Category: Junior Literary

I am still working on my Punk blog but in the meantime, I wanted to update you on the music I’ve been into recently and I kind of want to talk a bit about my style and what I’ve realized. 

So the first order of business is my music. I have really been into a summer vibe of music recently. I am very excited and ready for my summer to begin. The first song I want to talk about is Bravado by Lorde. This song feels as though it fits within teenage and summer times. It has a unique sound that makes you almost nostalgic yet wanting to move forward and experience life. The song is about Lorde’s own experience with shyness and introversion and how she overcomes these obstacles while being a public performer. It’s a “pep talk” for herself in this way. She addresses how she has to embrace confidence and ‘put it on’ for her performances. I have been listing to this song a lot lately because I love the way Lorde writes her songs. I like the lyrics and I also like the emotion it conveys.  I have also been listening to Noah Khan a lot recently. Noah Khan has a bunch or songs that have that free summer type of feeling to them. He writes about his depression, anxiety, and difficulties and how he deals with them. He uses his songs like diary entries or a journal. He makes them as specific or as generic as he wants. He writes the music to have feeling and that is his goal. I have been listening to him a lot just due to how much I relate summer to him. Last summer I had a friend who was really into Noah Khan and we listened to him a lot so now I relate his songs to summer and to that friend. I really like Noah Kahn and find myself relating to some of his songs. I have also been listening to a band I found recently called ‘The Story So Far’. They are a pop punk band and their songs focus on both the angsty breakup side of pop-punk as well as the more mature, introspective, and growth side of pop-punk. 

I have been going through my Pinterest recently and organizing it (or at least trying to) and I have found a bit of stuff I am interested in as well as who I am as a person. I have found that I am either a summer or fall girl. No in between. I have found that I really like patterns and certain pastel or deep color schemes. I have found that I really liked and still like art and need to begin drawing again. I have realized how much I would like to travel and see the world a bit before I am too old to do so. These are things I have thought about but not in depth and i think would be good to look into and find out why I like these things. I feel like this would be a good exercise for trying to understand yourself and find yourself. I feel like it is a good way to find yourself on a deeper level. 

So, this is what I am thinking of doing for the month of April. I am going to look through my music, my Pinterest, my interests, and my dislikes. I am going to write about each one in a journal and find out the meaning they have to me. Everything needs meaning and connection. Without these things we have no purpose. 

Part 1: The Coast. 

As a teenager, the idea of living in the country was appalling. Originally from the coast with so much to do. Good drinks, food and places to go would stick with you like tree sap between your fingers. Although raised on an open pasture and a big red barn, some wild oaks and dogs further out of the city limits (to the coast that was more “country”) It wasn’t what I have now and despite the memories, I prefer what I have now. 

When I was younger, not thinking much about life as a teenager does, I never expected our move to Brookhaven to have been premeditated (sort of). Back on the coast, my family had moved down there in the years my brain can’t remember, from my youth, when my dad had gotten a job as a football coach for the Ocean Springs Greyhounds and would work there up until retirement from public school as the Head Football coach. 

And that was my life, for the first half. 

But there are somethings the coast will teach you differently. Somethings, that when you grow up around it shapes you in an odd way. The coast will teach you a lot about people, money and generation.  From a child’s perspective, you don’t question much about your parents lives but more your own and your friends, suddenly the month before school lets out for summer, new kids move in to newly built (highly expensive) houses. Parents meet other parents and introduce their children. And over the summer some friends grew apart and the return to school after the summer was always the worst. Trends, Manipulation, Hypocrisy and Betrayal spreads like wildfire within young minds and attitudes.

(I would really enjoy to deep dive into the behavior and shaping’s of this, but I keep reminding myself this is a blog not a biography, sorry.) 

Point is, this was the newly developed trend in the generation that bled into a part of the world that wasn’t fully associated with the new change and in my opinion adapted in the worst way possible. 

I plan to write more about this on my own free time on a more expansive level, but I miss the coast that was. Not what it is now. 

Two weeks ago, or it will be two weeks ago when this is posted, in my fourth block class, Practicum in Literary Arts, we began to discuss Manifestos. A Manifesto is a public written statement declaring the intentions, motives, or views of its user (individual, group, political party, organization). The second I heard the word “Manifesto,” my mind went back to when I first learned what it meant. A few years ago, I learned of Elliot Rodger and his manifesto. Elliot Rodger, the “incel hero”. This brings me to the topic of my blog today, incels.

