Author: Robin Russell

Since this is my last blog for the year, I wanted to reflect on the year and write about my experiences this year. I have had a great year overall. There have been some struggles though. I think when some people decide to change their life or flip it upside down they think everything will be great and no struggles will be had but those people are wrong. I think a many believe this due to the structure of movies but that is a whole side rant I won’t go on.  Without struggle you don’t get to where you need to be. Without struggle you don’t grow and without struggle you can’t find who you are. I have had struggles this year but it is within those struggles I have learned about myself and others. I think that people put a pressure on themselves and on this place when coming here as new students to be perfect and happy but it isn’t always like that. If you want life to be a rollercoaster you have to have lows. I think a lot of people loose that way of thinking especially with the internet shoving the idea of being perfect down everyone’s throat. It isn’t important to be perfect it is important to live and experience. Some may argue that it is important to be happy but well I somewhat disagree. I think being happy is a great thing that is needed but I just don’t think that is the bigger picture, the meaning to life if you will. It is far more important to be human. 

I have had a great year so far and have really had some great experiences. I have made some great friends and met incredible teachers. I have found what I want. I have also found my voice and my motivation. I have found my peace. 

I have loved hanging out with my friends and I have loved the things I have learned. Each of these things I will carry with me through life. 

I have begun packing up my dorm and am taking a lot home this weekend. I will miss my dorm and all the fun I have had there whether that be waking up to the sun shining through the window on weekends, having friends over and hanging out while we sit on the cool floor, or even when I have had to sit at my desk alone or sit in the silence and work. I will miss it very much, well I guess you could say I already do. 

I will miss my favorite benches that overlook the street. I love how nice the campus is and how nice it feels to sit outside and breathe in the fresh air. I will miss going to T-Soup and Serios. I will miss going thrifting. And I will miss walking around town with my friends. 

I have grown here and I have learned here. I feel that this has been a great experience. A needed one as well. 

I would like to recap some of my favorite things that have happened this year as a reflection. As a memory saver. 

Ole Brook festival

At the beginning of the year Brookhaven held a festival, which they do every year. It was just something to do. They had venders that lined the parking lots and streets by the railroad park. They had live music, some of our vocals even participated. That was the first weekend I stayed. I went to the festival with my dear friend Sarah House and we had a really fun time. They even played “Upside Down” by Jack Johnson, a mutual favorite song of ours. We hung out with a few of our other friends as well throughout the weekend. I ordered doordash for the first time as well and we participated in craft night which was fun. We made bracelets and painted random pictures. It was fun. It was my favorite weekend this year I believe. 

Workshops and Guests 

The workshops and guest artists this year have been amazing. I have really loved the workshops we have had so far. I really like being able to read others work and then receive feedback for your own. It also helps you feel less alone in the writing process. The guests we have had in class have also made it such a great year. They have inspired now projects and have helped us all continue writing in new ways. These are my favorite parts of class. 

New movies, new music, new people

I have found a lot of new media and art while being her at MSA. I have been recommended countless shows and movies and have also been recommended a few new songs and bands. It is hard in a normal environment to find people that like the same type of media as you but I think here it is easier. I would like to talk about a few things that I was recommended this year that stuck out. Ride the Cyclone. One of the best musicals ever btw. I can’t believe it took me this long to watch it. One of my suitemates even sang a song from it for the vocal cabaret, but I didn’t watch it till Sarah decided to introduce it to me. The music is top tier along with the set, choreo, costumes, and props. I found this to be  a great musical and since then I have watched it about two or three more times. Sarah also recommended a movie called Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind a while back. It has become one of my favorite movies. It is such an intellectually deep and thought provoking movie, which is the genre I usually go for lol. I have watch that movie about five times now and I can say with confidence that it is a great movie. I had heard about this movie before but I thought it wasn’t a movie I would really like but one weekend I watched it with my mom and it was amazing. (Sarah 10/10 recommendations fr) Now moving on to some other media I have been recommended. Danny oh Danny and Nick oh Nick……You both have recommended so many amazing movies, shows, and music that I can not list all of them lol. But I will say that all of the recommendations from you two have also been 10/10. I have also thanks to this school met a lot of new people.  I have had two roommates. Emmylan became one of my best friends even though she left. I met Sarah who has become one of my best friends as well. She makes a bad day better most of the time lol. She has taught me that having personality is cool, yes I already knew this but I always thought that my personality wasn’t what others wanted to see but Sarah has taught me that others want to see your personality and what makes you you. I have met Danny who has been such a good friend and we relate and agree on a lot of topics. I am so happy to have met them as well as all of the Jr. literary class. I have grown because of all of them and I wanted to say thank you to all of them for that. I have also been able to become friends with two seniors who are great people. They are kind, respectful, whimsical, and honestly some of the best people I have met. They make any experience better and I can’t believe they are leaving Monday. I’ll miss you Steph and Richie!!!! I have also met other various amazing people some many that I can’t name all of them either but if you weren’t named just know you still count and mean the world to me lol. 

