This past weekend, I went on my first college tour. I went up to Oxford, despite it being my birthday, to tour Ole Miss. It was Junior Preview day, meaning high school juniors worldwide were there to tour. When we got there, they spoke to us in the pavilion about the college’s mission and what we would get out of the day. It was very informative and allowed me to explore the beautiful campus.

 Since I was little, I’ve known exactly what profession I want to pursue. This profession is a lawyer. I often get asked, “What kind of law do you want to do?” and there’s no easy answer to the question since there are many kinds, and I still don’t know which one I want to do. 

 I got to tour the honors college at Ole Miss, along with the Law School. During these tours, I learned that the acceptance rate to the law school is only 40 percent. This made me honestly start to panic. I mathed it in my brain and realized 60 percent of people who apply don’t get in. Over half. I tried to hide my panic from my parents and the person who gave us the tour.

 I have since been stressing myself out about what I’m going to major in and what I’m going to do in regards to special programs or schools within the college. I am planning on attending Ole Miss, and it has always been somewhere I wanted to go. Now, after this visit, I am stressed about the idea of going to college next calendar year. I am scared I won’t succeed and that college will be too difficult for me because of the expectations people have of me to do many programs and be in the honors college. 

I spoke to someone close to me who felt this same pressure when she was getting ready for college. She told me it was normal and that I would succeed no matter what. This comforted me and showed me that even though I’m stressed now, I will be okay in the future.

On March 31st, the season finale of Common Side Effects aired, and I had no clue. I wasn’t even aware of the amount of episodes released because, to me, they all clumped together into a mass of something I loved.

I cried relentlessly that Monday evening and I’m not ashamed about it. The reason this show had such a grasp on me, was because it is so much more than just “my show”, like I call it. It’s a staple of friendship and family, a measurement of time, and a meaning of my identity.

This show, very clearly, means a lot to me. It’s hard to write this knowing new episodes aren’t releasing at this time. Common Side Effects was something that I looked forward to after a hard week. It’s tough to sit here and realize I don’t have that comfort anymore (for now).

But Common Side Effects wasn’t just “my” show, it was me and my friend’s! I never watched an episode without them, unless it was with my dad. He was actually the person who got me into Adult Swim in the first place. But I was still surprised to find out he knew exactly what I was talking about when I was rambling to him about the upcoming show I was excited about.

He was able to watch new episodes before me since his TV constantly stayed on the Adult Swim network. New episodes would air on Sunday nights and then were released on Max the Monday after.  Sometimes, on a Sunday, he would text me, “Common Side Effects” to let me know he was watching it. I think it was to taunt me…

But ever since early February, my friend and I would schedule time together and make sure that we would be able to have this thing that was completely ours. And now, I wonder what’s going to bring us together like this again? Should we just watch reruns of each episode? Should we move onto another show until season 2 is released? I don’t think I’ll be able to find another show as good as Common Side Effects, that’s just not possible for me.

I called Common Side Effects “my” show. That’s what everyone knew it as, and if they didn’t know the title, they knew the plot and they knew it as “Steph’s show.” This may sound silly, but there are so many instances where I felt like this show was perfect for me.

When I first saw the trailer for Common Side Effects, at about 12 AM alone in my dorm, my first thought was, “Oh this looks good, but I bet it’s on its 5th season and I’ll have to catch up so I won’t bother.” What a stupid thought! The first episode wasn’t even out by this time. It was going to be another week before the first episode aired. It was perfect timing.

I have a lot of trouble getting into TV shows because, most of the time, there’s already multiple seasons out by the time I find it, and I get really intimidated by the amount of time I would have to spend catching up. So I never watch shows.

Common Side Effects‘ characters are absolutely perfect and I’ve fallen in love with every single one of them. There’s so many realistic and human flaws to every character and that makes them even more lovable to me. 

Some characters, like Frances, have subtle flaws that you can only define after calculating all of their actions and intentions. Frances initially comes off as a quirky, hardworking, and kind woman. She’s very cute! But as the story progresses, you see how she can be selfish, power-driven, and exploitative on top of her other traits. But of course, I can’t hate her because she’s also relatable, funny, and somewhat understandable. If I was in her position, I’d probably do what she did and more!

There are so many little things about this show that I proudly over-analyze. Like when a character takes the Blue Angel mushroom, they experience a vivid hallucination in a place coined “The Portal.” Each character has a different vision and I think every single one of them is either foreshadowing, reflective of the character’s inner desires, or exposing of their traits. There was even a time where I analyzed characters’ outfits down to the earrings and shoes! But that’s a topic for an entirely different day.

