My Commentary on Crybaby.

In this blog I want to talk about Melanie Martinez’s album “Crybaby” one of my favorite albums. The album follows a child/teen named Crybaby and each song follows her story/gives input about her life. 

Also note I am going to be talking about the music videos as well because they include details you can’t really get from listening to the songs. And I’m not going to be covering the three songs that are added on the deluxe edition: Play Date, Teddy Bear, and Cake. 

*I also put my favorite lyrics of each song at the end of the blog post :3*

First song: Crybaby 

The music video starts with the birth of Crybaby, in which her mother is heavily upset with her crying (she was literally just born but ok I guess) and exclaims “Oh God she’s a Crybaby” in annoyance, she also soon lights a cigarette in the hospital room. We also see her holding a wine bottle while attempting to feed Crybaby. In this song we get details about Crybaby specifically her sensitivity, one line entailing “You seem to replace your brain with your heart you take things to hard and then you fall apart.” We also get that she has trouble making friends. 

 

Second Song: Dollhouse TW: Drug use, infidelity and alcoholism. 

In this song we get a glimpse into her family life. This song to me specifically discusses the picture of a perfect family they attempt to fake while being incredibly dysfunctional. In this song we learn that Crybaby’s mother is an alcoholic, her father is unfaithful, and her brother is a frequent cannabis smoker. Also, a repeated lyric in this song is “Don’t let them see what goes on in the kitchen” a lyric we learn more about in the next song. 

Third song: Sippy Cup. TW: Literal murder.

In this song we focus on Crybaby’s mother and father. We see her mother sitting in the kitchen drinking late at night, we follow her mother through this downward spiral, we also see glimpses of crybaby with angel wings which is important for a theory many people have. But sooner or later we find out that the mother’s spiral is caused by the father not being home and when he does a arrive home, he has a woman with her (presumably his mistress) and when her mother sees them, she stabs them to death (in the kitchen) and after covering their bodies with a tarp. Crybaby soon comes in and sees their bodies her mother then appears behind her putting a rag over her mouth appearing to have chloroform or something on it to knock her out. Crybaby then awakes to being tied to her bed and her mother comes into frame with a sippy cup (presumably filled with alcohol) forcing Crybaby to drink it and the video ends. A lot of people believe that by feeding Crybaby the alcohol her mother is “killing her innocence.” and that Crybaby with wings represents her dead innocence. 

 

Fourth song: Carousel 

This song is Crybaby’s first venture into love, I believe this is more of a overall crush than a relationship. I don’t consider this to hold much important story. In the song she describes feeling so far away and just longing to get closer to this boy and mentions her heart being stolen. The carousel is mentioned multiple times, her being stuck on it and even referenced in the line “This horse is too slow we’re always this close.” Furthering the point that she wants to get close to this boy. In the music video also shows her repeatedly trying to catch her crush. 

 

Fifth Song: Alphabet Boy

In this song Crybaby is clearly angry and dissing someone a boy. It’s not clear who the boy is in question, but a lot of people consider it safe to assume that Alphabet boy is the same boy from Carousel. In this song Crybaby is calling “Alphabet boy” out on being self-righteous and full of himself and intern viewing her as beneath him. This is clear in “You think you’re smarter than me with all your bad poetry.”

Little Sidenote: This songs use of literation is amazing and so clever. 

Examples:

Always Aiming paper Airplanes At me. 

Building me up like Building Blocks just so you can Bring me down. 

You Can Crush my Candy Canes but you’ll never Catch me Cry. 

And with each new verse that same alliteration starts over in Alphabetical order. 

Sixth Song: Soap 

In this song Crybaby talks about a new boy she has a crush on and being afraid to say the wrong thing around him. And multiple times referencing washing her mouth out with soap in order to not reveal her feelings for him. At the end we see them kiss and we can assume she has revealed her feelings for him. 

 

Seventh Song: Training Wheels. 

This music video follows Johnny (the boy from soap) and Crybaby. We first see Crybaby pulling away from Johnny and then she slowly gets closer to him. Eventually teaching him to ride a bike successfully (without training wheels) once riding own his own we see him ride towards Crybaby who is awaiting a kiss but once he is right in front of her he disappears. The song itself seems to explore the idea of vulnerability within love and by taking off her training wheels Crybaby is fully diving into the risk of getting hurt to love unconditionally. 