An “Incel” is an involuntarily celibate man who expresses extreme resentment toward those who are not. Incels typically express their frustrations of being unable to form romantic attachments as hostility and misogyny towards women. This is ironic because a woman created the term incel through her website, “Alana’s Involuntary Celibacy Project.”  The purpose of the online community was to provide a safe space for individuals, both male and female, who found it difficult to form romantic connections. Throughout the years, the term began to be used primarily by men in online communities. These men created ideologies that men, particularly white men, were entitled to romance.

Incel’s viewed themselves as “Beta males”, the opposite of the “Chads.” Chads represent the attractive, financially and socially successful men. “Stacys” are the women who desire “Chads”. Incel culture has been linked to several acts of terrorism against women, most notably Elliot Rodger. Due to acts of violence associated with the Incel community, the Southern Poverty Law Center has classified Incels as a hate group. Additionally, the U.S Secret Service’s National Threat Assessment declared the community as a growing terrorism threat.

The Incel community is scary, dangerous, and quite sad. It’s not something anyone should be associated with. Not only does the community encourage misogyny, nihilism, hate, and violence, but it’s also terrible for the mental health of those involved. Shocker, right? Researchers have found that 75% of incels could be clinically diagnosed with severe or moderate depression. 45% may have severe anxiety. I would also like to clarify that not all incels are violent; however, being a part of the community has led to violent acts.  

“Looksmaxxing”, in current years, has become more popular online. At this point, I’m sure everyone reading this has heard of it. “Looksmaxxing” originates from Incel culture, and it is truly terrifying to me how common it has become. Young men, start with looksmaxxing, look further into it, and find the incel community.  Honestly, this all goes way deeper than I will be able to get into with a single blog post, as there is so much to this horrifying community.

Thank you for reading, have a lovely day.

I feel the world through music. When we were assigned to do a listicle, I knew I wanted to write about the music that matters to me the most. With the lovely assistance of Lela’s peer review, I was able to curate the perfect list of 12 songs I use to see reality. All of these songs ARE very close to my heart; however, for the sake of my privacy I will not be mentioning anything TOO personal in this blog. Now you will realize that all of these songs are yes, sad, and yes, about relationships/heartbreak. If that’s something you’re not willing to hear me mansplain over and over… this may not be the blog for you, and I’ll see you next week! Without further ado, let’s get into this music. (BTW these are not listed in any particular order, and a lot of these were hard to place in a genre so if they are classified wrong, I’m sorry!)

