Disability and Media

Here today we talk about disability, how it is portrayed in the media, and why we should care.

While July is the official Disability Awareness Month, disabilities affect people all months of year, and we need to talk about it. Especially the representation in the media of people with different disabilities. Or shall I say, the lack thereof.

The disabled Flag represents the different types of disabilities and shows pride and support for those with disabilities.

Disabilities are varied and wide spectrum. We have broad categories for them, being physical, sensory, developmental, and psychiatric. Physical disabilities affect your mobility or motor functions. Cerebral Palsy, spinal injuries, and arthritis are common examples of physical disabilities. Developmental disabilities, like intellectual disability or fetal alcohol spectrum disorders, affect cognitive functions, especially at a younger age. Psychiatric disorders are psychological conditions, like PTSD or bipolar or OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). Though these can get tricky, as the way they debilitate a person is not very well documented or taken seriously. Neurological disabilities affect the brain and nervous system, like a traumatic brain injury. Neurodevelopmental disabilities are commonly represented by ADHD and ADD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and attention deficit disorder). Finally, we have sensory and learning disabilities. Sensory disorders consist of a disability that affects some sort of sense, such as blindness or deafness. Learning disorders, like dyslexia (reading difficulties) and dyscalculia (math difficulties) affect your learning process.

We’d think that, if we have so many different types of disabilities and disorders, we would have a better understanding of and acceptance towards disabled people. Unfortunately, due to negative stereotypes and ableist history, we still have so many misconceptions about those who are disabled. For example, not everyone who uses a wheelchair is paraplegic. While the statistics are inconclusive currently, it has been reported that up to 1/3 of wheelchair users are ambulatory. This means they still can move and walk with less assistance. Another misconception is that people who use canes or walkers are old, or that you can only develop physical disabilities later in life. Disabilities can be developed at any time in one’s life, and mobility aids can be needed at any point. So why do we depict disabilities as this rare, scary, and sad thing?

That’s another thing. The extreme depictions of disabilities. Either people who are disabled are depicted as hopeless and wish they weren’t disabled, or they’re a superhero and an inspiration. We are normal people. We have our good days, and our bad ones. We shouldn’t be reduced to one emotion because we are people with a wide and diverse variety of emotions. Or the extremities of psychiatric disorders. People with schizophrenia are considered dangerous and “insane”, people with bipolar disorder are “unstable and something you should fear”, or OCD is being the “neat freak”. These depictions are useless at best and harmful at worst because these disorders are a spectrum. We do not all depict disabilities the same way, just as no two people are alike. We need to start depicting disabled people and characters as what they are: people.

It also sucks, as someone who uses mobility aids, to have little to no accessibility in your daily life. Schools have barely any accommodation, and if they do have the occasional wheelchair ramp, it’s on the other side of the school. So, it gets to a point where it feels like the 1950s, where folks with mobility issues need to be “hidden from public view”. But with all systemic issues, the rights and support for people with disabilities are still new. The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) was signed in 1990 by President Bush. That’s only 34 years ago. So, architecture and medical information are still outdated and unavailable to people with disabilities. That’s also not to mention the discrimination against queer, afab, and people of color in disability spaces.

Disability affects about 1 in 6 people. Whether it be in the mind, body, or both, we all deserve respect and accommodation for our disabilities. We deserve to feel safe and comfortable in our bodies and shouldn’t be treated like we’re incompetent or a burden. Disabled people are still people and deserve to access quality medical care. So what could you do to help people around you with disabilities? The best thing you can do is ask what help they need. It can be nice to help them put something away or offer advice, but you need to always ask what would make the disabled person feel most welcome. If you’re holding events, please try to make them accessible. If someone has sensory disorders, make sure to add accommodations so they can experience everything too. I think people often think we want “special treatment”, but in reality, we want what everyone else wants: to be able to function and enjoy life.

Just remember that, if someone around you is disabled, treat them with respect and kindness. Treat others how you want to be treated, and please, for the love of God, do not push wheelchairs without asking.

Welcome Back to the show

Hello again literary, blog readers, aliens or whatever you are I’m Quentin or Que you may remember me from a variety of blogs where I either review shows/ anime or give book reviews or my favorite thing which is telling all you lovely people my favorite characters and why i like them so much and I thought for my first senior blog I would reintroduce show reviews and the crowd goes wild! HAAAA.

Yes, you’re very excited and ready to start but first I just want to thank everyone that comments under my blog post and if you all have any suggestions, please feel free to recommend them below. For the first blog i will Be doing it on “This Is Us”

Now I know most of you have probably seen this or seen clips of it from Tik Tok, but I wouldn’t be a good umm what am I actually i guess I’m a blogger… any who this story is about 3 siblings “Kate”, “Randell”, and “Kevin” and their messed up adulthood and childhood and how their childhood influenced their adulthood. Each episode is dedicated to a member of the family and their family/relationships and a memory from their childhood that explains why their like that. Now I decided to make this a little bit different from how I things before did first of for this blog i will be explain the premise of the first episodes then I will be explaining each character and how I feel about them Blah Blah Blah.

1×1 “Pilot”

So, we start the showoff at a very wild point I can’t really say more about it all I can say is that

it was his birthday “the father” and she was dancing for him “mother” until suddenly her water breaks during the dancing and of course they are rushed to the hospital but the doctor that they were werking with during the pregnacy appendix burst so they switched doctors to this guy.

i forgot his name so we will just call him dr that seems appropriate but anyway they send her to surgery and extracted the babies there are 3 but one of them got subtracted if u catch my drift. Now the couple were planning for 3 babies not two but 3 and the father said he was going to get that third baby and he decided to go baby shopping at the Nicu and low and behold there it was a baby that was left at a fire station.

i will give you 50$ if you can guess who’s adopted but no cheating.

if u guessed the middle, you are so very wrong of course it’s the black baby

but this is how we are introduced to the Big three

Randall the black one Kate the girl Kevin the words I’m not allowed to say

I’m not goanna explain everything because I don’t wanna but I will explain everyone’s conflict but before that on the first episode it is everyone birthday since their twins plus Randall.

