?”

This line refers to how Flower overanalyzes every potential thought and comment made about her and is overwhelmed by the amount of “requirements” she has to meet for others. She can’t handle it, but she also can’t stop. She can’t understand why she hasn’t become what everyone wants yet, and at this point she feels like her suffering should have even surpassed that.

“I’m a recipe for entropy
I’m too overwhelming
Give me your validation
I can taste your apprehension.”

After all of the ingredients thrown into her, she’s become a recipe for unease and chaos, and she’s overwhelming herself. She needs validation to recover, but after it all, all she can taste are people’s apprehension towards her, even if that’s not all that’s there or even there at all.

“These flavors of personality are
Hindering my likeability
My impulsive desire, my appetite has
Spoiled my urge to satisfy.

Everyone will like me more without it!
Everyone will like me more without it!”

Flower realizes that all of these personality traits are “hindering her likeability” and have merged into something unsavory. Her want has now turned into an impulse she can’t control and has ruined her want for people to like her.

The scene then switches back to the sugary and bubbly world, but it’s now somewhat off. The cake is shown again. It’s really late now, so make sure to tune in for part 3 next week because I’m on the verge of death 😉

 

so im a lizard. seems like on odd title. but it’ll make sense as we go. 

I’m the head of the D&D club here at MSA. for those who don’t know what D&D is, it stands for Dungeons and Dragons, and it is an IRL role-playing game.  

D&D is a game where you get to take your imagination to the next level. there are varying degrees of how you might play the game depending on how dedicated you are and/or how long you’ve been playing. But the first step to playing this game is creating your character. 

so for those who are new to the game, creating a character can seem like a daunting task. there are so many choices! but I’ll walk you through ( and hopefully simplify) the process just a little bit.

so the first step is choosing a Race. you could be a human, a giant, a satyr, or a rat! You could even create a new race if you wanted to.  But in most cases, there are your standard choices: Dragonborn, Dwarfs, Elfs, Half-Elfs, Half-Orcs, Humans, Halflings, Tiefling, Gnomes, Goliath, Genasi, Aarakocra, and Aasimar. And there are tons of other races out there, and tons more you could create! which brings me to my title – my newest character is a lizard!

the second step is Class (basically your job/whatever your good at.) and for this, there is a list:

• Barbarian
• Bard
• Cleric
• Druid
• Fighter
• Monk
• Paladin
• Ranger
• Rogue
• Sorcerer
• Warlock
• Wizard

these classes are basically choosing how you fight. Barbarians are known for rushing into battles and going on a rampage. Rogues are known for being skilled thieves or assassins, and Bards are known for ‘enchanting’ people wherever they go (whether with magic or other means we will never know.)

Each class has its own strengths too; like Monks, who get bonuses for dexterity and wisdom, or Druids, who get bonuses for wisdom and intelligence. And once you get your level or XP high enough, you can multiclass! then you can combine different classes and have more spells or abilities. 

then you get to chose your ability scores. these are your Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma. Strength is pretty straight forward, so I won’t explain that one, but I’ll give a little more insight on the others. 

Dexterity is basically how good you are at climbing, jumping, sneaking, hiding, running, etc. I relate Constitution to saving throws (when your death was pretty much certain, but you still get to roll to see if you survive) and Charisma is jokingly thought of as the bard’s highest stat, but it’s chalked up to how good looking and persuasive your character can be. 

Intelligence and Wisdom are very similar to me, but I looked up some phrases and stuff to try to clarify which is which.

Intelligence is knowing Frankenstein wasn't the monster. 
Wisdom is knowing Frankenstein WAS the monster.

Intelligence determines how well your character learns and reasons.
Wisdom describes a character’s willpower, common sense, perception, and intuition.

And I found this one to try to describe all of the stats. 

Strength is being able to crush a tomato.
Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato. 
Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato. 
Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit. 
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad. 
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.

And once you are done dealing with those 3 things, you finally get to design your character!!! this step is when you gave your character their name and appearance, along with their background, lifestyle, beliefs, and how they interact with others. this is the step where you get to flesh out your character’s personality, looks, and friends and family. 

the final step is assigning equipment and/or gold. On websites like DnD Beyond, they usually have to option of starter equipment and such, so this part isn’t so much of a hassle. 

But those are mostly the basics! hope this will make your journey to create a character I lot easier – remember you can be as creative as you’d like!  you could even be a lizard. (btw my lizard’s name is Eek Ard!) 

happy playing!

Hey dudes and dudettes and everyone else. I volunteered as a library assistant for over four years in my hometown and I loved every second of it. I knew when I started that I wanted to do something like that for the rest of my life. I thought many times about what my library would look like and I came up with a little piece of writing to bring it to life for you and me. I really hope you enjoy it.

