Category: Junior Literary

my alarm clock goes off at 7:58am, marking the beginning of my first block class. i roll over in bed, doubling my comforter to combat the cold air that the ceiling fan circulates directly onto my body. half-empty water bottles, journals, pens, and dirty laundry litter the bottom half of my bed; i have to sleep horizontally. i have one pillow and two blankets left on my bed, and i would be lying if i said i remembered when they were last washed.

i mark attendance for first block, then roll back to the comfortable side of my body. i fall asleep to the sound of group message notifications and the soft whirring of my air conditioning.

my next alarm goes off at 9:53, telling me to join the zoom meeting for my poetry class. i open my near-dead laptop, reach my hand over to find the charger, and join the call. my camera stays off, out of fear that my peers will see the bedroom i stay in with subpar cleanliness and my unwashed hair. the call lasts about an hour and a half, about an hour and ten minutes longer than my brain allows me to concentrate.

i close my laptop for lunch, refusing to check my dwindling grades for fear of failure on my end and anger on my parents’. my boyfriend texts to ask how i slept, and about a quarter of my energy is consumed by just texting him back. my feet are cold. but i can’t get up to move my blanket again.

i stay i bed for a while longer, until the pit of my stomach is empty enough to force me to eat half of a brown sugar cinnamon pop tart. the sound of my shoes grinding sand into the tile floor is enough to make my ears rumble in discomfort, a strong accompaniment to the agonizing stomach ache i’ve had for a week now. 

my clock app reminds me to take attendance for writing lab, so i log back into the zoom meeting from the same email i’ve had pinned in my inbox since the beginning of september. students arrive one by one, most with their cameras turned on, so i feel rather alone. my teacher probably thinks i’m distracted. i am, but not by anything avoidable. i’m just trapped within the ever-tightening spiral of my own thoughts and worries.

the class ends before i can even begin to process what was just expected of me, and i roll back over in bed. i take attendance for fourth block, but i can’t even bring myself to open the class page in moodle. i fall back asleep, with an empty stomach and an overflowing headspace.

my mom comes home, settling two or three grocery bags on the counter, raising her voice for me to hear her all the way in the back of the house. she groans loudly at the sight of pop tart crumbs on the granite tile, and i thank god she hasn’t seen the 6 cups and 3 half-eaten snack bags of popcorn on my bedside table. 

i sweep away the crumbs, then return to the two blankets that swallow me whole yet again. i fall asleep, but for some reason, never get enough rest. i wake up at 8pm, go get a sip of water, then remember i haven’t had any all day. i drink the rest of the shallow cup. it’s 11pm. my boyfriend’s face is dimly lit in the corner of my facetime screen, and i go back to bed.

my alarm clock goes off at 7:58am.

 The cool hum of the drive core, the shiny steel walls, and the large windows that that reveal the stars, our only companions in space. These made the ship feel cold to me at first.

I look around at my crew and remember my first mission as commanding officer. I barely knew my crew, but as we went through hell and back, our bond became unbreakable. We saved the galaxy and when we got back to civilization, we were labeled as pariahs. The political leaders of the galaxy were in denial.

They didn’t want to believe that we were in danger. Only now that their home planets have been invaded, they look to us for salvation. After Alaina’s death on Haestrom, Kirrahe sacrificing his team to save mine, Kaide abandoning me on Ilos, after dying and losing the ship, everything changed.  We’ve lost a lot of good people, humans, aliens, and machines. My crew has done more for the galaxy in three years than the council ever has. I hope they remember that. Not all of us are going to make it out of this alive. 

