Category: Junior Literary

I’ve always been a big reader. I would sleep with books under my pillow when I was a toddler. In elementary, middle school, and even the first year or so of high school, you could never catch me without a book in my hand. That’s always been my luxury get away and I felt incomplete without knowing that a book was under my desk or in my book bag. I still feel incomplete without my books. I typically stuff my book bag with work and like three different books that I don’t even have time to read. I’m aware that I don’t have time to read but, as I said before, the knowledge of them being near me is so comforting. Some of my top favorites are The Book Thief and I Am The Messenger by Markus Zusak, Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green, and The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer. I’ve been into so many different genres of books like thrill, horror, comedy, and drama. I was always the top reader in elementary school. Lately, though, I haven’t been reading. I mean, I finished and started a book over the Christmas break but I want to catch up on so much more. I miss reading with all of my heart and I don’t have as much time to go to a bookstore and read all the summaries and skim through the pages. So, it kind of hinders me from being able to find books that I could be interested in. Which brings me to why I’ve written this post. If anyone has any books that they’d think I’d be remotely interested in, please please please give me a list or something!! I really miss reading with all my heart and I’m gonna be packing my summer with reading and catching up on what I’ve been missing. So yeah! Tee-hanks!

we start with learning how to function as a normal human being.

our body takes care of the basics; eating, sleeping, breathing, etc., but at sometime we start to hit milestones. rolling over, walking, talking, going to school. From the moment we are born we are taught how to live as a person.

my question is, what makes someone’s personality different from that of their friends.

obviously there’s up bringing. something that differentiates me from everyone else is the people and environment that was around me. I’m a collage of my family’s and friends traits. i’m also a big believer that while those things can determine a person’s personality and mindset, it isn’t always the determining factor. some serial killers were brought up in nice, respectable households. and some people grow up in a horrendous house and town, and turn out to be the sweetest people i’ve ever gotten the pleasure to meet. not to say this has to be the case with everyone.

genetics also apparently factor in. family traits can carry on, same with mental illness, but that doesn’t mean it accounts for everything. Even identical twins only have up to about 50% of the same personality traits/interests.

the last factor of sorts ties in with environment, but it’s life events. positive or negative events can sway a person and how they act. anything from a transcending trip to a traumatic memory trigger the shift.

all this said, sometimes a bad person is just destined to be a bad person. same with good people. people can change, yes, but they have to make that conscious effort. maybe it is out of their control. who knows.

nature vs. nurture is a whole debate.

personally i can’t choose to believe either is the right answer. all of these factors seem to clash too much for either to the one thing. i wish it was that simple. to have a kid, raise them “right”, give them my whole heart, and them go out into the world and be the best person ever. sadly, that’s just a risk you have to take. have a kid, do the best you can, and hope for the best. i think that’s one of the most terrifying parts about the whole building a family thing. other than messing a kid up. even if you they turn out to be the next notorious serial killer, you have that unconditional love. or at least most parents do. that’s also scary. to love someone so much. not ready for that no sir.

i’ll just stick to raising my sweet pup, being able to sleep well at night knowing i can’t mess up bringing a dog into this world.

 

I want someone to tell me how to be happy.

 

I want someone to take me to the end of the rainbow,

where they have found their very own happiness.

 

Take the corners of my fallen mouth and turn them upright.

Sew them up with purple thread because that’s my favorite color.

 

Take my tears and store them somewhere sacred.

Where someday I can go back and spread them,

on the dead ashes of the sadness inside me.

 

Reattach my hair back together with my scalp.

Do so carefully because they are delicate too.

 

Pinch my cheeks to give them a rosy color,

even if the only way is through pain.

 

Lift my drooping shoulders and arch my slumping spine.

So that I can stand tall in hopes of seeing the light,

at the end of the dark tunnel I’ve been traveling through.

 

Take a magic marker and erase the darkness under my eyes,

Because the pigmentation is taking away from the beautiful blue eyes,

I used to get complimented on some time ago

 

Put my puzzling mind back in place,

One by one so I’ll know if I’m missing a piece or not.

 

Piece me back to whole because I can’t remember what that was like anymore.

