Senior Literary – Page 10 – Literary Arts Blogspace

the importance of understanding impulsive vs. intrusive and why the “letting my intrusive thoughts win” trend is harmful

i’m sure at some point you’ve seen a video of someone acting out in a unpredictable way- most likely acting on an impulse that most ignore. you go to the comments and every single one says something along the lines of “letting my intrusive thoughts win.” you get a laugh; it’s just a harmless joke, right? what you see as a harmless joke is what people with ocd- like me- see as a kick to the face. if our intrusive thoughts were something harmless like that, i’m sure we’d be laughing too. when we try to explain to people the difference between impulsive vs. intrusive, they get hostile: offended even. then you have those who claim to be an english professor who blindly explain what intrusive “actually” means while idiotically ignoring the idea of a clinical term. people don’t take the differentiation seriously enough, and as someone who has had such crippling struggles with ocd and intrusive thoughts, i’m sick of it.

let’s talk about what “intrusive thoughts” actually are

intrusive thoughts can be defined as unwanted, distressing and repetitive thoughts that often go against your morals. these can include acting out towards people you love in violent or morally unacceptable ways. intrusive thoughts are not exclusive to people with ocd- but they are a common (and arguably the most debilitating) sign of the illness. they can make you question your own morals and convince yourself you actually want to act out on your thoughts. this is not the case. intrusive thoughts are the manifestation of your worst fears and the things that disturb you the most/go against your morals. someone who has intrusive thoughts about hurting themselves or hurting someone they love does not want to act out on those thoughts. actually, it means that they are incredibly disturbed by those thoughts and would most likely do anything to ensure they don’t happen- like acting out compulsions, another common sign of ocd. people who experience intrusive thoughts are not their thoughts, and their thoughts do not represent their urges or morals at all.

now that we know what intrusive thoughts are, what are impulsive thoughts?

impulsive thoughts are exactly what they sound like. they are thoughts of acting out on an impulse. an impulse is defined as a strong urge or desire to act on something. that is one of the main differences between impulsive vs. intrusive- an impulsive thought is something you have an urge/desire to act out on, an intrusive thought is a thought that is uncomfortable and more often than not disgusts you: it is something you would never want to act out on. impulsive thoughts could be something like wanting to cut your own hair at 2am even though you know you’d botch it, or the urge to grab and eat food you see in the fridge that isn’t yours. the difference is drastic, so why do people insist on using intrusive when they really mean impulsive? maybe it’s unwillingness to change, or maybe it’s pure disregard for mental health.

how is using “intrusive” when you mean “impulsive” harmful to others?

i first started getting intrusive thoughts when i was 14, and i was too scared to tell anyone about it. i thought everyone would think i was a horrible person and call me crazy- the one word no one with ocd wants to be called. if you use “intrusive” when you mean “impulsive,” it gives people the wrong idea about what intrusive thoughts actually are- so when people with genuine intrusive thoughts explain what they experience, others react in a negative and disgusted manner because they have this false idea that intrusive thoughts are harmless impulses that wouldn’t harm anyone in any serious way to act out on. this makes people with ocd feel crazy and misunderstood, and being understood is the most important thing when it comes to dealing with ocd. another thing is how people say they “let their intrusive thoughts win.” if someone with genuine intrusive thoughts “let them win,” they would be imprisoned or dead. telling someone with intrusive thoughts to “let them win” is disgusting and disrespectful, and it only showcases how uneducated you are.

now that we understand the difference and how using intrusive when we mean impulsive is harmful, where do we go from here?

as someone with ocd, when i see the misuse of the term “intrusive thoughts,” i educated immediately. you should too. if you see someone using the term intrusive incorrectly, you need to correct them and explain the severity of their mistake. if you ignore it and allow them to use the incorrect term, you are harming MILLIONS of people with ocd and worsening the mindset around genuine intrusive thoughts. it is not hard to switch “intrusive” to “impulsive.” if you are not willing to make that change, then you are the exact problem i have described in this blog. don’t be complacent. speak up when you see misinformation regarding ocd. don’t just let it happen- for all of our sakes.