1. Forget her by Jeff Buckley (Ballad). This song is about the post breakup experience. Jeff sings about going through the process of moving on from a girl who he loves. The mix of tragic lyrics mixed with the amazing instrumental brings us everything we need. The lyric, “She was heartache from the moment that you met her,” makes the song feel so complete. It kind of feels like when you realize you’ve been letting someone do you wrong. 
2. Everyone I’ve Never Met by Leith Ross (Indie Folk). This song is one of my favorites. It talks about how being shy is not for the weak. Human interaction is genuinely one of the most beautiful parts of life, yet some people do anything they can do to avoid it. In several cases, a lack of human interaction causes paranoia and depression. A lyric that stands out to me is, “Highways make me fidget. There are way too many cars, and I’m sure I’d like the drivers if we pulled aside to talk, but from my window, they are just a bumper and a light.” 
3. I Know It’s Over by The Smiths (Alternative Indie). This song encapsulates the feeling of being led on. It also makes me think of wanting the world to be more than it is. Through the voice of the singer, you can feel his pain in the moment. The lyrics are hard to miss. Two lyrics that stand out to me are, “I know it’s over, and it never really began, but in my heart it was so real,” and, “It’s so easy to laugh, it’s so easy to hate. It takes guts to be gentle and kind.”  
4. Linger by The Cranberries (Pop Rock). This song is about the feeling of wanting to be free after being in an unfaithful relationship. It’s about having to be around the same person who said loved you after the truth was revealed.  The feeling of confusion and frustration is the main focus of this song. The lyrics, “If you could get by trying not to lie things wouldn’t be so confused, and I wouldn’t feel so used, but you always really knew I just wanna be with you. And I’m in so deep. You know I’m such a fool for you,” show that the singer was deeply hurt about whatever happened to her. 
5. A Pearl by Mitski (Indie Rock). Mitski used this song as a way to communicate to her partner that her problems are not their fault. Mitski used this song as an apology for not being able to be all that her partner needs. She uses a pearl as a symbol for her mental struggles. The lyrics, “You’re growing tired of me. You love me so hard and I still can’t sleep. You’re growing tired of me, and all the things I don’t talk about. Sorry I don’t want your touch. It’s not that I don’t want you,” help you clarify what this song is truly about. 
6. I’ll Wonder When by Sarah Lola (Jazz Fusion). This song is a ballad for those who have been broken up with out of the blue. It’s a song about letting your guard down and being screwed over. It’s a story about a girl who stopped letting people in after she was proved right. In this song, Sarah gives raw deep feelings. She lays out her message right in front of us and covers it with beautiful vocals and piano. “He loved me, yet left me. He left me all alone which is funny, cause he loved me first. Don’t wanna learn to heal again. Don’t want the touch of a man to remind me of the one who ran.” These lyrics are strong. 
7. The Chain by Fleetwood Mac (Rock). This song is a bit different from the others on here. This song is a combination of wonderful singers, messy band drama, and pure passion. The fact that Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham sing this song to each other may make me a bit biased to this one. In the end, these lyrics take this song to the next level. The chorus speaks beautifully to us. “And if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again. I can still hear you saying you would never break the chain.” 
8. The Sick by Bella Kay (Alternative). This song is about forcing yourself to be in a bad relationship. It’s about the realization that you are sabotaging yourself. The idea of ruining yourself on purpose is so interesting to me. In this song she says she HAS to. “I think part of you hated me, so all of me was survivin’ you. There is nothing better I could be. I love the sick because I have to.” 
9. I Know, I Know, I Know by ALINA (Pop). This song has always been very abstract to me. My interpretation of this song is that it’s explaining when a relationship is past the point of saving. When you have full clarity that something isn’t working, and no amount of talking will save it. The lyrics, “Draw another line, say a quick goodbye, never cared to take the time, baby. Look at me like that, are you feeling bad? I know you think I’m all attached, but I’m not an idiot, never thought you’d pick me, don’t got much to offer here, I know” show this. 
10.  It Ain’t Me, Babe by Timothee Chalamet and Monica Barbaro (Folk). To me, this song is about knowing you don’t have what it takes to make someone happy. It’s the clarity of knowing that you will not be good for someone, and not being willing to put them through unnecessary amounts of trouble. It’s the self control of just simply walking away. The lyrics mixed with this perfect harmony is enough to make anyone listen. “You say you’re lookin’ for someone who’ll pick you up each time you fall. To gather flowers constantly, and to come each time you call. A lover for your life and nothing more, But it ain’t me, babe.”
11.  I Just Threw out the Love of My Dreams by Weezer (Power Pop). This song is about throwing away a relationship for the better. It also talks about being forced to be around that person, and wanting to feel that same bond again but not being able to. Some lyrics that highlight this are, “He is in my eyes, he is in my ears. He is in my blood, he is in my tears. I breathe love, and see him everyday, even though my love is a world away.” 
12.  Briston by Sydney Rose (Pop). This song is a flurry of emotions. The anger of having all your special moments taken away by your ex, mixed with the sadness of someone who has just been taken advantage of. Sydney wrote this song as a wakeup message to her ex that he doesn’t know who she truly is. In this song, she says “You don’t know me,” 18 times. The chorus also captures the essence of heartbreak. “But I’m tired, I know it’s bad, but what if this is all I’m gonna get?” 

This is a good omens rant, if you’re tired of hearing me go on tangents about this then just scroll on by because this is about to be another very long tangent. 

Previously I had done a listicle on Good Omens in listing some of-not only my favorites-but also just super well-suited songs that fit the entire series as a whole but most importantly suited the dynamic of the two main protagonists: Crowley and Aziraphale. 

Now, in doing this listicle, we had a limit of 10-12 things to list, I had the full 12 but what if I told you that I had found a hidden gem, another song that so perfectly suited Good Omens as a whole? 

The song in which I speak of is titled, Love from the Other Side by Fallout Boy.

It is one of the most accurately fitting songs I’ve heard that precisely   describes not only the relationship dynamic between Crowley and Aziraphale but also adjacently delves into the exact antagonizing dilemma they face in their different natures with Crowley being a demon and Aziraphale who’s an Angel. (And an extra bonus of Aziraphale’s final decision the audience was left with at the end of s2)

Now to spare you the majority of this small rant, I’ll describe some of the lyrics in the song that pins these 3-4 claims. 