I feel a hand on my shoulder and jump. “Whoa, Davies. I didn’t mean to scare ya.” Kaide says while stepping back and chuckles. I just sigh and shake my head, as if that’ll wake me up. My second in-command steps closer and gently grabs my arm, “Jen, what’s wrong?” I don’t look at him. I turn back to the balcony in my apartment and observe my crew, my family. “Are we going to make it, Kaide?” I nod towards my family. “Are they going to make it?”  “Look…it’s gonna be…it’ll be what it is. You’ve done everything you can. You’ve gathered the people, you’ve made all of this happen. Whatever happens, you are the one that got us here. You’ve given us a fighting chance. What you’ve done…is build hope.” I tear my gaze away from the party downstairs to look at him. He chuckles nervously, “You remember Menae? The mission after Alaina died? I thought I’d lost you forever. And then, Ilos…I abandoned you. And you still… You still… You never treated anyone like they weren’t worthy. You never stopped fighting for me. For us. Ya know Jen, I, I love you. I always have.” “Davies! Alenko! Get down here! Liara wants to take a photo!” Tali’s vibrating animated voice calls from below us in the center of the party. I sighed, “Well, I guess we better get down there. Come on, Kaide.”

Trigger Warning: This blog will be discussing topics that might be very upsetting, such as gun violence, death, and transphobia. Specifically, it will be acknowledging trans people who have been victims of fatal, violent assault.

   In 2020, we have seen at least 40 transgender or gender nonconforming people fatally shot or killed by other violent means. These victims are not just statistics. They were real people who deserved dignity, respect, life, and love. This is the last of two blogs that will be used to recognize these beautiful lives that we lost this year.

Shaki Peters, a 32-year-old woman, was killed in Amite City, Louisiana on July 1st. Shaki was grossly misgendered in reports following her death, as many transgender victims of violence are. She was a performance artist and a community organizer and activist. A friend of Shaki’s tells PEOPLE that she had “long-lived” her life as a woman; she was “consistently laughing, consistently joking, the first person to get up and dance.” Nathalie Nia Faulk says, “Shakie would provide moments of joy and laughter that sustained us…Whenever you’re facing the systemic issues we face as black people, that triple identity of being a black, trans woman, it’s easy to just give up or not want to get out of bed, but you never saw Shakie do that…She definitely was an inspiration in how she navigated life.”

Bree Black, a 27-year-old woman, was shot to death in Pompano Beach, Florida on July 3rd. According to reports, Bree’s family is not comfortable speaking to the media due to threats they have received as a result of the investigation going public, but are grateful for the work being done to help find her killer. Activists and protesters set up a vigil to honor her life and demand justice for her death.

Marilyn Cazares, a 22-year-old woman, was found dead in an abandoned building in Brawley, California in July. Her aunt, Mindy Garcia, said she “loved to sing and dance” and “never bothered anyone.” She was known in her community for her colorful clothing and is described as being brave and outspoken. Her cousin reflected on a memory of Marilyn “jamming out to Billie Jean like the badass queen she was” while they were taking a car ride together.

Dior H. Ova/Tiffany Harris, a 32-year-old woman, was stabbed to death in the Bronx, New York on July 26th. According to Facebook, she loved fashion, listing her career as a personal shopper, and posting photos with the luxury brands she loved. She was an avid viewer of television dramas such as Desperate Housewives, Nip/Tuck, and Sex in the City.

Queasha D. Hardy, a 22-year-old woman, was killed in Baton Rouge, Louisiana on July 27th. Queasha was a hairstylist, and she was extremely loved by her community. Loved ones describe her as loyal, loving, “always smiling,””the life of all parties,” and “truly one of a kind.”

Aja Raquell Rhone-Spears, a 32-year-old woman who also used the name Rocky Rhone, was fatally stabbed in Portland, Oregon while attending a vigil for Tyrell Penney, who had been shot to death. Aja was very close to her family, frequently posting pictures with them and making playful statuses related to the conversations they had. She advocated against racial injustice and police violence.

Lea Rayshon Daye, a 28-year-old woman, died in Cuyahoga County Jail in Cleveland, Ohio on August 30th. Not much is known about her family, but we can comfortably assume she was loved and cared for by many. Her death was unacceptable and can be attributed to increased risk factors, such as homelessness, racism, sexism, and transphobia.

Kee Sam, a 24-year-old woman,was shot at a hotel on August 12th and trasported to a hospital, where she passed away the next day from her injuries. Friends have been commenting heartfelt messages on her Instagram page including, “this can’t be real,” “I will miss you…you know you in my heart forever,” and “rest in love.”