First, you must get married. Find a man that you half-way love, and convince yourself he is the love of your life. Ignore his faults, and tell your parents he is the one.  Craft a fairy tale in which he is your prince, and he’s found your glass slipper in a hole-in-the-wall sports bar. Throw away all your convictions of love, because this illusion will be your reality of love. Know him for five months, and talk about the subject of marriage. Get no engagement ring. Decide you’re both too mature for that. Plan a wedding for the somewhere tropical, maybe Key West, but get eloped in Vegas. Be a walking stereotype for twenty year olds in love. Move from his hometown to New York. Be young, and in love, and New York. He pesters you to have children. You’re not sure it’s what you want. Spend a couple more years, just the two of you and your career. Write love letters to him, telling him he’s different from all the other football players you’ve dated. There’s something about him you can’t put your finger on. Or maybe you just can’t capture it within the 8 x 5 letter paper.

Tell him you’re pregnant. Watch as his co-workers pat him on the back, and say “Congrats man!” Spend the next couple of months watching your belly grow. You tell him you’re going to go back to work a week after she’s born. He complies. Notice he becomes less frustrated, and pray that it stays that way. Give birth to your baby girl, and fall in love for the second time. You look past her crooked nose and smushed face. You see an angel. Interview nannies and realize you cannot leave your angel alone. You never go back to work. Beg him for more children.

Get pregnant for the second time years later. His anger starts up again. Hear his yelling, and pray again. Pray. Pray. Pray. You still believe in God because your child is proof from heaven. Have your second child, a boy, and love deeply. Convince your husband to move back to his home town, to be closer to his parents. Your husband’s anger will burn bright. Try your best to shield your children from it.

It escalates from throwing words to throwing objects. T.V. remotes, shoes, anything. Argue with him about what kind of dog food to buy, if your boy should play sports (he doesn’t want to, much to his dad’s dismay), where all your saving’s money is going to, etc. He will deny that he is in the wrong about anything. Watch as one cup of wine turns into ten shots of vodka. One night, at three a.m. he will stumble in from bar hopping. Somehow, in his haze, he will tear the fan in the master bedroom down to the floor. He will try and salvage the ceiling fan drunkenly.

Wake up the next morning, call the handyman, and pretend like nothing happened. You will pretend so hard that you will forget what’s real and what’s not. When you’ve had too much, you’ll bring up the idea of couple’s therapy, and he will pretend right back at you. This is when you’ll realize your marriage is a lie. A childish fairy-tale, similar to when you little girls plays make believe. Contemplate leaving for the first time. You’re not sure where, but it doesn’t matter to you.

Contemplate leaving for the second time and decide you want to move back with your parents.

When you contemplate leaving for the third time, you call your mom, and tell her you’re coming home. Tell your husband later that night that you’re leaving. He gets angry again, screaming about how life is unfair and all the reasons you aren’t allowed to. Just tell him the way it is, and that you’re leaving come next week. He doesn’t seem to believe you until he comes home a week later and the only trace of his family is a forgotten baby shoe.

Leaving your marriage is the exact way you save it.

Okay, I told myself I wouldn’t get into any new obsessions this year. I really did promise myself. Well… I broke that promise to myself. I kinda got into a new podcast series. It’s called “Welcome to Night Vale.”

“Night Vale” is a podcast that is made on both YouTube and iTunes. This podcast is… what can only be described as amazing. The very first episode enters with a voice saying these words:

“A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome to Night Vale.”

Then the music comes. Oh my god, the music in this podcast is wonderful. I love it so much, and it’s so catchy that I can’t help but hum along every time I hear it.

We discover that the name of the show host is Cecil Palmer, broadcasting on the radio from Night Vale. He talks about the events happening in Night Vale, like the civilization of people living under the pin retrieval area in lane five, or the dog park, that doesn’t allow people or dogs inside the dog park.

He also tells us about a newcomer named Carlos, who is a scientist. He describes Carlos as having dark skin, and having “long, perfect hair.” He admits that he was infatuated the moment he met him. And hoenstly, it is so refreshing to see a gay romance story in a work of fiction. There’s characters that reperesent almost every aspect of the LGBT+ community, and it’s very refreshing to see.

Later in the series, we learn of Night Vale’s enemy town, Desert Bluffs. Desert Bluffs is just like Night Vale in many ways: it’s a small desert community with townspeople who love their community. However, there is one major difference: the whole town is under the thumb of an evil corporation called Strex Corp, and they have mind-wiped everyone in the town, turning them into violent and obedient “employees” under Strex.