Now some photos ………

That was a long paragraph but it was worth it lol. Now I would like to talk about how this year has helped me as a writer. I have always struggled with finding my thing. I have always had so many things I want to pursue but I think that coming here has shown me how much I love writing and how big of a part writing is in my life. I have also had trouble finding my why for writing but I feel that this has helped me grow closer to finding my why. This year has also helped me find my process and find the joy of art again. I fell out of love for the process about a year ago and coming here was I think a step to help me out of that hole. I have since grown to love art much more, maybe even more than I did before I fell out of love the first time. 

This year has been a growing experience and a great opportunity that I will forever be grateful for. I am so sad that the year is already almost over but I am ready for where life takes me next. 

Love y’all!!! Over and out. 

As we all know by now I love music. It is what I need to survive actually. Without my music I am nothing . Anyways I decided I am going to do a bit 0f reorganization and declutter my Spotify. I really don’t have any good playlists at the moment and would really like to have some good playlists to listen to so we are going to fix this. I know most people sort songs by genre buttttt here me out. I don’t listen to songs based on genre i listen based on day and mood. I also listen to wayyyyyyy too many genres to sort. So I am going to start by making playlists based on activities and then go into moods. I am going to use this blog as an idea area for my playlists and then i will make another blog detailing my playlists and some of the songs. 

Anyways so I have already tried to organize my playlists once this year but it really didn’t work and it just isn’t set up the way i would like. This is why we are going to revamp my Spotify. Now first i am going to list the playlists categories i want to make. After that i will condense them ( highlight them in groups to make it easier)and try and make them a bit better. 

1. writing 
2. Working/study
3. reading 
4. driving
5. Cleaning 
6. road trip / Felid trips 
7. theatre / soundtracks 
8. senior year 
9. Childhood 
10. 17 
11. new wave/ goth/ punk 
12. Christian music  (already made)
13. summer (already made)
14. rap / hip hop 
15. opium ( I normally have one for the record label opium because my friend has a playlist for them aswell) 
16. Divorced dad music (ifykyk) 
17. emo/midwest emo 
18. 80’s music 
19. 90’s music 
20. 2000’s trashy pop 
21. psychedelic rock 

Now that I have named all the playlist I want to make I am going to try and condense them and name them. 

1. senior szn ‘27 (senior playlist) 
2. Down the rabbit hole  (Roadtrips/ field trips) 
3. Only 17 (17 playlist) 
4. Lock in and focus (writing, work, study, clean, read)
5. No business like show business (soundtracks and theatre) 
6. opium (songs from the opium record label)
7. 80’s mixtape (80’s)
8. 90’s CD (90’s)
9. Y2K (2000’s trashy pop)
10. Brain Static (psychedelic rock)
11. 2009 Memorabilia (childhood) 
12. THE AUX (driving) 
13. Summer or (insert summer year) (summer playlist)
14. Spitting Bars ( rap and hip-hop)
15. punk/goth/new wave (I’ll just leave this as the title for now)
16.  Some divorced dad in the 2000’s (divorced dad rock)
17. Blue Ruin (Midwest emo and emo. Reference to Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind)

Now that I have come up with the names I go to Pinterest and find some cool photos to add as covers. Normally I try to pick covers that go with the playlist in some way. After that I will begin sorting my music into their different categories. I will update on the progress later on. I just thought it would be cool to talk a bit about my process for organizing my playlists since I haven’t really found a lot of other people who talk about their playlists and their process for making them. Music is such a huge part of my life and so in turn playlists are a really huge part of my life so I thought it would be cool to just talk a bit about that. I think I will end it right here but if you have any questions or suggestions let me know. 

