Category: Junior Literary

At three years old, love came to me in the form of a security blanket; Bun Bun I named it, always carrying its bunny ears in my tiny balled up fists. It had my name monogrammed on its heart, or at least that’s what my mother told me. My eyes that were just a little too big for my face couldn’t formulate letters into words yet, so I just took my mother’s word as truth because I loved it. That wouldn’t be the last time I did that; blindly put faith in things or people I loved. Love left when my red-roofed house ignited with one swift lightning bolt. All that was found in the rubble was my sister’s copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone and a severely charred copy of my mom’s favorite Christmas movie.  My name was lost within licks of flames, crushed into nothing but ashes. Three year olds rebound quickly, therefore my first heartbreak didn’t sting for too long.

Love visited again at five, not too long after the last. I had a pink tut that I was given. It was the embodiment of me in a piece of clothing; pink, sparkly, made of tulle. I wore it every day; to school, birthday parties, outside with friends. So many holes were shred into it, but I wore it despite that, despite the flaws. My mom couldn’t stand to see me adorning something so tattered. She threw it away. That heartbreak hurt a little more, but again, nothing unbearable. I got new clothes, and my world was right again.

Infatuation took over love’s place for a while. My attention was focused on small things and people for years and years; boys I was convinced I’d marry in the fourth grade, fads I fell obsessed with, exotic animals I was destined to own. The typical trials and tribulations of elementary school. These were all just quick bursts of what I assumed was love, but wasn’t mature enough to realize wasn’t. I never wish I realized then it wasn’t love though. Having a sense of false “love” when  you’re young is better than nothing. There’s things to look forward to and excited for. Being self-aware at the ripe age of ten doesn’t bode well, especially when your near future of high school is overflowing with that as well. Ignorance is bliss. Being in love and ignorant is a luxury. You only get that a handful of times.

// woah the end! haha I’m for sure NOT done with that, but that’s what I’ve conjured up so far. Hope you guys eNjOyEd!!!!

 

I forget just how forgetful I can be. I forget deadlines, names, necessities for life. Just a few minutes ago, I realized I had forgotten my badge back in my dorm room, so I was almost locked out of JI. I know that there are some ways to improve your memory, but I just never took the time to really think about them. I’ve heard of that tying a string around your finger, and I wonder if that really works. I saw that concept show up in a book I read last year. It’s supposed to be one of those old wives’ tales, but the string is supposed to “keep the thought” about whatever you were trying to remember there. 

There are other ways to improve your memory too. Drinking water, trying to meditate, and getting enough sleep are a couple of ways to try to improve your memory. I do only one of those – drink water. My sleep schedule isn’t the greatest. I usually go to sleep anywhere between 11 and 1, sometimes 2 on those odd nights, and I wake up at 6:25 to get ready for the day. I’ve never tried to meditate because let’s get real: the mind is scary. My mind is not “scary” though. It’s boring and there’s barely anything I can grasp that comes through my thought process. Anyway, I’m going to include a couple of links for those that want to learn more ways to improve your memory. 

14 Natural Ways to Improve Your Memory

Eight Ways to Remember Anything

The way I’ve imagined the way Generation Z and Social Media (all aspects of it.) is like that of a bad romance (cue Lady Gaga.)

You have this couple, they meet, start to learn a little bit about each other day by day, and then suddenly they are completely and utterly infatuated with the other. Sometimes, and definitely in this case, they become co-dependent. This can prove to be toxic, and harmful. Social media serves as the stereotypical “bad boyfriend.”

While some not see it as a luxury, Millennials got to grow up for a period of time without technology being the fore front of everything in their world. Advanced technology of smartphones, easy-access computers, etc. was still new and developing.

Gen Z’ers were born into a society where not only had technology advancements had soared, but they were starting to become an integral part of everyday life.

Some were useful. Hassle-free heart and breathing monitors to make sure cradle deaths were avoided; high-tech security systems to keep the household safe; even collar activated pet doors were invented so that the family life would remain undisturbed.

With these inventions, came new problems. Smart devices such as phones, tablets, and laptops brought social media. Social Media is a wonderful thing that allows communication be widespread. At a touch of a button people can catch up with their friends, let the country know of breaking news, and just waste time during dull moments. However, social media brings along with it a plethora of negatives.