Everyone in Night Vale has a counterpart that lives in Desert Bluffs. Cecil’s coutnerpart is named Kevin. From his description, we are told that he looks like Cecil, except that he has “black gaping eyes and a sinister smile.” Every time Kevin and Cecil interact with each other, it’s a battle to survive the encounter.

The Night Vale community is a strange one, that is true, but there is one thing that makes it equivalent to any other town in our normal world: they love their community, and they care for their friends and family. Even when the town is threatened by the street cleaners on Street Cleaning Day, or when portals open that bring in their violent Desert Bluffs counterparts, they still do their best to protect each other.

And I think that’s a beautiful message for this quaint little show.

And now, the weather.

Here at MSA, I go by Carter. It’s not a preference; I don’t mind being called Imani because that’s my name. Carter is typically what I want to change my last name to because I genuinely hate my current last name and I’ve always wanted to change it. But, I feel like there’s a difference between Skipwith and Carter. When I say this, I mean Jackson Imani (Skipwith) and MSA Imani (Carter). I started noticing this a couple weeks ago and I was talking to someone the other day about the changes I make when entering these different environments. When I’m Imani, I try to maintain a certain image everywhere I go. Skipwith’s a really smart person who doesn’t have any anxiety, depression, and works hard to maintain a good image. She works hard to make everyone happy; if everyone else is happy, so is she. She has no problems with religion. She’s  an all around happy and fun-loving person and though she has moods, they don’t last very long.

However, Skipwith is just the surface of Imani while Carter is the depth, it seems. Carter is still smart but she’s not as interested in academics like Skipwith. She’d rather be somewhere writing, drawing, or learning an instrument. She really dislikes school because of the previous pressure that was put on her from years back that Skipwith dealt with. And yes, Carter has always been there of course, but her full debut has been here at MSA away from the having to maintain a certain image and be this person everyone that she was. So, when heading back to Jackson, I have to be Skipwith and leave Carter behind at MSA. Lately, she’s been sneaking back to Jackson with me, though. Carter isn’t too worried about religion, either. She doesn’t get too caught up in beliefs or go strictly by the book. Carter isn’t afraid to hide her issues. She will tell you she has anxiety. She most definitely will tell you she has depression if it comes to that. She’s more cautious than Skipwith. She won’t leak out things that she feels will harm her later on. She thinks through so many situations at once. She doesn’t have that mental barrier that Skipwith has either. She did once upon a time but now that it’s down, she wears her heart on her sleeves and it’s more obvious than if it were Skipwith.

It’s just been weighing heavy on my chest lately. The surface of me and the depth of me. That’s just the way I think of it. As Carter and as Skipwith. It’s a topic I don’t talk about much and I had to get it off my chest somehow. Becoming Imani Carter is just interesting, but I feel more comfortable and more myself when I’m not wearing that mask. Honestly, being Imani Skipwith is draining because all I can do is hold it in but Carter doesn’t care. If she has to let it out, she will. If she needs to scream, she will do so. Imani Carter is so natural and more like who I need to be. I will, of course, still have tendencies of my past self, which is just how it is. So, yeah, my name’s Imani Skipwith-Carter and I approve this message.

seraphims, close to god. full of love, burning bright. an icarus that gets too close to the sun, but never get’s burned. maybe its because they are the sun. maybe its just because they’re an angel. four faced, snakes. trustworthy to god, but not to common folk. beware of the seraphims. more than faces than geminis and bright with love. gods mightiest.

cherubim, record keepers. full of knowledge from the heavens. gods intern. sent to get coffee, refill water coolers, and to exile adam and eve from eden. cat-like, but closer to humans than their predecessors. neanderthals to humans, seraphims to cherubim. not always holy, lucifer was of the cherubim. not all are as they seem. god cannot always tell the divine from the devilish.

thrones, carriers of god. meant to hold up the mightiest man himself, using their hand-crafted muscles to raise his throne above their head. degraded to the name of the thing that are presiding over. high-ranking angel, but at what cost? chariot of god or one-trick pony? depends on who is looking. lower-class would kill over the position, but it gets tiring to hold for eternity. even angels are sinful. lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride.

dominions, pretty boys. faux humans with wings like the big-shots. a higher, lesser angel. presides over those below them, despite being of low-rank themselves. decoration to show that heaven can be beautiful too.