a final note to everyone who has ocd and/or experiences intrusive thoughts

you are not your thoughts. that’s right, you. are. not. your. thoughts. there is nothing wrong with you and you are not alone. if you are someone i know reading this, just know that the only reason i wrote about this is because i experience it too. you are not alone. please come to me if you need help dealing with this crippling disease. i’ve struggled so that i can help others, and i will not hesitate to share this wisdom with you. it’s going to be okay. you’re going to be okay. everything is going to be okay<3.

a final note to everyone else

the best thing you can do to help is educating yourself on ocd and the difference between intrusive and impulsive. you can even start right here on the msa literary blog! my beautiful friend and former roommate emma stapp has many articles about ocd and i 100% recommend reading each one she has posted: they are beautifully written and so important.

here are additional resources about ocd and intrusive thoughts to learn from:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20354432

https://www.gatewayocd.com/intrusive-thoughts-ocd-symptoms-and-treatment/

https://ineffableliving.com/impulsive-vs-intrusive-thoughts/#:~:text=For%20example%2C%20if%20you%20are,mind%20without%20any%20apparent%20trigger.

https://elgatonews.com/2023/01/24/intrusive-thoughts-and-impulsive-thoughts-are-not-the-same/

https://owowlpost.com/5769/arts-entertainment/the-difference-between-intrusive-and-impulsive-thoughts/

i sincerely hope this blog helped you & inspired you to educate yourself on ocd. let’s come together and end the misconceptions about ocd and intrusive thoughts!<3

also please check out emma stapp’s article “ocd is not an adjective…”

I’m Back!

Hello friends, long time no see. How was your guys’ summer? Hopefully well. My summer was extremely fun! I loved hanging out with my friends, working, swimming and going on vacations, but that is not the point of this blog. Without further ado let’s get into the blog.

In the first blog of SENIOR YEAR (woohoo can you tell I’m excited?) I will be reading and analyzing A poem by the lovely, yet terrifying Edgar Allen Poe entitled “A Dream Within a Dream, using the Liz Lerman workshop method.

I’ll insert the poem here:

A Dream Within a Dream

By Edgar Allen Poe

Take this kiss upon the brow!

And, in parting from you now,

Thus, much let me avow–

You are not wrong, you deem

That my days have been a dream;

Yet if hope has flown away

In a night, or in a day,

In a vision, or in none,

Is it therefore the less gone?

All that we see or seem

Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar

Of a surf-tormented shore,

And I hold within my hand

Grains of the golden sand–

How few? Yet how they creep

Through my fingers to the deep,

While I weep—while I weep!

O God! Can I not grasp

Them with a tighter clasp?

O God! can I not save

One from the pitiless wave?

Is all that we see or seem

But a dream within a dream?

This poem is one of my favorite pieces by him. The piece was first published in 1849 which isn’t modern at all so the writing form and some of the language is drastically different than what is commonly used in the 2000’s. That’s a big part of why I love historical poets or authors in general. First, we will start off with statements of meaning. I love the tone of this story. He sounds so desperate, so eager yet still so vulnerable. There’s something he wants but his depth of emotions leaves him so unhinged that he’s unable to grasp it, so it leaves him wondering if it’s real life or a dream. I also enjoyed that he uses only one period (.) throughout the piece. It gives me the feeling that these are fast, intense and draining thoughts that must get out, therefore they all begin running together instead of calm, concise thoughts that conclude themselves.

He also references nature repeatedly in this poem when he talks about the shore in line 13 and the golden grained sand in line 15. He also mentions a pitiless wave in line 22 that seems overbearing in my opinion. He has a few words that are italicized in the piece which are “gone”, “All”, “One” “all”. Two of the words begin with a capital letter and two of them are all lowercase. I don’t really know why he did this, but my brain puts the words together as “all gone, all one.” I feel like he’s trying to express that everything he talks about in the poem is one “thing” or “being” but then he realizes it’s a dream and then it’s all gone when the dream perishes. At the end he cries out to God which means he has some form of religious belief and that he thinks that whatever higher power that he believes in can save him from this everlasting dream.