1.) “Sending my love from the other side of the Apocalypse.” Love of two different natures that used to be one in the same. Crowley and Aziraphale have to face both their natures head on and struggle with their own principals and loyalty to both Heaven and Hell, especially Aziraphale who desperately clings to Heaven as a principality. They also have/had to face Armageddon. 

2.) “Every Lovers got a little dagger in their hand.” This can be seen between the divine intervention or miracles Crowley and Aziraphale attempt to make two humans Nina and Maggie fall in love; however, Nina was bound to a toxic partner and Maggie had already fancied her. The second perspective would be Crowley’s point of view. Instead of a physical dagger, (which I mean Aziraphale did once have a flaming sword-) think of a more verbal dagger. Aziraphale hinted to a moment in the last episode of s2 that he would have loved for himself and Crowley to be together, but he’d prefer Crowley to return to his more angelic state. Another lyric that truly emphasize more on Aziraphale’s perspective in this moment would be “Nowhere left for us to go but Heaven.”  

3.) “What would you trade the pain for? I’m not sure.” Aziraphale had done a complete 180 to what the original battle was in the first season of Good Omens which was formulating a peaceful life on earth for Crowley and himself. But after the Metatron (the voice of God as described) had offered Aziraphale a position I presume to be an Archangel (technically taking his old boss’s (Gaberial) position). Between the two, Aziraphale argues with Crowley that Heaven were the good guys and that earth would be a lot better in their supervision even if the world ends; however, Crowley makes a very valid point to Aziraphale that the earth would be just as dead either way even as if hell were to end it. It didn’t matter which side they were on. So why trade the lives of the people and your own on earth if it were to all amount to the same thing in the end? 

Theres a lot more to this song that I could continue on about, but I’ll stop here for now. Let me know what you think. 

Later.  

This week’s blog is going to be about one of my favorite tv shows called vampire diaries. I became interested in this show because of twilight. I grew up watching it with my sisters and ended up falling in love with vampire movies and shows. Since then y’all would always see me watching stuff with vampires, witches, and werewolves.I ended up watching vampire diaries one day because I couldn’t find anything else to watch. I watched the first episode of it and was like umm ok but when I kept watching it, it got more and more interesting. I ended up stopping watching it because I got on the outer show called original. That show is also with vampire dairies, the same character and everything just telling from a different person point of view. Getting more in more into the original, going to school people would be talking about vampire diaries. That is what made me start back watching it. The drama in this show was outstanding. It was love triangles, there were evil twins, there were even originals trying to start stuff, it was so much and I love it.  

Let’s talk about the characters in this show shall we. The Salvatore brothers first. We have the sweet brother who turned evil and then back to good name Stefan. Stefan was the first to find Elena so he thought. Then Damon was the wild self care type. He did stuff that only benefited him, until Elena. Elena helped him see the good in him even though he didn’t deserve it. Well that’s what people think. Damon did what he did because he couldn’t trust anyone and he felt like it was Stefan’s fault he became a vampire and it was. They both fell in love with Elena but in the end she picked Damon. 

Stefan ended up getting with Caroline. At first Caroline was this popular diva who made things about her but when she became a vampire she changed. She became this strong mature loyal friend. She started to see a lot of different things in the world. Then the best friend who put everyone first (Bonnie) got hurt a lot and lost her loved ones. 

The main person would be Elena. She also put everyone before her. She didn’t think when it came to family she just acted on whatever. She loved both of the brothers, she lost all her loved ones as well and even blamed herself for her mom and dad’s death. She became a vampire and lost it for a while but that’s when she realized she loved Damon more.

Still trying to make eye catching titles! I really want to get better at interesting titles, and I hope this one lands well! This isn’t a self deprecating post… I’m talking about the second to last season of Ghosts! I’ll ask this question early on just in case y’all don’t get through it; if you were to be a ghost and could interact with the living in some way, what would be your ghost power?

Season four follows Mike and Allison’s endeavors as they open the gate house to the public as a BnB. The ghosts adapt fairly easily, this time it’s Mike and Allison struggling like crazy. The antics in this season are extra silly, but it evens out pretty well.

I can’t talk about my favorite episode. It’ll spoil a huge plot point, so I’ll talk about my second favorite. “Speak as ye Choose!” It’s a fantastic episode. This season we get to learn more about Mary, especially this episode. She’s actually gotten so far, that the beginning of the episode is all of the ghosts horrified by hearing about her death! The witch trialll yess!!! The whole A plot of the episode is Mary telling Julian how she as a past repressed woman gained her voice. The B plot follows the Captain trying to figure out life without a schedule, and he learns about just getting side-tracked with Kitty. He finds a bit of himself while Mary talks about how she found herself. Genuinely a beautiful episode!

