Take your pillow back.
The one you slept on when you stayed the night.
Give him his pajama pants back.
The ones you wore at school when you got home sick.
He was your home at one time, wasn’t he?
Don’t let him kiss you or put his fingers on the back of your neck.
Like he would do when he was sorry but had too much pride to say it aloud.
Hold his dog instead of him when your laying in his bed.
Like you would do when his attention was solely on the television screen.
It was never really on you, was it?
Scratch out the letters of your name that are written on the wall in sharpie.
The hearts and doodles all over the house were drawn out of love.
Write him a letter that reminisces on the memories spent and time wasted.
The scars and bruises living in your skin were left out of hate.
Did you love or hate him?
Offer to wash his bed clothes because you know it smells like togetherness.
Wonder if he will function without you apart of him.
Mop his floors because you have spilt buckets of salt through the years.
Wonder if he will be okay.
Why do you care so much?
Turn the music up so loud that it drowns out his madness and yours.
That is the only thing you had in common.
Turn on the lights so steals away the darkness.
That is where you have lived for so long.
Are you ready to go?
Don’t be afraid to cry, but don’t let it make you weak.
Think of swimming for once, instead of drowning.
Don’t be rash or daring, but don’t cower at the words.
Stand with your spine for once, instead of your heart.
Aren’t you tired?
Press your lips to his cheek and wrap around him one more time.
Finally, detach yourself from that love.
Walk to the screen door and push it open with out looking back.
“I Love You, But Good-Bye.”
Leave.
Something I wrote out of pure toxicity. It’s important to know that love does not conquer all. There are so many things that play into the beauty of a healthy relationship, and if love is your only reason, then hopefully you know that sometimes that just isn’t enough.
i hope love can become something amazing for you in your next encounter with it. Wishing you the best.
This is the kind of writing that heals me. I love you Sav.