The sweet honeymoon phase turns into a violent, toxic relationship. What used to be the positives, morph into an ugly monster.

Now instead of going to school and getting bullied, you can now get beaten down emotionally from home! Used to, there would be a safe space to hide yourself from the hate, but Generation Z is safe no more.

Unrealistic body images have also been set into the Gen Z’ers since birth. Images of extremely edited girls have been plastered on everything; billboards, benches, trucks, and every social media app imaginable. It’s easy to drown in it.

But even with those things, Gen Z still loves Social Media. They are totally and utterly in love with it despite it being horrible to them. Just like a bad relationship. Technology is only advancing. What to come for the next generation is ever scarier.

 

“Power isn’t control at all–power is strength and giving that strength to others. A leader isn’t someone who forces others to make him stronger; a leader is someone willing to give his strength to others that they may have the strength to stand on their own.” Beth Revis

I have always been called a “leader” and accepted it. I never really thought anything of it. It was a compliment; I knew that, and I would go around and tell people that I was one but could never explain why or how. I took the title without even knowing what was in the job description.

As I got older, I began to understand a little more. A leader helped people. A leader got others to do things they normally wouldn’t do. There are good leaders and bad leaders.  Growing up, I went from considering Superman the best leader in the world, to President Obama. I evolved, as did my understanding of the topic.

It wasn’t until high school that I really realized what leaders were. You don’t have to be famous or rule over a large group of people to be a leader. You can be a leader just through encouraging others, and by being an example to follow. As a leader, you don’t want a people to follow you; you want people to look at you while you are being kind or doing something productive and go off and do it themselves, not because you did it, but because it is the right thing to do.

Leadership is not about control; it’s about influence and inspiration. You don’t have to be this larger-than-life character to be a leader. You can just as easily be the girl who raises her hand before speaking or says yes ma’am and no sir. You can be the one who tells your friend “Hey, you’ve been drinking. Don’t get in the car.” Being a leader means caring about others and doing things to protect them or make sure they’re okay.

One time, a teacher told me that you must follow before you lead. This is a very true and important statement. In order to be a leader, you have to pick up on the needed characteristics of another leader. You must watch, listen, and be inspired by someone else. The way I see it, you cannot be a natural-born leader. Being a leader is something you get genetically. You have to work at it. You have to learn the art of it. Another thing that teacher told me was that some people are perfectly happy being followers, and that is quite alright. Leading isn’t for everyone. Some people don’t want to handle such responsibilities, but I feel that everyone has the potential to lead. Some just prefer not to.

Leaders are very important. Many of us rely on leadership in rough times, especially within teams. There needs to be one person who can consider every opinion, make a decision, and make sure everyone is on the same page. Without leaders, there is chaos. Society would be completely dilapidated without them. I mean, really think about it. If the world was just a bunch of indecisive, naive followers then nothing would ever get done. The world would be bare. We wouldn’t have any technology, shelters, even farms needed leaders. Someone needs to call the shots.

Now, as I previously mentioned, there are good leaders and bad leaders. Hitler, for instance, was manipulative and a liar. Martin Luther King Jr. wasn’t perfect, but he stood up for a good cause. He inspired people and was honest with the people he led. He did not stand for the harm of others. He showed kindness, respect, and good qualities of leadership. Gandhi had a lot of the same ideals. Good leaders want what is best for everyone, not just what is best for them.

I have been called a leader for most of my life, and now that I fully understand the concept, I am proud to be considered as such. I try my best each day to present myself with the qualities that describe leadership because I truly believe that without leadership, good leadership at that, there would be no prospering. I’m glad to say that I help the world prosper.

it’s hard to distinguish between flowers and things that smell nice

yet here I am

floating through the room with you

in a perfumed bubble

not quite knowing for sure which you are

 

muscles pulse in chests

and I forget who I am, just for a moment

to let you define me,

to absorb the air around me until I too smell of roses and daisies

then forget to worry if it’s really them, or just toxic liquid

 

high risk, high reward

I enjoy it too much to let it go

maybe I will faint or choke on the poisoned air

perhaps I will lie in the garden

but now, I will breathe it in regardless

Want to know what frustrates me? Since the age of four, I have slaved every day for eight hours over work that I will never have to worry about again, after I graduate from high school. Don’t get me wrong, when I first began schooling, I absolutely loved it. I was able to go sit in a class with my friends for eight hours, say my ABC’s and 123’s, take a nap, go home, and let my mama take care of me. Who wouldn’t want to live that life? Then, as the years went on, my days slowly but surely seemed to have gotten longer. Yes, I still had my friends, but we were doing more than saying our ABS’s and 123’s, and my nap was taken away. Can you imagine as a kid how that feels?

