Category: Junior Literary

I am in my head like should I do this, should I say this? Nah I might get looked at differently or people might think I’m crazy lol. You see that’s how I would normally think. At first, I was trying to stay this sweet and loving girl. I always put people before me; I did everything for others. I always put myself last. I think I care less about myself than I care for others. Ya’ll want to know why I say that. Let me tell y’all. If I even make somebody feel like I don’t care for them, make them get in their feelings, or even feel like I did them wrong in any type of way I’ll beat myself up about it and break down and cry, but now I’m different.

I stop being that girl who carried so much. I’m not that girl who just sits back and lets people run over her anymore. I let a lot of things past growing up. I gave people chance after chance and kept getting hurt and used now I do people how they do me. I go off on people without thinking now, I look at people all types of ways.I stop caring about how I make people feel. I stop helping out with other people’s problems. I never thought I would be like this but after getting run over and playing with a lot in life trust me, you’re going to wanna stop being that loving person as well. You might think to yourself, Why are people like this? Why do people want you to treat them like they are a queen, a king or somebody so special when they are not even giving you that same treatment? People nowadays think they are just the stuff for real.

I just got tired of getting hurt over and over aging. My whole life I tried to be me but it seems like me being me isn’t good enough so i’m bringing out the new and mean me. If people don’t like it they just have to go by their day and find something else to do. I’m not doing anything nice for no one. Unless it’s my family and my real friends, but other than that nope. I low key hope people can see that I’m changing for me and not for others.

That’s it for this blog, hope you had or have a good day, thank you for reading.

Great title, Nick! Thanks, Nick! Wow guys… season five. We’re in the home stretch now. Ghosts season five. The last season!!! I’ll admit to y’all now, this post is gonna be shorter than my usual ones. There are a lot of things that I don’t want to spoil this season! It’s a ton of very important reveals to everyone’s stories, so I’m gonna have to leave y’all on a little bit of a cliffhanger this time!

I do want to talk about this season, but really I’ve gotta keep my lips shut. Just know that my favorite episodes are the last two because…. UGH. Really, what I’ll be talking about this week is more of a drabble about the American version of Ghosts! For my own ease, I’ll be referring to the British version as BBC and the American version as CBS.

I don’t like the CBS version very much. While it is nice to be able to tune into the show like I used to, it’s just not the same. First, I’ll talk about the cast size.

There are just way too many cooks in this kitchen. I get it, big house and big history, but it’s way too many characters for what it’s supposed to be. I mean, there are multiple occasions of ghosts appearing for just on episode. One! In a show about dead people who shouldn’t be able to leave their property! The cast of main ghosts is already big enough. In looking for photos of them, it’s difficult to find clips of the show where they’re all together, but there’s only promo pictures! Also, they usually don’t have all the ghosts on set because there’s too many of them! They don’t feel realistic either.

They’re all way too modern for the time they’re supposed to be from. Genuinely an issue I have is that they don’t lean into the fact that they’re dead people from certain eras. Usually their timelines are used for one joke each, then they go to basically a sitcom without a laugh track, or hands. It’s like the writers don’t know what to do with the ghosts sometimes. There are multiple occasions of the ghosts just standing in a line saying quirky quips as Sam, CBS’s Allison, talks to a real person and looks mildly dismayed.

Look how bright everything is! This doesn’t look like a show about dead people. If you cut out the title it’d all look like a weird costume party. The show is funny don’t get me wrong, but it’s just not as charming. The cinematography is so bright and stiff, same with the costuming. These characters rarely have any growth, and when they thought one of the ghosts moved on they brought her back because she was a fan favorite! Ridiculous! They’re scared to do anything too major to their characters. Also, the show about dead people somehow managed to bury their gays.