Well, in the name of Looney Tunes, that’s all 4 today folks. Thanks for reading my blog, see you next month. Byeeee.

Benefits to reading diverse genres

Hi. Back to blogging. Over the summer I did a lot more reading than writing. Everyone has their favorite genres including myself. I like horror, romance, and mystery books. Some people ONLY like their favorite genres. I wanted to talk about why reading more than just 1-3 genres can benefit us as writers. I see an extreme growth in my own writing because of the amount of reading I did over the summer. I dove into genres I thought I would absolutely hate like Sci-Fi, humor, action fiction, and even a couple biographies. It can offer a very large range of benefits for us as writers.

Reading different genres exposes you to different story telling formats, structures, and perspectives. Especially if you pick up a fantasy novel or Sci-Fi. Being exposed to these forces a creative stimulation for us to think outside of the box. It can broaden our creative thinking I would say. Writing isn’t always about emotion, though, it is some people’s favorite thing to add to writing. Reading books that explore more than you think inside a box is eye opening.

Reading a diverse genre can also broaden your perspective on writing. Think of it like this, each genre and novel offer you a unique lens for us to view the world through. Different genres can expose you to different cultures, time periods, and topics to write about. They can show you different ways to write about certain subjects. You can even get a new perspective on your favorite thing to write about. Maybe you write a horror story, but you read someone else’s horror story after. They may show you a whole different perspective on how to show fear in a story.

Now, you will also get to improve your own personal writing through exploring literature. You will get to read different tones, styles, voices, and narratives. All of which can improve your own writing skills. You will see how different genres employ different pacing, language, dialogue, and imagery. These are all very versatile as well. Once you apply them to your own writing, they don’t have to be exactly how the other novel used them. You make them your own as well. You can also make them engaging.

New genres can expand your vocabulary by miles. Diverse genres have new words, phrases, and terms specific to their genre. You would be able to enrich your vocabulary, which will enable you to communicate more effectively in your writing. I noticed that my recent flash fiction and poem I wrote had a very wide vocabulary I never saw in my previous writing.

You will improve your adaptability as a writer. If you are skilled in multiple genres, you will be able to adapt to new projects. This is extremely handy for us because we are literary students. We get new projects very often that aren’t in our comfort zones, or we may dislike the prompt. If you’re experienced in more than one genre your adaptability to these projects will be improved. The dynamic of your work can improve as well because of your ability to draw from different genres.

Different genres evoke different emotions in the characters in the story. When you read a horror novel you read the characters in fear, romance novels show them in love, and a scientist in a Sci-Fi novel may show them focused. You would experience a wide spectrum of emotion and many new ways to describe it. Every author describes these emotions differently as well as every genre. Reading new authors more often and more genres will show you so many new ways to have your readers feel the same and connect more with your characters.

Empathy also plays a large role. If you read different genres you will read about different characters from so many backgrounds and situations. This helps you develop empathy which will give you a broader understanding of human nature. How will this help your own writing though? This will enrich the authenticity of your characters.

I hope my blog may help some of you who are in writers block or just like to read in general. From my own personal experiences, I recommend reading many novels on every inch of the spectrum.

Hello Again:)

So you mean to tell me that I’m already a senior and that I’ll be graduating in a few months? No, I don’t believe you. I swear it felt like it was yesterday when I was sitting in my eighth grade math class listening to my teacher waste twenty minutes talking about something that had nothing to do with math.

Well, even though now it feels like it all went by really quickly, I did cherish every moment I have spent in MSA so far. Since being here, I’ve learned to be a lot more self confident and I have had an amazing opportunity to further my talent as an artist. I know it sounds cheesy, but I swear it’s true.

