Growing up in a rather judgmental community, I heard a common phrase that as the older I got, the more repulsive it became. It would come up in the discussion of how we should strive to be in our life and in this discussion, people would share examples of others who “weren’t living righteously”. The examples would usually consist of the smaller and more relatable things such as people who cuss or vape. It’s the phrase “they’re such an awful person”, or, “I don’t like them; they’re a bad person.” First of all, this says a lot about your character if you base someone off of a life choice they make that you disagree with. Second of all, who are you to give anyone the title of being a “bad person”?
The stereotyping of a group of people is something I’ve never been able to do as I’ve been stereotyped against my whole life and will never bring that upon anyone else. It’s the same as being called something you’re not simply because you are misunderstood. You can’t blame people for misunderstanding if they have never been taught, but the best thing you can do is teach them in that moment as to allow them a better understanding.
Every time I hear someone say they don’t like someone because of a life choice they make, I question their thinking process with, “why should that have anything to do with who that person is?” I don’t understand how it can be so hard for people to dissociate others from their sins. They see them do something they don’t agree with and somehow think “Oh they’re a bad person.” But people are not their mistakes or their habits.
Especially recently, I try to focus on the good in people. It is hard for me to think someone is a bad person based off of a life decision that they’ve made or continue to make. I’ve come to notice that everyone has redeeming qualities in them that make them beautiful in their own way. It’s easy to look at the world as an awful place– it can be. But I try to look at it optimistically because I’ve seen how wonderful it can be.
In one of my favorite films, The Dark Knight, the morality and goodness of people is tested and studied by the greatest villain of all time, the Joker. In every one of his experiments, people turned against one another and killed each other over decisions they felt like they had to make. This supported his theory that he was trying to prove– that all people are bad and will choose evil given the right circumstance and if the right amount of pressure is applied.
However, there is a scene where people are trying to leave the city due to the chaos in Gotham, on two separate boats; one with the prisoners, and one with the citizens. A bomb was planted in each boat and a remote to set off the other boat’s bomb was placed on a wall. In order for one of these groups of people to survive, they must kill the other group. If neither of them actives the other ship’s bomb, they both die.
Now. I know this is dark- but it’s run off of the Joker’s thought process. He expects either the citizens to blow up the prisoners ship because prisoners don’t deserve to live over them- or he expects the prisoners to kill the citizens because they have no morals. Consequently, both groups of people die with this logic.
But as it turns out, The Joker was wrong. Even though the situation given was crucial, neither of the groups could kill each other. In fact, one of the prisoners took the remote and everyone around him suspected he would blow up the citizens ship, but instead, he threw the remote out the window.
With the comprehension that the prisoners wouldn’t kill the citizens, the citizens couldn’t kill the prisoners either. To Joker’s surprise, both groups were willing to die rather than killing one another.
This is my favorite scene in the movie because it is the first time that the groups find their humanity and value other lives other their own. Through this scene, we find that everyone has good in them– whether they be a prisoner or a law-abiding citizen.
This is not to say that you should always let the good overshadow the bad, but at least try not to let the bad overshadow the good– because if everyone has good in them, then they are human just like you.
Now for the closing: The question in the title asks if bad people really exist. First of all, you have to realize the difference between diseased mind and an evil mind. Also, the situation in which the sin committed should always be considered as should the question of “Are they a bad person? Or was the situation which they were placed in bad?” Anyways, to put it plainly: there are most definitely bad people in the world. But I know for a fact that there are more good people than there are bad, and with that in mind, it is up to you to decide if someone is bad or not. But keep in mind: don’t let one bad thing about them distract you from seeing them as a person that has good.
Thank you for reading:) I hoped you enjoyed this post and I hope you have a wonderful month.
Recently, I stumbled upon an article bywriterspractice.com. The article is about writer’s burnout: what it is, how it happens, and how to overcome it. Before reading this article, I had never heard of writer’s burnout, but it 100% described what I am going through. The article describes it as “looking at the page, hating the page, and questioning your entire identity as a writer, all for an extended period of time” which puts exactly how I’ve been feeling into words. Honestly, writing in general has been difficult for me lately, and I have been rethinking my entire life because I feel so lost and confused. The steps the article lists to overcome writer’s burnout really helped, and they are as follows:
Recognize the Problem
“You can’t move on without first recognizing that maybe something is wrong. Have you ever thought, ‘I just have nothing to say, no words to write.I don’t care about writing anymore. I have no new creative ideas. I never want to write again.’If so, you might be going through a writer’s burnout.” In the process of NaNoWriMo, I felt like a failure. Every day, I’d wake up, pull out my laptop, and swear I was going to make progress. Instead, I stared at that stupid, blinking bar for hours on end, before finally closing my laptop to hide under my mountain of blankets, as if hiding would make the shame and disappointment disappear. As someone who is somewhat of a perfectionist and planner, I try to be in complete control of all things in my life, but with this project, I felt totally out of my element. I’m not a novelist, and I never claimed to be, but maybe that was the problem. I think I went into this assignment with the wrong mindset. I went in not believing in myself, and I think I set my own self up for failure.
Don’t Stop Writing
“Write through the toil. It’s the only way to get to the other side.” I did it; I stopped writing. I gave in to the burn out and fear of imperfection, and that was my second mistake. I get so caught up in wanting everything I put my name on to be the best that I forget how to just write. It’s so tiring trying to be perfect all the time, but I feel so much pressure to do so. I often say, “If it’s not the best or it’s not perfect, why even do it?” I have slowly come to the realization that that isn’t the best mentality to have, but I’ve had that mindset for so long that I just don’t know how to break it. I should’ve pressed on. I should’ve followed through with my daily goals instead of simply avoiding them in fear not being good enough. Sometimes, I think, you just have to do the things you dread in order to become stronger and better.
Find Yourself (again)
“When you’re feeling lost in your writing, try taking a moment to remember who you are as a writer, and more importantly why you write. Remember your audience, your message, and most importantly, your voice.” As much as I hate to admit this, I have lost myself as a writer. I can’t even remember why I started writing or why I love(d) it. Last year, I had so much passion and drive for writing and for literary, but now, everything seems so bleak. I don’t know what it is, but I can’t seem to find that spark that I once had. I’ve lost my voice, and I don’t know how to get it back, but I fear I’ve lost it forever, which breaks my heart.
Don’t Try to Explain Yourself
“It’s a complicated and messy thing to try to explain why you set aside your most important projects. At first, even you might not know exactly why you had to switch gears, and that’s okay.” I struggled with this a lot during NaNoWriMo. During the break, for my story, I talked to women, including my own mother, about their struggles with infertility and pregnancy loss. I heard some of the most moving, emotional, and inspiring stories. I thought that because I had taken the initiative to get these real-life stories that I’d be more enthused to write this story, but instead I felt inept. I couldn’t figure out how to translate such important, powerful stories into my own writing, so I didn’t. I worked on other things, so I could say I had a productive day, but when my fellow writers were sharing their daily goal accomplishments, I was shoving my head deeper into my sheets. I felt embarrassed to tell them that I hadn’t made much progress in my story, so I countered it with the fact that I’d been working and that my home life is crazy, which isn’t false, but I felt the need to explain. I felt like I’d let them down, but really, I had let myself down.