Eight Song: Pity Party

In this song and music video Crybaby throws some sort of party in which no one shows up. Throughout the video we see Crybaby attempting to keep her composure until towards the end she ultimately breaks at the end destroying the party and the house. Like many songs towards the end, I didn’t really consider this song to have an overarching meaning it was just great storytelling and pushed the plot forward. I do think the incorporation of the scream into the song itself and not just having it in the video is great.  

Ninth Song: Tag, You’re it. TW: kidnapping 

In the beginning of this music video, we see Crybaby tossing away what seems like party decorations (a sort of callback to pity party). As the video progresses, we see Crybaby being followed by an ice-cream truck that had a wolf (a reference to the big bad wolf). He follows her to a grocery store where a woman with black eyes (possibly foreshadowing to the powers in K-12) hands Crybaby a vile of liquid. When Crybaby goes outside the ice-cream truck is offering free samples once she tries one it knocks her unconscious and the wolf throws her into the back of his truck. I consider this song and the next to not have any overarching meaning, I also want to say that doesn’t mean I think these songs are bad or less than the ones with strong meaning I just think these songs serve more of a storytelling purpose than to spread any specific message. 

note about the song: the way it plays with pitch and tone on certain lyrics as a sort of clue that it’s the wolf speaking is a great choice. As it not only still paints a story for people not watching the video but also clues us in on the wolf’s intentions. Example of one of these lyrics include: “I’ll cut you up and make you dinner-You’ve reached the end you are the winner.”

Tenth Song: Milk and Cookies TW: Murder again, but he’s the bad guy so it was cool.

This song follows Crybaby after she had been kidnapped. We see that she is kept in this room with a camera that allows the wolf to watch her from a separate room where there’s a phone next to the chair, he has in front of the television. Crybaby decides to make cookies the wolf watches her until the phone rings while he is distracted, she empties the vile of liquid the woman gave her into the batter. Once he is done on the phone he goes into the room with Crybaby where she offers him a cookie which he takes ultimately killing him and allowing her to escape. 

Eleventh Song: Pacify Her

In this song we dive back into Crybaby’s love life. The song follows her as she feigns for this boy’s attention even though he has a girlfriend (I believe they have some type of relationship because of the line “Now I can take her man”). In the song Crybaby is essentially trying to get “blue boy”(it’s what he’s called and he’s literally blue so…yeah) to pick her and stop paying attention to the other girl. The music video follows the same sentiment of her trying to impress which works and they almost kiss until the other girl stands up and flashes (yes flashes, also given the baby theme and the fact they’re in a literal crib this was kind of shocking, and a little icky). But after blue boy gets flashed, he picks the other girl disregarding the connection him and Crybaby had.

The blonde girl is the girl competing with Crybaby not Crybaby herself. Melanie Just played both roles.

Twelfth Song: Mrs. Potato Head TW: talk of body image issues. Music video also shows gruesome footage replicating plastic surgery (it’s not real but still).

This song is very obviously about body image and insecurity as well as touching on plastic surgery, this is clearer in the music video if you don’t pick up on the lyrics. The music starts with Crybaby sitting in front of the television eating cookies and playing with her dolls when a random commercial about blonde wigs (the girl who blue boy chose was blonde) and diet pills. Crybaby stops eating and walks to the bathroom where she puts on a blonde wig and lipstick as well as takes a whole container of diet pills and stuffs her bra full of tissue. She then goes back to the television where a different program begins to play. The program follows a man and a woman in a relationship, the woman is opening up gifts from the man one is a necklace and the next is a coupon/ad for plastic surgery. After some urging, she agrees to under the knife (which we see in gory detail, and I mean detail). After wards she takes off the bandages and it appears she has been botched, the man is visibly (it’s your fault bro but go off I guess).  In an attempt to feel beautiful again she cakes her face with makeup, and he gives her a blonde wig (BRO MOVE) after she’s all dolled up, she looks out of the window and sees him giving another young woman flowers clearly flirting with her then program ends. We see Crybaby clearly in shock taking off the wig and taking the tissues out of her bra. This song’s meaning isn’t very hard to interpret it is about how society values looks and how the societal standard for beauty impacts young girls. I love the music videos way of portraying this instead of just shunning plastic surgery overall she shames the idea of changing your appearance for anyone other than yourself.  

Thirteenth Song: Mad Hatter TW: I lot of mental health mention: specifically, the use of the word crazy and mentions of a psychiatrist. There’s also a scene where she rips her skin off and it’s a lyric in the song. 