The soundtrack is also absolutely amazing. The original songs are so well done and the songs picked to be used in the show are perfectly chosen. There’s so many different genres of song used throughout the show but they all work together and fit in perfectly. I made a playlist and (tried to) put the songs in chronological order in the show. I’m also working on a personal playlist of songs I associate with Common Side Effects rather than just the songs in the show.

All of this rambling to say, I absolutely love Common Side Effects and I think it’s a great show that everyone should watch. The art style is very unique, and I’m aware that a lot of people won’t pick this show up purely because of it, but after a while, it definitely grows on you. I’m a huge fan and I love every single thing about this show. I’m really sad that season one is over, but I’m excited and hopeful for season two!

As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, I love theater/acting. I’m always on the prowl for a good play/sitcom to watch. I love drama, comedy, and actors who pour their guts into a role. What better place to find all three of these than Saturday Night Live? I started watching SNL in 7^th grade. I have a vivid memory of watching Zach Galifianakis in a red M&M suit defend himself in a candy store and several other bizarre, unhinged moments in the show. This show has some very funny cast members.  Now, I’m not too quick to pick favorites because I’m sure every cast member there is super talented. I’ve heard that it’s difficult to audition for SNL, let alone secure a spot. But I can’t imagine what this show would be like without the influence of five people I will be fangirling about today.

Kenan Thompson:

Kenan Thompson has been a cast member at SNL for a very long time. Like seriously, they should pay him tribute by photoshopping a picture of his face on the SNL logo. He is THE OG cast member, and I can totally understand why Lorne (the exec) has kept him on air for so long. He presents himself so naturally.  You can really tell that he just reads the script, practices one time and then catches on immediately. I haven’t seen any actor exude the energy that Kenan does. It’s unique and genuinely funny.  Also, Kenan has the funniest resting face I’ve ever seen. It looks like he’s about to burst out laughing at any moment. I’ve probably watched every skit that he was in.

Cecily Strong:

Cecily Strong is one of the OG goats of SNL. I think she came onto the show in 2012. What really stands out to me about her is that she can play any character. I know actors get this compliment a lot, but I really mean it when I say she can play ANY character. I’ve seen her play a cashier, a crazy neighbor, a gold digger, a kid, a mom, an old lady, etc. She has a very wide acting range, and it’s so enjoyable and thrilling to watch her on the stage/tv. I can really see why so many actors admire her. She’s easily one of the funniest members on the show. If you want a good laugh, you should go watch the QVC skit with her and Kristen Wiig!

Bill Hader:

Bill Hader came onto SNL a little bit before the cast members mentioned above him. He started the show in 2005 and left around 2013, so he didn’t get the chance to do a lot of sketches with the other actors mentioned above him. But that doesn’t matter because he stands out all on his own. Bill Hader is an amazing actor, and I commend him for all his moves/shows aside from SNL. But what draws me to him the most is his voice. He has such an eloquent and captivating tone. He plays the role of a sardonic game show host perfectly. He’s another one of those dramatically funny actors, and he matches SNL’s vibe so well.  

Kristen Wiig:

Kristen Wiig joined the cast of SNL in 2005. She easily established herself as one of the funniest people there. She is such a talented person. I feel like I’ve called everyone in this blog talented, but I feel there is no other way to describe how impressive her acting is. I’m convinced that Kristen Wiig has lived the life of every character she has played because the way she disappears into the role is unbelievable. Most of her characters are bizarre and outlandish, but she makes them memorable with the way she portrays them. I can’t imagine how dull the show would have been if she never came on air.

Aidy Bryant:

Aidy Bryant joined the show in 2012. She is another actor with a very wide acting range. I love to see her play confident/slightly arrogant characters because she steps into that role really well. She has a lot of control over her tone, and she stands out because of it. Aidy has so many funny skits on SNL, and I can really see her acting in her own sitcom or movie.

So, last week I went home for the weekend early on Thursday. I was so excited because I knew I would be coming back with my car. The only reason I didn’t have it was because we needed to get the insurance and all the paperwork filled out. Well, we got all that done, so I was ready to take it to school. But first, I had to get through the weekend first.