Aerrion Burnett, a 37-year-old woman, was shot to death in Independence, Missouri on September 19th. Her friend Kelly shared, “…if you wanted to have a good day, you need to smile, Aerrion was the person you wanted by your side.” Her family members have called for justice saying, “Enough is enough. Stop taking our lives. Lives matter. You can’t get them back, and it hurts so many people.”

Mia Green, a 29-year-old woman, was killed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania on September 28th. One friend shared on social media, “Her smile was so perfect and so contagious. She made me laugh.” Another said, “She was such a sweet spirit.” Her loved ones have called her death “heartbreaking” and are demanding justice. 

Michelle Michellyn Ramos Vargas, a 33-year-old woman, was killed in San German, Puerto Rico on September 30th. She was studying to become a nurse at Ponce Paramedical College.

Felycya Harris, a 33-year-old woman, was killed in Augusta, Georgia in October. She was an interior decorator who ran her own company. She enjoyed lending her eye to improve the surroundings of others and loved to help others feel more comfortable in their own space. A friend remembers her “laugh. The smile–the smiles. The talks. The arguments. The attitudes. Everybody is going to remember who Felycya Harris is.” They say she had a brilliant sense of humor and was full of life.

Brooklyn Deshuna, a 20-year-old woman, killed by a fatal gunshot wound on October 7th in Shreveport, Louisiana. She attended Bossier Parish Community College where she studied cosmetology. One friend said, “She was genuinely a good person.” Another saying, “…you didn’t deserve this…I’m heartbroken.”

Sara Blackwood, a 39-year-old woman, was shot while walking home in Indianapolis, Indiana on October 11th and died not long after being transported to the hospital. She enjoyed playing video games, and she was a fan of the show “My Little Pony,” sharing many images, art, and memes from the show on social media. Her loved ones describe the loss as devastating. 

Angel Unique, a 25-year-old woman, was killed in Memphis, Tennessee on October 25th. She was a licensed cosmetologist and was loved by her community. Friends and family remember her for being “very funny, very nice to everybody she met” and “such a bright person with a positive spirit.”

Skylar Heath, a 20-year-old woman, was killed on November 4th in Miami Florida. Loved ones describe her as a “kind and gentle soul” who “had such a love for family and close friends.” She had a warm personality, a friendly spirit, and the ability to bring those who knew her so much joy.

Yunieski Carey Herrera, a 39-year-old woman who was also known as Yuni Carey, was killed in Miami, Florida on November 17th. She was a well-known model, performer, dancer, and activist. She was loved by the LGBTQ+ community in Miami. A friend says, “…besides strikingly beautiful, she was king and she was good.”

Asia Jynae Foster, a 22-year-old woman, was killed in Houston, Texas on November 20th, which is Trans Day of Remembrance, a day taken to honor those in the community who lost their lives to violence. She was described by her close friends as a “beacon of light in their community.”

Chae’Meshia Simms, a 33-year-old woman who also used the nickname ChaeChae, was killed on November 23rd in Richmond, Virginia. She was especially close with her family and friends. They remembered her on social media as being a good, kind, and caring person.

Kimberly Fial, a 55-year-old woman, was killed on November 22nd in San Jose, California at the homeless shelter she volunteered at. Friends say, she had the ability to draw a laugh out of people around her and was a kind, lovable person with “a twinkle in her eyes.” The shelter manager said, “My heart always felt warm when I saw her when I got into the building.”

These people had friends, families, and partners, and they were valued members of their communities. They had jobs, were enrolled in school, and attended houses of worship. They were human beings. As we mourn those lost in 2020, we must continue to work towards justice and equality for transgender and gender non-conforming people.

Study Spots

1. The steps of any of the buildings (Cooper and Elizabeth are my favorites)
2. The benches if you have a flat surface to work on
3. 2nd-floor common area
4. The patio during 5th block
5. Library (obviously)

Dorm/Res

1. Clean your room on Tuesdays. You’re not gonna want to do it on Wednesdays. Trust me.
2. Two trash cans: one by your desk and one by your bed.
3. Also: keep tissues by your bed, you’ll cry a lot.
4. Command hook by your bed to hold your badge.
5. Don’t stack your mattresses; they slide around and you’ll hit your head
6. Set up a laundry schedule and stick to it, otherwise you won’t do it.
7. Don’t bring that much stationery. You will use one black pen and one bright colored pen on the Dollar General receipt in your bookbag. Promise.
8. You won’t use the 19 coloring books you’re stacking into those sterilite containers. Put them back.
9. You need more towels than you think.
10. Also more socks.
11. Don’t pack that many shoes.
12. I’m serious, you need like three pairs if that.