virtues, poster boys for heaven. lower class, but all the fame. answering prayers, taking names. miracle arranger, only loves the faithful. link between mortals and humans. other worldy, but still somehow real. real just like you and me. except i can’t seem to make the blind see or mend broken hearts. id be pretty well off if i could.

power of authorities, warriors of a land unknown. fighting demons, taking names, and also somehow managing the entire universe. i thought that was god’s job? soldiers just like ours, although ive never seen a sergeant with wings. said to be the most loyal of all, but lucifer had high hopes for him too.

principalities of rulers, more protectors of the people. humans cant seem to take care of themselves. fickle, fragile creatures in need of a hero. principalities are over a group. cliques are only for high school, heaven has them too. make sure youre in one or else these angels will not answer calls to rescue.

archangels, one and seven. michael, army leader. defeater of lucifer, whos keeping score? raphael, harmony healer. emotional health is equal to physical health. healer of all, heavenly. gabriel, messenger and teacher. writers alike are touched with her writing talents. jophiel, beauty is in the eye of the beholder with her. shields artists and their craft. uplifting like bergamot. ariel, guardian of all the sebastians and flounders alike. fauna is her domain. azrael, angel of death. end of road greeter. chamuel, defender against woes and anxieties. generation zs archangel.

angels, pawns of heaven. tend personally to humans. hallmark greeting card, generic heaven resident. lowest rank, but all the fame. heavens corrupt hierarchy.

This is my final blog of 2018. In celebration, I would like to give an overview of my best works. Let me know if you agree or disagree with my list!

10. Eggo Pasta Piano

“Go outside and smell the piano

My mother would always say”

Eggo Pasta Piano spawned from an assignment where we had to make a poem using three random words. What were my words? Ego, pasta, and piano. However, being the hungry person I am, I misread ego as “eggo.”

9. Current Events- A Thank You Letter

Current Events- A Thank You Letter, was a piece inspired by a late-night show I had watched. In this, I thank everyone from KDA to Nintendo in a sarcastic tone. The humorous piece mocks the absurdity of the currently popular and talked about things. This poem was read at coffee house, and was actually my first time on program!

8. Pokemon Gone

Pokemon Gone is essentially a step-by-step guide on what not to do. The story follows the protagonist, who is obsessed with popular mobile game Pokemon Go. The character is able to get lost in the woods, eat their phone, and star a forest fire before realizing that their car was only a few yards away from where they were.

7. Discrimination ‘gainst MSA

After being inspired by the traffic in Brookhaven, I wrote Discrimination ‘gainst MSA. It speaks in a Shakespearean tone to get across the injustices of crosswalks. The piece also touches on many subjects like bullying and abuse. Continuing, the piece tells how MSA and its staff are able to relieve us of those issues we may have faced at previous schools.

6. Dear Whomever it May Concern

Dear Whomever it May Concern is written through the point of view of a woman in the American Revolution. She keeps a happy face while madness is all around her. She talks about her alcoholic tendencies, and her grief and anger over her husbands death. In the end, she must force herself to become someone she is not. It was her only way of survival in a man’s world.

5. Mermaids

Youve all heard the normal mermaid stories. This, is not normal. Mermaids is about a Siren with a bad voice, and her reverse mermaid friend. Thats about all I can say about this piece

4. Cat Cat

This piece has a rap battle in it, which was quite fun to write. One person called this their “favorite manga” despite it being a word-based book. This is very much anime-like. It is about a cat, and the owner (Who has a very unfortunate name.) The two continue to get in horrible situations, all because of the housemaid.

3.Dinosaurs Love Turtles

This one is pretty self explanatory. It is uniting people through dinosaurs and turtles.

2. The Last Wheelbarrow
The last wheelbarrow is about Kevin Lloyd, a college student who accidentally destroys the town and the ecosystem in only one week. It may be one of the most absurd things I have ever written. However, I can totally see it happening in some town, somewhere.

1. Soup Snat

Soup Snat has to be number one, just because of how many times it is still referenced. Every few days, I am reminded of this poem. There is no point or meaning to take from it. It is simply a snake cat that collects pumpkins like Santa collects cookies. True art.

The year is drawing to a close, and this will be the last blog post of the year 2018. This year has been a trip honestly. I don’t even remember January much, let alone October. But I think I’ll do a review of this year for this blog post. So we’ll see how much I remember!