Kate

So, when we first see Kate when can see Shes insecure about her weight which is obvious for the sticky notes around the house that tells her not to eat her birthday cake or something else that i can quite make out but it’s there. We then see her go to a weight loss meeting where she basically disregards everyone else’s problems which you will be seeing a lot of like a lot but at least we get to meet Toby

who is the most obvious person ever and he is head over heels over that she devils. The start talking and get into the talking stage of any romance they even go on a date, but Kate is pulled away from the date and starts to berate toby with her problems in which he offers a solution, but she doesn’t take it instead her brother makes the decision for her and fires her. and that’s really it for her.

Kevin

the most spoiled person ever Kevin. We start off the story to him sleeping with two women at the same time which follows him going through a Mid-life Crisis in which he goes to the tv show set he is in and have a breakdown curing the director and the audience in the break down. oh, I forgot to mention he is an actor on the show Mananny. Obviously, he gets fired and when he realized that he got fired he goes to Kate, they talk it out blah blah he decides to go to the company that hired him so he can get out of his contract but that’s next episode. the episode ends in him firing Kate so she can finally live her life and not be so dependent on him. I hate this guy

Randall

We start off with him selling weather which is confusing but go off. While he is working, he tracks down his birthfather and contemplates confronting him, so he tells his wife at their daughter’s soccer game

she says he should do it, and he goes and does it but I will say that Randall doesn’t contact his siblings at all this episode. i love this family and their dynamics especially Beth the wife and i would like Randall to but the actor is homophobic… so yeah.

Ok that’s the first episode in a nutshell i will catch you all on the next one peace.

Let’s Get to the Bloody Point.

Periods are a natural occurrence for 1.8 billion people. So why is it so stigmatized and repulsive? Let’s talk about that…

^{A discussion (well, rant) about feminine hygiene and the stigma around it.}

Periods. The natural occurrence of shedding the endometrium. It is reported that over 1.8 billion people menstruate monthly. So why is the discussion around this topic so stigmatized? Any and all reasons stem from one real reason: the hatred of people who were born with uteruses.

Let’s look back in time, turn back a few pages of the history book. One of the oldest written menstrual stigmas was in the Bible. Leviticus chapter 15, verses 19-33 states (in layman’s terms) that women, and anything they rest upon, become “unclean”. If menstrual blood touches anything, it too becomes unclean. This passage led to a constant mindset throughout male scholars in history that anyone who bled and everything around them was corrupt and dirty. An example of this mindset early on was from Pliny the Elder (AD70) that menstruation “is productive of the most monstrous effects”, that crops will “wither and die”, and bees “will forsake their hive if touched by a menstruous woman”. These quotes are disturbing to think about. Imagine how much abuse stemmed from these types of mindsets. Even in 1694, women were compared to cockatrices, mythical beasts that had venomous breath, all because they were bleeding (according to James McMath, M.D).

Alright, stepping forward some, let’s look at the 20th and 21st centuries. In 1950, Good Housekeeping (THE magazine for women), advertised sanitary towels as “So skillfully shaped not to look like a napkin box” and so “that the sharpest eyes couldn’t guess what’s inside the wrapping”. This, even in “modern ages”, made periods seem like something that people should be embarrassed about and ashamed of. A monthly function to regulate your body is shameful. Wow. What about the 2020 Tampax criticism, where they advertised tampons that “open silently for full discretion”? More recent studies in the medical history of menstruation contain euphemisms such as “the curse”, “dirty red”, and more (from as recent as 1975) contribute to the unclean stigma of periods and feminine hygiene.

Now, we talked mostly about women throughout history, but they aren’t the only people who bleed monthly. AFAB people, or assigned female at birth, struggle with these stigmas and frequent transphobia due to this natural phenomenon. Period discussions and products are tailored for women. Pad wrappers that say “Strong Like a Girl” create an isolating barrier for transgender and gender non-conforming folks. When we also look at the prices of menstrual products, things get worse. The average price for 36 tampons can easily cost $12 a box. The federal wage is $7.25 an hour. So why does this hit trans individuals harder? The 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey stated that transgender people are twice as likely to live in poverty and three times as likely to be unemployed compared to the general population. Now, ten years later, times for the working class have been ever harder. We also need to think about those who prefer gender-affirming bathrooms, such as a transgender male using the men’s room. They will rarely have access to period products when they’re needed most. Along with bathrooms, opening a crinkly, plastic wrapper in the men’s room can lead to a sense of fear and lack of safety, especially in a time when transphobia and violent hate crimes are rising.

Now, the bloody point of this article was centered around the menstrual hygiene stigma in the United States, but there is so much discrimination for people who bleed monthly across the world. There are also discussions about people not having certain healthcare rights due to the assumption “all women want to or should bear children”. There’s also discussion around other feminine reproductive issues, like the age for hysterectomies and abortion, or even the effects of birth control, or how the medical system is very anti-AFAB people. But that, my friends, is all we have time for today. I really hope this gave you a better perspective on menstrual hygiene and why it is so important. Please read the linked articles for more information if you can.

^{Articles used for reference:}

^{https://www.ama-assn.org/delivering-care/population-care/why-stigma-prevents-treating-menstrual-hygiene-essential}

^{https://magazine.publichealth.jhu.edu/2022/stigmas-toll-sexual-and-reproductive-health}

^{https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/transgender-men-pain-menstruation-more-just-physical-n1113961}

^{https://transequality.org/sites/default/files/docs/usts/USTS-Executive-Summary-Dec17.pdf}

^{https://theconversation.com/dirty-red-how-periods-have-been-stigmatised-through-history-to-the-modern-day-206967}

^{https://quod.lib.umich.edu/e/eebo2/B26427.0001.001?view=toc}

another fanfic draft i need to finish

So I was going through my fanfic drafts on google docs and realized I had some gold in there that I never finished. I want to finish these pieces, but I’m not sure where to go with them, and I’m also lazy. I thought I’d share a couple of drafts here and see how you all feel about it. Today, I’ll only be sharing one because it’s quite long, and it centers around Steve and Eddie from Stranger Things. There aren’t any spoilers exactly, but I wouldn’t read it if you’re worried about spoilers. Anyways, please enjoy and leave your thoughts and opinions below. If you enjoy, I have many more from many other fandoms, so just let me know.