In my opinion we all create art and are art. We all create different things and express ourselves in different formats but each of us are still artists and art. I think that this is important to preface because I want to talk a bit about my creative influences and people I look up to as artists. I think it is important to know who you look to for creative guidance and inspiration. I believe that we all feed off of each others art and creativity in a way. Without this sharing and accumulation of everyone else’s art then there would be no art or creativity for that matter. So, this is why I think it is so important to find people you get inspired by or people you look up to creatively. I do think there is a limit though and some do cross it. Having these people to look to doesn’t mean copying. That isn’t art. Art is the accumulation of experiences, feelings, and ideas whether that be from you or others melded into a new creation, at least that’s how I see art. And due to this outlook on art, I think it’s very important to reflect and look at the people you find inspiration in and why. I think that helps your creative process the most so that is what I want to do for this blog. This is going to be me looking at my influences and finding the why behind the inspiration. I love doing this as well. It helps me feel very creative and it often helps me get out of a rut if all else fails. So, let’s begin. (I also encourage you to do this as well if you want. I feel it’s a great exercise to add to your creative process.) 

Now first you have to identify the people you look up to. Just make a short list of who it is you have found to be inspiring or creative within the past month or two. They don’t have to be considered ‘Artists’. It just has to be people who you see art in. 

My current list : Dominic Fike, Jack white, Jack Wolfe, Noah Kahan, Tim Burton, Avril Lavigne, Parker Kendal, Billie Joe Armstrong, Finn Wolfhard, Jack Dylan Grazer, Tyler the Creator, Jeff Buckley, Mac Miller, Johnny Depp, Lin Manuel Miranda, Kyrsten ritter, Angus cloud, Lil peep, thelastcoffeebean (YouTuber)

Now not everyone you think is creative has to go on this list. Mine is a little long but its okay because then after you make the list you choose a couple if it is longer and use them. You research them and their creative process and styles. You try to get into their headspace and see why you think they are creative and why you admire them and even why you think they are ‘role models’ in the creative world. 

So here are the three I am going to do in this blog, Dominic Fike, Noah Kahan, and Jack White. I decided on these three just solely on how recently I have felt that they have a creative spark that ignites mine. Sooooo now that I have picked the ones I am going to elaborate on I am going to write about each of them. And figure out why.  Now I can do this roughly with these people without having to do a lot of research because I have already done so much on each of these people but researching does help and I encourage it. 

1. Dominic Fike

Dominic Fike is a singer and musician. But I see him as an artist due to the way he goes about and sees making music. His favorite part of the process is writing lyrics. Everything musically he does he sees as an art and he sees a formula that most don’t see. I am able to see some of this formula myself. I like his writing style and how his lyrics flow together. I like how perfect yet imperfect his songs are. They are perfect in the sense of being music and being enjoyable and making people feel but they are imperfect due to the music standard and music theory. His music is abstract and that is what makes it so good. Its not only his music though that I admire creatively. The way he lives is very admirable and how I feel creativity breeds. He does what he does. He is obsessed with writing and writes constantly. Writing is who he is. He doesn’t like social media. He actually blames it for most of his issues. A lot of people hate on his use of autotune but in my opinion I think he uses it for vibe and vision not for distortion of his own voice to sound better. He uses his tools as tools not as aids or crutches. He also is very mindful. He tries to understand himself and he has self respect which I think many artists don’t have. I also feel that he uses his voice and position for good. Many think that music is useless and not a helpful profession but I disagree. I think it helps with feeling, empathy, self reflection, and a whole bunch of things that are needed. He is aware and present and that is so rare in todays society. 

2. Noah Kahan

I also see Noah Kahan as more of a writer than a musician. His lyrics are so impactful and well written. He writes to feel and for others to feel. He writes to reflect on himself and his past. He has a unique song style that is almost like diary entries which grabs a lot of people’s interests. His songs are raw and that is what people like. People admire how real he is in this world where everything is fake. He also focuses a lot on mental health and has a project called the busy head project to aid others in struggles with mental health. I think its very admirable that he writes for others and uses his platform to help others. He also writes all the time. He never quits writing songs. That is his hobby which i fine cool. I find it cool that he found a job within something he sees as enjoyable and as a hobby. 

3. Jack White

He was the lead singer of the white stripes and now makes his own music. He also has made his own record label called Third Man Records. He has been on SNL as a guest artist a hand full of times as well. He has spoken out about how in moderation technology is good and how if it has a purpose then it is okay but social media and things of that nature are useless and harmful to society. He is from an underground way of life and so he has an underground viewpoint on things. He voices political concerns when needed. He embraces creative process in every way possible. He understands music on a deeper level than most. He finds the process to be the most important part of music. He tries new things even if they aren’t new to everyone he sees it as new opportunity for himself. 
He is focused on his life and his art and his goals. He doesn’t care about others and I think that is important as an artist. I also think its nice to see someone with the point of view that art is reused. Creativity is reused art. It is taking someone else has done or an idea you get from someone else and making something completely different from that. I think that is interesting because most artists now days strive for everything new and everything ahs to be perfect and polished but that just isn’t the case. 