Food

1. Make a Domino’s account.
2. Don’t buy bottled water more than once every two months. Grab it from the cafeteria in the morning.
3. Don’t bring breakfast foods that need to be microwaved. You’re not gonna want to walk all the way to the lounge.
4. Bring more than one set of silverware.
5. I don’t care how much you like strawberries, you’re not gonna eat them.
6. They don’t care how tall your fridge is. 
7. It’s easier if you and your roommate have separate refrigerators.

Social

1. Make friends with your seniors – they’re your best bet at survival.
2. Don’t spend all your time in your room, if you want to be alone all the time, go outside.
3. Check out at least once every two weeks with friends (or someone new); it’s good for your mental health.
4. If you’re gonna get into a relationship, do so carefully – if it goes wrong, people pick sides and it’s not healthy.
5. Don’t trust anyone with vulnerable information early on. You have to build trust like crazy.
6. Medias are some of the best people on campus to talk to.
7. You can trust Mrs. Sudie with your LIFE.
8. Keep a journal to write in at least once a week, hopefully, more. Also, take lots of pictures. These are years you won’t want to forget. 
9. BRING CARD GAMES. Dutch Blitz, Cards Against Humanity, and Uno have been my saving grace. 

Have you found a person or group of people that you would undoubtedly do anything for? I mean, anything that you could possibly do for them, you would do it. I believe I have found some of those people. Some of them I’ve known for years, others for a few months. But, when a bond is created, no matter the longevity of the relationship, you will always care for those people. You may be questioning the specific people I’m speaking about, if you are, I am speaking of close friends. 

A genuine friendship is tricky to come by, but when you do find your person, it’s the best thing in the entire world. Nothing is better than having a person you can confide in, laugh with, and have the best memories with. I feel like I don’t say it enough because I try to show it, but I really love and appreciate my friends. Love is not a word I say often. So, when I say it I mean it truthfully. 

I’m not the most vulnerable or open person, but my close friends always see that side of me. They see the needy side of me who wants to be cuddled. They see the annoying side of me who likes to bother. They see the goofy side of me who only laughs. They see me at my lowest points always offering to build me back up again. I value them and I try to let them know that often.

I’m not the most popular person, so I don’t have a large group of friends or a group really at all. But, I do have my people, if that makes sense. I have a friend who is willing to stay up until who knows when to talk about any and everything. I have a friend with who to go on random food runs. I have a friend who doesn’t mind if I come over just to nap. I have people in my life, other than family, who genuinely care about me how I care about them. I love it here. I really do. And I also really love my friends.

I create friendships with people I want to have around for the rest of my life. I want to travel the world with them. I want to grow up with them. I want them at my wedding if I ever choose to marry. (Probably not, I don’t like the concept.) In short, what I’m trying to say is don’t take your friendships for granted. Value them and let them know your appreciation for them. 

I know that once you find your group or your person, it’s understood how you feel about each other. But, it’s still nice to hear and see sometimes. Surprise your friend with their favorite meal or snack. Call them today and tell them you appreciate them. Write a letter to them. Send them a care package. Go watch that movie you promised to watch with them. (I am not promoting the breaking of social distancing, there are apps available to watch movies together 🙂 Spend time with them, while you still have that time to do so.

I’m a junior in high school. Pretty soon, I will be a senior getting ready to graduate. I will have to make more friends and care for more people. Of course, I will still have my friends now, I refuse to let our friendship die. But, we all have totally different paths we want to pursue after graduating. We’re all going to different schools in different states with different goals in mind. All I’m trying to say is create those memories now. Love your friends now.

Hopefully with good intentions,

The Biggest Undercover SIMP 

Trigger Warning: This blog will be discussing topics that might be very upsetting, such as gun violence, death, and transphobia. Specifically, it will be acknowledging trans people who have been victims of fatal, violent assault.