—

Steve pulled into the gravel parking lot of the artillery store. The others in the van were quiet, hushed conversations dying out when they recognized where they finally were. Steve parked the large vehicle, let out a somber exhale, then turned his head to the group.

“We’re here.” He said as if they didn’t already know. None of their replies were verbal; only silent stares, as if waiting for Steve’s instructions.

“Let’s stick together while we’re in there, okay?” Nancy spoke up. “Just in case.”

Robin nodded, eyes glued to the floor while her foot bounced. Max went straight for the door, Lucas not far behind. Nancy and Erica followed them out. Robin finally looked up, locked on Steve’s motionless state.

“Aren’t you coming?” Robin couldn’t mask the fear bubbling in the back of her throat.

“Just give me a second.” Steve nodded toward the too-small bathroom placed haphazardly in the middle of the van. For safety and his own sanity, Eddie had crammed himself in there.

“I’ll stay.” Dustin butted in.

“Nuh-uh.” Steve stood, shaking his head. “You two- go. I’ll be fine.”

Dustin opened his mouth to argue but Robin stood. She looked at Dustin and nodded to the door before she took her leave. Dustin huffed once more, stubbornly rolled his eyes, then marched out to join everyone else.

Steve watched through the window as Robin explained the situation to Nancy. Nancy glanced up at him through the shuttered windows of the van, brows furrowed as if asking “Are you sure?” Steve nodded and the group left for the store. He waited until they’d all disappeared behind the large industrial doors. When they were truly alone, Steve spoke up.

“You can come out now.”

Silence. Steve walked over to one of the cushioned benches. He shut the window blinds behind him and stared at the bathroom door. It took about sixty seconds before the door creaked open. Eddie poked his head out like a cat sneaking around a corner. His dark, wide irises met Steve’s, searching for confirmation of his safety. A deer in headlights asking the driver if he could cross the road. Steve scooted over, making room for Eddie on the bench. Eddie stood silent behind the door.

“We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.” Steve toyed with the fraying fabric on Eddie’s vest. He twisted the string around his finger and pulled.

“Don’t-” Eddie took one step from the door before he froze. Steve glanced up. “Don’t do that.” He whispered and marched over to the bench.

Steve dropped the loose string. “Sorry.” He stared up at Eddie with a faint smile.

Eddie’s brows untightened and his sour expression began to waver. He sat down next to Steve. The somber silence resumed while Eddie drummed his fingers against his thighs, eyes sewn into the floor. Steve watched him, wondering if he should speak or just let the moment linger.

“You should be honored, y’know.” Eddie’s tone was serious, so Steve made a confused noise. “That I’m letting you wear that.” Eddie turned his head, clearly fighting back a smile.

“Really?” Steve asked, amused. “Is it like when a jock lets his girlfriend wear his lettermen?”

Eddie’s brows screwed up again and he looked away. “No, it’s different.”

“How so?” Steve leaned into the wall of the van, arms resting on the back cushion of the bench.

Eddie shook his head, knocking more hair into his face. “You wouldn’t get it.”

Steve scoffed. “Try me.”

Another bout of silence. Eddie’s foot drummed into the floor of the van. Steve rolled his neck back and forth. The muffled chorus of coarse breeze and chirping bird seeped into the metallic box they sat in. Eddie rubbed his left hand over his face. Steve watched the rings clank together. He wondered if they were cold metal, or if the heat from Eddie’s nervous body had made them warm. He wondered what they would feel like against his own skin.

“It’s… special.” Eddie dropped his hand.

“Huh?” Steve blinked, expression blank.

Eddie turned his head slightly and gestured noncommittally toward his vest. “All those pins-” He poked at one, the large W.A.S.P pin by the collar. “-they’re mementos; merchandise from concerts I’ve been to, shit I got at parties, gifts.”

Steve awkwardly bowed his head to look at the pins. He moved the vest around, trying to read the band names from upside down. Most were logos he recognized. AC/DC, Metallica, Judas Priest, Megadeath. Others with illegible fonts or symbols that meant nothing to Steve. As he moved the vest, one pin peaked out from under the folded collar and was noticeably different from the rest.

“What’s this?” Steve nudged up the collar and pointed at the pink triangular pin. Eddie’s wandering eyes met Steve’s for a moment, then froze when they recognized what he was pointing at.

“It’s, uh-” Eddie scratched hard at a spot behind his ear like a dog with fleas. “It’s a symbol- Nazi soldiers used it during the Holocaust to label people as queer. Terrible shit- but, uhm-” Eddie spun a strand of hair around his finger. Steve could see his hand trembling. “Y’know, over the years, it’s become a symbol for queer liberation. Silence equals death, y’know?”

“Oh,” Steve took a moment to think, rubbing the triangle pin beneath his thumb as he did. “That’s metal.”

Eddie’s wide doe eyes flashed toward him. The rest of his face was covered with a thick layer of hair that he held to his cheek. Steve met his gaze, silent and patient. Eddie swallowed dry, shuffled some hair behind his ear, and sat up.

“Yeah.” He agreed. “Very metal.”

Steve thought a moment more. He toyed with the collar flap.

“Why is it under here, though?” He dropped the fabric and it covered the pin. “It’s like you’re hiding it.”

Eddie scoffed, then noticed the confused look on Steve’s face and his smirk fell. “We live in a town that goes batshit when kids play a fucking fantasy game, why do you think?”

“Oh.” Steve scrunched his nose. “Right. Sorry.”

A small smile snuck over Eddie’s face. “‘s fine.” He stared at the collar of his vest for a moment, only somewhat losing focus in the tanned skin just past the jean fabric. Before his brain could process the signal, Eddie found his hand reaching out for the collar. He lifted the flap, slipped a hand behind the fabric, and unclasped the pin. He tried his best to not acknowledge how close his hand was to Steve’s pec.