I know that this year promises to be the busiest as we prepare for events like preview day, portfolio day, showcases, graduation, not to mention applying for colleges and scholarships, but I have a feeling that it’ll be a great year.

Since we’ll only be posting once a month, I think it’ll be good for me to use this as just something to use to write about something silly, random, fun, etc. Like last year, I posted a lot about Marvel, my love for reading, other nerd stuff. I’ll probably be doing a lot of that again and maybe just to let off some steam.

For this go-round, I’ll talk about a new favorite movie that recently came out on Netflix: “Nimona”

Nimona - Netflix Movie - Where To Watch

I absolutely love this movie and have watched it two or three times already. I love the animation style, Nimona’s chaotic energy, the themes that play out throughout this movie, everything about it is just chef’s kiss.

If you are unfamiliar with the movie or haven’t watched it, Nimona is about a girl(Nimona) who has the ability to shapeshift and because of this, she is seen as a monster in the society. Ballister is a knight that was framed for unaliving the queen, so he’s seen as another villain. At first, Nimona just wants to be the villain’s sidekick until she learns that Ballister is innocent. The two work together to clear Ballister’s name in a society that is closed off from the rest of the world by a wall because they have lived in fear of outside “monsters” for a thousand years.

I’m not gonna lie, this movie made me laugh and cry and. I watched it after the first few previews before I’d start to see too many spoiler clips. I honestly wasn’t expecting a lot from it, just for it to be something cute and fun to watch, and I am not picky when it comes to movies, I think the only two genres that I don’t care that much for are rom-coms and anime(please don’t come for me). So Nimona was up my alley. I loved that Ballister played a fatherly role to Nimona(even though she’s a thousand years old, but she still has the chaotic energy of a teenager). I loved seeing the relationship between these two progress through the movie. And I absolutely loved both of their character development.

Nimona' Review: This Was Worth the Wait Netflix releases official trailer for graphic novel adaptation 'Nimona' starring Riz Ahmed, Eugene Lee Yang

If you haven’t seen this movie and you love to watch fun, animated movies with a lot of good, deep themes, I highly recommend watching it. Here’s one of my favorite scenes<3

A Somewhat Gracious, Sort-of Grateful Goodbye :)

Well, here we are. The dreaded cap and gown are close enough to touch, and the pollen is coating the sidewalks on the days without the infamous April showers. The end of the year is upon us, and with it, the end of life as we seniors know it. Our time at MSA is bringing it’s Twilight years to an end, and I figured that warranted one final return to the blog world.

Firstly, I am sorry for my extended absence. To say that my senior year has been chaotic is the understatement of a lifetime, and that’s coming from someone who had the junior year that I did, so you know it’s saying something. I have done so much growing this year in so many ways that I don’t even recognize myself, and I couldn’t be happier about that. I am looking so forward to getting to know this new me, and I thought that should be recorded.

Truthfully, I’ve avoided writing this blog for quite some time. The infamous “goodbye blog” has been on my mind since I read Lauren’s at the beginning of junior year. But the idea of actually sitting down to write mine brought me so much sadness. Writing this meant that it was real, that it was truly almost over. I avoided the blog when I accepting scholarships, on Awards Day, at Prom, at my senior showcase, through all the big milestones. But I couldn’t make it go away. I cannot escape goodbyes. So, I may as well say them with as much grace as I can.

I’d like to wish the most complicated goodbye to the most convoluted place I’ve ever been. MSA, for better or worse, was the first home I ever knew. It was the place where I first found people that not only loved me for who I was, but who I would become. The first place that allowed me the opportunity (and the catalyst) to grow into someone that I would be proud to meet in the mirror today. MSA was the place that I discovered who I was. It was the place where I finally found, or rather learned how to create a reflection I was proud to meet in the mirror every day. It is, in every way that matters, the origin of me.

Granted, it wasn’t always the happiest of beginnings. MSA has been the sight of some of the most taxing, challenging, heart wrenching emotional battles of my life. I have known heartbreak and strife here like I have not anywhere else in my life, and I have had more than my fair share of experiences. MSA has broken me completely down more times than I can ever count, and it has never been gentle about it. But it has always built me back up into someone better.