   In 2020, we have seen at least 40 transgender or gender nonconforming people fatally shot or killed by other violent means. These victims are not just statistics. They were real people who deserved dignity, respect, life, and love. This is one of two blogs that will be used to recognize these beautiful lives that we lost this year.

Dustin Parker, a 25-year-old man, was shot to death while working as a taxi driver in McAlester, Oklahoma. A statement shared by Dustin’s employer on January 1st reads, “Dustin was a steadfast friend, an amazing husband and father and generous to a fault. He loved fiercely, worked tirelessly and took on life with so much hope and enthusiasm that his presence brightened all of our lives.” Dustin was a founding member of the McAlester chapter of a local LGBTQ+ advocacy grown called Oklahomans for Equality.

Alexa Negròn Luciano was a woman fatally shot in Toa Baja, Puerto Rico; she was killed hours after someone called the police to report that Ruiz was using the women’s restroom at a McDonald’s. According to Metro Puerto Rico, she was known as “humble” and “noble” by members of her community.

Yampi Méndez Arocho, a 19-year-old man, was killed in Moca, Puerto Rico on March 5th after allegedly being assaulted five hours earlier. He shared his love for basketball on social media and could often be seen donning apparel from his favorite NBA team, Miami heat. His Facebook bio read, “Humility Prevails.”

Scott Devore, a 51-year-old gender non-conforming person who also identified as Scottlynn Kelly Devore, was killed in March in Augusta, Georgia while presenting as Scottlynn. Many of Devore’s loved ones took to social media to share remembrances. One wrote, “I miss you so much…it still doesn’t seem real to me. You deserved so much better. I love you.” Another saying Scottlynn was “the best friend anyone could have.” 

Monika Diamond, a 34-year-old black woman, was killed in Charlotte, North Carolina on March 18th. Monika spent her adult life creating community and spaces for LGBTQ+ people to come together and celebrate their lives and identities. She was the co-owner and founder of the Ncphyne Promotion Company LLC and the co-CEO of the International Mother of the Year Pageantry System, which is a pagent that honors LGBTQ chosen mothers like herself.

Lexi, a 33-year-old woman, was killed in Harlem, New York on March 28th. A friend of Lexi’s named Lavonia Brooks said, “I really looked up to her because of her tolerance and respect. Lexi had a beautiful heart; she was very gifted.” It has been noted that Lexi loved poetry, makeup, and fashion.

Johanna Metzger was a woman killed in Baltimore, Maryland on April 11th. She was originally from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and had traveled to Baltimore to seek support from a recovery center.  Her mother told WMAR that Johanna taught herself to play multiple instruments and was a college graduate.

Serena Angelique Velàquez Ramos, a 32-year-old woman, was killed in Puerto Rico on April 21st alongside Layla Pelaez Sànchez while visiting the island on vacation. She was set to return to her home of Queens, New York, at the end of the month. On Facebook, she listed that she graduated from the Universidad del Turabo; she loved her pets, had a passion for exploring her spirituality through tarot readings, and maintained a YouTube channel where she taught her audience about this. She is described as being full of life, a happy person, and a sincere friend. 

Layla Pelaez Sànchez was a 21-year-old woman killed in Puerto Rico on April 21st alongside Serena Angelique Velàquez Ramos. Layla had recently moved to the island and lived in the Tejas neighborhood in Las Piedras. She had hopes, dreams, and was loved deeply by the people in her life.

Penélope Díaz Ramírez, a 32-year-old woman, was killed April 13th at the Bayamon correctional complex in Puerto Rico. She was loved by her family and friends and deserved freedom and happiness in her life.

Nina Pop, a 28-year-old woman, was stabbed to death on May 3rd in Sikeston, Missouri. She worked at a fast food restaurant in the area and was well-known in her community. Her friend told a local TV station, “She was always happy.” Her friends and community are mourning the loss of her life, sharing on Facebook that everyone loved her.

