Month: September 2018

Recently I’ve been listening to the same song over and over again. its called “Courtship of the Mermaid.” In the song, the narrator is trying to win over a mermaid by throwing multiple pizza’s at her.

This song, for some reason, reminds me of myself. I would definitely throw an entire pizza at a mermaid if i got the chance. Also, I would love to have pizza thrown at me. Any free pizza is good pizza. Like, if you’re trying to win me over, get me an entire pizza. Pepperoni more specifically.

What kind of pizza do you think mermaids like? I can only think of seaweed pizza, but I’m not sure if that’s a thing. Mermaids probably would have never had pizza. or, not one like ours. they cant have tomatoes and cheese and bread underwater. what if they’re all lactose intolerant? we wouldn’t know. then their stomachs would hurt from all that cheese on the pizza.

Plus, youre not suppesed to swim after eating, so wouldnt we technically be paralyzing them for rougly 15 minutes? this would increase the number of mermaids captured and killed. we cant allow this to happen.

Are there other creatures we can throw pizzas at? Yes! Throwing a pizza at a werewolf that’s chasing you will temporarily stun them, giving you more time to run away. I’m sure you can make some gremlins day by throwing a pizza under a bridge. Fairies would never be hungry again if you gave them an entire pizza. you’d essentially have fed and saved a variety of woodland mythical creatures, making you a hero.

Can you imagine your gravestone saying “hero to all, bless our pizza savior,” because i totally can. for hundreds of years after that, people would leave pizza at your grave as a sign of respect. Towns would make statues of you holding a box of pizza. They would write books about you. The creatures would learn about you in school. Heck, you might even get an entire musical written about you. You would live on for decades just by ordering a couple of $5 hot and ready pizzas.

You just cant throw pizzas at mermaids

 

I am trying. I promise you that I am. I have been doing my breathing exercises every morning before I get out of bed and wake my roommates. I have been taking my medications mostly everyday. I have been allowing myself to cry. These are all things I have always struggled with. I never really wanted to accept that I had a problem, despite my constant writing about it. I truly wanted to believe there was nothing wrong with me, and even when I did accept it, I didn’t want to do anything about it. I just wanted to live normally without having to pace myself. Now I am in this environment, and I am beginning to realize its importance.

You see, I have psychogenic non-epileptic seizures, also know as pseudo seizures. If you do not know what this is, it consists of getting overwhelmed and losing consciousness. It isn’t a constant thing for me. It happens every few months or maybe every few weeks if I am at a bad place in my head. It is really scary for not only me but for the people around me as well. I am aware of this, so I have been trying my absolute best to stay calm and underwhelmed. I never realized how hard doing just that is. Especially when I obsess over every little thing. Sometimes I can feel myself starting to get light headed and nauseous, and my natural reaction is to stress about stressing. I try to force myself to calm down even though I know forcing it will only make it worse. It is really hard. I am almost scared to feel anything at this point.

Sometimes in class I will start over-thinking about what I am going to say. This is something completely normal for me, but now the expectations are so high. I find myself stressing about small details like vocabulary or structure of my response even though it’s verbal. It’s completely pointless, but I can’t help it. This will lead to my mind falling blank and a wave of dizziness trying to take me down. If you ever see me staring at nothing with a blank expression on my face, I am probably trying to stabilize myself. Some say I go extremely pale, I’m not sure. This is the warning, especially if I am standing up, that I might faint.

The situation does not really affect me too much. Yes, I have to be very careful about my reaction to things, but I have pretty much trained myself to stabilize when necessary. I just need to get used to the new environment and all the responsibility I now hold. Once I finally relax, I shouldn’t have to worry so much about sending people into chaos because of a stress seizure.