There’s also a part where she takes a bite out of a live donut, and it was just kind of gross. 

This song has an Alice and Wonderland type vibe. It’s basically just Crybaby embracing her madness. I will talk very briefly about the music video. In the beginning Crybaby is laying on a bad smoking she then proceeds to take a pink liquid and drinks it. This obviously makes her disorientated before she fully passes out, we see two women with black eyes standing over her. After she fully falls into sleep, we follow her dream(?) this is where the Alice and Wonderland feel comes into play. There’s moving food, oversized stuffed animals the whole nine. When Crybaby wakes up, we see that she now also has black eyes then the music video ends. The black eyes again foreshadowing the powers in K-12. 

 

P.S: Sippy Cup’s has also been said to include allegories to eating disorders, but I didn’t go into those, so be weary before you listen. 

Favorite lyrics from each song: 

Crybaby: “Your hearts too big for your body that’s why it won’t fit inside”

Dollhouse: “Everyone thinks that we’re perfect please don’t let them look through the curtains”

Sippy Cup: “All the makeup in the world won’t make you less insecure”

Carousel: “Right, right when I’m near it’s like you disappear. Where’d you go Mr. Houdini, you’re a freakshow.” 

Alphabet Boy: “But you’re not my daddy and I’m not your dolly, and your dictionary’s destroyed”

Soap: “Should’ve never said the word “love”. Threw a toaster in the bathtub.” 

Training Wheels: “You’ve been riding two-wheelers all your life. It’s not like I’m asking to be your wife.”

Pity Party: “Maybe if I knew all of them well. I wouldn’t have been trapped inside this hell that holds me.” 

Tag you’re it: “Eenie, meeine, miny, mo. Catch a lady by her toes. If she screams don’t let her go”

Milk and Cookies: “Sing you a lullaby where you die at the end.”

Pacify Her: “You don’t love her. Stop lying with those words.”

Mrs. Potato Head: “It’s such a waste. When little girls grow into their mother’s face. But little girls are learning how to cut and paste. And pucker out their lips until they suffocate ha-ha.”

Mad Hatter: “Where is my prescription? Doctor, doctor, please, listen. My brain is scattered. You can be Alice; I’ll be the Mad Hatter.”

 

 

Cavoodles Are the Cutest dogs ever and you can fight me on that.

What’s up everybody? So, for as long as I can remember I’ve always wanted a dog, and like most kids who want pets my parents told me no. Even with getting told no every time I asked anytime it came up, I asked them for a dog. Mainly a husky. I always and I still want one, but this blog isn’t about huskies but about the cutest little dogs I’ve ever seen.  

Image result for cavoodle

  This little Cutie is a Cavoodle. Cavoodles are adorable crossbreeds of Cavalier King Charles Spaniels and Poodles, with soft coats and big eyes. These cuties are the most adorable dogs you’ll ever meet. They are very popular in Australia, where they are known as Cavoodles, but also have other names like Cavapoo and Cavadoodle. They are gentle, friendly, and eager to please, making them great companions for families, children, and other pets.  

They are highly trainable and smart, inheriting the intelligence of the Poodle and the affection of the Cavalier. They come in various colors and sizes, depending on the parent breeds, but usually have a medium-length muzzle and brown eyes.

Their fur is soft, and they don’t really shed as much as other dogs. So, they make the perfect pet for everyone even those with allergies. These little cuties are just the most precious dogs in the whole world. Who can say no to a face like that.

  These qualities make Cavoodles not just cute but also wonderful pets, providing joy, and companionship to their owners. Their cuteness isn’t just skin deep it’s a reflection on their lovable personalities and the happiness they bring into the lives of those lucky enough to have them as furry family members. That’s why when I get my own apartment or house, I plan to get one of these furry little guys. I don’t know how yet but I am determined to have one.  

 

Do You Remember?

                                                         Hello fellow peers! 

                       

  Have you ever come across one of those Tik Toks or YouTube shorts that bring up past games or shows from your childhood that you’ve forgotten about?  Yes?  Well, me too.  So, for this post I want to see if I can invoke some nostalgia for you and see if you remember any of these shows.  If you don’t; it’s okay, if you do; you can come cry in the corner with me as you reflect on how far you’ve grown. It has happened to me plenty of times (kidding, I don’t cry in corners) I’m also ranking them 1-10 to see which ones I should’ve remembered the most.    