Eddie slipped the triangle pin out of its hidden spot. “Sometimes I don’t hide it.” He tugged at the jean pocket, ignoring the feeling of Steve’s eyes memorizing his every move. “Like at concerts or bars…” Eddie pressed the pin’s needle back into the pocket’s fabric, then reached inside to reattach the backing. “…places where people don’t care who you wanna sleep with.” With the pin clasped once more, Eddie leaned back. He finally let himself meet Steve’s gaze.

Steve nodded, unsure of how or if he even should respond. Despite having nearly the same conversation about a year ago in a dingy mall bathroom with Robin, Steve still found himself unable to form a proper reply. In that moment, his speechlessness was different from that night in the mall. With Robin, conversations were easy. They were stupid and often nonsensical, but Steve understood her. He figured they shared the same neurons that most biological siblings did; they could speak a language that only the other could process. Eddie was on a whole different wavelength. Steve had maybe one or two conversations with him over the years. At a party, buying weed. At skull rock, smoking a blunt while Tommy paid for the weed.

“Your friend,” Eddie looked past Tommy and met Steve’s blown pupils. “he doesn’t talk much, does he?”

“He doesn’t need to.” Tommy slapped a bill into Eddie’s palm and shoved the plastic bag into his own pocket.

Eddie ignored him. “Harrignton , right?”

Steve nodded.

“D’you play any instruments?”

Steve shook his head.

Eddie stepped past Tommy, shoving his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. “If you ever wanna learn,” He stopped a foot or two from Steve. “my band’s lookin’ for a drummer-“

“He’s not interested.” Tommy marched over, grabbed Steve by the bicep, and yanked him back toward his car.

Even in those purely transactional conversations, Steve found himself tongue tied and pliant. He could blame his current silence on the topic of conversation, but Steve knew that wasn’t the issue. Eddie was a twenty-sided rubix cube to Steve. Despite his natural enthusiasm and grandiose emotions, Eddie was excruciatingly hard to read. Even if Steve thought he understood Eddie’s intended tone or reference, he still couldn’t rationalize the why. Steve had come to accept that some people, including Eddie, would do or say things for no apparent reason. That realization didn’t kill his curiosity whatsoever.

“Y’know-” Steve didn’t realize he was speaking until he heard his voice through the familiar silence. Eddie acknowledged him, curious eyes wide. Steve wanted to bite his tongue, but he let himself continue. “I keep thinking about how different I would be if I met certain people sooner. Like you and Dustin, even Robin, Max.” Steve ran a hand through his hair. “I was such a dick because I only hung out with assholes. I had all of these ideas about myself that just- none of it was true. My freshmen year, I could’ve told you where I was going to college, what I’d major in, who I’d marry, the names of all our kids.” Eddie leaned forward, nearly slipping from the bench as he held onto every word. Steve sighed. “Now I don’t know anything. I feel like a new person.”

Steve stared at his hands which laid limp over his lap. He chewed at his inner cheek, wondering if he should regret everything he’d just admitted.

“Sometimes…” Eddie spoke slowly, picking his words with seamstress precision. “…Sometimes that’s a good thing.”

“Yeah?” Steve lolled his head over to look at his friend.

“Yeah- I mean it might not feel like it.” Eddie crossed his arms and hunched back into the bench. “I mean, shit, sometimes it’s fucking scary. I know what you mean by feeling like a new person. Up until I was like, ten- eleven maybe- I was just an extension of my dad. I did everything he told me, taught me. It wasn’t until I started butting heads with him that I realized how fuckin’ awful he was. When I left to live with my uncle- sure I was happy but I was also lost, y’know? Everything I knew was poof, gone. I had to relearn everything about myself.”

“How?” Steve had sat up, now leaning closer to Eddie with piqued interest.

“It’s different for everybody.” Eddie shrugged. “I met new people, explored new things. It took years, but I found a community that made me feel-like-” Eddie placed a firm palm on his own chest. “-complete. Like I found all my puzzle pieces.”

For a moment, Steve didn’t react. He stared forward, eyes hooded and unreadable, focused on the hand that Eddie still had to his chest. Steve noticed the red, bruising knuckles and dried blood that stood out without bulky rings. A thick link chain hung loose around Eddie’s wrist. Steve watched as Eddie moved his hand and the chain slipped down under his sleeve.

“Bet that took years.” Steve slumped back against the wall.

“Sure,” Eddie pulled his legs up, sitting cross-legged on the bench. His knee hovered just over Steve’s thigh. “But it’s fuckin’ worth it, man. I’d do it all again if I had too. Better than livin’ as someone you’re not.”

Steve’s eyes were stuck to Eddie’s bent knee. It was clear he was intentionally holding it there, tensing all his muscles rather than letting his leg touch Steve’s. Without much thought, Steve moved his leg closer to Eddie’s. He wedged his thigh under the other’s knee.

“Doesn’t everyone do that, though?” Steve ignored how his movement made Eddie even more tense.

“Huh?” Eddie looked up from their overlapping limbs.

“Y’know,” Steve gestured lazily into the stale van air. “Sometimes you gotta ignore your passions to succeed in life.”

Eddie went silent for half a second, then broke out in a barking laugh. When Steve didn’t react the same, he composed himself.

“You’re serious?” Eddie let his legs relax. Steve nodded. “Jeez man- Who told you that?”

“I don’t know.” Steve shrugged limply. “I guess I told myself. Y’know, I wanted to do band before I started basketball-“

“What?” Eddie stifled another sharp laugh.

“Shut up.” Steve rolled his eyes but felt a grin tug at his cheek. “I wanted to be in the drumline. I thought that was badass when I was seven.”

“It is badass.” Eddie was beaming. “Why didn’t you?”

“My dad was a sports prodigy when he was in high school, he expected the same from me.” Steve brushed back his hair. “Signed me up for basketball, track, and swimming before I had a chance to argue.”

Eddie let out a dramatic gasp. “What a dick.”