NaNoWriMo is not for the weak, and for most of the month, I considered myself weak, and even writing this feels like a cop-out. However, in writing and reflecting on the month, I realize that while writer’s burnout is a thing, and I have definitely been experiencing the struggles of it, I am not defined by a word count or an assignment. My self-worth should not be determined by whether or not I adequately completed something, and I should stop holding myself to these impossible standards. I’ve always wanted to be a writer, and I am. To be a writer, means to write, so I’m gonna do just that. I’m gonna write every day, and I won’t worry about meeting a word count or completing an assignment that I don’t care about. I’m just going to write simply because it makes me feel good, and maybe, in that. I will overcome this writer’s burnout, and find my voice again.
Nikki Giovanni needs no introduction from me I am sure. To say she is only a poet will be doing her an injustice. To quote a recent article from New York Times, “Giovanni emerged as a writer in the late 1960s during the Black Arts Movement, alongside her fellow poets Amiri Baraka and Sonia Sanchez. In one of Giovanni’s early poems, “Reflections on April 4, 1968,” marking the day Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated, she wrote: “What can I, a poor Black woman, do to destroy america? This / is a question, with appropriate variations, being asked in every / Black heart.” Nikki Giovanni, Finding the Song in the Darkest Days
I recently read her poetry book, Love Poems and I can honestly say I LOVED IT. From the very first poem, “What It is” I was captured through her words and technique. Every stanza and line break was placed purposefully. My favorite poem will have to be “Balances”.
In life one is always balancing
like we juggle our mothers against our fathers
or one teacher against another (only to balance our grade average)
3 grains of salt to one ounce truth
our sweet black essence or the funky honkies down the street
and lately i’ve begun wondering if you’re trying to tell me something
we used to talk all night and do things alone together
and i’ve begun
(as a reaction to a feeling) to balance the pleasure of loneliness against the pain of loving you
After reading this poem I was filled with so much understanding about myself and the way I love. The ending lines, “and i’ve begun /(as a reaction to a feeling”)/ to balance/ the pleasure of loneliness/ against the pain/ of loving you.” Hit me so hard because I am learning the lesson of self- worth and temporary affection. I know my worth and I am very selfish with who I dedicate my energy towards. On the other hand, I am a Leo and I shamefully love romantic attention lol. Those ending lines made feel like I will get through this phase in my life and I will love again. The power Nikki Giovanni holds in her words!
In Love Poems, Giovanni explores the connection between all types of love not just romantically. My favorite platonic love poem is “A Poem of Friendship”
We are not lovers because of the love we make but the love we have
We are not friends because of the laughs we spend but the tears we save
I don’t want to be near you for the thoughts we share but the words we never have to speak
I will never miss you because of what we do but what we are together
Nikki Giovanni writes how she speaks: softly yet powerful. I deeply enjoyed the experience reading Love Poems. It was the delight at the ending of my day. It truly made me look forward to new loves in my life, platonically and romantically. As a new generation writer, I am influenced by Nikki Giovanni’s writing style. I could only wish I can reach a bit of the impact she has on society.
For this month’s review, I will be rating songs from Mary Lambert’s self-produced album, Grief Creature (2019). This album is filled with some weepy wonders, and as a sad song enthusiast, I couldn’t have been more excited when this album released. Lambert describes it as her “life’s work, masterpiece, a break-up album to shame, an ode to mental illness, and a love letter to hope”.
Fine/Finally- 7/10
This song is short but powerful. The soft piano paired with Lambert’s vocals is heaven. It’s not my favorite, in terms of songs, but the lyricism and instrumentality in this song is so beautiful, and it makes for a great intro for this album.
“I thought s**t, she looks happy for a girl who is drowning”
Shame- 9/10
This is one of my favorites from this album. It’s the break-up song to shame that Lambert describes, and it’s one of the best songs on the album, in my opinion. It’s a song that you listen to, and it’s sad, but it’s also incredibly empowering. There’s that dramatic, weepy melody, but those strong, uplifting lyrics, and it’s a song that just makes you feel like you are worthy despite the shame, despite everything.
“You can’t shame me if I’ve already done it myself You can’t drown me if I’ve already done it myself”
Me, Museum- 9/10
This is the first of the few spoken-word songs on this album. It’s Lambert’s poem, “The Art of Shame,” read by her and accompanied by her masterful pianism. It’s so powerful, and it’s one of those pieces that live rent-free in my brain.
“I took snapshots with my memory camera”
Sister- 8.5/10
I love this song purely for the vocals. Lambert really popped off with her runs in this song, and if you had asked me when this album was first released, I would’ve said this song was my favorite, 10/10, but I think I got burnt out on it. I mean, I listened to this song every day, on repeat for at least 2 months, so it still has a high regard in my book. However, it’s just not that 10 it used to be, and I’m a little bummed it’s not because of how much I used to love it.
“It’s not so bad when you’re laughing It’s not so bad when you’re smiling”
Born Sad- 8/10
This is the one upbeat song on this album, and it still talks about sadness, but I’m not mad at it. Lambert’s entire brand is built on writing and producing sad songs, so when she set out to make a sad, tear-filled album, I was a little surprised to even see this gem on the tracklist. Nonetheless, it’s about being sad and this noting o of being “born sad,” so it’s still very much on brand. It’s not my favorite song because it strays from Lambert’s melodious piano and orchestral sound, but it’s still a great song.
“Keeping my head above water Is all that I can do… Everybody wants to be happy, nobody knows how to do it”
Write You A Song- 9/10
This is another one of my faves. It’s very much a love song, and I am so here for it. Also, the vocals in this song are so good. Lambert, at one point, has some layered vocals, and it’s one of my favorite parts of the song. Overall, I love this song, but it’s not quite a 10. However, it is pretty close!
“I’ll write you a song I’ll write you a hundred”
Steady & Sure- 7/10
This song is great. It’s not one of my favorites, necessarily, but I still really enjoy it. Lambert has such a soft, profound voice that it makes it nearly impossible to dislike any of her music.
“Do you know how to hold my heart like a safe and a holy relic?”
Easy To Leave (feat. Maiah Manser)- 8/10
This song is one that really tugs on your heartstrings. It’s one of those sad songs that makes you want to cry no matter how you were feeling before listening to it. The repetition of “Am I easy to leave?” is what gets me everytime. Also, the pairing of Lambert and Manser’s vocals is phenomenal and just a great choice artistically.