If you would have told me when I first got here that the platinum haired hopeless romantic gay boy in skinny jeans that walked in on New Student Day would graduate a gender-nonconforming, emotionally mature, mentally aware, self-loving, kind, brown-haired enby, I would have thought you were absolutely insane. I would not recognize who I am today, and I could not be more thankful for that fact. Who I am today is someone who’s beauty was beyond the imagination of who I was when I walked on this campus for the first time, and I cannot fathom something more miraculous.

This place and the people in it, in every way, good, bad, and messy, have changed me so completely that I quite literally cannot imagine the path my life would be on if I had not come to this place. Who I was is gone, and who I am is better than they could ever have imagined being, and I am so grateful for that fact.

So, a thank you to everyone I’ve met here. Whether we hated each other or were the best of friends, whether we spoke once or every day, whether you didn’t even know my favorite color of if you know my deepest, darkest secrets: thank you. Thank you for the part you played, however big or small, in the wonder of helping me becoming who I am. Thank you for helping me learn to live and love my life.

And to anyone who reads this, from my fellow soon-to-be graduates to the juniors who will take our place next year, and even those who will come years after me and find this blog on an old, dusty webpage in the twilight years of the literary program, my words of wisdom to you are this:

Embrace everything about this place. There will be good, there will be bad, there will be beauty, there will be ugliness, all of it to degrees you could not even imagine, much less survive. Don’t let that scare you away. This place has the potential to grow you into someone you could not even imagine being. It can hold some of the most beautiful, pivotal, formative, miraculous experiences of your life if you let it. Don’t miss your chance to change, and don’t be afraid to become whoever you want. That’s what this place is for.

Love each other, remember your kindness, look forward to your changes, and remember to say hello to the ghosts of seniors past when you’re walking to your classes. We all leave a piece of ourselves here. Don’t be afraid to leave yours.

With all the love I have in my heart to each and every one of you,

Goodbye.

-Love, Elliot <3

World Building Project pt.16

Tensions were high. The Chitin Empire bolstered their border world’s patrols, with no less than 50,000 soldiers per planet. Even long-held dogmas were swept aside in the face of the postatons rising aggression. After the Night of Red Petals, the centuries-old bans on buboes and black ash storks participating in joint armed forces operations were lifted, and their enlistment became commonplace. While this migration of people had its own negative effects on the empire’s workforce, the cost seemed well worth the risk. Little did they know however that in only two years the postatons control would fall at the hands of their citizens, and no interstellar war would be necessary. In fact, only two battles were ever fought in that time of militarism.

One at the starward end of the empire where a miscommunication between two infantry regiments caused them to open fire on one another, and the battle of scales in the border world of Mattri, which will be the subject of this article.

Prior to the Chitin Empires’ claim to the backwater planet of Mattri, a small colony of lilarianads settled on the planet. Though the wider Lilarianad Federation made no claims to the planet due to the colony’s minuscule size and isolated position, the colony itself (as most lilarianads do) guarded their new home with an untamed fervor. For a long time, the colony went without contact with the greater universe and had not yet been made aware of the rising tensions or the Federation’s new policies which withdrew themselves from foreign affairs. So it comes as no surprise that when Chitin troops landed looking ready for a fight, it would be a fight they would get.

It was a short, but bloody battle. Though the Chiten troops had superior weapons and numbers, outmanning the defenders 4/1, the lilarianads fought with a ferocity the attackers had yet been ignorant of. This is reflected in the losses of each side, while the lilarianads lost roughly 6,200 soldiers the Chitin troops lost 29,100.