Helle Jae O’Regan, a 20-year-old woman,  was killed in San Antonio, Texas on May 6th while working at a local barbershop. Helle was proud of her trans identity, having posted this on Instagram during Trans Day of Visibility: “I was looking at the pictures I used to take before I transitioned versus now and it made me realize I’m way happier than I used to be. I love myself now. Thank you to everyone who’s ever supported me and to anyone who hasn’t I hope you come around. I’m happy and proud to be myself.” She often spoke out against LGBTQ+  inequality, the need to decriminalize sex work, and the prison industrial complex. She was described as a caring friend who always had a smile on her face.

Tony McDade, a 38-year-old man, was killed in Tallahassee, Florida, on May 27th; the details around his death have been described as “murky” by several sources, but it is suspected that Tony was a victim of police brutality. His loved ones have expressed their mourning online. One said, “You have such a big heart…Just your energy would life my spirits.” Another wrote, “The bond that we all held from the #Feds2TheFree some people will never understand but when you tried you tried. I can only thank god for letting us hear your voice one last time and you saying you love us.”

Dominique “Rem-mie” Fells, a 27-year-old woman, was killed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania on June 9th. Dominique was originally from York and had a very close relationship with her mother, who says, “She lived her truth so loud that you could hear her a mile away.” Dominique had dreams of going back to school to become a fashion designer, and she was also a dancer and artist. A friend wrote online, “Dom was a unique and beautiful soul who I am lucky to have known personally. I am beside myself right now. We need to fight!! We need to do more!!!! We will get justice.”

Riah Milton, a 25-year-old woman, was killed in Liberty Township, Ohio on June 9th. Riah worked as a home health aide and studied at the University of Cincinnati. She was a loving sister and aunt. She was a resilient and optimistic person, having once posted the status: “Never been scared to struggle…Imma get it eventually.”

Jayne Thompson, a 33-year-old woman, was shot to death in Mesa County, Colorado on May 9th. Unfortunately, it took the media over a month to correctly identify Jayne with her real name and pronouns, so she was not immediately recognized as a victim of transphobic violence. Jayne’s friends remembered her as an amazing person who was funny and lively, and one told them, “I hope that people realize she was thoroughly loved and cared for.”

Selena Reyes-Hernandez, a 37-year-old woman, was shot to death in Chicago, Illinois on May 31st upon revealing her identity to her assailant. Attempts to contact her family have been unsuccessful, so details about her life and loved ones are not known by the media. She was a beautiful, powerful person who should still be here today.

Brian “Egypt” Powers, a 43-year-old person, was killed in Akron, Ohio on June 13th. According to reports, Brian identified as transgender, but continued to use he/him pronouns and his birth name, though he also used the name Egypt. As a child, Brian dreamed of becoming a backup dancer for Janet Jackson or Paula Abdul, and as an adult, he turned his passion for cooking into a career. A friend said, “He was spiritual. He knew God loved him. I always told him ‘God made you and he knew what he was doing when he made you…You are who you are supposed to be.'”

Brayla Stone, a 17-year-old girl, was found killed in Little Rock, Arkansas on June 25th. Brayla was a child, just beginning to live her life; a young, black, trans girl who had hopes, dreams, plans, and community. The Center for Artistic Revolution hosted a vigil for Brayla on June 29th and said, “Brayla was someone who always held space for others to be themselves and express their identities.”

Merci Mack, a 22-year-old woman, killed in Dallas, Texas on June 30th. On Facebook, Merci shared that she liked baking cookies at home and relaxing in the jacuzzi; she posted about how excited she was to return to her job at a local restaurant, which had been closed due to COVID-19. Her loved ones described her as a beautiful friend.

These people had friends, families, and partners, and they were valued members of their communities. They had jobs, were enrolled in school, and attended houses of worship. They were human beings. As we mourn those lost in 2020, we must continue to work towards justice and equality for transgender and gender non-conforming people.

CW: Depression and Suicide

When I was in middle school, I was absolutely obsessed with the British sci-fi drama Doctor Who. I first got into it in elementary school back when episodes aired on Disney XD for a short amount of time around 2015. I was instantly hooked, and I spent a large chunk of my childhood writing fanfiction, going to conventions, and collecting merchandise and art from the show.  One of my childhood dreams was to travel the universe in the TARDIS with the doctor, and if I’m completely honest, I’d say I still have that dream. Of course, I’d rather not meet an untimely death or have something awful happen to me, so maybe it could be a one-time trip around the stars. 