“Will anybody stay a while? Will anybody stay for me?
Am I easy to leave?”
Knife- 10/10
This is the second spoken-word song on the album, and it’s next in line to my favorite song on this album. The poem is so incredibly powerful and moving. The emotion in this song can be felt so strongly, and it’s convicting. Then, towards the end of the song, Lambert strikes again with her poignant vocal stylings, and you can’t really help but melt. It’s just that type of song.
“This is what dying feels like What is means to knife and to be knifed by the one that you loved And to keep driving home”
House Of Mirrors (feat. Macklemore)- 9/10
This song isn’t as upbeat as “Born Sad,” but it still isn’t Lambert’s usual sound, making it one of my personal favorites. To be fair, most of the songs on this album, I consider a favorite of mine, but I quite enjoy the pop type sound coupled with Lambert’s moving lyrics. Macklemore’s verse in this song added to the pop sound of this song, but I think that’s what really made this song work.
“My brain is a house divided, rooms with too many doors”
Not Ready To Die Yet- 8/10
This song is so honest and vulnerable. I think that we’ve all been in this place where we’re just sort of stagnant, not moving forward, but we want to progress. That’s what this song is, it’s a poetic “f- you” to that feeling because it’s about overcoming that feeling, and forgiving yourself. It’s a song about choosing yourself, and it’s a song that never fails to resonate with me because I do still believe in hope.
“I’m not great at living, just surviving nightmares”
Climbing Out- 7/10
The beat in this song is interesting. It’s a song you can kind of just vibe to; it’s nice. It’s got the same pop- y feel to it as “House of Mirrors,” but also, very different. It’s not one of my go-to songs, but I still enjoy listening to it. It’s an uplifting song that encourages you to keep going and stop staying stagnant, so I especially appreciate the motivation in this song.
“Sadness is hardly an artform, but it does get better”
Feel With Me (feat. Hollis)- 8/10
This song is such a sensual song, and you can’t help but want to dance. The music just naturally sways your body, and it is just such a bop. This is the kind of song I play when I’ve had a long day, and I just want to feel— which is coincidentally what the song is titled. Hollis and Lambert really did the thing with this one.
“Find within all this space that you need to be free”
Trauma Is A Stalker- 10/10
This is a spoken-word piece, and it one of the most evocative pieces of music I have ever heard. The orchestral sound coupled with Lambert’s voice is so eloquent and passionate. I mean, I have never heard a violin played so beautifully. It’s like a literal slice of heaven, and then, you listen to the lyrics, and you just sort of feel gutted. Who does that?! Two words: Mary. Lambert. *mic drop*
“What if I told you trauma is a stalker? Follows me room to room, visits me at work, leaves dead animals on my day planner, texts me knives, licks my memory before I have a chance to get it right”
If You Ever Leave Somebody- 100/10
This is my FAVORITE song on this album. I don’t think I will ever get tired of hearing this song, like I love it so much. It is so emotional and evocative. I am always moved after hearing this song, and I listen to it at least 25 times a week. It’s one of those songs you just can’t but fall in love with— from the care Lambert took to composing the chords and the piano to the lyricism. She is my favorite poet, and she brings her poetic style into her songwriting, and it is pure bliss.
“If you ever leave somebody, pray to God you’re right, don’t leave in the night, cry like you mean it, don’t cry like a coward, don’t lie for hours, and say what it is”
Another Rape Poem (Sixteen)- 8/10
This song is another spoken-word piece. Similar to “Knife,” it has some gorgeous vocals in it. The song is actually called “Sixteen,” but the poem she is reading is “Another Rape Poem,” which is actually one of my favorite poems by her. The pairing of these two pieces with the fervent piano playing in the background is kind of ingenius. Lambert just has a way with words and sound, and she knows how to manipulate these two mediums in a way that they blend seamlessly and beautifully.
“There were three wolves in the bedroom who circled me without ever flashing their canines Isn’t rape funny like that? I have to speak in metaphor in order to get it out”
“Suddenly I was a prize in a building of a thousand men — drenched in America and sweat I’m not saying that the military raped me”
Bless This Hell (feat. Julien Baker)- 9.5/10
This last song is one of my go-to songs on the album. I just can’t get over how beautiful the piano sounds, and how soulful Lambert sounds while singing. This is also my favorite collaboration on this album, as well. Lambert and Baker make such a great duo, and I adore the layering of their voices in this song.
“You don’t belong here Get out of my head”
Overall, Grief Creature is just that— a creature of grief. It’s a sad album filled with sad songs, but if you’re a sappy, sad song enthusiast (like me), then this is an album I HIGHLY suggest you listen to— bring tissues.
Welcome to part three of my Disintegration analysis! In this post, I will be reviewing the final four songs of the album. I have enjoyed this journey thus far, as I revere the Cure as an insanely talented and groundbreaking band. Sit back, relax, and enjoy!
Track Nine: “The Same Deep Water as You”
Duration: 9:19
Initial Thoughts
…one of Disintegration‘s masterpieces. The melancholy contained in this piece paints Morrissey—of the Smiths—as an oblivious, happy-go-lucky guy. Although I can not deny the infectious drone of Morrissey’s voice—which is perfectly suited for melancholic songs about loneliness and despair—”The Same Deep Water as You” has a mature air of dreariness that is utterly incomparable. The song begins with the sound of falling rain, a crack of thunder preceding the eerie musical intro; the hypnotic light drums and somber strings luring listeners. And when the mysterious, entrancing synth adds a subtle but extravagant flair, Robert Smith’s voice joins in. The captivating vocals slip into the saturated setting with ease, and the overall effect is flavorful, dynamic. “The Same Deep Water as You” wraps listeners in an assuaging fog of sorrow, the vaporous guitars surprisingly groovy and the many textures rich in feeling and meditative thought.
Lyrics
“The Same Deep Water as You”
“Kiss me goodbye Pushing out before I sleep Can’t you see I try Swimming the same deep water as you is hard ‘The shallow drowned lose less than we’ You breathe The strangest twist upon your lips ‘And we shall be together… ‘
‘Kiss me goodbye Bow your head and join with me’ And face pushed deep Reflections meet The strangest twist upon your lips And disappear The ripples clear And laughing Break against your feet And laughing Break the mirror sweet ‘So we shall be together… ‘
‘Kiss me goodbye’ Pushing out before I sleep It’s lower now and slower now The strangest twist upon your lips But I don’t see And I don’t feel But tightly hold up silently My hands before my fading eyes And in my eyes Your smile The very last thing before I go…
I will kiss you I will kiss you I will kiss you forever on nights like this I will kiss you I will kiss you And we shall be together…”
Firstly, I would like to express my admiration for Robert Smith’s fantastic lyrics! Each song is a snippet of a journey—a moment—that is entrancing; the music ends, and you feel awoken from a strange dream that almost belongs to you. “The Same Deep Water as You” transports me, personally, to an ocean in the night. The water chills me to the bone, and everything lies deceiving still, filled with potential energy—disaster gathering its breath, preparing to strike. To conclude my contented poetry-obsessed heart, there is not a Cure song that fails to take me somewhere. Listening to this track, I almost want to shiver and pull a jacket tightly around me.