Above is a scene in which a surviving chitin soldier depicts the loss of their squad mate. Their squad was composed of 6 individuals, and only suffered one casualty. The group surrounds their fallen comrade, and an abstract symbol of religious iconography is shown dripping from their blood. Despite the societal prejudice against buboes and black ash storks, the three in the drawing (Two buboes on the left and the stork on the right) are allowed to openly grieve. There is a common stereotype that buboes cannibalize and use corpses in dark magic, and the touch of a stork is seen as poisonous due to their nocuous discharge. Yet, the buboes are allowed to kneel in reverence, and a hand of comfort from the squad’s stork rests on the head of the squad’s sibilusian.

I can only imagine that while in the grips of heartache, such intolerance is irrelevant. And maybe it will stay irrelevant.

Soundtrack Outros to Say Goodbye

Hello everyone and welcome to my blog. Look at how far we have come. We have gone through music, movies, characters, books, and everything else under the sun. It has all come to a conclusion with this final blog post. We all know that the ending song of any film’s soundtrack is the most important; it’s what you’ll always remember. So, in order to conclude this year’s soundtrack I’ve decided to list an outro song for each of the people that have made an impact on me this year. I love you all!

Cain – Mary on a Cross by Ghost

Cain, my dear roommate, thank you for being one of the coolest people that I have ever known. You never fail to make me smile (or make me wanna hit you). I don’t know where I would be today without you. These two years being your friend have been the best. You are such a happy soul and you are so talented. I am already so proud of you for all that you’ve done, but I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for you. So, for your outro, it was a very easy decision. Mary on a Cross by Ghost. It was the first song that I showed you from them and one that sparked a whole new era for you. I hope when you hear this song from now on you think of me, one of your bestest buds.

Erin – Angeles (Live) by Elliott Smith

Erin, you just might be the human equivalent of a Sony Walkman. When I met you I immediately knew that you would grow to be one of my favorite people and one of the people that kept me sane throughout the year. You are so incredibly smart, passionate, and just freaking cool. Dude, you wouldn’t believe how hard it was to pick an outro for you. We have so many memories with so many different songs. I was going to pick a slipknot song or one that we both had a huge love for, but instead, I wanted to choose one song that reminds me of you. Your soundtrack finale is: Angeles – The Live Version by Elliott Smith because it’s your favorite and you have played it live for me so many times. I was never not impressed. I love you and I can’t wait to see what you become!

Emma – Talk to Me by Stevie Nicks

Emma, it’s really hard to describe how much you have impacted my life over these two years we have spent together. I never thought I would meet someone who gets me the way that you do! You have opened my eyes to so many great pieces of art (Scully & Mulder/Joel & Clem) and you always made it hard not to be happy around you. You are one of the strongest, most creative people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I bet you already knew this, but picking your outro was super hard because listening to music is something that we do together often. I was considering A Case of You by Joni Mitchell, Rooms on Fire by Stevie Nicks, the theme song from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and even the Wishing Tree song from South Park. While those are all significant options, I found myself drawn to Talk to Me by Stevie Nicks because of how much the song means to you and now how whenever I hear it I think of you. I also know how much Stevie in general means to you, so I had to do what had to be done. Anyways, I am so honored to be able to call you one of my best friends.

My Goodbye – Learning To Fly by Pink Floyd

Here we are once again. When I think of the ending of this chapter, this installment of my life I think about the youthful desire to break free from the constraints of life and live on your own terms. Although I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t living on my own terms, this song beautifully encapsulates the feelings of an end but also a beginning. I can picture it as the screen fades in and as it fades back to black. My soundtrack outro song is Learning to Fly by Pink Floyd.

All of this nice talk coming from me is odd, so I’ll have to end this one on a short message. “In case I don’t see you… good afternoon, good evening, and good night!”

my favorite endings

for the last time ever…hello, blog. bittersweet, i know. attempting to not be overly sentimental in this post, i’ve decided to stick with my tradition of writing about media. in honor of this chapter of my life coming to a close, i’ve decided to write about some of my favorite endings in tv shows and movies. spoilers included and in no particular order.