So now that you have written a paragraph for each, you read through them and really try and understand why you look up to each one and see if anything they do you would like to incorporate or mold to fit your process.

Since this is getting really long I won’t put that here but that is one of the ways I find creativity and really try to understand why I find some people creative.  

Art comes from art. Creativity comes from creative people. We gain these things from others that are creative. We gain creative ideas from art already made. We gain art from creative ideas made upon reflection of others art. 

Recently I have been listening to an artist called Bella Kay. She has recently gotten really popular due to TikTok and Instagram I believe. I don’t like how TikTok especially effects the musical world. It helps the artists revenue I guess but it doesn’t help with building people’s personalities and knowledge about the musical world. I really like her song ‘The Sick’ but I didn’t really know who sang the song and I also didn’t know that it was the same singer who sings ‘Steady’ and ‘iloveitiloveitiloveit’. Those songs have become quite popular throughout the abyss that is social media. I wanted to talk a bit about some of her songs due to me doing a little deeper dive into her music. I really found some great songs of hers that haven’t hit the mainstream media yet that i thought I would talk about as well. 

The first song we need to talk about I think is the song i listened to first and then go from there. Son the first of Bella Kays songs that i listened to was called ‘The Sick’. It is a raw and emotional song much like her other songs. Her vocals itch your brain in a way that unlocks emotions and feelings. The Sick however when i first listened to it I wasn’t aware it was sung by Bella Kay. It was just a trending song that i found a deep connection with. I didn’t really research it like i should have but sometimes it’s okay just to listen to music because you like it. I think that is the main reason for music to find connections to the songs. But it is a song about a toxic relationship, addiction, and the struggle of loving someone who is self-destructive. It is about a relationship where both people are toxic. The narrator is also almost reflecting on this horrible relationship and realizing it’s bad but that she liked it because it was so toxic. It is an emotional ballad that really introduces Bella Kay’s style in my opinion. 

The next song i was introduced to was iloveitiloveitiloveit. The song is her most popular song on Spotify. It is also the same concept as the first song focusing on a toxic relationship. It is more so about the addictive, chaotic, and toxic cycle of dysfunctional relationships. It showcases how intense highs and lows feel and how easily addicting they are. The song also opens with lines about how being used gives her purpose if that gives you any idea of how the song feels. Her songs are quite unique and almost a bit depressing but I find them nice due to how the lyrics are beautifully written. 

The next song i am going to talk about is one of my favorite songs by her – Steady. It has gotten really popular but it as my first real encounter with Bella Kay. I liked the song so much i wanted to see who sung it and so i went and researched a bit and found that she also sang the two previous songs. This song spoke to me so much due to timing. I love when music is just so perfectly timed with your life when you find it. I feel that it resonates with my world right now but for a completely different meaning than what the song talks about but i wont get into that. The songs original meaning however is about the fear of falling in love, intense self doubt, and the struggle of personal self worth. I struggle with a lot of these things and so i believe that is why i like it s much but it also relates to an event that has been going on in my life. To me it sounds how that makes me feel in a way. I use music to decipher feelings a lot. It explores self-sabotage and just a number of other deeply felt emotions of many. That is why it is so popular. (Idk what that says about our society but yk…) The main part of the song that has become so so s incredibly popular is toward the middle or end of the song (the bridge) where she sings “I can’t” with the words “I want it bad” layered in the background. Her vocals add so much emotion to these lyrics that it doesn’t do them justice typing them out. It showcases the back and forth people who want to be in a relationship have when they want to be in love but are afraid to be in love at the same time. It shows how complex and complicated love can actually be due to it not always being an immediate feeling of reassurance. You can still love someone even though you are scared to fall in love and i think this song does a great job illustrating that and the feeling that go along with that. 

The last two songs aren’t as popular but that’s why i wanted to talk about the. She is an amazing artist and writer and i believe she doesn’t just need to be TikTok famous. She don’t need to just be a fad. The songs ‘Lonely’ and ‘Wonder wander’ are two songs i found after my deep dive into Bella Kay as an artist. These are the two that stuck out to me the most when looking through her releases. Lonely captures how loneliness feels in my opinion. It really encapsulates the raw emotion and describes it to a tee. I wont go into too much detail because i think it is much better to listen to these two songs especially. And then ‘Wonder Wander’ is about navigating nostalgia ( I relate so sos so much to this and i think that’s why it has such a big impact to me), and moving on from past relationships. It wouldn’t’t be a Bella Kay song if it wasn’t about a gut wrenching relationship now would it? 