If you aren’t familiar with that phrase, burying your gays is a homophobic writing tactic where a character is killed off shortly after they were on screen because they don’t want to have a queer character develop. Their Captain caricature, the one with the ruffled collar(his name is Isaac), has a whole plot line where he’d going to get married to a man! Then he falls in love with a living stripper! Then the stripper dies, but oh whoopty doo the dead stripper actually has a ghost power that lets him permanently leave the place he died! They don’t really bring back the ghost that Isaac was going to marry, and they just leave him. He’s a stereotype of a queer man and I don’t like him very much. It’s like they saw the jokes about the Captain being queer and thought “oh that means we can have a gay punching bag” rather than a complex man dealing with his internalized queerness! They joke about Isaac forcing himself to marry a woman if he never met Sam! Boo! Gross!

I need to calm down, I’m ranting a bit too much. Next week I’ll delve more into my thoughts on the Captain’s character. I needed to talk about my issues with CBS for a moment. So sorry for the long post this week! I’ll wrap it up there. Have such a good week, go see Mama Mia and tell me how it is because I won’t be able to go this weekend sadly. ByeBye!!

I am still working on my Punk blog but in the meantime, I wanted to update you on the music I’ve been into recently and I kind of want to talk a bit about my style and what I’ve realized. 

So the first order of business is my music. I have really been into a summer vibe of music recently. I am very excited and ready for my summer to begin. The first song I want to talk about is Bravado by Lorde. This song feels as though it fits within teenage and summer times. It has a unique sound that makes you almost nostalgic yet wanting to move forward and experience life. The song is about Lorde’s own experience with shyness and introversion and how she overcomes these obstacles while being a public performer. It’s a “pep talk” for herself in this way. She addresses how she has to embrace confidence and ‘put it on’ for her performances. I have been listing to this song a lot lately because I love the way Lorde writes her songs. I like the lyrics and I also like the emotion it conveys.  I have also been listening to Noah Khan a lot recently. Noah Khan has a bunch or songs that have that free summer type of feeling to them. He writes about his depression, anxiety, and difficulties and how he deals with them. He uses his songs like diary entries or a journal. He makes them as specific or as generic as he wants. He writes the music to have feeling and that is his goal. I have been listening to him a lot just due to how much I relate summer to him. Last summer I had a friend who was really into Noah Khan and we listened to him a lot so now I relate his songs to summer and to that friend. I really like Noah Kahn and find myself relating to some of his songs. I have also been listening to a band I found recently called ‘The Story So Far’. They are a pop punk band and their songs focus on both the angsty breakup side of pop-punk as well as the more mature, introspective, and growth side of pop-punk. 

I have been going through my Pinterest recently and organizing it (or at least trying to) and I have found a bit of stuff I am interested in as well as who I am as a person. I have found that I am either a summer or fall girl. No in between. I have found that I really like patterns and certain pastel or deep color schemes. I have found that I really liked and still like art and need to begin drawing again. I have realized how much I would like to travel and see the world a bit before I am too old to do so. These are things I have thought about but not in depth and i think would be good to look into and find out why I like these things. I feel like this would be a good exercise for trying to understand yourself and find yourself. I feel like it is a good way to find yourself on a deeper level. 

So, this is what I am thinking of doing for the month of April. I am going to look through my music, my Pinterest, my interests, and my dislikes. I am going to write about each one in a journal and find out the meaning they have to me. Everything needs meaning and connection. Without these things we have no purpose. 

Part 1: The Coast. 

As a teenager, the idea of living in the country was appalling. Originally from the coast with so much to do. Good drinks, food and places to go would stick with you like tree sap between your fingers. Although raised on an open pasture and a big red barn, some wild oaks and dogs further out of the city limits (to the coast that was more “country”) It wasn’t what I have now and despite the memories, I prefer what I have now. 

When I was younger, not thinking much about life as a teenager does, I never expected our move to Brookhaven to have been premeditated (sort of). Back on the coast, my family had moved down there in the years my brain can’t remember, from my youth, when my dad had gotten a job as a football coach for the Ocean Springs Greyhounds and would work there up until retirement from public school as the Head Football coach. 

And that was my life, for the first half. 