“I don’t know,” Steve groaned. “It’s not like I didn’t want to do sports-“

“He should’ve asked.” Eddie was slowly inching closer as he bounced in his seat. His left leg was now pressed firmly into Steve’s thigh and he had turned a full one-eighty degrees to face him.

“What difference does it make? I would’ve said yes-“

“It’s the principle of it all.” Eddie thumped his shoulder and Steve finally met his eyes. “‘s fuckin’ disrespectful to make those desisions for you. You gotta have control of your own life man.”

Steve knocked his head back against the stiff metal wall. He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a sigh from deep in his chest. He heard Eddie snicker from behind his palm. Steve smirked.

“I don’t know, man.” Steve shook his head, eyes still closed. “I’m not an expert on stickin’ it to the man like you are.”
“I wasn’t always this smart.” Eddie sighed as if his extensive knowledge was a pure burden to him. “I had to learn the hard way.”

“Yeah,” Steve opened his eyes and leaned his head over to the other. “I don’t think I have the skills for that. I think I’m content on living my life according to everyone else around me.”

“You’re telling me you’d rather be miserable for the rest of your life than try to learn about yourself?” Eddie slapped the back of his hand into Steve’s chest. “That’s not the Harrignton I know.”

“Oh, yeah?” Steve found himself using the coy smirk, hooded eyes, and teasing tone he only pulled out when on a date. He decided to blame the slip up on momentary insanity. “Who’s this Harrignton you know so well?”

“The Harrignton I know would never back down from a challenge.” Eddie crossed his arms. “He’d run straight at it and get himself torn to pieces or beaten to a pulp in the process, but he’d get there. He wouldn’t give up, no matter how hard or uncomfortable it was.”

“He sounds like a cool guy.” Steve scoffed.

A soft smile slowly formed over Eddie’s face. “He’s cooler than he gives himself credit for, that for damn sure.” Steve cocked a brow. Eddie continued. “If I had to guess, he’s too busy worrying if everyone he cares about is happy, and doesn’t allow himself to be happy.”

“You my shrink now, Munson?” Steve looked away and rubbed a hand against his dry eyes.

“Nah,” Eddie shrugged. “Just a loser who knows a thing or two about feeling like shit.”

Steve wanted to argue, wanted to lie and say he felt fine. Totally, utterly, perfectly okay. Nothing about his secret-keeping, demon-fighting life was bothering him. Nothing at all to complain about. Not the friends he was constantly worried about losing. Not the sleepless nights he spent trying to scrub vivid memories from his hazy mind. Not the shitty dating cycle that made him feel like he’d never truly be loved. Not even the ex-girlfriend who symbolized a part of his life that he desperately wanted to return to. Because Steve Harrignton wasn’t afraid of change. He loved it, actually. Loved that he rarely saw his parents anymore. Loved that he slaved away at a retail job, rather than lurking the school halls with his loser friends. Loved the foreign buzzing feelings buried deep in his chest when he watched My Beautiful Laundrette with Robin. All good, Steve wanted to say, but he didn’t.

There was a sharp knock on the van door and Eddie sprung for the open bathroom. Before he could lock himself away, Nancy was holding the door open and ushering everyone inside. Steve stood and stepped out of everyone’s way. He and Eddie watched silently as the other members of their group filed bags and boxes into the van. When Robin entered, she shoved a small bag into Steve’s chest.

“Got you a shirt.” Her tone was sharp and she didn’t hover to talk. She slumped to the back of the van and sat down. Steve didn’t ask; he didn’t need to. They’d talk later. They always did.

Nancy closed the door once everyone was settled in. She was headed for the passenger’s seat when Steve found himself moving on autopilot.

“Hey, Nance.” He reached out an arm to stop her. She glanced up at him, confused. “Would you mind sitting in the back? I think Eddie was getting sore from cramming himself in that bathroom. I was gonna let him take shotgun.”

“Oh.” Nancy glanced over to Eddie, who stood behind Steve with furrowed brows. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

Eddie looked from the back of Steve’s head, to Nancy’s similarly confused expression. Steve turned his head to nod slightly at Eddie.

“Yeah, I guess.” Eddie nodded too, shifting his eyes back to Nancy. “It’s gettin’ dark. I think it’ll be fine.”

“Oh. Okay then.” Nancy glanced between them a couple more times before she turned on her heel and headed for the back.

Steve moved for the driver’s seat. When he sat down, he turned his head to find Eddie motionless behind him, watching intently. Steve patted the open passenger seat.

“C’mon man.” He nodded his head toward the seat. Eddie paused a moment more before he finally took one slow step, expecting Steve to revoke the offer before he sat down. Steve didn’t mention it. Instead, he shifted the gears and began to pull out of the lot. Eddie sat down quickly, wrapped the seat belt around his front, and pulled his knees to his chest.

Eddie figured he must’ve fallen asleep at some point on the drive. He remembered closing his eyes to a narrow forest road, surrounded by towering trees. When he looked out again, all he saw was dull grassy fields that stretched on for miles. The RV was parked and he could hear the shuffling of bodies moving behind him. He dropped his feet to the ground, stretched out his back, and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

“Hey there, sleepyhead.” Steve had walked back to the front of the van. He had put on the new shirt Robin got him, Eddie’s vest over it.

“Where are we?” Eddie glanced from Steve to the grassy flatland he could see through the window.

“We’re just taking a rest.” Steve leaned against the back of Eddie’s seat. “Gettin’ everything ready, y’know?”

“Eddie!” Dustin ran over the moment he realized Eddie was awake.

“Hey.” Eddie yawned through his greeting.

“Do you wanna help me make shields? We got these trash can lids and I’m thinking we stab nails through them-“

“Give him a second man, he just woke up.” Steve had put a firm hand on Dustin’s shoulder to quiet him.

Eddie smiled. “It’s fine man.” He turned to Dustin. “Sounds sick, I’ll be out in a minute.”