This weekend was awesome, because it was the very first time I got to drive my car on my own. It was on the way home from school where I asked my mom if I could pick my brother up when he got out of school (I left really early in the morning.) That was the only excuse I had in that moment to drive on my own. Thankfully, she said yes. Later that day when I was already home, I got ready and went and picked him up. For the first time, I had total control over the music. Even when I’m driving, my mom dogs on my music and tells me to change it constantly. But now, I got to blast the music as loud as I wanted and listen to whatever I wanted. My brother was embarrassed when I got to his school with music playing really loud, but at least it was Radiohead and not Niki Minaj or something. Later, I was supposed to see my nephew, but stuff didn’t work out. So, instead I took my brother to Gulfport to get popeyes and we drove around for a while. Later we got ice cream, and I had so much fun driving on my own.

The next day I picked him up again, and something awesome happened. I got to see my favorite teacher from Long Beach again. We got to talk while I waited on my brother to come out (he took forever). When he got in the car, another teacher I really liked came by and said hi. When we all were done, me and my brother left and went to McDonalds. We ate that right up and then got back on the road again, where I just drove along the beach with my music playing. It was so fun. After that, my mom called us home, so I drove back.

If you didn’t know, I used to live in Gautier, Ms before I lived in Long Beach. So, Gautier is where my best friend lives. Sadly, because we don’t live by each other anymore, I haven’t seen him since the summer. So, I decided that Saturday was the day I would fix that. I hoped in my car, and I drove the 45 minutes over there. The drive was not that bad at all, and I had a lot of fun getting there. When I got there, he hopped in my car, and I started driving around to see all the old places I went to a lot. Places like my old home and my old schools. There was one restaurant that I loved, but I didn’t get to go that day sadly. We spent the whole day driving around and going to different beaches. We ended the day at his house where we ate dinner. After that, I drove back home and went to bed.

Then came Sunday. This was the day I had to drive the three hours all the way back to school. But I’ve already done this drive two other times with my mom in the car and I did fine, so there wasn’t really anything I was worried about. The whole drive was pretty smooth other than me having to slam on my break twice because of other people. But I was fine. I made it to the school in one piece and got my parking pass to keep my car on campus. 

Diving my car around on my own has taught me two things. I need to get my AC fixed and driving with your mom sucks. I didn’t realize how fun driving was until she wasn’t yelling at me every time I made a mistake. It was sooooo freeing. Okay, that’s it for my yap sesh.

Bugsnax is a game where you play as a photographer and go off to this island to interview a woman who made a colony there. The woman named Lizbert (below) found an island like no other, where these animals called Bugsnax live. The Bugsnax, as shown in the picture above, are animals/insects fused with foods, and when you eat the food, they become a part of your body. She moved to this island with a group of others to make a new life, but everything went wrong when she went missing.

So, Bugsnax has many interesting things about it, but of course when I played this like two years ago, I was interested in why it was under the LGBT tag in the shop. I downloaded the game while it was free on gamepass and I indulged. In the game we are on a flying ship that gets wrecked into by this giant creature, which turned out to be a large pepperoni pizza! We first meet Filbo who is the blue monster in the first picture, and he tells us he was out looking for Bugsnax. He was the vice mayor of the little community they had, but everyone was separated, so really our main goal was to get the town back together. So, you’ll never guess who my favorite two in the game were…

So, I’m definitely lying when I say these two are my favorite, I think. My favorite couple is actually this lady who sings for this guy which is cute but not the point. Meet Chandlo and Snorpy. They were literally roommates. When these two left they went to live in this cabin on the mountains. Snorpy never left the house, so Chandlo gave us the task to convince him to touch grass. They have this odd homoerotic relationship, and it’s clear they both have feelings for each other, but Snorpy is too afraid to say anything. But when you convince one of them to go back, the other follows.

Before we move on. There is a party near the end when you get everyone back to the village. Snorpy is talking to us and he’s all like, man I really like Chandlo, but I don’t think he likes me. So, we convince Snorpy to confess, and apparently Chandlo thought they had been together for years before they kissed on a Ferris wheel. WHAT? They drive me insane, but I love them so much sigh…

This is Eggabell, Lizbert’s wife or girlfriend, I’m not sure which. But when we first arrived, she wasn’t there, but we had seen the two in tapes at the beginning of the game. I think this is our first meeting with her, where we find a clue on where Lizbert disappeared to. We have to get into these big stone doors and go inside of them with Eggabell, who is not leaving until she gets Lizbert back.

When we get into the big stone doors, we find Lizbert like this. She explains that Bugsnaxs are evil. Which I knew from the beginning! So, I may be remembering this weird, but I think Eggabell fuses with Lizbert into that nasty creature you see in the picture above, and they hold off the Bugsnax while we get back to the village to help everyone get off.