          6/10 Foster Home for Imaginary Friends 

                                                   

This show itself was on Boomerang, which was the channel after Cartoon Network, but I don’t remember what they call it.   It was one of those shows that just popped up on the TV one day and you accidentally start watching it.  I personally didn’t forget about it, but my sister did, and she was so hurt when she realized that other people in our generation might not recognize this anymore.  It was about a boy whose imaginary friend took him on adventures in a house full of abandoned imaginary friends who now need homes.  It’s a 6 because I didn’t just really find it entertaining.   

                    5/10 Read Between the Lions

  I didn’t recognize this show at all until I watched an episode of it with my niece and nephew.  But this show right here, I was like when was I so young?   You all might not remember until you’ve watched an episode of it, but it’s the one when that puppet man is getting rhyming words out of his long pants.  His name was smarty pants.  Anyway, it’s a 5/10 because it was educational. 

                                                             

            

                                 

                               7/10   Oobi

                                                     

I really hope y’all remember this.  This show was so funny and cute as a child. Don’t ask me how I feel about it now because it be looking creepy but when I was a baby, I wanted to use my hands and be one of those characters so badly.  This brings me to those days during the Summer when I woke the whole family up pretending to be one of these arms.   The googly eyes though, look how they’re on the hands.  It’s so adorable.   It’s a 7/10 because it was really cutesy and now it’s kind of weird.   We watched people talking and moving their arms like they were their own individual person.   How? 

                    

                                 9/10 Jack’s Big Music Show      

                                                                           

 I’m sorry but this show made me cry so hard.  This is one of those memories that’s in the back of your head scratching the surface faintly.  I remembered this out of the blue one day and I could not think of the name.  I spent about 2 hours searching for different ways to find out the name, and I was getting angry because Google wasn’t googling.   When I finally figured it out, I got so sad watching the ending of the show.  You should all go watch it, the lights turning off in the treehouse were making my heart ache.  

 

                             10/10 Tuff Puppy 

                             

   

  Tuff Puppy was the best.  The cat spy was awesome and inspiring to me as a younger girl.  I could just not believe it at all.  I was like, wow couldn’t believe it.  Then the episodes were comical and intriguing.  I watched one episode and remembered how the rat made me really like cheese but now I don’t obsess over it like I used to when I was younger.  But I appreciated how it started the phase of me enjoying cheese.  

                                 

                               

                   10/10 Ni Hao, Kai-Lan 

    I don’t have anything to say exactly about this, just that it was awesome. I remember the dragons looking more bigger and 4D, but I don’t know, maybe that’s just how it looked to mini me.  But the show was fun and pretty, it mostly gets a 10/10 because I don’t remember any bad aspects of the show. 

                                         

                 Honorable Mentions: 

                                              
                                                                                             
               

                                                                                                           

McCafferty Forever

I apologize in advance for another band recommendation post. I did this one last minute and I’ve been wanting to do this band for a while. 

McCafferty

McCafferty, founded by Nick Hartkop, is another Indie-Rock band that I’m obsessed with. They are somewhat notorious for breaking up though. Through my research I could never find a specific number, but I know for sure that they’ve gone through over two or three breakups, maybe more. 

With Nick Hartkop as the Guitarist. And fun fact most of their early songs were don’t by Nick with an acoustic guitar. I’m pretty sure he’s using more electric now, but he was really good on the acoustic. 

And I think it’s cool that his best friend and wife Emily Hartkop is on the bass. Throughout all the breakups of this band the two people who never left were Nick and Emily. 




“Beachboy” Released on Jan 1st, 2014
7/10

McCafferty’s album Beachboy has to be one of my favorite albums they’ve released. Nick is the vocalist in every one of their songs, to the best of my knowledge, And I love his lyrics. Their style seems unique and new. But over all their albums the same voice with the same emotions stays the same. Which I really enjoy. Nick’s voice is perfect for what he’s singing. While researching this band, I could never find proof of who writes the lyrics of the band, but I’m more than sure its Nick.  

Beachboy has over 10 songs, lasting exactly 29m and 9s. I can’t stress how meaningful the lyrics for his songs are. They all seem like personal stories, and I think that’s what makes them so extraordinary. In my opinion, the best types of song come from personal experiences of Growing up, grief and friends.
And that’s exactly what McCafferty sings about in almost every song. 