This is part 4 of the Luffy series

Arlong Park Arc

Okay so in the previous arc Nami left the crew and went to Arlong who’s basically her boss even though she’s treated as a slave. The crew are now left stranded on the Baratie until they see a rowboat but since Zoro is still recovering Luffy and Sanji leave to Arlong park to find Nami and get their ship back along with their navigator. As they are sailing, they encounter a sea cow which both Luffy and Sanji fight it, and they end up making it take them to the island. when they finally get to the island Zoro and johnny and Johnny tells them that Usopp had been stabbed by Nami but what had actually happened was that she stabbed her hand instead of stabbing her and she just pushed him into the ocean. Luffy shouts at Nami to come back but she chooses not to listen. The villagers start telling the group about namis past but Zoro and Luffy does not listen. A little while later we see that Nami is trying to stop the villagers from attacking arlong to the point where she starts stabbing herself with a knife trying to carve out the arlong symbol, but Luffy stops her.

He then gives her his straw-hat hat and leaves with the group to fight Arlong

in the end Luffy wins the fight between Arlong and the fishmen Pirates and Nami finally joins the Straw-hat Pirates

Lounge Town Arc

after the Battle between Luff and the Arlong pirates the crew heads to the last town before the grand line Lounge Town this is also where Roger the king of pirates was executed. As they are traveling there, we get to see Luffy first Bounty

The crew decides to stop there for supplies. the crew splits up and Luffy goes to the place where the former king of pirates was beheaded where he is then met by Buggy the Clown and Alvida (first pirate he beat) the put him in the execution alter to behead him but lighting strikes his sword and the pirates see it as a sign but all this fighting draws the attention of smoker and the marines who try to capture Luffy. Just as Luffy is beaten by Smoker since he had a sea stone pick which deactivates Devil fruit users Abilities and makes them weak a mysterious man grabs Smoker and lets Luffy get away

the crew gets back together and escape Lounge town and head towards the grand line

guess what cured my writers block…

guys, can you guess?
Story pin image
you’re right. it was the compelling relationship between to male characters with depressing backstories from a koren television show that recently came out with it’s second season. anyways, here’s a draft of the first chapter of a fanfic i recently started. it follows the plot of squid game (specifically folowing thanos and namgyu’s characters…), expect the main difference is there is no drug use. i think both thanos and namgyu would be really compelling/more compelling characters if they were sober during squid game, so im using this fic to explore that idea. this first chapter is just an introduction to that idea, but if you guys enjoy this, there will be more. or you can hunt down my ao3 account lol.
also this has not been beta read and im dyslexic so if there are any spelling errors, just ignore them thank you.

trigger warning for implied suicide attempt, reference drug use/addiction, and general mature themes.

EPISODE 00 – Playing with Fate

On the North end of the Hangang bridge, Choi Su-bong stood with a cross-shaped locket in his hand. He had taken it off of his neck and let it sit limp in the palm of his hand as he held it out over the railing. The lingering high that still clouded his mind told him to close his fist and shove the locket back in his pocket. The longer he stood there, the more Su-bong could feel himself sobering up. His sober mind made his hand tremble, daring him to throw the necklace in the river and then jump in after it.

Su-bong glanced past the necklace, down to the dark blue of the Han river. Even as the sunset blackened out the sky, the river was a starkly different shade of black. It dominated the darkness, hiding beneath secrets that no man had ever lived to tell. Su-bong found himself pulled toward that secretive pit. With the state his life was in, he figured diving into the endless void below him was the only productive way to drown his sorrows. There was no point in driving himself into more debt to pay for drugs when death is the strongest drug of them all.

“Sir.”

Su-bong felt a strong hand grab onto his shoulder, pulling him back into the present moment. He jumped at the sudden movement and the necklace in his palm slipped from his grip. He clasped down onto what he hoped was the chain, but as he wiped his head back to his hand, the locket was nowhere to be seen.

“Shit.”

“I’m sorry, did I startle you?” The stranger removed his hand from Su-bong’s shoulder, sliding it into the pocket of his slacks.

Su-bong took a moment to acknowledge the strange man. He was dressed nicer than anyone had any business being at this time of night. In his other hand, the man held a small briefcase. Su-bong figured it couldn’t hold much more than a laptop and some books, if that. He gave the man another once-over, brows furrowed.

“I didn’t mean to alarm you.” The man continued. “I simply came to make you an offer.”

“Tch,” Su-bong rolled his eyes and turned away from the man. “I’m not interested, dude.”

“Is there a reason you haven’t jumped yet?”

Su-bong wiped his head around again. “The fuck did you just say?”

The man held his hands up with a coy smile. “Perhaps you’re waiting for someone to come change your mind, hmm? Is that it?”

“You don’t know shit about me, man.” Su-bong pressed two fingers against the man’s chest and pushed his back.

“I know you’re different from most of the people I talk with.” The man raised his briefcase, withdrew his hand from his pocket, and opened the case.

Faintly illuminated by the flickering lamp posts, Su-bong found himself staring down at stacks of won and two sets of ddakji tiles. Su-bong stared blankly at the cash. He knew the won in the suitcase couldn’t even pay off ten percent of his debt. Unless he could pay off all his debt at once, Su-bong knew he’d end up spending the money on drugs. And as much as he didn’t want to admit it, the drugs were simply postponing his inevitable fate at the bottom of the Han river.

“I know that this means little to nothing to you.” The man shut the suitcase and lowered it. “You wouldn’t be standing here if you cared about a couple thousand won.”

“What’s your point?” Su-bong rubbed a hand over his face.

“What if I told you that there was a way you could make billions of won simply by playing childhood games, such as ddakji.”

Su-bong scoffed. “I’d say you’re crazier than me, bro.”

The man smiled and reached into the breast pocket of his suit jacket. He pulled out a rectangular business card and held it out. Su-bong stared down at the brown card and the three simple shapes that were printed on the top.

“Just call the number on the back.” The man maintained eye contact, still smiling in a way that made Su-bong’s stomach turn.

Su-bong took the card. He flipped it over and, sure enough, there was a number on the back. He glanced up at the man once more, still unsure.