I think if anything you should at least site to steady and wander wonder. Those songs i think really highlight her musical and lyrical ability. Anyways that’s all 🙂

I am still working on my Punk blog but in the meantime, I wanted to update you on the music I’ve been into recently and I kind of want to talk a bit about my style and what I’ve realized. 

So the first order of business is my music. I have really been into a summer vibe of music recently. I am very excited and ready for my summer to begin. The first song I want to talk about is Bravado by Lorde. This song feels as though it fits within teenage and summer times. It has a unique sound that makes you almost nostalgic yet wanting to move forward and experience life. The song is about Lorde’s own experience with shyness and introversion and how she overcomes these obstacles while being a public performer. It’s a “pep talk” for herself in this way. She addresses how she has to embrace confidence and ‘put it on’ for her performances. I have been listing to this song a lot lately because I love the way Lorde writes her songs. I like the lyrics and I also like the emotion it conveys.  I have also been listening to Noah Khan a lot recently. Noah Khan has a bunch or songs that have that free summer type of feeling to them. He writes about his depression, anxiety, and difficulties and how he deals with them. He uses his songs like diary entries or a journal. He makes them as specific or as generic as he wants. He writes the music to have feeling and that is his goal. I have been listening to him a lot just due to how much I relate summer to him. Last summer I had a friend who was really into Noah Khan and we listened to him a lot so now I relate his songs to summer and to that friend. I really like Noah Kahn and find myself relating to some of his songs. I have also been listening to a band I found recently called ‘The Story So Far’. They are a pop punk band and their songs focus on both the angsty breakup side of pop-punk as well as the more mature, introspective, and growth side of pop-punk. 

I have been going through my Pinterest recently and organizing it (or at least trying to) and I have found a bit of stuff I am interested in as well as who I am as a person. I have found that I am either a summer or fall girl. No in between. I have found that I really like patterns and certain pastel or deep color schemes. I have found that I really liked and still like art and need to begin drawing again. I have realized how much I would like to travel and see the world a bit before I am too old to do so. These are things I have thought about but not in depth and i think would be good to look into and find out why I like these things. I feel like this would be a good exercise for trying to understand yourself and find yourself. I feel like it is a good way to find yourself on a deeper level. 

So, this is what I am thinking of doing for the month of April. I am going to look through my music, my Pinterest, my interests, and my dislikes. I am going to write about each one in a journal and find out the meaning they have to me. Everything needs meaning and connection. Without these things we have no purpose. 

I was going to write a blog about the Punk community and continue that discussion, but I want to talk about something a bit different. I feel inspired to talk about the year overall and how I have been feeling recently. 

It feels like summer is almost here and I am so happy for that. I’m really excited for summer and to have a bit more free time to decompress. I am really excited however for senior year. This has made senior year be a big topic of my thoughts as of lately and I have been thinking a lot about what I want my senior year to be. 

I know it’s kind of cliche to want a good senior year and everything, but I do.  I want it to be fun and full of life. I want it to be full of creativity and motivation. I want it to be free of drama, and I want to be content with how my high school career ends if that makes sense. I want to be able to say I did what I wanted to do at the end of the many years of school. I want to be able to say my senior year was fun. 

In my eyes I see senior year as a different thing completely really. Maybe I have put it on a pedestal that it will never live up to, but I think a senior year should be full of activities with friends and it should feel like a weight being lifted because you are finally done with a chapter in your life. 

I am really hoping to have a great senior year and look forward to what it brings. I want to kind of talk a bit about what I want to do senior year almost as a bucket list if you will.

The main thing I am working toward for senior year is to win a few writing awards and submit a few IE’s (individual events) for MTA and Thescon next year (theatre competitions I go to every year). I have always wanted to advance with my IE’s but have never really had the motivation or time. I am going to ensure I have enough time to perfect them I am going to work with them over the summer. 

I also want to have a car senior year. I think that is one thing that is essential for a great senior year anywhere. With a car you can hang out with friends more sporadically and travel a bit more. These are things I think define a senior year.