“Sum of All Fears” released on June 24th, 2018
(26/33)

This album is just, amazing. There are about 33 songs on this playlist lasting over, 1 hour 36 minutes. And the lyrics for this album are really good. But this isn’t the album that hits the hardest. I’ll get to that in a moment. I forgot to mention but that little number under the album, the (26/33) that’s the rank, The way I rank albums is the total of liked songs over the total amount of songs.



Now lets get to the most meaningful album they’ve released. 
With a total of just 8 songs. stretching just under 30 minutes. 
One of their recent albums. 

“McCafferty Forever” released on Aug 7th, 2023
5/8

This album is one of the most emotional in my opinion. 
There’s a song that really hits home with me which is “Yours, Mine, Hours.”
Personally, one of my favorite songs. (I have a long list of Favorite things)
If you plan on checking out the song the part at the time stamp 2:00-3:00 is something that hits hard, I don’t have the words to explain it the best I can, but it’s just some amazing lyrics. 
But this album is really amazing, if you were to check out any of these albums, I’d recommend this one.  (or the beachboy album)

Overall McCafferty is a homerun. One of my top three bands, and I’d Highly Recommend them. And I apologize for doing another band post. I’ll try and think of something different for next week’s post. Keep it new. 
Or not because I’ve been wanting to do a post about another band I’ve had in mind, called “Violent Dawn”. They’re a small band with less than 100 listeners a month. So, I wanted to give them what little publicity I can give them.

 

 

Roots in your Halloween Monsters (Mummies and Werewolve)

From vampires to witches, demons to ghosts, Halloween is packed with all sorts of spooky stuff. All of which is old as probably not Hell, but yknow, a couple hundred years old. Or just like 90 years. But hey, I got a little bit of information and free time to kill.

The mummy is much older than Halloween, the earliest ones dated back to around 5,000 years, and then raided by British archaeologists and stored somewhere in a museum. So how did they become staples of Halloween? They don’t have major costumes, there’s no name attached to them, and yet they’re one of the main centerpieces of Halloween monsters.
So how did it get there? I actually looked into it (just for this blog specifically.)
Excerpted from, Halloween Monsters: Mummies, Abigail Owen states, “In 1903 Bram Stoker (of Dracula fame), wrote The Jewel of the Seven Stars, a first-person narrative of a young man pulled into an archaeologist’s plot to revive Queen Tera, an ancient Egyptian mummy.”


So 1903 was the first major example of a mummy being a monster. Cool! It also aligns with a lot of pop culture depictions of mummies, of a guy in an explorer’s hat exploring a mummy’s crypt.


29 years later, the Mummy idea would be face greater publicity with the release of the 1932 movie The Mummy by Boris Karloff where a team of British archaeologists discover the mummified remains of an ancient Egyptian prince. It actually looks like it has a lot more plot than that, the mummy returns to life by reading his “ancient scroll aloud” and disguises himself as a richman ala Frankenstein, but the production was a hit, thus solidifying mummies into the Halloween monster lexicon and most probably where you got it from, Halloween merchandise. (I swear there’s gotta be a catalog for these things.)

(Sheet) Ghosts

Now, I am not able to succinctly pin down “ghosts.” I can tell you that much, especially in a six hundred word cap. However the idea of sheet ghosts are interesting. This one’s a bit macabre, but you’re literary art students.

Before coffins, the dead were wrapped in burial shrouds, or from poorer families, their sheets from their deathbed. This goes back to the 1300s, where ghosts were often skeletons draped in their shrouds. Ghosts were thus often connotated of being draped or clothed in white, so much so people were mistaken for a ghost or shot at because of it.

This depiction of ghosts made its way into the theatre and Victorian photography, where often to imitate ghosts people were dressed in white garbs from head to toe. By now, bedsheet ghosts were less of a scary omen and more of a laugh, but what really changed and cemented that idea was children’s programming. I’ve actually seen a couple of these myself, The Lonesome Ghosts from the Mickey Mouse cartoons, Scooby Doo and The Phantom Ghost, along with Casper. By now, ghosts are more prominently portrayed as clips. Little pieces of the living that are no longer preserved and will disappear in front of you.

So yeah!

sources are Halloween Monsters: Mummies by Abigail Owen and Why Ghosts Wear White Sheets (And Other Spectral Silliness) by Rae Alexandra

An excerpt

Like most weeks, going through any possible options I might have for my blog I was stuck with not much to talk about. I keep finding that I never have the right things happen to me for this, or I guess “bloggable” things. Everything that has been happening with me lately has either been too personal to blog about, or not interesting enough. I can never find that good balance between the two, it can feel like such a chore sometimes so for this week I decided to share a small excerpt from a project that I am working on.

