Could emotions be a side effect of humanity?  

I know it sounds kind of dumb. But hear me out. Psychopaths have the ability to feel basic emotions most likely. I wonder if because they are so detached from their humanity it won’t allow them to experience emotions complex enough for their “character” to undergo change.  

I’m not saying you must be a psychopath to experience not having complex emotions though. I think people who go through severe trauma or have an event that pushes them to become void of the ability to think humanely. I wonder if there’s a psychologist that thought about this though, I’m kind of too lazy to go research myself.  

I think my favorite part of this theory is that it’s such an interesting concept. I wonder if it’s like running into a burning building to save someone would going in the building if your actions/ thoughts are emotions based or would you stay outside safely? How do they determine if something is sad? Do they feel God? Do they have the ability to truly hate someone? Could they ever change? 

I wonder if not having emotions could cause someone to lose faith? God invokes the spirit and moves the heart but what if someone can’t use that heart? What if there is no way for that person to feel God?  would sin even be sin? Obviously, they could know right from wrong, but what determines rights from wrong? How that specific outcome is likely to make someone, or something feel right? 

I wonder if it causes them to fade from existence in a way. Humans yearn and search for someone to make them un-lonely. That’s why we have friends, right? Do people void of emotions feel that need? Do they feel the need to be around someone? Could they make that choice to put someone’s life over theirs if they are in that position? 

I wonder if they have the ability to hate? Could they genuinely hate someone, it seems like they would not be able to. They’d probably find themselves rationalizing actions from others that they didn’t like or actions that harmed them. Maybe they could try to copy those human bases traits, but will they be there or is it like watching a movie paly out from behind your eyes? You always son stage performing for Somone. 

What is normal for them? Is having emotions normal? Or would it not be? Do they think emotions limit the capablties of other people? If the president was void of emotions, what would he do? He can’t feel that love for humanity so why not tear it all down?  

These are questions I had while I wrote this because it genuinely baffles me! I feel like many people would love to not have emotions, but they kind of come pre-installed. From the moment most of us are born were treated with love and compassion, yet it’s probably harder to reciprocate that feeling because your brain won’t let you. 

Conscious enough to not feel. 

I lay begging God, Surrendering my life to him. 

 I Cannot feel. 

I cannot cry anymore  

I cannot be angry  

I cannot love 

I cannot be normal. 

 

I think being conscious is a curse. 

 

Jesus gave sight to a blind man. 

Is it bad I want him to take mines? 

Not my eyes. Just the seeing part. 

 

I think every thought, I read every line, 

 I play every part and none at the same time. 

Yet I find myself fading. 

 

I am my own punishment.  

I am my own sin. 

Constantly grasping at normalcy as if I could hold it. 

 

A revolving door of thoughts. 

 

In. 

Out. 

In. 

Out. 

 

I am the tree bearing forbidden fruit.  

Knowledge growing rotten in my head. 

 

I wonder if he made whole me sometimes. 

Maybe the clay had gone bad. 

Maybe the soil was already lost to sin. 

 

Good truly cannot exist without its darker reflection.  

 

I find myself trapped in flesh. 

 stapled and taped with the curse of knowing. 

Knowing what I say.  

Knowing what I do.  

Knowing what I could have done differently. 

 

I wonder if I hurt so those around me shall not. 

 

I am jealous of those blissfully unaware. 

 

Those who can feel, cry, love, hate, be normal. 

 

I wish so badly to blame him for my pain  

Yet I only find the mirror igniting rage. 

Not because I am ugly. 

because I know myself. 

 

I am man.