Let’s talk about the ending I got. Bugsnax is a game with multiple endings because at the village you have to do challenges to hold the Bugsnax back while fixing your ship.. and you’ll never guess who died after my first playthrough… SNORPY. Oh my god, it was the saddest moment in my life to watch him die, IN FRONT OF CHANDLO. Everyone lived except him, it was literally all my fault </3 So guess what, when we made it back to actual civilization, I spoke to Chandlo. He was all like, yeah, I’ll miss him, and I wish I could’ve stopped it- At this point I’m crying real tears. So, a few months ago, I bought the game for like 8 dollars, it was on sale, and I am in the process of replaying it, so I don’t kill Snorpy. Anyways, that was my experience with Bugsnax!

Today I woke up and I felt inspired to create a world. I don’t get inspired a lot, so I knew that this was something special. For the longest time I’ve been interested in creating universes. Especially in fantasy writing. I used to read tons of fantasy books when I was a kid, and I admired many authors for creating amazing and complex worlds. My goal for any story is to create a world my readers can question, be fascinated in, and enjoy. This takes time and focus and a lot of planning. I want to start creating a base for the world first and then expand on the small details as I learn more about it. With that being said, I have so many thoughts and ideas that could potentially be a short story or whatever. But I also know that universes take a lot of effort to create and I’m also wondering if I have the ideas to flesh this out.  Universes are cool but It’s kind of hard to maintain them and remember the small details about them. One thing I’ve learned about writing in general is to have an open mind about characters and universes. There have been many instances where I have created the groundwork for a character, and they didn’t have the traits they began with later in the story. I don’t think this is a bad thing because it teaches you that writing isn’t always a mind task. Sometimes you can be influenced by the world around you and an entirely different story is created. Some people can maintain their initial thoughts for a story, but for me it’s hard to get back to my previous ideas. For a while I was so burnt out with writing, I think this is because I was trying to adhere to something that didn’t work for me. I forgot that the best part about writing was to indulge in your process and experiences. Without this it’s hard to write something that you will enjoy. This is unrelated to the earlier topic, but me and a writer friend of mine were talking about being burnt out because of writing assignments. The problem was that we didn’t have enough time to enjoy other writing projects because we had to meet deadlines. Eventually I admitted that I was absolutely exhausted with work. I told her that I barely got any other work done aside from my assignments because I was so burnt out by the time I completed my work. This burn out would last until another assignment was due and I had to push through to meet that deadline. Luckily, she told me that she understood and experienced this as well. She said that writing became more like homework when she started taking classes, but what helped her was personal writing. She said that taking time to write something you enjoy can help you find the reason you wanted to pursue the craft. And y’all, this was pretty good advice. I was slightly inspired by her love and persistence for writing, but I also knew I needed help to get out of my dry patch. So, I pushed through and wrote a small paragraph about the moon. It was relieving and I was happy to be writing again, even if it was only a few sentences. This was about a month ago, and I’m proud of how far I’ve come. Also, I’ll post my fantasy universe draft when I finish it.

Tw: Mention of blood and a wound 

Here is the story of how I once split my head open, and my mom didn’t find out until a decade later. When I was three or four, I used to play hide-and-seek with my cousins and older brother. We played all around our small neighborhood. My cousin Cameron, who is now in his early twenties, was always the seeker while I hid with my other cousins. One of our favorite hiding spots was the bed of my uncle’s truck. Cameron was barely tall enough to see into it, so it was the easiest place to hide. We were climbing out of the truck after we had been found, and my older brother was trying to put the tailgate back up. It slipped out of his hands and hit me on the head.

I blacked out and rolled to the curb; blood was all over the driveway. My cousin, who wasn’t much older than my brother, picked me up and tried to carry me up the stairs before slipping. Then Cameron picked me up and took me to my aunt who then handed me to my dad. My dad was panicked, he didn’t know what to do. I blacked out again and found myself in the backseat of the car, passing the giraffe on Highway 49 in Gulfport. We were on the way to the hospital.

I blacked out again and woke up in a loud machine with headphones on. Unfamiliar country music was playing. I started squirming, which made the technician restart the scan. Everything was fine, just an open wound on my head. I got a sucker and was on my way home. I remember retelling this story to my mom when I was about thirteen; she had no idea that anything like this had happened since she was at work that day. My family all kept it a secret from her.