Some people shouldn’t have kids. This may upset some people, but as I’m sure you know, I don’t care. Just as you’re entitled to your opinion, I’m entitled to mine. Disclaimer: I am talking about this objectively; there are obviously specific situations, etc.
Some people just were not meant to take care of other people, and that is okay. I feel like a lot of women go on to have kids because they feel like that’s what’s expected of them, and they don’t want to one day regret not having them. I think it’s better to regret it rather than bring a life into the world and be a terrible parent.
The inspiration behind this blog post is that I’ve seen a lot of people on TikTok debating whether people in poverty should have kids, whether people with severe disabilities should have kids, and whether people who have not healed from their own trauma should have kids. I’ll take this section by section.
Poverty:
I think that it is selfish to intentionally have a child, especially multiple children, when you are aware that you can’t afford to have one kid- let alone multiple. If you are struggling to take care of yourself, how are you supposed to take care of a small human? I am aware that the cost of raising a kid has gone up significantly since the people who are reading this were children, but let’s not act like it wasn’t always expensive to take care of a kid. A prime example of this is the Jenkins Family on TikTok. I haven’t heard much about them recently, but they were popular on TikTok for their living situation. They have a family of seven. Seven. And they were living in a motel room after being evicted from a one-bedroom apartment. The mother, Stephanie, was doing her dishes in the tub while she was pregnant. She knew her situation and was continuing to have kids. I think that there is no other word to describe this than selfishness. Answer just this one question for me: say you want a kid, and you are living in a one-bedroom apartment, making minimum wage, and you can barely scrape by yourself; would you still have a kid? Personally, I would never want to bring a kid into the world who can’t have everything they need and more.
Severe Disabilities
Okay, I think this is a little selfish. My example for this portion is once again TikTok creators. Their names are Antwon and Deja. They suffer from Brittle Bone disease, leaving them both in wheelchairs. Their child suffers from the same disease as them. They both knew what their disease did to them, what they had to miss out on, and how they suffered, and they still had a kid. They said it was okay if their child had Brittle Bone disease because they had it. I just think that if they truly wanted a kid, they should have adopted. Which is still a little iffy, because if they both require a caretaker, how would they fully be able to take care of that child?
Trauma
Now, I don’t have a direct example for this. I just think that if you are aware that you have a lot of trauma and mental health issues that affect the way you act. It’s risky to have a kid, because your issues could affect that kid. Let’s say you have terrible depressive episodes and you aren’t able to do anything at all when you have those episodes. That child’s life doesn’t stop. They still need their father or their mother. That’s not to say never have a kid; just feel yourself first. Let me know what you think. Ci