“You’re serious?”

“Very.” The man straightened out the front of his suit jacket, squared his shoulders, then stepped back. “That is all. Have a good night.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Su-bong didn’t put much emphasis behind the farewell, more focused on the vague card in his hand.

He flipped the card between his fingers. The simple design left much to the imagination, but regardless of whether or not the strange man was telling the truth, this was definitely a second option that Su-bong now had to consider. He could either drop the card and proceed with the fate he assumed was set in stone, or he could call the number on the back of the brown rectangle and play a game with fate.

The longer Su-bong stared down at the nondescript card, the more curious he grew. A fresh start was what he needed. If he could pay off his debt, he’d change his whole life around. He’d never indulge in any of his vices ever again. He’d use any leftover cash he had to buy his mother a nice house in the countryside. He wouldn’t expect her to take him back in, but he’d do anything in his power to give her a comfortable life in her old age. Maybe he’d go back to school, study business and settle into a corporate job like his mom always wanted. All of that sounded better than spending the rest of eternity at the base of the Han river, while his poor mother wondered what she did to raise such a worthless brat.

Su-bong rubbed a hand over his face again. He could feel his brain pulsing against the sides of his skull, as if trying to break open and spill down his face. He squeezed his eyes shut and swore under his breath. He needed a drink, a pill, anything. All he had was a stupid business card and the vague promise of billions. Su-bong groaned, shoved the card in his pocket, then turned back toward the Dongjak district.

Elden Ring Lore (what I understand)

Ok since I keep running out of ideas i decided to make a new series one where I at least know most of the stuff by heart. I have about 500 hours on Elden ring by playing it multiple times and if anyone plays the game after reading through this blog its completely worth it.

The Origin of Elden Ring

Ok so this story starts off with this being called the greater will. Now they never actually specify how the greater will came about but I imagine it came about like the big bang but I’m getting off topic so there is this thing called the greater will that sent down the Elden ring with isn’t like the hobbits wring but instead a tree to bless the realms in between where the character you make resides. Now the greater will chose Queen Marika (you will be hearing her a lot in the game) as a vessel of the Elden ring now the Edlen ring with the power to give people the blessing of the grace (will talk about that later) has the power to change reality. with that power Marika removes death. Yep, she removes Death so now no one can die granting eternal life to everything this action led to the rise of the golden order (Basically the government but less annoying) which is a religion dedicated to her.

this is Queen Marika (The Eternal)

Now let’s move on to her family her first husband was a guy called Godfrey who was then named the first Elden lord and was deemed the most powerful for some time. Marika bore 3 children Godwyn (think of Baldur from Asgardian Mythology) Morgot and Mogh

Godfrey

Godwyn-middle, Mogh -left Moorgot right-

Godwyn started the golden Lineage which further drove the Golden order. Now his brothers as you can see, they are very different. they are omens and the Golden Order hated the omen there were even a set of people that had a career of killing omen, so Marika tossed them into her kingdom’s sewers. Godfrey and Godwyn opposed this decsion so Godfrey was casted out of the kingdom and lost the title of Elden lord. Godwyn was not punished since he was still a child during this. The game doesn’t exactly say but we can assume the Godwyn, and his army died to the monsters outside the realms between.

Later on Marika takes in a new “Partner” this longed hair red man who appeared out of nowhere. Now he was even more powerful than Godwin and was at equal strength to that of Marika who mind you was blessed by the Elden ring. they soon had 2 children Maleina and Miquella

Miquella -left Maleina-right

But you see Leyndell (Marika’s kingdom) had a problem you see there was this other kingdom called Raya Lucaria that had study the stars and magic that could become a threat to Radagon (Marika’s husband) was sent to demolish everything, but you see the Full Moon Princess said “I’ll stop attacking your kingdom but only if you marry me. Which he promptly did and they had 3 children Ranni, Rykard, Radhan

Radhan, Ranni, Rykard

Radagon then went back to his kingdom leaving the queen alone and heart broken. Now years like years later Ranni devised a plan see she didn’t want to be anyone’s puppet, so she plotted to kill Godwyn and take control of the Elden Ring so she hired the only people that could actually kill someone, and they ambushed and killed Godwyn

but she didn’t expect that when he died the Elden ring would shatter and go everywhere. Now each one of the demigods took a piece of it and tried to wait each other out so that they could finally become Elden lord.

I’ll be talking about bosses next.

See you later gators!

Rick And Morty :)

Rick and Morty is a show about a kid and his grandfather going on adventures doing all sorts of wacky thing. for this blog I’m going to be rating the character which aren’t a lot.

1.Morty

The main character of this franchise is a prepubescent boy who has half his mind on work and the other half on his crush Jessica. the reason he is my favorite character is because he brings realism to the show but can show bravery for his family. By the way does anyone else feel bad for the little guy. it always seems like no one wants him except for rick who also treats him like a servant.

2. Space Beth

Space Beth rather or not if she is the clone or not the clone (Debatable) is a freedom fighter for Alien injustice. She asked rick to clone her because she was tired of her mundane life and needed to explore the galaxy. She’s basically a cooler version of Rick who like father like daughter has many imperfections such as empathy and very questionable tastes.

Ver questionable tastes. Taking Self-love to a whole new level.

3. Rick Sanchez

The other half of Morty and a pain in the bum for the rest of the galaxy I present to you Rick Sanchez the man that has fornicated with planets and entire colonies at once. Rick Sanchez became Rick his wife and daughter were killed by an alternate version of himself Rick prime. Burden by guilt for the death of his family he explores the galaxy for the man that killed him. Which took him decades but recently he was able to kill him and get revenge, but he still has a hole in his chest that will never be filled. Hopefully his grandson can.

4. Beth Smith

Daughter of Rick Sanches, Wife of Jerry smith, Mother of Morty and Summer smith AND sole provider of the smith family (jerry a bum). Beth is a horse surgeon and a killer with psychopathic umm urges

she’s also an acholic not the best combination but neither is this family. she hates her father but can help loving him just so that he won’t leave her again (daddy issues) her father loves her as well, but he knows he can’t be that father to her since she is just another versions of his dead daughter.

