Author: Maryana

Literary Junior at MSA

The Perfect Horror

I am a huge fan of horror. It doesn’t matter if it’s psychological, serial killers, supernatural, folktale, etc. I love horror with a burning passion. I have only one complaint though — it’s all so repetitive.

Before I even geek out, I want to define “the perfect horror” in my own definition. Horror is supposed to frighten, disturb, or scare an audience — it has many subdivisions and that’s okay. If it’s psychological horror, I want to see the main character spiral and lose their mind while I’m being scared too. If it’s apocalyptic, I want to see an invasive species take over while I cower in fear too. If I’m not slightly disturbed or scared — I don’t think it did a well enough job. But that’s my opinion as a veteran in this genre.

I’ve watched horror movies and read books since I was in elementary. Recently I’ve found that the jump scares or suspenseful scenes don’t scare me as much as they did years or even months ago. I can predict cliche lines, cues, and even deaths. Some movies or books are a poor excuse for gore while others shouldn’t even be classified as horror to begin with. Even with some of the most popular subgenres of horror — analog horror and Minecraft horror.

Analog horror did me dirty to say the least. I watched Mandela Catalogue right before it blew up. It had me second guessing my own faith for a few months before I became fully grounded in it. Satan himself — deceiving humanity to be their savior while wearing the skin of Gabriel was a bold start. It was so similar to the actual story of the birth of Christ that it messed with my head. To be fair, I watched this when I was way too young — eleven years old to be exact. So of course it damaged me mentally, but I feel like it can still be classified as the perfect horror.

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The Walten Files reminded me of the fear “Five Nights at Freddy’s” gave me when I was even younger. Obelisk, Vita Carnis, Greylock, The Return of the Pumpkin Rabbit,  and even The Oldest View, had me shook to my core. There’s so many other series that have had a lasting impact on me. There are also some that didn’t give me the scare I was looking for, but I’m not here to bash or discredit someone’s work. I just want to talk about the perfect horror.

To anybody who loves Minecraft as much as me, we all know horror isn’t new in this game. Especially with a silly Herobrine sighting in every video uploaded in the early 2010s. The “newer” version of Minecraft horror is the player being stalked by a humanoid creature. It stalks, it howls, and then it hits you once or twice in a chase and you’re dead. It was unique and utterly terrifying at first — but so repetitive.

I’ve been obsessed with these horror genres since middle school. So many videos and so many years. Even though I still love a good scare from these subgenres, I’m tired of it.

I’m tired of the horror mods that look identical and do similar methods from the mods before them. I’m tired of some analog horror series not having any real depth to them. Just a quick cash grab or a cheap way to scare people. Why can’t I watch something completely different? In recent videos, the most unique horror mod to come about was the “Long Horse” mod by Lookout2DD.

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The fact that the horse didn’t attack when the player was nearby was already odd, but when it was revealed that the horse is far more superior than the player had me stunned. I saw that the horse had removed the “Save and quit to title” button from the player, it was haunting — not to mention that it could literally see and chase him in spectator mode. And the way it was modeled is what really got me. I don’t know if it’s the eyes, face or the gory sight of its elongated neck, but I hate looking at that thing. The horse lived up to its name of being long necked. Personally, I feel like that Minecraft horror video was perfect.

Again, I’m not here to spew hate to the videos or series that didn’t scare me, I’m just ranting about an issue (that really isn’t an issue, but still an issue) that I have. Thank you to the people who took the time to actually read this!!<333

I am Her and She is Me

I read one of the greatest books of all time my freshman year by accident. I say “by accident” because I wasn’t voluntarily trying to look for it. I was just trying to find myself in literature before I had to grow up. Anyways, the book was titled “Turtles All the Way Down” by John Green. I had never felt so understood before as I did while reading that book. Especially by a complete stranger. Aza Holmes is the star of this book — A teenage girl dealing with grief, anxiety, and most importantly — obsessive compulsive disorder.

Turtles All the Way Down by John Green - Penguin Books AustraliaImage result for turtles all the way down

People often joke about OCD, so it gets watered down dramatically. Society doesn’t realize that it’s so much more than a feeling of slight discomfort from something being out of order. This condition can range from the obsession with arrangement, harmful ideation, germs, timing, or even texture. The best way to explain OCD to those that don’t suffer from it is — a phobia that someone tries to get rid of completely. For me and Aza, it is germs. This would mean wasting an entire can of Lysol, washing our hands fifteen times in less than half an hour, spiraling thoughts, or even complete meltdowns. This mental illness took complete control over Aza’s life and so many other people’s lives. Real people.

Ocd Compulsions Examples 10 Myths And Facts About Obsessive Compulsive

I’m not using obsessive compulsive disorder as a way to bash those that are ignorant enough to joke about it or the folks that have to suffer from it. Whether they’re diagnosed or not. I reflect on “Turtles All the Way Down” at least once a week and live with OCD daily, so I thought, ‘why not just yap about it for a few paragraphs?”

Any who, earlier in my blog I mentioned “arrangement, harmful ideation, timing and texture”. I know at least one person reading this has no clue what I meant. Arrangement is the most common form of OCD. Biggest to smallest or vice versa, colors, or numbers being in a specific order, etc. You get the gist of it. Harmful ideation probably threw off a lot of people and maybe even concerned some. What I mean by this is someone being afraid of hurting someone else or themselves. They usually hide sharp objects behind locks, pills or anything else that can be used to do damage. Also, I just wanted to state my opinion that this may be one of the worst forms of this disorder. I am so thankful I don’t struggle with it and for those that do, I hope they can get efficient help.

The timing part of OCD is probably a little confusing to some, so an example would be, “If I don’t do this in time, something really bad will happen”. Spoiler: NOTHING IS EVER GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!! Shocker, I know.

The last kind of OCD (that I listed; there’s many more variations) would be touching something that feels “wrong”. Technically it isn’t wrong, but you can’t reason with the mental. This may result in touching whatever it was exactly like before to “undo” the feeling, rubbing something else aggressively or getting agitated. If none of this makes sense to you, then congratulations, you probably don’t have obsessive compulsive disorder! But if it did make sense, I totally understand. I don’t have any words of encouragement or advice for you but keep going. You’ve made it this far and have had a lot of ups in your life, so keep moving forward. And thank you to anybody who’s read this — my first ever blog. I hope you enjoyed it more than you might’ve cringed at it.