 

Grease plagued the nostrils of the two EMT workers when they entered Jolly’s that evening. It was a staple of Bennings, one of the only fast food places that they had. Having a minute population of just over four-thousand people, Bennings was invisible in the eyes of big corporations, and they were aware of it. 

 

“Alright sir that will be $11.94,” the teenage cashier stammered, attempting to speak in a chipper tone. 

“Bullshit $11.94, it was $7.50 when I came into this dump last week.” the EMT sputtered.

 

“Sir, with all due respect I am seventeen years old. I barely have any control in my own job, let alone what your two burgers cost you. You can take it or leave it, I really couldn’t care less.”

 

“You-” the EMT swiftly being interrupted by his coworker.

 

“We don’t have time for this Otto”

 

“John I swear to god if you don’t-”

 

“I’ll pay,” John said, pulling out a crumpled twenty dollar bill from his jacket pocket.This wasn’t the first time that John had to stop one of Otto’s confrontations from progressing. However John with a towering stature of 6 ‘3 and wide muscular build it wouldn’t have been a very grueling task to break up and situation that might’ve progressed.  

 

“Would you like to sign up for our awards program, or round up to help contribute to Saint Patricks Children’s Hospita-” He was interrupted by a now apparent scowl that sat on Otto’s face. The wrinkles on his forehead speaking words louder than anything that left the confines of his lips.

The ringing of the cash register echoed throughout the empty establishment, Jolly’s was what John would categorize as a “graveyard restaurant.” An establishment littered with black and white photos of Jolly’s from decades prior as an attempt to hold on to its former glory. Now just a shell of itself.  

If it wasn’t for the constant humming of rain upon the tin roof the restaurant would have been plagued with silence. “Hey Joe can I get two number fives ple-.” The cashier, interrupted with a sudden boom of thunder, fell back. It was as if the thunder had cascaded down from the clouds and behind the counter. It was an odd type of thunder, it wasn’t the kind of thunder that one would hear at the start of a storm, but the kind that one might hear at its climax. 

 

“Anything new and exciting going on?” John asked casually as he began to flip through his phone. Its small black stature sitting insignificantly within the confines of John’s large palm. However all that this statement was met with was a dismissive chuckle on Otto’s behalf.



The storm continued to roar outside as both men awkwardly scooted into the red and white synthetic leather booth. Jolly’s windows began to vibrate, water cascading down its unwashed exterior, the clouds that were once a light gray now became to stain a deep ashen gray. The sun had begun its descent as they waited impatiently for their food to arrive. 



The Squirrel on Cooper Hall

 

Run.

Keep running.

Don’t stop.

Don’t slip.

You will die.

 

It was balanced precariously, so high up I could barely see it. The only thing protecting it from the jaws of certain death was a sliver of brick that appeared so fragile up against the unconquerable mountain of a building it clung to the side of.

Run, I thought to it, wishing so desperately that it could hear me. Get to safety, hurry! Don’t stop! You might lose your balance!

Onlookers watched in awe. It looked so tiny all the way up there, grasping on for dear life to that tiny space, completely alone, facing mortal danger with the valiance of a warrior. Will he make it? Will he not? Our jaws dropped as it raced along the edge, wobbling and shaking, just millimeters away from toppling over the side where it would land, splattered and broken on the ground. It was so close to the roof – so, so close – it was almost there safely at last when it stepped on its foot, faltering at the last second. My eyes slammed shut. I prepared to hear its body hit the pavement with a horrifying thud. It would come any second now: the tragic, grotesque end of a life… but it didn’t. There was silence.

I peeked through the little cracks in my eyelids, preparing for the worst. However, there it stood, tall and proud and alive, staring down at us from the roof.

The squirrel had made it safely up and across the treacherous walls of Cooper Hall.

In my personal life, I’ve had to learn a thing or two about bravery (emphasis on “had to”). I’ve been in some horrible situations. I’ve had to deal with grief, and abuse, and mental health struggles, and horrible sickness around me… I’ve just been surrounded by fear for a very long time, so I’ve had to find a way to get through it. I’ve been proud of my bravery, but at the same time, I never really wanted to be brave. I always looked at adventurers (like the squirrel on Cooper Hall) facing danger and mystery for the sake of living, being brave and conquering their fears because they chose to, and I wondered if I’d ever be able to accomplish that.