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

i love that the ending of this movie is so ambiguous. to me, it’s a happy ending, but i’ve heard many say that it’s sad. ultimately, after their relationship is put through the wringer several times, joel and clementine decide to give it another try. i like the ending because it leaves us with the possibility of the two of them ending up together. personally, i think their love will definitely withstand the test of time. if you ask me, they’re together to this day, in an apartment full of potato people and at least one really creative kid.

This contains an image of: Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders

wild things

this movie has several of the craziest plot twists of anything i’ve ever seen. there are twists and turns at every single corner. my favorite, though, has got to be the very end. just when we think the two sleezy guys have gotten away with it, suzy comes out of nowhere and reclaims the victory. wild things is a story of total corruption and scandal, and it’s hard to say who the good guys and bad guys are. however, i just can’t see an ending with neve campbell riding off into the sunset on a sailboat and not think that it’s perfectly fair and just.

scream 3

the original scream trilogy will always be my favorites of the franchise. it might be somewhat sappy, but i just love a happy ending, and i love that this was actually meant to be the closing of the franchise as a whole. as much as i’m grateful for the next three movies, i just adore the idea of things closing at the end of this one. the movie also features roman, who is the absolute best ghostface in the franchise in my (correct) opinion. it ends with dewey and gale (the best couple in the franchise) safe and happy, getting engaged. sidney is settled into a beautiful home with the perfect guy (played by patrick dempsey. it doesn’t get much better than that!). the only things that could make it better, for me, would be to have jennifer jolie survive and gale get rid of her horrifying bangs.

piggy

i just watched this movie for the first time, and, wow. the future for the horror genre is so bright, and i love to see it. i expected it to just be a typical revenge story, but it exceeded my expectations in every way. the twist at the end where she doesn’t actually harm the girls but frees them instead is just perfect. i was physically shocked by all the turns. i love the way she defended herself against the villain and how well it fit into the symbolism and tone that had been set up. she could’ve chosen to get revenge, but she chose peace and forgiveness, and what strength of character that took after the way she was treated to the very end. i especially love the twist on the whole “getting the guy” trope when she leaves with pedro (my personal favorite character. such a sweet person.)

titanic

i simply have to include this one because upon a rewatch, i noticed something i had never seen before. i’ve seen this movie more times than my paternal grandfather, and i thought i pretty much knew everything about it, but i was wrong. i went and watched it for the first time in years at the anniversary re-showing in theatres back in february. i noticed, for the first time ever, that the old lady dies at the end. i never knew that! genuinely thought she just fell asleep. i watched it with a friend who had never seen it before, and they pointed it out, saying how sad and sweet it was that she died close to jack, right above the water where she lost him. it hit me like a freight train. what gorgeous writing. it’s like she grew so old and just refused to leave until she was warm in bed with him right there, just like they said. i also love the pictures in her room of her doing all those amazing things and traveling the world. rose is one of my favorite fictional characters, and it’s amazing to know that she lived a beautiful life.

mulholland dr.

i just watched this movie for the first time the other day, and there aren’t even words for how i feel about it. i’m actually revisiting this post just to add it to the list. i’ve loved david lynch since i was a preteen and have always wanted to watch this movie but never got around to it. best decision ever. i loved every moment, but the way the ending ties everything together is just beyond anything i’ve ever seen. talk about elevating a trope. generally, i think it-was-all-a-dream is played out and lazy, but this does it masterfully and spins it on its head (i’d expect nothing less from david). betty/diana is such a well-written character that i still feel bad for her losing rita/camila, even if it was of her own doing. i immediately had to watch and read analyses of this movie, and if that’s not a sign that it’s something special, i don’t know what is.

so, for the very last time…goodbye, blog. special thanks to clinnesha sibley and dr. alexis for getting me into blogging and to my classmates for inspiring me with their work. so long!

Why is a Blog?

So, at the beginning of my Junior year at MSA, I wrote a blog about, well, blogs. Specifically, I wanted to discuss what exactly a blog was. The answer that I had come across was that a blog was anything that the author decided it would be. I had decided on the answer spur of the moment, mostly due to the lack of desire to write a blog in the first place.