 

The clouds outside are in a battle with the sun. Rain pours down like a beat made by the oars of the Osberg. The warm cream colored walls lined with walnut stained wood trim are warm and inviting. Fairy lights and cozy lamps line corners and rest above the bookshelves. Luscious green plants teem from windowsills, overflowing with life. Tall bookshelves line the walls, their color matching the trim of the interior of the shop. Cozy mismatched armchairs and loveseats covered with throws and pillows. Tables accompany them. Upon one, a marble chessboard lies, an interrupted match on the arena. Piles of novels lie on every table, resting in every nook and cranny. Peacoat-covered bodies accompanied by umbrellas and their favorite worn platform shoes as to not get their feet wet are all over the bookshop that doubled as a library. Most of them spend their lunch time here, losing themselves in the magical worlds inside each book. We play classical piano over the speakers softly, to comfort the customers. Maps litter the walls, each one portraying a world from the books in this shop. From The lonely mountain, Erebor, to the Shire, we have maps of everything here. There are little café tables scattered for those who like to eat or catch up on some work on their laptops. There is a little coffee bar for those of us writers who need the liquid nectar. Occasionally, a few children and their parents will come in, asking for hot cocoa. The little tykes usually skip to one of the old, large beanbag chairs and grab Curious George, begging their favorite staff member to read with them. Teenagers, plagued by depression and isolation, practically live here, having found a nice quiet place to drown out the dullness of their existence. They delve into Anne Rice, Poe, Steven King, of Ellen Schrieber for hours at a time, only leaving their fortresses of solitude for refills of their coffee. My little bookshop is home to people who love it just as much as I do.

School is back in session. Actually, it has been for a while now. The first semester is over and the second is starting. By now, people understand that school during a pandemic is filled with endless stress and challenges. There is really nothing easy about it. To be quite honest, students attending school whether it’s virtual or in person deserve way more than a pat on the back. 

Students across all learning paths are still figuring out just how this works and so are the teachers. I honestly feel for the teachers who have gotten used to a specific teaching method that just won’t work virtually. They are forced to teach their curriculum different entirely just as students are forced to learn differently. Now, with these predicaments, most would think grading would also be less harsh.

Although the way teaching is done and curriculum is learned, expectations remain the same. How can one possibly expect a student to have the same mindset virtually as they do in person? I know, it takes a certain level of discipline and drive to want to finish your work on time and maintain good grades; but, it isn’t easy doing so while still being present in your regular everyday life.

School from home is different for everyone. Some people avoid school at all costs, so this is paradise. For others who aren’t so fortunate to have the best home life, may find this a struggle within itself. School can sometimes be a much needed distraction from personal struggles and issues. You can’t get that virtually.

Doing school from home may cause a person to sit in the same space all day with constant thoughts and worries. The constant emails can be annoying. Keeping track of time can be difficult. And trying to maintain a focus during a Zoom is basically impossible.

All I am asking is that teachers and educators take into consideration that school is not the only thing students have to worry about. You can never truly know what happens once the screens turn off. Don’t call your students lazy and take away points because work isn’t done on time. We, as students, understand wanting to maintain normalcy; but, you simply can’t do that during a pandemic. Nothing is normal. I haven’t seen the lower half of a person’s face in public for nearly a year. 

Stop grading so harshly and please try to sympathize and understand that school isn’t really our main focus right now. Students all over are adapting to a new way of life that they didn’t know was going to happen. Students are growing up in a world that is changing rapidly. Tomorrow isn’t promised and we realize that. 

Typing during a panoramic,

An Unmotivated Student 🙂

 

 

Recently, I found two of my closest friends to be insecure. Like, very insecure. I understand, but I don’t at the same time. If I’m  being honest, my mind was absolutely blown because of how insecure they were. I can’t really grasp it. Well, I do understand because I used to be insecure. I still AM insecure, but it’s not as bad. It’s really hard to explain without coming off as bigheaded of judgmental, but I promise I’m not judging.

I grew up insecure, at a really young age. I didn’t know there was such thing as fat or ugly of too much fair on a face until someone I loved said those things about herself. I think it’s really important that adults are mindful of what they say around a developing brain. My insecurities began in the 2nd grade and ended around in the 9th. That’s SEVEN years of caring what other people think, putting that negativity back out in the universe, and being miserable.

I thought that because I grew out of it, everyone else did too, but that isn’t the case. We were sitting around in a circle, making jokes, having a good time, when we looked to our friend and said, “take your mask off bro, let’s see what you look like”. He refused. We kept bugging him, and I could tell he was hurting on the inside. He tried to play it off cool but I’m psychic and could tell he was really dying in his head. I looked at them and told them they were beautiful. Who cares if we laugh, and that you can’t care what other people think. They put their hand on their head and started to cry. So many emotions flowed through my body. I told them it was okay to cry, and tried to be the best friend I could be.  