One of the first times I had the choice to be brave was when I was deciding whether or not to apply to MSA. I was afraid. However, it was an adventure. It was intimidating, but I knew I could grow so much from it.

We will never know why that squirrel chose to climb that wall, despite how dangerous it was. But we can make up stories about it. I think that the squirrel had been in tree after tree, running from danger, sticking to routine… but one day, it realized that if it really wanted to, it could climb higher. It was scary. It was intimidating. However, it was also a choice.

I think we can all learn from that squirrel. Maybe our lives are too stagnant. Maybe there’s something more we can accomplish. Although safety is important, risk is, as well. I think that every once in a while, we should climb a little higher… not for survival, but for the sole purpose of just reaching a little closer to the sun. 

Lizard on the Wall

 

I searched for ten minutes the other day to find the lizard on the wall.

It was hiding secretly within the shadows in the corner.

I heard tales of its colorful scales and its mysterious demeanor. Word swirled ‘round like a cyclone from the top of the class and circled its way down to me. I, grey with storm, immediately sought desperately for a pop of color. I scoured the molding, the stairs, the brick, and finally found my way to it. It was perfect – as all creatures wish they could be. No scars, no blemishes, no dull shade – only brightness and smooth, perfectly cut shape. There was a line that sliced like a spine down its back, and its eyes were outlined in a beautiful baby blue. To me, it was of equal quintessence of beauty as a sunset. Both looked like paintings —  somewhat shifts from reality, not quite captured by anything but pigment and brush because real life doesn’t suit them quite well – real life is not perfect enough to portray their essence.

It was a bad day when I found the lizard. Somehow, however, it seemed to get better after my discovery. I snapped a picture, and after it was secured in my camera role (like medicine locked safely away in a cupboard), I continued about my day happily. It’s strange to me how a touch of vivid green can turn the dullest palette a little bit brighter.

Some of you asked if I would write about the lizard in my blog. What lesson could I turn this little reptile into? What analogy would I use this time? I was wondering this myself until a student came up behind me, just as I was reaching to pick the creature up.

“Ew! Don’t touch it! It’s gross!”

Needless to say, I was flabbergasted. Gross? Really? That stunning, perfectly formed reptile could be perceived as gross?? It was simply preposterous. I refused to believe it. It was impossible, and foolish, and inconceivable. But it got me thinking. How many times have I looked in the mirror and been absolutely disgusted with what I saw? How many times have I locked the door of my room, doing anything to prevent me being seen? How many times have I covered my face in makeup or a mask and hugged my arms tight to my chest so that no one would look at me or touch me?

Beauty is so subjective. That lizard, to me, was perfect. It was vivid, and immaculate, and gorgeous. But right in front of my eyes, I witnessed someone look at that same perfect lizard and exclaim in disgust. It seems ridiculous, right? The two starkly different reactions? The same applies to beauty standards in society. First of all, the cultural definition of “beauty” shifts and changes so fast that by the time you’ve worked to achieve one set of standards, they’re already irrelevant. Second, the definition of “beauty” might be completely different from one individual to another, regardless of the cultural norm at the time. Somebody is always going to think you’re mid, or ugly, or not all that. But at the same time, there’s always going to be someone who sees you in the way I saw the lizard: flawless and magnificent. How will you choose to see yourself?

(Credits to Amelia for finding the lizard first <3)

The Get Along T-shirt

Yes, you read the title right. The Get-Along t-shirt. You may be wondering, “What on earth is a Get-Along t-shirt” or you may be thinking “omg omg omg I had one of those!!!!” Well for those of you who already know what it is or had one growing up, sit back and enjoy the ride. For those of you who think I’m insane, (I probably am) let me explain.

Growing up, my brother and I were always arguing and getting into fights. These fights were usually physical fights. While my brother was big and buff, I was (as my dad likes to call me) a little shrimp. My brother was almost always about 12 inches taller than me so if he even breathed on me I would fall over. I quickly learned about this and took this to my advantage. If he even so much as touched me, I would start screaming and crying just to make sure he would get in trouble. I was a nightmare of a younger sister. Basically I would go up to my brother, screaming and kicking him and he couldn’t do anything about it or else he would get in trouble. (And I always wondered why he hated me.)