I also think senior year is the most motivating time in a lot of people’s lives and sometimes the most productive. You are finally at the finish line, and you only have a little way to go so people are able to push through it without so much friction due to the light at the end of the very long tunnel. So that is what I want it to be to me in a way. I want it to be laid back yes, but I also want it to be a time of growth and hard work. I want to work really hard and get what I am working towards. I want to be able to have the balance a lot find senior year as far as fun, school, carefreeness, stability, and just overall contentment. 

I think to0 have these things though there comes a lot of work and preparation. So, I am making a decision to plan over the next few days and then during the summer work really hard during that break period to get where I want to be. I am going to overview my plan here to give you an idea of my plan.

I am planning to get all of my submissions (writing and theatre) prepared or at least roughly planned out as a strong idea or have a good grasp of it over the summer as well as plan a trip for senior year of the summer after senior year. I think a trip would be really fun and would help senior year truly feel like senior year. I am also planning to over the summer really tune into myself and who I am and what I want in life. I think that is a huge part of any year being good really, but I think this is a great opportunity to find myself. I also am going to reorganize my Spotify. My music is very important to me and so this is something that will definitely affect my year. If my playlists aren’t good, then life isn’t good lol. But overall, this summer I plan to really think. I want to think really hard and deeply about my art and why I do it. I want to find my purpose and find what it is that would truly benefit me as an artist whether that be in the writing world, music, theatre, visual art, media art worlds. I want to truly find a median between all of my artistic motivations and desires. 

It is going to be hard, but I think it will be worth it. 

P.S. Next blog will continue the information dumps about the Punk subculture. 

This blog it going to be a bit different from my usual blogs. I have always had an interest with this subculture but recently I have gotten into it again. 

For those who don’t know Punk is a subculture that is a global movement that emerged in the mid 70’s in the US. UK, and a few other nations. It is a countercultural reaction against mainstream commercialism. 

Punk emphasizes non-conformity, anti-capitalism, and individualism at its core. It is a movement against authority. It stems from political, economic, and social frustrations. It also focuses on raw emotion, passion, politics, and D-I-Y ethics. It is a truly incredible movement that I don’t think gets talked about as much as it should.

Many people when they think of Punk they think of anger and aggression which is partly true but Punk is much more. It is seeing something and doing something about it. Its standing up when no one else will. It’s knowing what is going on it your world. Due to a few individuals the punk scene, to some, has been lumped in with racism and negative and harmful ideologies, but this isn’t the case. Only a very very small, rare percent of Punks have these harmful ideologies. Most are very anti-racism, anti-fascism, anti-authoritarian, anti-white supremacy. Punks have actually significantly benefited many communities. Punk communities often operate in mutual aid, meaning they establish food programs for the poor, and establish support for the homeless and disabled. The Punk scene has also created a very welcoming and inclusive safe space for those who are in marginalized groups like LGBTQ+ and women. Punks have also been a big part in activism. They have fought against racism, sexism, animal cruelty, environmental issues, and even war. They often use bands as a platform to voice their opinions and impact society.  

Most people think that Punk is just a style or music but the ideologies that go with the subculture are so much more important to the punk community. The style and music has a huge role but the ideologies have a much bigger importance. Without these the punk subculture in my opinion wouldn’t exist. Some people say they are punk and do not align with the ideologies and I think that is a problem. A much bigger problem than not looking the part. This happens in a lot of subcultures, Goth for example. I think the mindset, especially in this particular subculture, means the most. 

But music and style plays a role as well. I could go on forever about this subculture and its ideologies, concept, and how relevant it is today but I fear this blog would be too long so I shall move on to talking about style and music for the moment. I may make another blog on this topic in the near future going further in detail. 

The style. THE STYLE! I personally love the punk style. Some may see the style as too dirty or grimy, but I personally love it. Liberty spikes. Handmade pieces. Self-sown patches. Big chunky boots. Safety pins, chains, studs galore. leather in any form. Ripped band tees. It is such an art really. It is a statement. A statement that goes with the anti-establishment and non-conformity ideologies. It rejects consumerism at its core, something I think is very needed in today’s society.