Seriously, I remember nothing. Though January hosts the birthdays of my mom and my cousin, so happy birthday to them! Oh wait! I met this really cool girl, and we got super close. Her name’s Lindsey, and we met in my journalism class. It was crazy how close we got in about a month. It got to the point where some of our classmates thought we were dating, but nope. Not true.

February was a fun month. Why? Because the Winter Olympics (Feb. 8-25) went down! I tuned in especially when men’s figure skating came on. I was rooting for the Russian skaters, Mihkail Kolyada and Dmitri Aliev, and American skater, Nathan Chen. The hype for Chen was crazy – he was supposed to be the first male to land five quad jumps at the Olympics, but when he competed the first night, the pressure got to him and he didn’t land them. But that changed for his final skate. He not only landed all five of his quad jumps, he added an extra quad to redeem himself. It was awesome. There was a kid in my grade who was also into figure skating for the same reason I was (Yuri on Ice), and we’d talk to each other about the skate programs everyday in our first block. Man… That was nice.

March-April

Two more months I remember nothing about. Next!

The only thing I remember from May was New Student Day, here at MSA. It was nice meeting all the seniors and getting to see some of my peers. But that’s about it besides school ending.

June-July

Celebrated my birthday in June, spent as much time with Jennifer as I could, got to see family… Got on a boat for the first time! Yep, lived on the coast for 16 years and had never been on a boat. That’s a summary of the life I live.  Also spent the latter part of July buying stuff for my dorm.

August-September

School. That’s all I remember in this span of time. 

Ah, October, also known as Morgan’s favorite month, it just had to be featured! So what happened this month? This awesome band know as Ice Nine Kills released their album, The Silver Scream, on October 5th.  Leading up to their release, all I did was listen to them. Every. Single. Day. It was beautiful. And the album was worth the wait, in my opinion. Also, Halloween happened, but I wasn’t home for that so there aren’t any memories associated with it this time. 

November-December

Absolutely nothing. Except maybe a little bit of stress, but I’m actually managing it well! So it’s not that bad.

 

There comes a time when you just have to sit down and breathe. You have to look yourself in the mirror and accept that your life is not perfect. Sometimes you are going to feel alone, and other times you will wish you were alone. Sometimes a sad song will come on the radio and you will be forced to feel everything you have been suffocating inside. You’ll get into an argument with your boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, or your parents. You’ll want to run away. Sometimes you will have no where to go because the pain is everywhere. You will try to talk to your dead friends and imagine what they’d say, but it will never come out right. You will swear up and down that you’re losing your mind. Sit down. Breathe.

There comes a time when you have stop thinking and dance. Forget about the exams for a moment. Forget about the future. Forget about the minute before when you were screaming into the phone. Crank your playlist up and dance. Stop wondering if it’s going to work out. Stop concerning yourself with whether or not your going to make friends. Stop crying. Don’t worry about the people who laughed at you when you tripped down the stairs or over a tree root. Stop trying to be perfect because that doesn’t exist. Live in the moment. Stop thinking. Dance.

There comes a time when you have to laugh at yourself. Instead of freaking out about when you embarrassed yourself the first day of school, or when your mom spilled coffee on that really cool guy with the beanie, just laugh. Stop covering your face in shame every time you speak and don’t make any sense. You’re awkward, so what? Find the humor in who you are instead of the faults. Remember that time you cried in class over an assignment? You are so dramatic, but that’s okay. Laugh at it. Laugh at the time you sneezed on your boyfriend and the time you were obsessing over some actor that you can’t even remember the name of. Laugh about how you and your roommates argued over a light, and how you still can’t remember how to get to your own house. Replace the tears with a smile. Don’t judge yourself. Laugh at yourself.

For once in your life, find the joy around you. Look at your little cousins and feel the warmth in your belly. Walk with your best friend and talk about nothing and everything at the same time. Listen to her sing all the time, even when it gets annoying. Poke fun at your siblings; make them laugh. Gossip with your closest cousin, and tell each other secrets. Talk to your mom about all your problems, even when you’re mad at her. Lay in bed with the one you love, and don’t say anything. Hold his hand when he drives you home. Kiss him under the stars. Be happy. Stop stressing. Sit down, breathe, stop thinking, dance, laugh, be you. Find the beauty in your life an hold on to it. Most of all, never forget, you will get through it.