My interpretation of this piece exists in the following: It is dark, quiet, and chilly, and the narrator is with someone who wades too far into a body of water with substantial depth; the narrator has no choice but to chase after the person, out into the frightening depths of the freezing water. Now, this stands as my literal interpretation. As for a more figurative explanation, the narrator’s muse is pulling the narrator into something fearful and weighty. Although the narrator struggles to join their muse, they succumb by the end of the song.
Perhaps my literal and figurative interpretations can be applied simultaneously. Perhaps the narrator is pondering on the aforementioned dilemma while swimming with their muse. Below I have provided my reasons why:
In the first stanza, the narrator is at war with what the speaker wants, but the speaker is persistent and a bit daring.
“…Can’t you see I try Swimming the same deep water as you is hard ‘The shallow drowned lose less than we’ You breathe The strangest twist upon your lips ‘And we shall be together… ‘”
In the second stanza, I see the narrator diving into the black water after their muse. I am unsure about the use of “reflections”, but perhaps the narrator sees their muse’s face staring up at them—the narrator’s reflection of the surface colliding with this sight. But then the muse is gone, the water still—beckoning the narrator to “break the mirror” or disrupt the reflecting stillness of the water to join them.
“…Reflections meet The strangest twist upon your lips And disappear The ripples clear… …And laughing Break the mirror sweet ‘So we shall be together… ‘”
The third stanza is my absolute favorite. It realizes the narrator’s surrender to the water and the person persuading their descent. Robert Smith conveys this effortlessly—his voice at its most dramatic pitch in the song, his words seeming lost as he repeats, “the very last thing before I go.” In this one stanza, his fear gives way to something hazy and illogical.
“…It’s lower now and slower now The strangest twist upon your lips But I don’t see And I don’t feel But tightly hold up silently My hands before my fading eyes And in my eyes Your smile The very last thing before I go…”
To conclude my analysis, perhaps “The Same Deep Water as You” follows two people swimming beneath the stars in the black abyss of the ocean. Perhaps it follows someone’s surrender to something toxic they would rather avoid. Perhaps the narrator is talking to themselves or something. But who knows?
Overall
Writing this analysis, I have significantly more appreciation for this track. Following the falling rain that introduces this song, methodical but urgent drums are followed by a dreary bass and eerie synth. Periodical cracks of thunder pierce the ensemble of gloom, and Smith’s vocals—although a piece of this puzzle of sound—provides a plot. Overall, the guitars are rich and flavorful, the bass and tinny drums rhythmic as they are daunting, the synths perfectly matching Smith’s tortured voice. I feel cold and disturbed but assured by the delicious melancholy of this piece. And I love Robert Smith’s lyrics and the way his voice brings them into existence: he is not simply reciting them in a singing voice; he is living and breathing them. And the guitars! “The Same Deep Water as You” is a hidden gem deserving of occasional infatuation and excessive blog rambling.
Track Ten: “Disintegration”
Duration: 8:18
Initial Thoughts
Of guilt, apathy, and painful imperfection, “Disintegration” earns its name. The song begins with shattering glass, a bass with a sorrowful drone, and quick and heavy drums reminiscent of “One Hundred Years”, a Cure song from 1982. The repetition of the rhythm is purposeful, allowing listeners to slip into the churning blend of meditative guitars and drums and various, random bits of texture. For nearly two minutes, Robert Smith does not utter a word. But when he begins to sing, the lyrics flow in an almost cathartic way. The instrumental background established earlier perfectly highlights Robert’s dramatically changing pitch—the lyrics carry substantial weight and are given the spotlight they deserve. This song removes listeners from the wary, trepid voice of “The Same deep Water as You” to examine the despairing, guilty conscious of “Disintegration”‘s narrator. This piece clarifies the Cure’s ingenuity: although it is not my favorite track from the album, the shattering glass, Smith’s narrative voice, and the ensemble of instruments perfectly capture anguish and the process of disintegrating against one’s will.
Lyrics
“Disintegration”
“Oh I miss the kiss of treachery The shameless kiss of vanity The soft and the black and the velvety Up tight against the side of me And mouth and eyes and heart all bleed And run in thickening streams of greed As bit by bit it starts the need To just let go My party piece
Oh I miss the kiss of treachery The aching kiss before I feed The stench of a love for a younger meat And the sound that it makes When it cuts in deep The holding up on bended knees The addiction of duplicities As bit by bit it starts the need To just let go My party piece
But I never said I would stay to the end So I leave you with babies and hoping for frequency Screaming like this in the hope of the secrecy Screaming me over and over and over I leave you with photographs Pictures of trickery Stains on the carpet and Stains on the scenery Songs about happiness murmured in dreams When we both us knew How the ending would be…
So it’s all come back round to breaking apart again Breaking apart like I’m made up of glass again Making it up behind my back again Holding my breath for the fear of sleep again Holding it up behind my head again Cut in deep to the heart of the bone again Round and round and round And it’s coming apart again Over and over and over
Now that I know that I’m breaking to pieces I’ll pull out my heart And I’ll feed it to anyone Crying for sympathy Crocodiles cry for the love of the crowd And the three cheers from everyone Dropping through sky Through the glass of the roof Through the roof of your mouth Through the mouth of your eye Through the eye of the needle It’s easier for me to get closer to heaven Than ever feel whole again
I never said I would stay to the end I knew I would leave you with babies and everything Screaming like this in the hole of sincerity Screaming me over and over and over I leave you with photographs Pictures of trickery Stains on the carpet and Stains on the memory Songs about happiness murmured in dreams When we both of us knew How the end always is
How the end always is…”
Wow, that is a lot to unpack…After inspecting the lyrics—which are almost written as a stream of consciousness—Robert Smith’s singing style in “Disintegration” makes perfect sense. The words rush from Smith like a painful river of truth, but he ends his confession of a song on a relieved note. “Disintegration” deserves its name for its cathartic delivery; it embodies the album and summarizes the various themes in each track. Reality is confronting the narrator with everything it has, leaving nothing unnoticed or unfelt. I revere this track for the band’s immaculate portrayal of the act of, well, disintegration. Personally, I imagine the narrator trapped within an intangible whirlwind of all their fear and guilt. I imagine the narrator either engaged in an argument or alone in the dark or surrounded by tons of people oblivious to their suffering. Listeners have a crystal clear glimpse into this narrator’s perspective. From the overall sound and Smith’s lyrics, I feel trapped in a bleak reality I have created and can not seem to escape. I feel my lungs constrict and my head spin. Lights are blinding and streak across my vision, and I feel myself dissociating. Of course, this is all imagined—often, I listen to “Disintegration” while humming and thinking about my lunch—but I love how effective the Cure is at conveying moments!
