questions i shouldn’t ask

people would rather you be sad 

than bitter. i suppose they

find that easier

 

because at least when

you’re sad, 

it’s only you,

and your contemplation of

suicide

isn’t their fault

 

bitterness forces them to look in the mirror

and god forbid them having 

to see them selves. 

 

Bukowski was a wonderful poet

who became bitter 

following his sadness. 

 

the people liked him better before

when he slit his wrists, 

tried to suffocate himself with gas

 

they thought that better 

than a life spent 

drowning himself in liquor 

and hating the world.

 

regardless of opinion,

the bitter made him live longer.

he died at 74 

after battling leukemia

 

i can’t tell if that’s better.

 

often times he wrote

that God is dead.

his poetry was madness

disgusting

disrespectful

sometimes none of that

sometimes all 

 

maybe that made him 

interesting 

 

despite his flaws,

i am curious

if he went to heaven. 

 

do men who live a life

in hell

deserve to return in death? 

 

or is that another question

i’m not supposed to ask.