After all of this time, though, a couple of episodes still come to my mind. Out of all of them, Vincent and the Doctor, written by Richard Curtis, is probably the one I think about the most. I remember it was the one episode I wouldn’t allow my mom to delete from the DVR because of how much I adored it. The writing was phenomenal, and the beautiful imagery only added to it. It made me profoundly emotional, and I even have a poster on my wall of a quote from that episode. 

To sum up what happens, The Doctor and Amy visit an art museum and notice a strange creature in one of the windows in The Church at Auvers by Vincent van Gogh. They ask a museum guide when the painting was done, and he explains that it was painted in 1890, which was about a year before Van Gogh committed suicide. The Doctor and Amy go back in time to try and figure out the mystery behind the creature in the window. Long story short, since it is Doctor Who, the monster turns out to be an alien only Vincent can see, and The Doctor has to find a way to help it find its way home. In the end, Vincent accidentally fatally wounds the creature, and it dies in the halls of the church being comforted by The Doctor. The alien aspect of the episode is definitely the weakest, which sadly isn’t uncommon for the show. The real greatness shines through with Vincent’s character, the interactions he has with Amy and The Doctor, and the portrayal of depression in a realistic manner.

When The Doctor and Amy first arrive and meet Vincent, they witness the way the townspeople mistreat and ridicule him and his art. He’s grown to think that his art truly is horrible and he only ever does it for himself. Despite the objections from the pair, he never truly believes their praise of his art. The people around him were constantly calling him deranged and mad to the point where he fully believes it. The episode takes a few creative liberties, as do most fictional stories about historical figures, like excluding the fact that Vincent cut off part of his own ear and sent it to a woman. Rather, the story focuses more on his depression, mental anguish, and loneliness.

The ending of this episode is what brings me to tears every viewing. Before The Doctor and Amy leave, they bring Vincent into the future to see the same art museum from the beginning of the episode. When they arrive at the Van Gogh exhibit, Vincent is shocked and amazed to find his art on display. The Doctor then asks the museum guide from before to sum up where Vincent van Gogh stands in the history of art. He gives this response:

“Well, big question, but to me, Van Gogh is the finest painter of them all. Certainly, the most popular great painter of all time. The most beloved. His command of colour, the most magnificent. He transformed the pain of his tormented life into ecstatic beauty. Pain is easy to portray, but to use your passion and pain to portray the ecstasy and joy and magnificence of our world. No one had ever done it before. Perhaps no one ever will again. To my mind, that strange, wild man who roamed the fields of Provence was not only the world’s greatest artist, but also one of the greatest men who ever lived.”

It’s then that Vincent breaks into tears and thanks the museum guide for his kind words. The guide is obviously taken aback and confused by this, but before he could ask any questions, they had already left.

When they arrive back to his time in France, Vincent thanks them again and they say their goodbyes. They’ll all sad to part, but they have to return to their own time.

When Amy and The Doctor return to the museum again in the future, Amy is excited to see the exhibit and is convinced there will be new paintings now that Vincent changed his mind about suicide after he learned how much his work meant to people and the impact he had. However, when they arrive, there are no new paintings. Vincent still kills himself at the age of 37. The point of this scene was to emphasize that even though he knew how important he would be and the joy he brought others in the future, his present was still bleak and horrible for him. The knowledge that he left a great impact doesn’t change his surroundings much at all. He didn’t live in our present. When Amy realizes this, she breaks into tears at the museum and The Doctor goes to comfort her. She claims they didn’t make a difference at all, and this is when that quote I mentioned earlier is said.

“I wouldn’t say that. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant. And we definitely added to his pile of good things.”

The Doctor shows her that they did indeed make a difference by showing her the absence of the creature in the church window, and Amy catches a glimpse of new writing that’s on the painting Sunflowers. Amy had been trying to get Vincent to paint the sunflowers painting while they were there by saying how much she adored sunflowers and picking some for him. So when she got closer and saw the message “For Amy – Vincent” she smiled and realized she really did change things and was appreciated.