Robert Smith’s voice, in the beginning, is as quiet and dreary as lilting bass. He seems to choose his words carefully despite beginning to break down his resistance. Then, as synth begins to accompany the musical ensemble, the flow of Smith’s words becomes more rapid and free. He retires his composed singing featured in the track before: “The Same Deep Water as You”. He surrenders a perfect pitch to adopt one of release and admittance, his voice almost breaking as if in an argument. And after the most impactful stanza, Smith repeats “how the end always is” until the instruments have a dramatic, resonating finale and the glass is swept up. Smith’s voice is drained but not defeated.
A Few of My Favorite Lyrics:
“And mouth and eyes and heart all bleed And run in thickening streams of greed”
“So it’s all come back round to breaking apart again Breaking apart like I’m made up of glass again Making it up behind my back again Holding my breath for the fear of sleep again”
“Now that I know that I’m breaking to pieces I’ll pull out my heart And I’ll feed it to anyone Crying for sympathy Crocodiles cry for the love of the crowd And the three cheers from everyone Dropping through sky”
Hm…”Crocodiles cry for the love of the crowd”? I love this! How intriguing…
Overall
Wow. I am definitely impressed. Once again, the Cure does not disappoint. I absolutely love the glass sound effects, whining guitar, synth (for dramatic emphasis), and the overall ability of this song to transport me to a foreign yet somehow familiar moment in time. Smith’s lyrics are brilliant, and the way he relays them is so emotional and effective. “Disintegration” is one of the most sincere songs I have ever encountered. This track benefits from high volumes…feel free to blast it while dancing at your desk at midnight while eating a bagel or crying on your cold, crumb-speckled floor.
Track Eleven: “Homesick”
Duration: 7:06.
Initial Thoughts
In all honesty, I do not love this track. I personally feel that “Homesick” is one of the weakest songs on Disintegration. However, the album hugely benefits from its presence, as it is the beginning of the end. It carries the same themes of “Disintegration” but with much more clarity, and it sets up the mood for the final track on the album. “Homesick”: emotionally drained, contemplative, but also in denial. It refuses to refute its wrongs or face reality; it is one last pinch of turpitude. After reflecting upon the songs overall sound, it begins quite assured in its melancholy. I may not treasure the song itself, but I definitely respect and appreciate. The layering is impeccable: the sincere piano meets the carefully plucked guitar and riveting drums and the sorrow violin—viola?—and then a more electric-sounding guitar. And finally, after some bass and a three minute intro, Smith begins to sing. The piano is jazzy, the guitars slightly “rockish”…exquisite overall sound and energy.
Lyrics
“Homesick”
“Hey hey! Just one more and I’ll walk away All the everything you win Turns to nothing today And I forget how to move When my mouth is this dry And my eyes are bursting hearts In a blood-stained sky Oh it was sweet It was wild And oh how we… I trembled Stuck in honey Honey Cling to me… So just one more Just one more go Inspire in me the desire in me To never go home
Oh just one more And I’ll walk away All the everything you win Turns to nothing today So just one more Just one more go Inspire in me the desire in me To never go home”
I am interested in the perspective Robert Smith wrote “Homesick” from. Despite the title, one line reads, “Inspire in me the desire to never go home.” First of all, I have never heard of anyone desiring to avoid one’s home…one usually desires to return home. Likewise, to state the obvious, why title this piece “Homesick”? Do the title and lyrics go hand-in-hand? Was the title a guilty afterthought? Why is the overall sound somber if the song is about wanting to never return home? Is there a touch of sarcasm, irony, or purposeful contradiction anywhere? “Homesick” is definitely a head-scratcher, but I feel that is what Robert Smith has intended.
Although the lyrics are brief and inspire me as much as “Last Dance”—a previous song on Disintegration—I do absolutely adore the line, “my eyes are bursting hearts in a blood-stained sky.” Ugh! So beautiful, am I right? I also love, “All the everything you win turns to nothing today.” Overall, this is a powerful, moving track that is delicious to my ears, but I have a difficult time personalizing the song’s meaning. What do you think? The light lyrics do not match the regretful sound and the title, and I believe this to be purposeful…how clever!
Overall
Sorry, Cure, but I doubt I have ever sought out “Homesick”…this is the most I have listened to the song on its own. Although “Homesick” does not possess the grand, bone-shattering glory of “Plainsong” nor the infectious “hit recipe” of “Pictures of You” and “Lovesong”, the album simply would not be the same without it. The track exists as a perfect segue from “Disintegration” into the final track of the album. It is also one of slowest, more methodical songs on the album. And it has a unique sound! I absolutely love the singing guitar in the beginning and then the addition of a more whiny guitar. And then…a smooth base line. “Homesick” is a musical dish of lasagna, consisting of layers upon layers. And how can I possibly criticize the raining melody of strings and intriguing drums and the most jazzy piano on the entire album. And Smith’s languid voice ties everything together like a bow on a present.
Track Twelve: Untitled
Duration: 6:30.
Initial Impressions
When I first listened to “Untitled”, I was unsure about the wheezy accordion(?)-filled first few seconds. But oh my goodness! This has got to be one of the best Cure songs, in my opinion. Why? The sound is air-tight in its stability and precision. “Untitled” is an impeccable end to Disintegration. The lyrics are absolutely stellar; Robert Smith’s voice reads so clearly and with appreciable sincerity. I absolutely love the confident drums matched perfectly with the churning bass, and I adore the singing guitar—it is more rich and tender than filet mignon! And I would have to say the same for Smith’s vocals. Also, before I summarize my impression, you got to love those cymbal crescendos, eh? Overall, this track has such a relaxing, light sound…the most fitting end to a masterpiece such as Disintegration!
Lyrics
“Hopelessly drift In the eyes of the ghost again Down on my knees And my hands in the air again Pushing my face in the memory of you again But I never know if it’s real Never know how I wanted to feel Never quite said what I wanted to say to you Never quite managed the words to explain to you Never quite knew how to make them believable And now the time has gone Another time undone Hopelessly fighting the devil Futility Feeling the monster Climb deeper inside of me Feeling him gnawing my heart away Hungrily I’ll never lose this pain Never dream of you again”
Surprise! The lyrics do not match the light beat at all. The Cure has mastered the art of contradiction to better the experience and/or meaning of a song. With “Untitled”, the rhythms are refreshing and sweet, but the lyrics sting. In my opinion, these lyrics are some of Robert Smith’s best work. All I can say is…ow.