The music is what really introduced this subculture. The music started it all. It is a genre defined by aggressive fast-paced songs. It started in the 1970’s and continued to grow and evolve. It now has spread into many various forms like post-punk, hardcore, Oi!, Pop-punk, etc. (there are way too many to name.) Some punk bands during the Proto-punk era include MC5, the Stooges, Velvet Underground, New York Dolls, Death, the Sonics and the Seeds, the Dictators, the Monks, and Blue Cheer but these are only a few of the bands that fit into this category. Next category is the NYC scene. This was around 1974. This consisted of bands like Television, Blondie, the Ramones, Talking Heads, Dead Boys, Patti Smith, and Lydia Lunch. Many off these bands played at a venue called the CBGB club. It is what made this era the NYC scene era, seeing as it was a small legendary music club in New York that hosted some of the most influential punk bands to this day. Next is the UK scene which took place mainly in 1976. It centered in London- hence the name “UK Scene”. The key bands in this era were the Sex Pistols, The Clash, the Undertones and The Damned. It quickly split into 80’s subgenres like Anarcho-punk, Street punk (UK82), and OI!, to name a few. Many of the key venues for the UK Scene were the 100 club, the Roxy, and the Vortex. In the 90’s Punk grew even more reaching a huge audience. In the 90’s punk became a huge mainstream appeal. It was mainly through Californian pop-punk and skate punk. The bands that were most influential during this time were bands like Green day, the Offspring, Blink-182, Sum 41, Fugazi, Rancid, and NOFX.

This is getting to be a really long blog, so I am going to make a part two with some of my favorite bands, styles, and a talk about a few of the ideologies deeper. 

The Jeff Buckley Documentary finally came out. I have since watched it about 5 times now and I can say it’s an okay documentary. It definitely went into detail about his life, and I did like how they crafted it. The animations they made from his doodles was insane. They were really nice and added a lot to the documentary. It did not however change my view on his mother. 

It fortified it. I can say i9 watched it with a clear mind, but she was just off through the whole thing. The vibe she gave off was not a mother wanting to make a documentary for her son, it was more like see was doing it just to do it. She was doing it for the money, and to me that’s what isn’t good about his mother. She also seems to be holding back so much also hiding something. 

She told a story of how her and a few friends were seen by Jeff doing a bit of drugs and she told him not to tell anyone, or they would all go to prison. Almost like a threat. I feel like there is something way deeper to this story and she didn’t tell the whole thing. She told the story and didn’t spend any time on it whether to explain or talk in a bit more detail about it. She also made me really mad and dislike her when one of Jeff Buckley’s colleagues told a story about her before a show he was doing in his hometown. Jeff’s whole family came to see him, and he was about to go on when they had to hold off on the show for a moment due to his mother and one of her friends being found in the parking lot as high as a kite.  They then go to share voicemails from him calling his mother about the situation and he seems to be very angry, rightfully so, but they play if off as a funny and silly little event, but I think it paints a perfect picture of who his mother is. She is seen throughout the documentary a handful of times, and each time made it more clear of how narcissistic she was and how it seems she is only using Jeff for money.

Another thing about this documentary is how they are still trying to play off his death as normal. It isn’t normal and it certainly doesn’t add up. They say in the documentary that they believe he was mentally ill suffering from a manic-depressive disorder much like Jimi Hendrix and other artists during the time, but the disorder wasn’t well studied at the time therefore they couldn’t have known he had this disorder. I see it as playing it off trying to pin it on something that could happen and that is normal, but spoiler alert it was anything but normal.  His last girlfriend, Joan Wasser, a fellow songwriter and musician was also in the documentary and gave a few stories about jeff but one that stook out to me was a story they told about Jeff’s later years. It was maybe a couple of months before he passed. He supposedly told her that he was seeing visions of the devil and had a dream that he had a brain tumor and died but while they were telling these stories the camera cuts back to Joan Wasser who says Jeff told her about seeing visions and talking to the devil but when she says this her face curls into an unusual and odd facial expression one that seemed like she was almost happy, like a smirk but more devious and odd, especially since she was talking about the death of her boyfriend. My theory about this wasn’t really clear at first and then I found out about Duper’s Delight. It is a condition when certain people involuntarily smile, smirk, or laugh while lying. The micro expression is brief and a brief second uncontrollable movement that in turn reveals true emotion. Sometimes they feel this smile or muscle movement happen and try to hide it by biting their lips or tightening their mouth which only makes the movement look like a guilty smirk. It comes from the dopamine someone gets from lying and then in turn getting away with it. The condition is also often associated with narcissism which is an interesting correlation especially in this circumstance. 

These things make me think they still aren’t telling the truth and that something else is to blame for his death. 

When Jeff was found in the Wolf River when his body was found and what makes this interesting is where the exact spot he was found is located. He was found in the river fairly close if not across from a bar he played in weekly called the Barristers on Beale Street. Beale street is a very historical street in Memphis due to it being named “Home of the Blues”. 