By the fifth grade, I was not only doing more than saying my ABC’s and 123’s, but I was fighting for a top spot in my class. I can not speak for anyone else’s school, but the students I was mentally fighting with were pretty dang good. The teachers would use reverse psychology on us to make us more competitive with one another. It got to the point where assignments and tests were no longer assignments and tests. It was just another “to-do” of who could finish first with the most correct.

And now that I am close to the end of my first educational journey, I am starting to become a little terrified. I am really about to be out here, living in this cruel world, alone. I will be without my mother, my grandmother, my handful of “friends”, and any other form of guidance. I will be out here making decisions for myself without having to check with anyone and all of that. You know, now that I am really getting it all out, I think I am a little more than terrified. I am scared out of my mind. I have so many un-answered questions about this whole living on my own situation. Where do I stay? What will I do, career wise? When will my family start? How will I deal with that? So much runs through my mind with this particular topic, it is literally ridiculous.

Do you know what is even more frustrating? The fact that I know this. It literally crosses my mind every single day. “After this year and after I graduate, I will never need this stuff again?” Somebody has got to understand what I am feeling.

 

Kerri’s Theory On The Universe

What is the Earth? Some people say the Earth is round. Some say it’s flat. I’ve even heard one theory about the earth being a bowl. Now, I never pick sides, but I always like to one-up them and say,

“You believe in the Earth?”

One could say, ‘Kerri, you live on earth.’ Believe me, I am fully aware of that. However, I believe in a much larger picture. I believe the earth is a sponge in the shape of an egg, and it’s sitting in a restaurant in the real universe.

If the earth is a sponge, we are the harmful bacteria living and growing inside it. The more we reproduce, the worse the sponge gets. It starts growing mold, it starts to fall apart. The more they try to kill us, the more intelligent and advanced we become. We find ways to survive in the harsh conditions- as if we were a new strand of the flu virus. We collect all the dirt and grime, and use it to form our empires. Roads, buildings, cars….It all comes from what we have gotten while cleaning up the plates. Even our most precious resources come from us cleaning. Gold, for example, is just the yellow paint that chips off of fancy plates.

Our oceans are just sink water that’s becoming increasingly dirtier the longer it sits there. The rain is the new sink water that’s being used to wash dishes. As the sponge is scrubbed against the plate- we experience harsh weather conditions. Therefore making dishwashing time where our hurricanes and tsunamis come from. If the employee is doing it with minimum effort, it is only a wave in the ocean.

Now, let’s say we got left in the freezer overnight. We would have an ice age. Only some bacteria can live in those conditions, but once taken out of that environment would die. We have already had that happen with the mammoth-like bacteria. All that ice melts away eventually, right? Just like how the arctic areas are slowly but surely melting. The world is warming and defreezing. That’s what we think. In reality, The sponge has been taken out of the freezer. It’s thawing out.

The sun is a light bulb. We see it from a distance, and it keeps us warm. However, we can’t touch it, or we’ll die. As if we, the bacteria, were killed from extreme temperatures. What about the clouds? The clouds are just steam rising from the stove.  When the sun isn’t visible, and everything is dark- that’s the restaurant closing for the night. Sometimes there are unexplained periods of darkness. Sometimes there are solar eclipses. That can be either one of two things. One, the light bulb is being changed. Two, there is a power outage. At the end of the day though, we still have a light source,  and that would be what we call the moon and stars. The moon is the security system they turn on for the night, and the light signals it is armed. The stars are the streetlights outside the restaurant

What about religion? I believe religion comes from the employees. Whichever one has to wash dishes that day- one side of the sponge will see them, and praise them as a higher being. They will say there is a reason for all those floods, those tsunamis. That it is their gods will. In reality, we are not cared about at all. We are only being used, being controlled for the sake of that higher being. This would also explain why there are so many religions,as there are many employees over the years that wash dishes. Jesus? An employee with long hair and loose clothes. Satan? Emo guy who shops at their equivalent of a hot topic. Sometimes he has a sunburn.  Buddha? The big guy who laughs a lot. They’re all well known, just more so on certain sides of the sponge. Their stories are written down, but truly it is us listening in on their conversations with other workers. Jesus tells the story of the time he got nailed. Satan tells the beef between him and Jesus’s dad. We eavesdrop, and form a religion.