I remember one year for Christmas my brother and I got an xbox 360 to share and we were both so excited. The thing is, on top of that, I also got an iPad mini and my brother didn’t. My brother didn’t think this was fair. Our parents said this was because he was most likely always going to be using the xbox and I was never going to get a chance to use it (which turned out to be true) but he didn’t like that answer.

After Christmas was over and the Xbox was set up, my brother was stuck to it like glue. He would never let me have a turn. There were games which were split screen but he wouldn’t let me play with him as he claimed “It makes the game harder to play and you’re bad at the game.” Years later I’ve found out he was right about the game making it harder when it’s on split screen mode but he could have set it to east mode.

After getting us an xbox and iPad to distract ourselves from each other didn’t work, my mom resorted to other measures. My brother and I had been in the kitchen arguing about the xbox, yet again. Our mom had had enough and went upstairs to our dads wardrobe and got one of his shirts and brought it back downstairs and made both of us get in it. She called it the get along T-shirt. My brother hated the idea while I thought it was the funniest thing ever. I had to stand on my toes and on a stool just to peek my eyes out of the neck of the shirt while my brother stood there wearing it normally.

When all else fails, clothing might just work. And remember kids, don’t drive you mother insane like I did to mine.

Creating Aliens! (In Which I Spend An Entire Post Rambling About Fictional Alien Creation)

(A photo of the Orion Nebula)

ALIENS! A icon of my brainrot; I absolutely adore aliens. While I do believe aliens exist somewhere out in the cosmos, I don’t believe in any alien conspiracy theories (nor do I want to hear about them.) The aliens I’m interested in are the ones of fiction. 

 I love, love, love, creating my own species and reading the lore of what others have made. From everything I’ve seen, alien creation has practically no boundaries. Do you want to create an alien that doesn’t incorporate science, or even breaks science? You can do that! The universe is endless- who knows what kind of materials are out there, and what they can do? You want an alien that is built off of science? Also great! That’s absolutely amazing! You want an alien that’s humanoid? Despite what others say, that’s also totally possible! Convergent evolution is already a thing on earth itself! You want an alien that looks other worldly? GO FOR IT! You can make aliens that live in the sea, underground, in the sky, in deadly forests, in hot lava, space itself, and more. Your imagination can run rampant, and you should let it! There’s tons of theories and ideas you can use as well. Life has evolved to be small, so what if a sentient lifeform evolved to be small? What would microscopic societies look like? Alien lifeforms could be made out of some new substance that doesn’t appear alive to humans. What could arise from encountering a species like that? You also don’t need to stick to ‘bad’ aliens. Aliens can be anything! Good, bad, neutral, whatever! You can even add the societal complexity humanity has to them! I, personally, really love aliens that are just as excited to discover humanity as humanity is to discover them. Positive interactions! My favorite book of all time, Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir, has my favorite depiction of aliens ever. Man, I love that book. 

We’ve only scratched the surface of alien creation, though. When you build aliens, you can start with a completely blank canvas. Its up to you to decide what their planet looks like, what lives on that planet, the properties of that planet, how it effects the aliens, and vice versa. You can write history from the first evolution all the way to the space age. You get to create an entirely new culture, society, language, religion, and more. Think about how your aliens properties might change how they live! If they’re hyper-intelligent, what would their school systems look like? Would they hold knowledge over strength, strength over knowledge, or maybe something else? If nature is a part of a major religion, would your aliens be more hesitant to destroy it? What are the beauty standards? Are there even beauty standards? A fun exercise for this is to take human customs and reverse them. What if having eye contact is rude? What if houseguests are supposed to cook dinner instead of the host? What if you’re supposed to be loud instead of quiet?  

…Okay, this is probably too many questions. I’ll ask one last question, and its very important. The question is: Why? Its fun making all of these concepts, but its always good to have a reason for why your aliens are the way they are. If you have a concept you really like but can’t find an answer to “Why,” don’t be afraid to use that concept for another alien species! I personally like to put all my species in the same universe. Here are some final parting tips for creating aliens, but you can do anything!  

  • Research different kinds of planets. Gas giants, tidally locked planets, etc. 
  • Research how the moon and sun effect planets, along with how their distances, sizes, and quantities might change things. 
  • Look at pictures of deep sea creatures and bugs. If aliens like that aren’t your vibe, go look at pictures of random animals that interest you! 
  • Research adaptations for different climates.  
  • Think about mundane things you do and think about how other creatures might do it. (Making beds, cooking, playing instruments, etc.) 

(A photo of the Pillars of Creation)