All of this put together is quite odd. Jeff’s mother hiding things, his last girlfriend lying, and him being found near the “Home of the Blues”, makes an odd story, and one that needs to be addressed. He knew he was going to die. He has lyrics and journal entrees about these thoughts and predictions, even some about drowning. Also, some of his entrees were not published with the rest of his journal, which maybe they were personal but seeing the documentary the mother doesn’t care about personal things she cares about if it will hurt her image. She not only published his diary, his last album which he wished to burn, but she also allowed a few baby pictures of him in the documentary which were …… let me just say interesting. If she can put those photos in a movie about Jeff’s life I highly doubt, she is thinking about what is personal or not. So, I also think she is using the journal to set a narrative. He probably had things about her in the journal along with entrees about his death which she had removed before publishing it to the public.

He did not like his record label, nor did he trust them. He didn’t like his mom, he loved his mom due to her being his mom, but he didn’t like her. He left her and said on a few occasions he wanted nothing to do with her. He was a great writer, too great. They had to do something about it. Who “they” is, is still a mystery but one that needs to be found.

A story that needs its truth told. I do think a lot of the documentary was somewhat truthful. Not everyone in it was lying I could tell that but somewhere, and the people that were lying were important pieces to his story. So that is why I believe the documentary only partially did Jeff justice. 

This is all that I really have to say about it. It was good but could have been better. I could talk a lot more about it but for right now that’s it for this blog.  

It’s over. 

The final season finally came out.

! (Spoilers) !

I got to see the final episode in a theater near my home and it was pretty good. I’m glad I got to see it in a theatre. 

This season has been crazy but it definitely didn’t end how I thought it would end. My roommate and I before it came out came up with all these theories and what route they might take with ending the show but it definitely wasn’t what We thought. 

I did like the ending but I definitely was expecting more. I thought maybe they would go a more DnD route with the story but they didn’t. I also was hoping maybe El and Mike would have a happy ending but that didn’t happen. 

I did like the ending where Mike became a writer and wrote a DnD campaign around their story, I thought it added a nice touch. I also liked how sad and emotional the final episode was toward the VERY end. I liked how it was the end and I liked how it felt like the end of something. It had that sad emotion to it. It was also just kind of open though. 

In my opinion yes the story felt done and feels ended but at the same time not really. There is so much story that wasn’t told and wasn’t explained but played a huge role in the series. The ending felt done but not complete if that makes sense. Like why is it all connected to DnD and what happened to the storyline where Joyce, Hopper, and Henry all grew up together. They didn’t put an outfit together, they just picked clothing items. If that analogy makes any sense. 

But over all I think it was pretty good. I think the dialogue could’ve been written a bit better. I think it didn’t really feel like the Duffers wrote it. I also thought th sudden change in Will’s character was a bit odd. How they just made Will suddenly outgoing and it just made it awkward. I also didn’t understand bringing back El’s sister Kali. It just didn’t make much sense to bring her back for eight episodes just to kill her off. I think overall the  story could’ve ended in a much more cohesive way that wrapped everything up, but it was great nevertheless.  It made some sense and was an ending. That’s all it needed. 

And plus who knows if they’re planning on making more that explain it all better. 

And that’s a wrap on stranger things. 

One last adventure now complete. 

The end of beginnings. 

Winter break has come and gone so what better thing to talk about. It has been a minute since my last blog but it hasn’t been boring-trust me. 

I did a lot of self reflection while on break, since we are starting a new year and all. Not to sound corny but definitely feel like my life is kind of pivoting right now. I am getting my creative spark back little by little. I am also learning guitar, by myself. Definitely is difficult but I’m not giving up on it because it feels like I fit there if that makes sense. Me and my guitar. I learned a few new chords over break and even a scale. I tried to learn a song but I decided I wasn’t ready for all of that just yet, but I will be one day soon. 

I also decided to write a song or two and see what that’s about. I will update y’all about that later but for the rest of the blog I would like to talk about the past year. 

This past year has been amazing. I have grown a lot and I can see it in my day to day life. I have made so many friends both here (at school) and during this past summer. I have done a lot. I also don’t acknowledge my achievements often but I think with the new year rolling around it’s good to look back and reflect. Yes I could have done a lot of things better but why focus on that when last year was such a great one.  

I mean I basically lived at church camp all summer and had so much fun. I learned so much and made a lot of good friends. I then directly after camp was over came here. I have made a lot of new friends here too and i have learned a lot as well. So over all this year has been great and I can’t wait for this upcoming year. It’s gonna be a great one.