Now, three weeks away from graduation, I want to revisit this topic… but with a twist! Instead of asking “What is a blog?”, I’m going to talk about “Why is a blog?”. Well, I specifically want to talk about my feelings towards the act of blogging during my time at MSA.

To begin with, I would like to say that I still mostly agree with the answer I had to what a blog is. It is, indeed, whatever the author intends it to be. However, there is one thing that a blog has to be, no matter what. A blog absolutely must deliver a message of some kind. Not towards its readers, but towards the writers future self. It is a time capsule, a frozen piece of the author’s voice, their ideas, their likes and dislikes. So, anything, in theory, could technically qualify as a blog. A blog could be considered an important historical record, a glimpse into the past. So, my final answer to the question of what a blog is: history. It’s history, plain and simple.

Anyway, let’s move on to the main question. Why is a blog? Blogs are often thought of as public digi-diaries and can often be just that. Now, I’m not going to discuss anything like “author intent” while trying to answer this question. I want to talk specifically about my experience with the form.

So, I don’t like blogging. I think it’s a waste of time, especially when limited to the type of blogs that I was during my senior year. What was once absolute freedom became confining, and frankly quite exhausting. The importance of blogs is the freedom that they can give to people to simply write whatever is on their mind. So, when you take that away, the blog loses its value.

I do not speak for everyone when I say that, of course. This is more so my own unique perspective on it. I don’t think that I’ll be writing more blogs in the future once I’ve graduated, but you never know for sure. If I do, be sure to expect any imaginable absurdity. That way you’ll be prepared when I write about something even more absurd than that.

So here’s the climactic finale that you’ve been waiting for. Here’s the answer to the question. Here it is!

Q: Why is a blog?

A: I have absolutely no idea.

First Impressions: Things That Grow by Meredith Goldstein

I think I have a new favorite book.

Yeah, It may be too early in the novel to say that, but when you know you know lol. Everything about this book has completely captured my full attention. The characters, setting, and plot are exactly what I look for in a book. Each aspect of this story has brought me so much comfort, and I can’t seem to put it down.

Usually, I’d read only the first chapter of a book before doing a first impressions blog like this, but I couldn’t just stop at one chapter while reading this book. I am around halfway done with the story, though I’ll try to keep this analysis focused around my ideas and feelings at the beginning of the book.

Synopsis:

Lori Seltzer is a seventeen year old girl who lives with her Grandmother and is an avid writer. Her grandmother, and avid reader, is her biggest supporter.

When Lori’s grandmother suddenly passes away, she is faced with the aftermath of her complicated family. Her mother comes back to town and gives her the news that Lori will have to move in with her and her boyfriend, away from Lori’s Hometown and her best friend, Chris.

Desperate to stay as long as she can, Lori decides to follow her grandmother’s will and plan a series of road trips to spread her ashes along the most beautiful garden in the state. Along the way, Lori and her family encounter obstacles and try to navigate grieving while honoring the monarch of the family.

First Impressions:

I have to admit that I read more than a few chapters of this book before sitting down to write a blog. But every chapter I have read so far has been amazing.

In the first few chapters, I knew I would enjoy reading this book just by the POV and main character’s thoughts. It was really easy for me to connect myself to this character and her feelings. It is one of those books that you find yourself so lost in that you have to step away from for a while to detach from.

The characters are all so lovable, and Lori’s grandmother, although not alive, is such a big piece of this story. She is a huge part of the memories mentioned in the story, and you get to know her well in the very first chapters.

Lori’s best friend, Chris, is also a character that ends up playing a major role later in the book, but at the very beginning you follow Lori on her new journey with grief.

This book really has everything that a teen really wants. Its not completely superficial or only a romance story. This book deals with things heavier and so real to many that will read it.

Meredith Goldstein really went above and beyond with this story. She managed to make a story around grief that is not simply about the pain of it all, but about the journey and happiness that you can find amongst the pain.