But there are somethings the coast will teach you differently. Somethings, that when you grow up around it shapes you in an odd way. The coast will teach you a lot about people, money and generation.  From a child’s perspective, you don’t question much about your parents lives but more your own and your friends, suddenly the month before school lets out for summer, new kids move in to newly built (highly expensive) houses. Parents meet other parents and introduce their children. And over the summer some friends grew apart and the return to school after the summer was always the worst. Trends, Manipulation, Hypocrisy and Betrayal spreads like wildfire within young minds and attitudes.

(I would really enjoy to deep dive into the behavior and shaping’s of this, but I keep reminding myself this is a blog not a biography, sorry.) 

Point is, this was the newly developed trend in the generation that bled into a part of the world that wasn’t fully associated with the new change and in my opinion adapted in the worst way possible. 

I plan to write more about this on my own free time on a more expansive level, but I miss the coast that was. Not what it is now. 

Two weeks ago, or it will be two weeks ago when this is posted, in my fourth block class, Practicum in Literary Arts, we began to discuss Manifestos. A Manifesto is a public written statement declaring the intentions, motives, or views of its user (individual, group, political party, organization). The second I heard the word “Manifesto,” my mind went back to when I first learned what it meant. A few years ago, I learned of Elliot Rodger and his manifesto. Elliot Rodger, the “incel hero”. This brings me to the topic of my blog today, incels.

An “Incel” is an involuntarily celibate man who expresses extreme resentment toward those who are not. Incels typically express their frustrations of being unable to form romantic attachments as hostility and misogyny towards women. This is ironic because a woman created the term incel through her website, “Alana’s Involuntary Celibacy Project.”  The purpose of the online community was to provide a safe space for individuals, both male and female, who found it difficult to form romantic connections. Throughout the years, the term began to be used primarily by men in online communities. These men created ideologies that men, particularly white men, were entitled to romance.

Incel’s viewed themselves as “Beta males”, the opposite of the “Chads.” Chads represent the attractive, financially and socially successful men. “Stacys” are the women who desire “Chads”. Incel culture has been linked to several acts of terrorism against women, most notably Elliot Rodger. Due to acts of violence associated with the Incel community, the Southern Poverty Law Center has classified Incels as a hate group. Additionally, the U.S Secret Service’s National Threat Assessment declared the community as a growing terrorism threat.

The Incel community is scary, dangerous, and quite sad. It’s not something anyone should be associated with. Not only does the community encourage misogyny, nihilism, hate, and violence, but it’s also terrible for the mental health of those involved. Shocker, right? Researchers have found that 75% of incels could be clinically diagnosed with severe or moderate depression. 45% may have severe anxiety. I would also like to clarify that not all incels are violent; however, being a part of the community has led to violent acts.  

“Looksmaxxing”, in current years, has become more popular online. At this point, I’m sure everyone reading this has heard of it. “Looksmaxxing” originates from Incel culture, and it is truly terrifying to me how common it has become. Young men, start with looksmaxxing, look further into it, and find the incel community.  Honestly, this all goes way deeper than I will be able to get into with a single blog post, as there is so much to this horrifying community.

Thank you for reading, have a lovely day.

I feel the world through music. When we were assigned to do a listicle, I knew I wanted to write about the music that matters to me the most. With the lovely assistance of Lela’s peer review, I was able to curate the perfect list of 12 songs I use to see reality. All of these songs ARE very close to my heart; however, for the sake of my privacy I will not be mentioning anything TOO personal in this blog. Now you will realize that all of these songs are yes, sad, and yes, about relationships/heartbreak. If that’s something you’re not willing to hear me mansplain over and over… this may not be the blog for you, and I’ll see you next week! Without further ado, let’s get into this music. (BTW these are not listed in any particular order, and a lot of these were hard to place in a genre so if they are classified wrong, I’m sorry!)