5. Summer Smith

Summer Smith’s sister of Morty Smith, Daughter of Jerry and Beth Smith, Granddaughter of Rick Sanchez and Mother of Naruto Smith. there isn’t much to say about her to be honest. she the typical teenager stereotype that most old people think. she’s a homicidal manic to so plus?

Call Me By Your Name Review

*Warning: Spoilers Ahead*

Disclaimer: This is my review of the Call Me By Your Name through its film and script, not the book. Credit to authors and director mentioned below.

The movie Call Me By Your Name takes place in the Summer of 1983, “somewhere in Northern Italy.” Oliver is a foreign exchange student who comes to live and study under Professor Perlman for the summer. The professor’s son, Elio, is a young, bright boy who loves to dance kinda funny.

The film follows the complicated relationship of Elio and Oliver who begin to bond incredulously. What begins as simple infatuation evolves into insatiable desire.

One of the biggest things this movie shows is how stellar character interaction can be for ultimate audience satisfaction.

It must be talked about! See? Elio agrees. 🙂

For starters, Call Me By Your Name does an incredible job at utilizing indirect dialogue. There are too many moments to keep track of, but perhaps one of the best to mention is when Elio is expressing to Oliver how he feels about him.

Elio never just comes out and says, “I like you.” He talks to Oliver in a certain way where he beats around the bush with his language, and Oliver follows along talking in a similar fashion.

It just makes sense. It’s the 80s and society was in a different place, especially with the topic of sexuality in public, as they are in during this conversation. It also keeps the audience figuring out the plot themselves rather than simply having it laid out for them. Here is the scene from the film.

This is only one of many scenes that showcase this indirect style of dialogue that courses through the film’s structure.

A picture from the above mentioned scene.

There are also many subtle notions that are easy to be overlooked but help the storyline. One of these instances when Oliver is eating a poached egg for the first time. He struggles at first and ruins his first egg, but after he learns he devours the egg.

Elio’s mother, Annella, suggests he have another.

Oliver responds with the line, “I know myself. If I have three, I’ll have a fourth, and then more.”

The script elaborates after this line by writing, “ELIO has never heard someone Oliver’s age say, I know myself. It’s somewhat intimidating. He lowers his eyes.”

This highlights how early on the power dynamic Oliver and Elio struggled with in the beginning of the film began. I imagined it perhaps started later on when the two were more vocally catty.

Perhaps I am reading too much into it. For me though, upon reading the script I have noticed more spots that could have easily been overlooked watching the film, whereas a viewer might only focus on the more obvious scenes shown.

Another powerful scene that deserves its own moment is probably toward the very end of the film. Elio’s father has a talk with Elio about their relationship, and it is very emotional. It adds all the closure you didn’t realize you and Elio needed by that point of the film. Here is the video and script for the scene.

This is actually very unique for a LGBTQIA+ film. For the gay male character to have such a supporting father is not a common thread of almost any gay films/shows. Besides the closure and diversity it delivers, this moment deepens the layers of the father’s character. It shows how insightful and observative he is, while also providing care for his son he knows is hurting. This scene hits the audience at an already rough point of the film, but it is vital.

Overall, I can only hope I did this movie the justice I feel it deserves. Call Me By Your Name has been such a great addition to cinema, and has phenomenal acting. Like writing aside, the actors/actresses serve.

What’s not to love about this movie? I invite you to go take a trip to Italy through the film and see for yourself (possibly again) what I’ve been geeking over for an entire blog post. You might just have a good time 🙂

Thank you to André Aciman for writing the book. Thank you to James Ivory for writing the screenplay. Thank you to Luca Guadagnino for directing the movie. You guys thankfully made this story come to life. Again, thank you so much. <3

Let’s All Go to New York City

A new show has taken over my life, Sex and the City. My brother got an HBO Max subscription recently and I thought I’d see what was on there. Low and behold I come across Sex and the City, and I think. I have always heard about this show throughout the gay community. I do need to stay cultured in my gay knowledge. Why not?

First night in. I binged almost the entire first season. What is it about this show? Four single, thirty-something aged women -with a love for cosmopolitans-tackle love in New York City. Sadly, I am not in New York City or a woman in my early thirties. One night’s dose of the show, and I’m already trying to write my blog like the main character’s, Carrie Bradshaw, writes her column for the New York Star.

I mean, the characters are great! First is Carrie…who always looks unimaginably pretty. It pains me when her character talks about being jealous of models. Really doesn’t do justice to the ego. So laid back too and just cool. She looks glamorous all the time, so what’s not to love?

Then there’s Samantha Jones. She is an iconic seductress of ‘The Big Apple.’ She is liberated and her ideology of life is just fabulous. I agree with most any advice she offers the friend group on their usual brunch out or at parties. The gays obviously would just love her. And I/we do!

Charlotte Goldenblatt. Her character is honestly so vanilla sometimes it’s annoying. She isn’t really as adventurous as the rest of the group, and her views are always just so like…ugh. I don’t like some things about her, but she can be a greattt friend and really supportive. She is someone who’ll come over when you call.

Finally there’s Miranda Hobbes. I like her confidence and willingness to not hold back. She is a lawyer, and sometimes she ca be a little uptight but we love her. I thought she was lesbian when I first saw her character, and then I was told she was in real life, but not on the show. Unless I just haven’t watched enough to see it yet, I hope they let her character be true to her. I get that actors act, and don’t always play roles that are them. But.. I don’t know..

Oh my gawd, this show just has great characters– set in a big, great place. I have no idea how I keep relating to it in so many ways, but I am. It’s only my fourth day on Sex and the City and I’m already on Season 3. I even got my brother hooked, and my mom re-watching it. If you’ve ever heard about it and wondered what the hype was about, like me, then go see. It’s such a killer sitcom that’s being brought back again for another season soon, so this is like the perfect opportunity to jump on the bandwagon.

Let’s all wanna go be single writers in New York City ! Let’s go ! ♥