“Hopelessly drift in the eyes of the ghost again; down on my knees, and my hands in the air again”…what an evocative entrance. This paints such a picture of bleak surrender and sorrow. Now, I could dissect this song in such a way line by line, but I will paraphrase for your sanity, hah! Smith goes on to say, “Pushing my face in the memory of you again.” Who is “you”? Anyway, he continues by admitting he has no idea what is real or how to feel. He feels as if he never said everything he hoped to. He realizes the time, the moment, has gone. He uses the word “hopelessly” again when describing a battle against futility, which he describes as being a devilish monster. The song ends as follows: “Feeling the monster climb deeper inside of me, feeling him gnawing my heart away, hungrily; I’ll never lose this pain, never dream of you again.”
Quite somber, am I right? Yes, the lyrics are quite the contrast to the relatively upbeat sound!
I absolutely love how Robert Smith ends Disintegration with these exact lyrics. It is no triumphant affair, nothing close to bombastic. His words are bleeding sincerity. And in a way, “Untitled” summarizes his whole attitude towards the album. The encompassing theme of Disintegration is futility and the battle against it. Is the album enough? Is Smith relaying everything inside of him, everything he intended to share? Does his career as an artist live up to his expectations? The whole inspiration behind Disintegration is Robert Smith dreading his thirtieth birthday because he does not feel accomplished enough. So he ends the album with all grand, explosive sounds peeled back. “Untitled” is stripped of anything that would diminish its core meaning and feel. This is the painful, hopeless reality of Disintegration.
Overall:
The rich blend of guitars at the end never fail to give me chills, as they are quite sensational. And the accordion picks up once again, but its meaning has changed…I end up appreciating it a bit more, for I see someone in a dimly lit corner playing it solemnly. As for the contradicting lyrics and sound, Smith’s lyrics are despairing, but he is somewhat content with it all. He is almost telling listeners, “Look, it’s not perfect, but who cares? Reality sucks, and I’m just an English guy wearing lipstick with hair full of hairspray.” One can easily feel the pain behind Smith’s words—to the point that the cheery sound tastes more bitter than sweet. Personally, I find this track immensely consoling. Often, we fail to express ourselves to the fullest; we constantly feel just shy of “enough” or right at it. But that’s okay.
After All of This, What Exactly is Disintegration?
For me, Disintegration is separated into three main segments:
“Plainsong”, “Pictures of You”, and “Closedown”:
The lyrics are all overwhelmed by time.
These three all have an explosive, ethereal sound.
All are a bit comfortable; these are the most stable songs on the album.
“Lovesong”, “Last Dance”, “Lullaby”, “Fascination Street”, and “Prayers for Rain”:
Although of various themes, moods, and meanings, these five characterize the album’s middle.
All of these songs are of a unique sound, purpose, and plot.
These songs share a similar tone, even if subtle.
“The Same Deep Water as You”, “Disintegration”, “Homesick”, “Untitled”:
Robert Smith’s lyrics become more convoluted and regretful and defenseless; his perspective almost does a 180°…these four songs feel so separate from segment one (how does “Pictures of You” belong to the same album as “Disintegration”?)
Overall, I love Disintegration with all of my heart. Although released in 1989, the album continues to have its hits blasted on accepting radio stations. Personally, every time I hear “Pictures of You” play on the radio, my heart almost bursts. The Cure has numerous albums that are absolutely stellar—such as the fun-filled, addictive Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me (1987) and the ghastly, quiet pondering of Faith (1981). But with Disintegration, Robert Smith created one of the most “together” albums of all time. Despite its overall air of melancholy, it possesses songs for various moments in time, numerous emotions. No singular song diminishes the quality of the album. It is sincere, purposeful, and as original as any other Cure album. And the journey it contains is indescribable: while listening, I found myself standing on a windy cliff overlooking a dark ocean, dancing in a ballroom in the middle of winter, shivering in bed in confining darkness, swimming at night in a frighteningly deep body of water, in the middle of a dizzying breakdown, and in a lonely but comfortable corner. From the grand expanse of “Plainsong” to the small, pained content of “Untitled”, Disintegration holds so much. Often, I like to wrap myself in its songs like warm blankets in the wintertime.
I know the band will never see this, but I am eternally grateful for the Cure and albums such as Disintegration. Thank you.
In the midst of reading this poem, I realized that I didn’t really know the meaning of a paradox. By definition, a paradox isa seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement or proposition that when investigated or explained may prove to be well-founded or true. In layman’s terms, a paradox is a contradiction; this is when two things go against each other. Paul Laurence Dunbar, an African-American poet, wrote this poem with each stanza being a new paradox. His use of the literary device gave distinct and keen characteristics of the speaker in the poem. The general structure of the poem is very simplistic and easy to read. The poem itself is very well-written and is a very powerful read.
On my first read of the poem, I didn’t understand what it meant. This led me to looking up what a paradox is. If you don’t know what it is, I would suggest looking it up and getting an understanding for yourself before you go back to read the poem in that context. Once I read the poem again with new eyes, I realized the message behind the words. From my understanding, the poem is being told by Paul Laurence Dunbar. He is telling of himself.
In the first stanza, he starts with “I am the mother of sorrows,” a line that I took the meaning to be along the lines of being a person who often causes sorrows in life. The contradiction lies in the meaning of mother and the meaning of sorrows. The two go against each other. A mother has the associations of comfort, love, and warmth while sorrows almost always have death, darkness, and grief attached to it. The beauty of the line, for me, is the combination of the two; To consider yourself the mother of sorrows has to be a hard realization to come by.
All throughout the poem, Dunbar has various lines that show a paradox. He uses these to tell about himself; it felt like I was reading an autobiography almost. By the tone and the use of certain words, it feels like he is trying to prove himself. I suppose with more information on the life of the poet, I would have an even deeper understanding of the poem. I don’t know if the popularity of Dunbar when he wrote this poem or even what situation he was in, but the poem sounds like he is trying to prove himself worthy of praise. If not praise, then it could be acknowledgment. In the 6th stanza, Dunbar says, “Then shalt thou see me and know me—” a line I find to be quite sad. The lines before this one in the same stanza tell us that Dunbar will take his name down to the grave and out from the mouths of those who don’t like him or his writing. The line feels like he is saying that only in his death will he be appreciated. That is sad to say.
This poem took me on a journey, and every time I read it, I figure out something new. My interpretation of the poem could be very wrong or it could be very right, but we will never truly find out. I hope you all like this poem, if not, why? I am genuinely interested in seeing how people take in this poem and its meaning. I love this poem and I am sure I will be reading some of his other works, but for now, I’m going to keep enjoying and reading this poem!
These past few months have been especially hard for me, and the global pandemic hasn’t helped.
I thought I had my whole life figured out. I thought I knew who I was, but man, was I wrong.