So, you may be wondering about space. If the earth is a sponge, there are holes. Those holes are used to escape into space. However, due to the limited number of color cones in our eyes, we are unable to see everything. Therefore we think space is dark. It is the kitchen, and it is so vast that we cannot see far beyond the sink we are in. The other planets are also sponges, all of different brands. Even pluto is a fraction of an old sponge that’s crumbled over time.

Using all of this information, I find it very possible that the Earth is just a mere sponge in a much larger world. There could be a whole other world (literally) of possibilities. There could be technology beyond our beliefs, people more amazing than anything or anyone in our history. The other world could be a paradise or dystopian world, yet we will never know. We are too small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. We aren’t powerful. We don’t even get to pass as aliens. We are microorganisms, bacteria in a small, somewhat useful object.

Soon, and by soon I mean literally when this blog posts, I’ll be 17. That’s entirely too old for me, haha. In all honesty, I’m not ready. I grew up thinking that I’d stay a child forever but after January 30th, I’ll have only a year left until adulthood. I feel terrible that I’m dreading it. Every year I seem to get more anxious once my birthday comes around and it’s hitting me so hard now. How am I supposed to process this? It’s really crazy to me. I’ve always had an irrational fear of the future. I can’t think about it much without going into a wild panic attack or worrying too much. Adulthood has always been my biggest fear. Now, it’s staring me dead in my face, beckoning me to come towards it and accept it. I probably sound silly but I am genuinely terrified. With age comes so much responsibility and even though my mom has prepared me for that moment, I still don’t know if I can really do that. I’m constantly wondering where I’m going to be in the future or what I’ll be doing. I want to be traveling, going places like Japan and Amsterdam and Australia. I want to live somewhere in Montreal or Quebec, Canada. I want to be able to stay happy with my life and still be able to provide for myself. However, I’m so afraid that those things won’t become possible. It’s crossed my mind so many times that I may just have to settle for some type of mediocre job and that I won’t achieve genuine happiness and I promise that that thought alone is enough to send me into a panic. It sucks when people tell me I should be happier to celebrate my birthday and I am happy because I made another year but it’s so hard for me to enjoy it completely due to that looming fear that’s been shoved to the back of my head so many times. Love that. Happy birthday to me. 

I have a terrible habit of starting things and not finishing things. I’ve stated that in the second to last post, given. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I have little to no motivation and when I do have little motivation, I let things go. Like very quickly. I feel as if the work isn’t the best or that I won’t really get far with it. It’s not that I don’t want to work on things, though. Believe me, my work is typically what I’m most proud of, despite my doubts. I just don’t know how to keep my mind steady on one thing or subject or whatever it may be. I genuinely miss being able to keep my flow and whatnot whenever I wrote or drew something. Ideas would bounce around in my head and it was so great. Now, though, I have such a hard time focusing directly on what I’m working on. I feel like I’m running on empty when I’m doing assignments and I refuse to just do the bare minimum, especially when it’s my discipline work. Turning in mediocre work makes me irritated with myself because I know I can do a lot better than what I’d turned in. I love being happy with what I do. When my motivation started to deplete, I told myself I either do the best that I can, or nothing at all. Nothing mediocre. At the time, I didn’t realize how dumb I sounded but after a couple hours of brainstorming and planning, I realized that I did, in fact, sound crazy. I want to find something that motivates me again and helps me bring back that flowing thought process. I have no clue how to, though, and it actually bothers me. But, I’ll figure it out, of course, and soon I’ll be spewing words fluidly on a page again with no hesitation!

What is the point in life? Is it to find love and settle down? Is it to pursue a career? Is it to go on an adventure and just enjoy life? 

Why do humans feel like there is always something else to life? What is the point? We always search for answers to life’s “most important” questions, but are there really answers to those questions? 

Why do people fear life or living? What is there to fear besides a bit of rejection? Is there any way to move past these fears of life? 

What do you question about life? What are your fears?