Life of an Aromantic

I don’t really know what to do for this blog, and I’ve been mulling it over for a few days, so I decided. Hey. Let me talk about myself!! I like doing that.

I hate to say something like “the world revolves around romance” or “all everyone ever thinks about is boys/girls” because, while that may be true, it kind of doesn’t reflect my experiance as a person. It’s a quick way to say that I don’t like hearing about romance, I guess. I just don’t agree with putting people who experiance romantic attraction down and suggest they’re childish or stupid for feeling that way and wanting to be loved.

With today’s current culture the world does very much revolve around love. Which is a cute thought, at first, until you realize it’s not so much of “love” and more of “lets tell little girls that the only way they’ll ever be something is if they’re loveable, and tell little boys that the only way they’ll ever be something is if they can provide and protect” and other gender expectations that are just… weird. Throw in a little purity culture, other gender stereotypes, beauty standards, mix it all together then you get, and I am REALLY dumbing this down to not include queer dating culture just yet, girls who don’t feel like they’re enough and boys who feel like they could do better. Or, sometimes, vice versa. The world a little bit revolves around who’s dating who, and it doesn’t so much as make me uncomfortable as much as it makes me sad. I’ve seen people I genuinely love and care about go to extremes because they dug a hole for themselves and now they’re not the same person I knew three weeks ago.

I’ve had people tell me that I just “wouldn’t understand” and that I should “stop talking about something you’ll never experiance” which, ouch. I don’t feel romantic attraction, but that doesn’t mean I’m incapable of loving people. I just don’t really get the hype about finding someone to date, I guess? I joke a lot, and I can say i’ve been influenced to feel like I can only have “the one” and like???? ???? I won’t be correct unless I have someone who loves ME, who wants to date ME, ect. I guess that’s just me being greedy or idk. 

I don’t really understand the whole actively look for someone to date thing, i’m gonna be so honest. It confuses me when i meet people and they only talk about people they find hot, or pretty, or want to date. It frustrates me when i see my friends genuinely being upset, angry, pushing people away, then hurting themselves because of someone else not liking them. I genuinely had a friend come to me and say “no one loves me, no one has ever loved me”. I told her i loved her and she told me “That’s not the same.” and i just dont get it. How is it not the same? Whats the difference between romantic and platonic affection? The only way i’ve seen it is that it’s socially acceptable to kiss a romantic partner and not a platonic. Other than that i don’t have a clue. Why do people talk to date and not talk to be friends? Am i crazy? It makes me FEEL crazy every time someone talks about it, so i just avoid the subject.

Whichhhhhh is why I’m so happy with the Aromantic label. I’m fine with a romantic relationship, great with one, even, but the queer community is a diverse place with lots of people who feel the same or similar ways and it’s so, so fun. I’m not going to go into a bunch of detail on different terms, but i found one that kind of just sums up my experience with somehow (????) convincing myself REGULARLY that i have a crush on people, when i definitely do NOT. 

The term is “squish”, and it’s like the aromantic version of a crush. Crushes are when you want to be closer to date someone and a squish is that but “I REALLY want to be that person’s friend.” And i get that soooo much. If anyone has had a conversation with me i promise that I’ve mentioned like 5 people that i think i talk about like i’m a little insane and i SWEAR im not it’s just i really really wanna be their friend!!! 

That’s enough of that, because i’m sleepy and writing this superrr late because i forgot to in class, so kiss kiss!!!!!! And i’ll see about like actually posting something informational next time we have blogs

Author: Danny Freels

In any situation, under any circumstance, I'd rather be loud and incorrect over being silent and right. I'd rather speak loudly when I do, in the case someone needs to hear it - If a correction needs to be made or not. There is a special comfort in having your own thoughts, but a greater connection in sharing that thought with another. Everything you encounter may not be magical, it may not be loving, or it may not be kind. That's not to say everything is ugly; However, if we shy away from what is we will never notice how full up of the good we feel when we do find it. I've devoted myself to telling the ugly the same way I would tell the kind, for the selfish reason of enjoying it that much more when I encounter it. I share that story, that thought of my selfishness, in case I happen to be loud and right. View all posts by Danny Freels