A lot of things began to make sense in that moment. We as a whole HAVE GOT TO have more compassion for people. To be more kind. To be mindful in everything we say and do. It’s so important. Love is the frequency.

I’m going to tell you a secret, a special secret that you can tell anyone who needs to hear it. If someone is mean to you– calls you ugly, fat, stinky– anything negative, it’s because they feel that way about themselves. They were put under a spell that made them believe it.

You have to stop and make a hard decision. You have to turn to them and love them. They need it. When others are put under spells, they try to put others under them, but you have to be aware of this so you can protect yourself and play wizard to break them from their spell. It’s okay. It’s no one’s fault, and with love in your heart, and kindness in your mind, you can break many spells you magic wizard! You might even be under a spell right now. WELL, LET IT GO. FREE YOURSELF. It’s so easy to be nice to yourself, and so simple.

YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. LIKE, LITERALLY, HOW CAN ANYONE BE UGLY?WHAT EVEN IS UGLY? PLEASE TELL ME BECAUSE THERE IS NO SUCH THING. Every single day, you’d better look in a mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful, worthy of love, worthy of good things coming to you. BE YOUR OWN HYPE MAN. Because you breathe life, you flow with emotions, you laugh, your eyes gleam when you talk passionately. YOU are so beautiful. Self-love always starts with how you talk to yourself. It’s so easy to talk nicely to yourself, so do it, baby! Do something nice for yourself. You can do it. I believe in you.

If you recognize shared traits in another person, be nice to them and love them. It’s so easy. The world would be so much more prettier. This is YOUR world. Who are they? You feel me? Look up some affirmations or call SZA’s hotline. Repeat them to yourself and really feel them. Feel those nice words you’re saying to yourself. Believe them. You deserve it. Love yourself because there’s literally enough hate in this world already. 

Some affirmations:                                                 SZA’s hotline: 

I am worthy of good things.                                888-808-0CRY                   

I am beautiful. 

My love is kind. 

The universe works for me. 

I see my judgmental thoughts, I understand their root, and I release them. 

I release all things that do not serve me. 

I am thankful for everything I have received. 

I am growing. 

I have the strength to face my traumas. 

I attract good vibes. 

Love yourself for you, you deserve it. Take days do hair and face mask, a new makeup look, take some hot pictures, tap into your divine femininity. YOU DESERVE IT. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. It’s a hard process sometimes but the more you put action in the better things will get. Be gentle to your mind and yourself. You got this bro. 

     Almost exactly one week ago, I found myself falling down the endless void that is my TikTok ‘For You’ Page for the second time that day. About twenty minutes passed before I stumbled across a familiar face: Jojo Siwa. For those of you who are unaware, Jojo is a dancer, singer, and social media personality who is best known for her hit song “Boomerang,” being on two seasons of Dance Moms, and her wild, colorful style. In this video, the 17-year-old sported her iconic ponytail and glitter-covered bow hairstyle and lip-synced to Lady Gaga’s pride anthem “Born This Way.” 

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJEmHSTu/

     I immediately had the feeling that this video was more than it appeared to be at the surface level, and my suspicions were confirmed a day or so later by the gray ‘liked by creator’ tag hovering below many of overwhelmingly supportive comments congratulating her on coming out in her newer tiktoks. Four days ago, Jojo took to Instagram to express her gratitude towards humanity and said, “For the last–what would it be now?–72 hours, I have gotten the most endless amount of love and support…I think humans are really incredible people.”

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CKZp4ZLh7Qp/?igshid=1m2foe6nrq3mv 

     A certain warmth encapsulated my heart when I realized, and I am still overjoyed by this wonderful addition to the community. Many people have taken to social media to reflect on their experience as non-straight youth, and they expressed how the lack of Sapphic representation in media affected their understanding of their sexuality. Positive representation not only reaffirms for these kids that they are valid in their attraction and experience; it also serves to increase acceptance and support for the LGBTQ+ community as a whole. 

     Like always, there is still a small minority of people spreading bigotry-fueled negativity. A handful claim that Jojo is too young to understand her own sexuality–you heard it first hear folks! You have to be 18 or older to figure out if you’re not straight, but of course, those who are heterosexual are ‘allowed’ to know what their sexuality is the second their parents decide that they want to start forcing heteronormativity on their children. Some parents have expressed concern with their children consuming Jojo’s content. Next up on news: having a gay idol does not make anyone gay. If a person realizes something about themselves after witnessing someone like her live authentically, it was already who they were to begin with.

     In spite of this, Jojo has remained resilient. She responded to one of these negative comments on Instagram in true-icon fashion, silencing the crowd with only four letters.