1. Forget her by Jeff Buckley (Ballad). This song is about the post breakup experience. Jeff sings about going through the process of moving on from a girl who he loves. The mix of tragic lyrics mixed with the amazing instrumental brings us everything we need. The lyric, “She was heartache from the moment that you met her,” makes the song feel so complete. It kind of feels like when you realize you’ve been letting someone do you wrong. 
2. Everyone I’ve Never Met by Leith Ross (Indie Folk). This song is one of my favorites. It talks about how being shy is not for the weak. Human interaction is genuinely one of the most beautiful parts of life, yet some people do anything they can do to avoid it. In several cases, a lack of human interaction causes paranoia and depression. A lyric that stands out to me is, “Highways make me fidget. There are way too many cars, and I’m sure I’d like the drivers if we pulled aside to talk, but from my window, they are just a bumper and a light.” 
3. I Know It’s Over by The Smiths (Alternative Indie). This song encapsulates the feeling of being led on. It also makes me think of wanting the world to be more than it is. Through the voice of the singer, you can feel his pain in the moment. The lyrics are hard to miss. Two lyrics that stand out to me are, “I know it’s over, and it never really began, but in my heart it was so real,” and, “It’s so easy to laugh, it’s so easy to hate. It takes guts to be gentle and kind.”  
4. Linger by The Cranberries (Pop Rock). This song is about the feeling of wanting to be free after being in an unfaithful relationship. It’s about having to be around the same person who said loved you after the truth was revealed.  The feeling of confusion and frustration is the main focus of this song. The lyrics, “If you could get by trying not to lie things wouldn’t be so confused, and I wouldn’t feel so used, but you always really knew I just wanna be with you. And I’m in so deep. You know I’m such a fool for you,” show that the singer was deeply hurt about whatever happened to her. 
5. A Pearl by Mitski (Indie Rock). Mitski used this song as a way to communicate to her partner that her problems are not their fault. Mitski used this song as an apology for not being able to be all that her partner needs. She uses a pearl as a symbol for her mental struggles. The lyrics, “You’re growing tired of me. You love me so hard and I still can’t sleep. You’re growing tired of me, and all the things I don’t talk about. Sorry I don’t want your touch. It’s not that I don’t want you,” help you clarify what this song is truly about. 
6. I’ll Wonder When by Sarah Lola (Jazz Fusion). This song is a ballad for those who have been broken up with out of the blue. It’s a song about letting your guard down and being screwed over. It’s a story about a girl who stopped letting people in after she was proved right. In this song, Sarah gives raw deep feelings. She lays out her message right in front of us and covers it with beautiful vocals and piano. “He loved me, yet left me. He left me all alone which is funny, cause he loved me first. Don’t wanna learn to heal again. Don’t want the touch of a man to remind me of the one who ran.” These lyrics are strong. 
7. The Chain by Fleetwood Mac (Rock). This song is a bit different from the others on here. This song is a combination of wonderful singers, messy band drama, and pure passion. The fact that Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham sing this song to each other may make me a bit biased to this one. In the end, these lyrics take this song to the next level. The chorus speaks beautifully to us. “And if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again. I can still hear you saying you would never break the chain.” 
8. The Sick by Bella Kay (Alternative). This song is about forcing yourself to be in a bad relationship. It’s about the realization that you are sabotaging yourself. The idea of ruining yourself on purpose is so interesting to me. In this song she says she HAS to. “I think part of you hated me, so all of me was survivin’ you. There is nothing better I could be. I love the sick because I have to.” 
9. I Know, I Know, I Know by ALINA (Pop). This song has always been very abstract to me. My interpretation of this song is that it’s explaining when a relationship is past the point of saving. When you have full clarity that something isn’t working, and no amount of talking will save it. The lyrics, “Draw another line, say a quick goodbye, never cared to take the time, baby. Look at me like that, are you feeling bad? I know you think I’m all attached, but I’m not an idiot, never thought you’d pick me, don’t got much to offer here, I know” show this. 
10.  It Ain’t Me, Babe by Timothee Chalamet and Monica Barbaro (Folk). To me, this song is about knowing you don’t have what it takes to make someone happy. It’s the clarity of knowing that you will not be good for someone, and not being willing to put them through unnecessary amounts of trouble. It’s the self control of just simply walking away. The lyrics mixed with this perfect harmony is enough to make anyone listen. “You say you’re lookin’ for someone who’ll pick you up each time you fall. To gather flowers constantly, and to come each time you call. A lover for your life and nothing more, But it ain’t me, babe.”
11.  I Just Threw out the Love of My Dreams by Weezer (Power Pop). This song is about throwing away a relationship for the better. It also talks about being forced to be around that person, and wanting to feel that same bond again but not being able to. Some lyrics that highlight this are, “He is in my eyes, he is in my ears. He is in my blood, he is in my tears. I breathe love, and see him everyday, even though my love is a world away.” 
12.  Briston by Sydney Rose (Pop). This song is a flurry of emotions. The anger of having all your special moments taken away by your ex, mixed with the sadness of someone who has just been taken advantage of. Sydney wrote this song as a wakeup message to her ex that he doesn’t know who she truly is. In this song, she says “You don’t know me,” 18 times. The chorus also captures the essence of heartbreak. “But I’m tired, I know it’s bad, but what if this is all I’m gonna get?” 

This is a good omens rant, if you’re tired of hearing me go on tangents about this then just scroll on by because this is about to be another very long tangent. 

Previously I had done a listicle on Good Omens in listing some of-not only my favorites-but also just super well-suited songs that fit the entire series as a whole but most importantly suited the dynamic of the two main protagonists: Crowley and Aziraphale. 

Now, in doing this listicle, we had a limit of 10-12 things to list, I had the full 12 but what if I told you that I had found a hidden gem, another song that so perfectly suited Good Omens as a whole? 

The song in which I speak of is titled, Love from the Other Side by Fallout Boy.

It is one of the most accurately fitting songs I’ve heard that precisely   describes not only the relationship dynamic between Crowley and Aziraphale but also adjacently delves into the exact antagonizing dilemma they face in their different natures with Crowley being a demon and Aziraphale who’s an Angel. (And an extra bonus of Aziraphale’s final decision the audience was left with at the end of s2)

Now to spare you the majority of this small rant, I’ll describe some of the lyrics in the song that pins these 3-4 claims. 

1.) “Sending my love from the other side of the Apocalypse.” Love of two different natures that used to be one in the same. Crowley and Aziraphale have to face both their natures head on and struggle with their own principals and loyalty to both Heaven and Hell, especially Aziraphale who desperately clings to Heaven as a principality. They also have/had to face Armageddon. 

2.) “Every Lovers got a little dagger in their hand.” This can be seen between the divine intervention or miracles Crowley and Aziraphale attempt to make two humans Nina and Maggie fall in love; however, Nina was bound to a toxic partner and Maggie had already fancied her. The second perspective would be Crowley’s point of view. Instead of a physical dagger, (which I mean Aziraphale did once have a flaming sword-) think of a more verbal dagger. Aziraphale hinted to a moment in the last episode of s2 that he would have loved for himself and Crowley to be together, but he’d prefer Crowley to return to his more angelic state. Another lyric that truly emphasize more on Aziraphale’s perspective in this moment would be “Nowhere left for us to go but Heaven.”  

3.) “What would you trade the pain for? I’m not sure.” Aziraphale had done a complete 180 to what the original battle was in the first season of Good Omens which was formulating a peaceful life on earth for Crowley and himself. But after the Metatron (the voice of God as described) had offered Aziraphale a position I presume to be an Archangel (technically taking his old boss’s (Gaberial) position). Between the two, Aziraphale argues with Crowley that Heaven were the good guys and that earth would be a lot better in their supervision even if the world ends; however, Crowley makes a very valid point to Aziraphale that the earth would be just as dead either way even as if hell were to end it. It didn’t matter which side they were on. So why trade the lives of the people and your own on earth if it were to all amount to the same thing in the end? 

Theres a lot more to this song that I could continue on about, but I’ll stop here for now. Let me know what you think. 

Later.