Being student body president, has been one of the greatest experiences. I get to wake up every day with a purpose because I love what I am doing. I love what I am cultivating within my community, but I won’t lie, it’s also been so hard for me. Before, my purpose was writing, but now, I’m a leader. I have people who look up to me, who are counting on me, and of course, I didn’t just stop being a writer. I will always be a writer. I will always have that passion and drive to write and to tell my truth, but now, I have two roles that buy for my attention.
I have to be a writer but I also have to be a leader, and some days, I just don’t know how to be both. I don’t know who I am. Am I “Maleigh, RISE editor-in-chief”? “Maleigh, literary artist”? or “Maleigh, student body president”? To choose, is one the hardest things because I am all at the same time, and finding a balance has been quite the challenge. There’s this internal battle within me, and I don’t who’s the winner.
“I am trying to both be happy and pay attention to the world around me. I do not know if it is possible to do both at the same time.” ― Blythe Baird
If My Body Could Speak was written by poet and spoken word artist, Blythe Baird. It was released in early 2019, and features 46 original poems by the artist.
Synopsis:
“If My Body Could Speak is about fighting for the space one takes up in a world that would rather they take up none at all. Blythe Baird deftly and uniquely charts a course through various modes of womanhood and women’s bodies. Through love, loss, and the struggles of disordered eating, If My Body Could Speak uses sharp narratives and visceral imagery to get to the heart of a many-layered existence, speaking to many generations at once” (Goodreads).
Review:
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. Personally, I prefer listening to audiobooks that are read by the author and following along with the script. It allows for readers to get the full experience, so that’s what I do.
Baird does an exceptional job of writing poetry that women from all walks of life can relate to, as it deals specifically with body acceptance, eating disorders, queerness, womanhood and femininity, and rape culture.
Her poem, “When the Fat Girl Gets Skinny” is the most notable, as it went viral on YouTube.
The poem vividly and poetically tells the story of Baird’s struggle with an eating disorder.
“If you develop an eating disorder when you are already thin to begin with, you go to the hospital. If you develop an eating disorder when you are not thin to begin with, you are a success story. ”
― Blythe Baird
“If your body could speak, would she forgive you?” ― Blythe Baird
Senioritis is very real, and if you think you will never get it, you’re wrong because it happened to me…
“I’m Maleigh Crespo, and I suffer from senioritis.”
Yes, it’s true. I succumbed to the pressure of senior year, but I am trying to find my way back, slowly but surely. I thought I’d give you a few tips that I’ve learned along the way:
It’s not like the movies, so stop trying so hard
Senior year is not like High School Musical or Twilight. There’s no epic romance or incredible self-discovery, so stop waiting for that to happen, and do your homework.
College is overrated— and overpriced
Don’t get me wrong, education is important, but with that incredible urge to simply not go to college lingering over your head, it gets hard to continue moving forward. I get it. College is also crazy expensive for no reason, and if finances alone don’t make you want to drop out before you’ve even been accepted, please let me know how you live life. It’s normal to feel these things, but if you’re the college-going type, please go to college. Fill out the arduous applications: type your name and email into the little squares a million times if you have to, write that essay that the fate of your future depends on, pester your counselor for the thousandth time about your class rank; do it all, but don’t give up. You got this!
Stop talking to that boy
Again, this isn’t Twilight, Bella. It’s not gonna happen, so please stop talking to him every night and get some sleep. You’ll thank me later.
PRIORITIES, PRIORITIES, PRIORITIES !!!
If you learn nothing else from senior year (or this blog post), I hope it’s prioritizing! I know you want to go out to dinner with the girls, but the girls don’t have a huge research paper due tomorrow at 11:59pm. Though you probably could’ve done both had you managed your time wisely…
Time Management
Keep a planner or schedule at all times. Hold yourself accountable. Say you’ll get things done and ACTUALLY GET THEM DONE. Be honest with yourself, and only pan to do things you’re really going to do. Don’t set yourself up for failure.
Learn the word “No,” and Use it Often
Stop agreeing to do things you don’t want to do or saying yes when you KNOW you don’t have time! Your friends will still love you if you miss one event, and if they don’t, you need better friends anyway.
Self Care
Treat yourself kindly, and make time for yourself! Don’t make too much time for yourself to the point that you aren’t being productive, but every now and then, do something nice, just for YOU! Please just take care of yourself— mind, body, and soul.
Senioritis is real, and you need to be aware of it. Don’t be in denial, but don’t be paranoid. It can happen to anyone, and that’s okay. You just have to recognize it and overcome it.
If you feel symptoms of this illness coming on, take the proper precautions to prevent it from derailing you from having an awesome senior year. Keep your head up. It does get better 🙂 (or maybe it doesn’t…)
Welcome to part two of my review of Disintegration, a Cure album released in 1989. Enjoy!
I had to rewrite it three times because it kept being deleted. (:
Track Six: “Lullaby”
Duration: 4:08
Initial Thoughts
The hook immediately reels in listeners, an eerie stringed instrument later paired with Robert Smith’s whispered vocals. Overall, “Lullaby” plays as an incredibly rich blend of plucked and soaring strings, all tied together by heavy, methodical bass and flat, snapping drums. Horror poetry at its finest, this track deviates from the album’s established sound, possessing an ambiance unique to no other song. “Lullaby” reaches an odd comfort in the depths of unease. It is of fear, of fascination. And as a result, you find yourself swaying to the morbid melody—slipping into the groove, submerged in Smith’s terrified voice.
Lyrics
“Lullaby”
(I spy with my little eye) (Something beginning with S)
On candy stripe legs the spiderman comes Softly through the shadow of the evening sun Stealing past the windows of the blissfully dead Looking for the victim shivering in bed Searching out fear in the gathering gloom and suddenly! A movement in the corner of the room! And there is nothing I can do When I realize with fright That the spiderman is having me for dinner tonight!
Quietly he laughs, shaking his head Creeps closer now Closer to the foot of the bed And softer than shadow And quicker than flies His arms are all around me and his tongue in my eyes “Be still be calm be quiet now my precious boy Don’t struggle like that or I will only love you more For it’s much too late to get away or turn on the light The spiderman is having you for dinner tonight”
And I feel like I’m being eaten By a thousand million shivering furry holes And I know that in the morning I will wake up in the shivering cold And the spiderman is always hungry…
(Come into my parlour) (Said the spider to the fly) (I have a little something here)
Typical of Robert Smith, a myriad of interpretations surround this track. Perhaps the lyrics depict a horrific nightmare. Perhaps the lyrics follow a child cowering in bed, terrified by their own imagination: “On candy striped legs, the spider man comes…”. Perhaps the lyrics do not regard a child at all; following instead an adult struggling with mental afflictions or, as some speculate, an addiction. Or perhaps the lyrics speak of something far more malicious and even gory. Whatever the intent, Robert Smith’s talent is utterly undeniable.