As of writing this, my 17th birthday was yesterday. I didn’t expect much from a pandemic birthday, but it just felt, well, just like any other day. I’ve reached the age where I stop getting presents for my birthday and just get cash, which is nice, but the magic of tearing open wrapping paper and revealing something special (or not so) is something that always lifted my spirits. I bought some party hats and streamers to try and lift the mood, but they didn’t do much.

The moods that came to me instead was a feeling of growing excitement and worsening dread. It dawned on me that this is what growing up is, and it’s so, so scary. I’ll be an adult in less than a year now, and that thought has been keeping me up at night. The difference I feel between being 16 and 17 is so drastic, even if it’s just a year. I still feel 14, so the knowledge that I’ll be a full-fledged grown up is beyond daunting. Of course, I’ll have more freedoms and I can finally live my life the way I’ve always dreamed, but my childhood is almost over. That’s something I can never get back. I’d spent so much of my childhood longing to be older and being praised for “how mature I was for my age.” I never thought I’d be longing for those days back. 

All this just means I have to make this final year of childhood count. I’m going to live these 365 days so lively and colorfly that I’ll remember them for the rest of my life. I’m going to break rules, I’m going to make my body into a canvas, and I’m going to squeeze out every last bit of teenage excitement I can. I know how much of a cringey addition this may be, but I feel like this line from Heathers: The Musical sums up how I feel pretty nicely. I’m going to go be seventeen.

“We can be seventeen
Still time to make things right
One day we’ll change the world
But let’s kick back tonight
Let’s go be seventeen
Take off our clothes and dance
Act like we’re all still kids
Cause this could be our final chance!
Always be seventeen
Celebrate you and I
Maybe we won’t grow old
And maybe then we’ll never die
We’ll make it beautiful”

anyone who knows me can tell you that i use spotify religiously; i have 30 playlists, categorized into 3 folders, and it works quite well for me. one of these playlists is called “what in the middle school,” and it’s essentially a list of every song that brings me back to a very specific moment in time that is defined by music. for example, the song clairvoyant by the story so far was very prominent in 7th grade, when i was just about to enter my first long-term relationship. and the song marry me by thomas rhett, which reminds me of 9th grade, when i developed the biggest crush on a guy that i knew would never like me back.

and the song if i’m lucky by state champs. as i was re-listening to this cringefest of a playlist, i was pleasantly surprised by how much i still enjoy this song – even after all this time. i think it’s because the lyrics can resonate with any moment of my life, which is both terrifying and very very beautiful at the same time.

the idea of screaming the lyrics, “i’m just trying to find my place in this world,” right into my living room ceiling fan is very appealing to me, and i think always will be. not only is it the perfect dose of nostalgia, it’s the theme of my life. i’ve gone to four different schools, and each one of them has taught me something different; msa, much more than any of the others. i change my setting, just trying to find my place like the song says, and it feels like i finally have.

this is a place for growth. it’s a place to build relationships, improve your art, and figure out what kind of life you want to lead for yourself. many of us will decide we want to travel the world and work as freelancers, which is okay. some of us will decide to pursue our art, some of us will not. few of us will go to trade school, and honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if more than a few of us land in prison at some point or another.

for now, though, every experience here needs to be felt wholeheartedly. there are moments that may be taken for granted, and i feel like that’s such a disservice to the time we’re spending in our lives. even class time – when we’re all waiting for something to happen, something is happening; someone is working on their blog, someone is showing their friend a funny picture, someone is recording someone else doing something stupid. during workshop, we’re pouring our souls onto paper and telling each other what we think and feel about it, which is such a fundamental part of improving our work and our relationships.

this is growth.

nights talking to the serio’s workers are moments of growth. as are impromptu tea parties with mrs. sudie, or the occasional burst of anxiety when you’re not back to school by the time you should be. everything happens for a reason, and i think taking it for granted is so dissatisfying.

like the song says, i’m looking for more than a pretty smile, and if i’m lucky, i can stay for a while. because this is my place in this world, at least for now, and i hope you all feel the same way. we worked our asses off to get here, so by god, we’re going to make the most of it.

I have many goals in life. Some of those goals are long-term others are short-term. To keep track of these goals, I created a journal with a bucket list. Last year, a couple of my friends and I said we wanted to go stargazing….it never happened. But this year, I will make sure we have the time to do so. Most of my bucket list activities will be completed over the summer, hopefully. Others will be completed whenever.

I suggest making a list of things you want to complete throughout the year. Keep track of the dates and people you did it with. This will be a sure way to remember the positives of your year and the things you really enjoyed. 

Most people only document “down moments” in their journals. Let’s change that. Put all you happy thoughts there and reminisce on the good moments. Life if too short to only see the negative.

One day at a time, Friends.

Noelle