Happy 17th! Now Let the Crises Sink in.

As of writing this, my 17th birthday was yesterday. I didn’t expect much from a pandemic birthday, but it just felt, well, just like any other day. I’ve reached the age where I stop getting presents for my birthday and just get cash, which is nice, but the magic of tearing open wrapping paper and revealing something special (or not so) is something that always lifted my spirits. I bought some party hats and streamers to try and lift the mood, but they didn’t do much.

The moods that came to me instead was a feeling of growing excitement and worsening dread. It dawned on me that this is what growing up is, and it’s so, so scary. I’ll be an adult in less than a year now, and that thought has been keeping me up at night. The difference I feel between being 16 and 17 is so drastic, even if it’s just a year. I still feel 14, so the knowledge that I’ll be a full-fledged grown up is beyond daunting. Of course, I’ll have more freedoms and I can finally live my life the way I’ve always dreamed, but my childhood is almost over. That’s something I can never get back. I’d spent so much of my childhood longing to be older and being praised for “how mature I was for my age.” I never thought I’d be longing for those days back. 

All this just means I have to make this final year of childhood count. I’m going to live these 365 days so lively and colorfly that I’ll remember them for the rest of my life. I’m going to break rules, I’m going to make my body into a canvas, and I’m going to squeeze out every last bit of teenage excitement I can. I know how much of a cringey addition this may be, but I feel like this line from Heathers: The Musical sums up how I feel pretty nicely. I’m going to go be seventeen.

“We can be seventeen
Still time to make things right
One day we’ll change the world
But let’s kick back tonight
Let’s go be seventeen
Take off our clothes and dance
Act like we’re all still kids
Cause this could be our final chance!
Always be seventeen
Celebrate you and I
Maybe we won’t grow old
And maybe then we’ll never die
We’ll make it beautiful”

Author: Lauren Stamps

Just a writer who really likes fictional robots :) View all posts by Lauren Stamps