This is another season where I don’t really have a least favorite, but if I had to pick it would be “Poached Guests.” There’s a new ghost that died just outside of the property, so their plot is just them bothering some poor dude. He fakes moving on so they’ll leave him alone. Then Allison and Mike’s neighbor, Barclay Beg-Chetwynde, tries to steal their BnB ghosts. This starts a whole fight between them that ends with Barclay getting reported for planting asbestos in Button House. It’s all a pretty alright episode. I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it.

I think I’ll be able to get through this planned series of posts by the end of this year which makes me super happy. You know what else makes me super happy? A GHOSTS MOVIE WAS ANNOUNCED!!! THEY STARTED FILMING ON THE SECOND!!!!! I keep seeing behind the scenes pictures and it makes me so happy. I like to think that I manifested the movie by not shutting up about ghosts to y’all.

My heart is just so so happy y’all. I know that during our senior year I’ll be able to post about alllll the ghosts. If I’m not mistaken I think all of the original actors have been confirmed to be returning. Very exciting! Okay, that’s it for me, season four, and the movie announcement. ByeBye!

I was going to write a blog about the Punk community and continue that discussion, but I want to talk about something a bit different. I feel inspired to talk about the year overall and how I have been feeling recently. 

It feels like summer is almost here and I am so happy for that. I’m really excited for summer and to have a bit more free time to decompress. I am really excited however for senior year. This has made senior year be a big topic of my thoughts as of lately and I have been thinking a lot about what I want my senior year to be. 

I know it’s kind of cliche to want a good senior year and everything, but I do.  I want it to be fun and full of life. I want it to be full of creativity and motivation. I want it to be free of drama, and I want to be content with how my high school career ends if that makes sense. I want to be able to say I did what I wanted to do at the end of the many years of school. I want to be able to say my senior year was fun. 

In my eyes I see senior year as a different thing completely really. Maybe I have put it on a pedestal that it will never live up to, but I think a senior year should be full of activities with friends and it should feel like a weight being lifted because you are finally done with a chapter in your life. 

I am really hoping to have a great senior year and look forward to what it brings. I want to kind of talk a bit about what I want to do senior year almost as a bucket list if you will.

The main thing I am working toward for senior year is to win a few writing awards and submit a few IE’s (individual events) for MTA and Thescon next year (theatre competitions I go to every year). I have always wanted to advance with my IE’s but have never really had the motivation or time. I am going to ensure I have enough time to perfect them I am going to work with them over the summer. 

I also want to have a car senior year. I think that is one thing that is essential for a great senior year anywhere. With a car you can hang out with friends more sporadically and travel a bit more. These are things I think define a senior year.

I also think senior year is the most motivating time in a lot of people’s lives and sometimes the most productive. You are finally at the finish line, and you only have a little way to go so people are able to push through it without so much friction due to the light at the end of the very long tunnel. So that is what I want it to be to me in a way. I want it to be laid back yes, but I also want it to be a time of growth and hard work. I want to work really hard and get what I am working towards. I want to be able to have the balance a lot find senior year as far as fun, school, carefreeness, stability, and just overall contentment. 

I think to0 have these things though there comes a lot of work and preparation. So, I am making a decision to plan over the next few days and then during the summer work really hard during that break period to get where I want to be. I am going to overview my plan here to give you an idea of my plan.

I am planning to get all of my submissions (writing and theatre) prepared or at least roughly planned out as a strong idea or have a good grasp of it over the summer as well as plan a trip for senior year of the summer after senior year. I think a trip would be really fun and would help senior year truly feel like senior year. I am also planning to over the summer really tune into myself and who I am and what I want in life. I think that is a huge part of any year being good really, but I think this is a great opportunity to find myself. I also am going to reorganize my Spotify. My music is very important to me and so this is something that will definitely affect my year. If my playlists aren’t good, then life isn’t good lol. But overall, this summer I plan to really think. I want to think really hard and deeply about my art and why I do it. I want to find my purpose and find what it is that would truly benefit me as an artist whether that be in the writing world, music, theatre, visual art, media art worlds. I want to truly find a median between all of my artistic motivations and desires. 

It is going to be hard, but I think it will be worth it. 

P.S. Next blog will continue the information dumps about the Punk subculture.