The way this episode and quote changed me was that I realized that every little positive thing you can say to or do for someone adds to their pile of good things in life. Part of my life goal is to add to the good things pile to everyone I meet, no matter how big of a difference it makes. Everything has a little impact— just try to make good ones. Add to the good things pile, and not the bad. I’d ask everyone reading this tries to as well. You never know how much better it could make someone’s day.

If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book. In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle.

this is the first paragraph of the book “the bad beginning” by daniel handler, otherwise known as lemony snicket – but we’ll save that for the next article topic. this book is the first in a 14-book children’s series known as “a series of unfortunate events,” which outlines the lives of the three baudelaire orphans and an unruly man’s chase after their parents’ life savings. 

readers have a tendency to hold out hope for their characters, clinging to any little bit of redemption they can claw out of the pages. i’m guilty of it, and you probably are too. we scratch and scrape at every detail, looking for something or someone or some way to help, and when we can’t, we give up. we wish our characters the best of luck, and stand in the sidelines from then on, watching them make bad decisions over and over again, with no investment to the characters’ well-being. daniel handler does not give us this option, and it’s one of my favorite literary tactics i’ve ever seen.

in other books and series, there’s a dwindling hope from the beginning – the expectation that something will work out until it doesn’t. once that trust is broken, it’s never rebuilt. 

I am sorry to tell you that this story begins with the Baudelaire orphans traveling along this most displeasing road, and that from this moment on, the story only gets worse. Of all the people in the world who have miserable lives – and, as I’m sure you know, there are quite a few – the Baudelaire youngsters take the cake, a phrase which here means that more horrible things have happened to them than just about anybody. 

this is the first paragraph of “the reptile room,” the second book in the series. similar in tone to the first paragraph of “the bad beginning,” handler uses the constant push and pull of luring the reader into holding out hope, then crushing their spirits yet again.

this consistency holds out through the entirety of the series, and i definitely think this is the best literary device i’ve seen used to keep readers hooked.

Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas” plays faintly in the background, as a warm mug of hot cocoa with precisely six mini marshmallows, warms your hands before you raise the mug to take a small sip.  It leaves a tiny mustache above your upper lip before you lick it clean. Decorations ranging from frosty whites to emerald greens can be seen displayed in a neat sort of disarray in every direction. The cold of the outside fights at the window seals for an unwanted entrance as a muted holiday special plays from the television. This is how I know it’s Christmas.

Excitement for the 25th day in December starts on December 26th. Right after the mess of abandoned gift wrappings and torn boxes are cleaned, my heart does a little sigh that the day is almost over. Yes, I know Christmas starts as soon as your feet hit a chilled floor, but it’s over just as quickly. Once your anticipation over what you have received has passed, and the joy of watching someone open a gift you bought dies down, Christmas is good as over.

Some people celebrate Christmas for more holy aspects, and that is completely respected. But, you see me, I celebrate Christmas for the pretty lights and the joy of giving. I’d like to consider myself a rather generous person. (Sometimes) So, being the sweet angel I am, I look at potential gifts year-round. As soon as I think I know what a person not only wants but needs, I make a list of it. Can I ever find those lists when I need them? Of course not! But, it’s the thought that counts. 

If you are anything like me, you may find yourself listening to Christmas music in July. Once the Christmas spirit enters me, it rarely leaves. That Christmas spirit hasn’t found me yet. I’ve already bought gifts, listened to “All I Want For Christmas” at least twenty times trying to awaken the spirit, and it still hasn’t found me. I even went to view Christmas lights with my friends over break.

Maybe the weather isn’t cold enough yet. Maybe my mind sensed that this year has been anything but normal. I hope that the skinny legend, Mariah Carey blesses me with some holiday spirit on the 25th play. My voice may go out if I continue to try to hit those high notes. Maybe I should pass out candy canes to spark the joy for Christmas. Or binge of some of my holiday favorites.

Let me know I’m not alone in this holiday funk I’m feeling. Tell me how you get into the holiday spirit. 

With a soon to be hoarse voice,

Candy Cane Snatcher