The Literary Prowess of “Lullaby”
“…Softly through the shadow of the evening sun Stealing past the windows of the blissfully dead…”
Through the repetition of the letter S along with a few literary devices, Smith achieves a satisfying lyrical sound.
“And softer than shadow And quicker than flies His arms are all around me and his tongue in my eyes”
This segment successfully contributes to the uneasy atmosphere of “Lullaby”—augmenting the situation to something dire in a way that listeners feel every ounce of fear.
Overall
A Cure classic, “Lullaby ” does not disappoint. It possesses a certain allure despite its disturbing nature, a morbid fascination that persuades listeners to sway in a blurred state of doom. “Lullaby” is outrageously groovy as it is terrifying, and its incredibly rich sound intrigues like no other. Smith’s unsettling vocals deserve dissection and appreciation, and the overall effect produced by his warped, hushed voice enriches the experience of “Lullaby”. All in all, this track belongs to my list of favorite Cure songs. I have endless appreciation for the impeccable lyrics and smooth yet jittery beat. Now I want a Disintegration record to play during chocolate cake eating sessions where I stare at an unfinished essay while blasting “Lullaby”—to cope, of course.
Track Seven: “Fascination Street”
Duration: 5:16
Initial Thoughts
What a masterpiece…”Fascination Street” steals the spotlight with its absolutely stellar body of sound. A grinding bass demands attention, driving the beat, and adamant electric guitars vie for priority. A simple but effective drum beat adds incredible flavor, as does Robert Smith’s bold vocals. This song ends too soon, taking its entrancing rhythms and sweet guitar voices with it. Although Smith’s vocals add a certain spice that characterizes the Cure, “Fascination Street”‘s instrumentals never fail to steal hearts.
Lyrics
“Fascination Street”
Oh, it’s opening time Down on Fascination Street So let’s cut the conversation And get out for a bit Because I feel it all fading And paling and I’m begging To drag you down with me To kick the last nail in Yeah, I like you in that Like I like you to scream But if you open your mouth Then I can’t be responsible For quite what goes in Or to care what comes out So just pull on your hair Just pull on your pout And let’s move to the beat Like we know that it’s over If you slip going under Slip over my shoulder So just pull on your face Just pull on your feet And let’s hit opening time Down on Fascination Street
So pull on your hair Pull on your pout Cut the conversation Just open your mouth Pull on your face Pull on your feet And let’s hit opening time Down on Fascination Street… …On Fascination Street
Yet again, Disintegration‘s tone shifts. Robert Smith abandons the belittled terror of “Lullaby” to embrace something dramatic and a bit dec. Despite their vague read, the lyrics suggest a place of oblivious, carefree fun infatuated with all things frivolous and gaudy. Daring but laced with, perhaps, a regrettable edge, “Fascination Street” joins the Cure’s 1989 album boastfully—a successful hit.
I admire how Smith effortlessly incorporates his vocals into the sound. First and foremost, his lyrics exist flawlessly alongside the riveting pulse of the song, Smith’s words clarifying the drama foretold by guitarists and percussionists. Not only this but I admire the ease Smith has when matching his lyrics to the intensity of the instrumentals—it is honestly immaculate. The vocals and instrumental voices are one pitch, seamless in their separation.
Overall
I love the heavy bass that saturates the entire track and establishes a serious tone. High-strung guitars whine and dance in a mood set by the bass that leaves nothing untouched. “Fascination Street” exists as a dramatic experience dripping in excess; it is an ocean of complexity and disaster. I must say, out of all the tracks on Disintegration, this one provides the most infectious, dance-inspiring rhythms. A dance or bobbing head to “Fascination Street” is irresistible, and I love the bass and Smith’s vocals. I can not possibly express my adoration for the amazing pitch and tone. Often times, I listen to this track and slip into the sound, forgetting all of my obligations.
Track Eight: “Prayers for Rain”
Duration: 6:05
Initial Thoughts
Listen to this track with a sufficient sound system and a volume raised to one hundred! The introduction is mystifying, its tense climb building towards a sonic, reality-altering bass. The tempo is methodical, dark, assured. The beat is forlorn, caustic. Robert Smith’s lyrics add a touch of spite and clarity that enhances the backdrop of heavy, authoritative sound. All in all, “Prayers for Rain” is an intense, flavorful masterpiece that is very much aware. I highly respect the quality of this song, and it lives among my all-time Cure favorites as well. I can not get enough bass.
Lyrics
“Prayers For Rain”
You shatter me your grip on me a hold on me so dull it kills You stifle me infectious sense of hopelessness and prayers for rain I suffocate, I breathe in dirt and nowhere shines but desolate And drab the hours all spent on killing time again all waiting for the rain
You fracture me your hands on me a touch so plain so stale it kills You strangle me entangle me in hopelessness and prayers for rain I deteriorate I live in dirt and nowhere glows but drearily and tired And tired the hours all spent on killing time again all waiting for the rain
You fracture me your hands on me a touch so plain so stale it kills You strangle me entangle me in hopelessness and prayers for rain Prayers for rain…
Smith’s lyrics read as prose, loose and undefined—almost a stream of consciousness. Unlike in “Fascination Street”, Smith’s vocals separate from the instrumental voices; he intends for the lyrics to stand out. His words are restrained but reflective and full of feeling. As the lyrics are as vague as other Cure songs, I have only interpretations.
The narrator is involved in something quite unpleasant—tied to someone or something, a “you”—that they wish to escape. The detriment in question has an iron hold on the narrator, so much that the narrator prays for “rain”. After examining the lyrics, I infer that the narrator is experiencing a drought of sorts; rain is the relief. Smith also repeats the following words: dirt, stale, kills/killing. Smith also features feelings of suffocation as well as the dimming and deterioration of something. The narrator is broken, ripped inside and out, fractured, strangled. With strong, captivating language, Smith paints a desperate scene of realization.
Overall
I greatly admire Robert Smith’s attention to the vocals. His words play as thoughts bubbling and bursting in a mind or an argument. With the added meaning of Smith’s beautifully sung lyrics—I love, love, love his voice—”Prayers for Rain” draws listeners into a contemplative mixture of soaring, sonic sound that resonates long after the six minutes conclude. The overall sound is incredibly rich and meditative, and I personally find myself absorbed into this grand world of immense, pessimistic feeling. “Prayers for Rain” exists, in my opinion, as one of the Cure’s most masterfully created songs. I thoroughly enjoy raising my headphones’ volume to a dangerous level and picking apart every minute, savory detail. I love this song! It has such a hypnotic sound.
Peace Out
See you all soon for part three! Only four songs remain…then I have other plans (dun dun dun). Have a good day and know that you are all loved and special. (:
