Since I’ve started my senior year of high school, I’ve adopted a very special personal project. Unfortunately it’s not a YouTube channel, a new sketchbook, or a novel (yet!). I’ve started a journey to heal my inner child! When I began, I didn’t intend for this to be a fully structured journey. It was more so a way of living that I wanted to establish for myself. I simply decided: I’m going to start doing things for little me rather than anyone else.
Everyone’s heard the term “healing your inner child,” maybe even too much. But as a 17-soon-turning-18-year-old, I think it’s a really important journey for everyone to go on regardless of age. In teenagers, it directs you on a path that might help limit the stress of graduating, college-searching, and the incoming terror of officially being an adult. And if you’re not a teenager, maybe an adult, I think healing your inner child is still a worthy journey to go on. Your childhood years are even further from your moment in life so I can see it being even more gratifying.
I think an idea I see a lot is that you can get to a point where your inner child is healed and you’re done forever. I don’t really see it that way, I believe it’s a constant practice. You can’t go back into time and actually change the way that things happened in your childhood. Even if you think your inner child is “healed”, you wouldn’t be the same if your childhood was never hurt (as sad as it is to admit). So why stop there?
While healing my inner child, I’ve learned that it gets worse before it gets better, but that can be said for a lot of things in life. There’ve been many dips in my journey and I honestly think those are very necessary in doing it effectively. (Note: I thought about saying “right” rather than “effectively” and I want to use this as an opportunity to say there’s no right way to heal your inner child. My description of my own journey is no way a series of instructions. It’s more of a preparatory description of this kind of project and what I’ve been experiencing.)
When retracing your steps to your most formative years, you’ll probably be reminded of unpleasant moments. You might also become depressed thinking about childhood. It sounds terrible to say that it’s normal but in this context, I’m sure it is. Starting your journey is difficult when you have to go back in time to the reason why your childhood doesn’t feel fulfilled. Also nostalgia is a sickening feeling and you’ll have it constantly in your journey, just adding to that depression.
I’ve realized that healing your inner child is also extremely embarrassing! I’m humiliated to admit that I watch My Little Pony, Aphmau’s MyStreet series, and 10-year-old LDShadowlady and Vixella videos. But that’s literally what it’s about. It’s embarrassing and that’s perfectly fine. If it makes you happy deep down in your soul, where the little you resides, that is all that matters.
After it gets better, though, it’s unbelievably rewarding. You feel free and your life becomes yours again. It’s fun when you live for that little kid you used to be. There’s still some major dips but I think that just comes with high school.
When you think you’re done, when your inner child feels healed enough to move on, it’s important to keep catering to that little you so your progress doesn’t get rewritten as you enter a new stage in your life. Keep watching that childhood favorite show when things in college get hard, keep pursuing that childhood dream as a hobby when your job feels like it’s asking too much of you, keep doing things the younger you loved when you feel lost.
The reason I think things like this are so important is because I believe our child selves are the truest versions of us. That’s us before any wrong doings from older generations, before the terrifying experience of growing up, before the stresses of society and adult life. Those things change us for the worse. They make us angry, scared, and small minded. Live as if the little you is controlling the organic machine of your brain. You’ll take more risks, say no to things you actually wanted to say no to and yes to things you wanted to say yes to, you’ll laugh more, play more, generally do more things that give you an archive of experiences that change you for the better.
I feel silly being not even 18 talking about the horrors of being an adult. I haven’t even gotten there yet, but I’ll admit that I am terrified. Imagine it’s not even that bad for me when I get there (I highly doubt it). Maybe it won’t be if I’m already preparing like this.
This was partially an excuse to be able to talk about how proud I’ve made my younger self. I’m pursuing her dreams of being an author and I’m working on fulfilling her dream of having a YouTube channel. I’m dyeing my hair the way she’s always wanted, and I’ve never been happier with how it looks. And I’m being extremely cringe like she always was. That’s really what this post is about, I just didn’t know how to gracefully fit it in here.
I’ve also been on this journey of healing my inner child and it’s so difficult, but it is so rewarding! This is soso real too. I’ve been watching things I know my younger self would love and it makes me so happy. Very worth the storm before the calm 😛
I think this is so important and something that more people need to talk about. There’s this shame of youth that so many people adopt when they become an “adult” that I find so strange and unnatural. People become embarassed of “childish” hobbies and interests and shame other people for enjoying them. This is the same reason I don’t trust people who don’t like kids. I understand not wanting to take care of an infant 24/7, but if you refuse to babysit a 6 year old because you “hate kids” and don’t want to watch their favorite tv-shows, I don’t trust you. There is nothing wrong with being “childish” and enjoying things just because. Maturity has become a symbol of societal value for some reason and I find it so weird. I think that the most mature thing you can do/be is comfortable within yourself and your interests. I’m so happy for you Steph and I hope this journey continues well!
I loved reading this! You have the biggest sense of wonder out of any of my friends and I’m so glad to hear that it stems from a purposeful reclaiming. I think that now is the perfect time to start thinking about healing one’s inner child while still in the safety net of childhood and also being at the end of it.