Is this a blog? I’m not super sure. I mean, yeah, it COULD be a blog. But what if it isn’t? Why wouldn’t it be a blog? Does the blog blog the blogger or the blogger blog the blog? Why is a blog? Blog? Oh, oh boy! I’m not too sure what this mess is here, please ignore it. Oh dear. My thoughts are scattered right now, it’s been pretty stressful.
So, welcome to another blog, I think. Frankly, I’m not even sure. I write a five page mini history lesson on writing, finishing on blogs and the idea of what a blog is. I’m still not sure. I could have been wrong! What if I wasn’t? What if, I was only half right? Oh but these trivial things don’t matter. No, they don’t matter at all!
Hello! Goodbye! This is the end of this blog, well, it would be, but it isn’t. Is it? You would know, wouldn’t you. Is this interesting? Is it engaging? Do you feel nervous? Is this too fast paced? Should I slow down? I’ll try slowing down.
I ponder wearily, listening to the noise of my surroundings, imagining the skies above, is this too slow? Oh, I don’t fuss much over, however, as in the end, this joke, this… façade, is only for this paragraph. I, the author, the writer, the weaver of words, control the pace. Oh, not you, not little you, oh dear reader, oh dear precious reader. What could happen next? Well, anything! This is, possibly, a blog, after all! I could talk about the white wooden fences, lightly gilded by moss that’s shade is a sickly green. I could write about a river, with a dilapidated bridge, children playing on the banks, poking passing fish with sticks. Oh, anything could happen, whatever I desire, the cold of the artic, or the deepest lakes of fire. Fantastic! It’s fantastic! Though, I do, in fact, believe that you, dear reader, are prepared, and possibly even anxious, to get this bit, this little pest of a joke, over and done with. Well, good for you, oh dear, dear reader. This paragraph, this moment, is finished and done.
We’ve reached an ending, of sorts, though we’ve only just started. I must ask, how have you been doing? Have you been enjoying my little pastime? I certainly have. Oh, I’ll miss you so, so much. It’s been raining so often and I know not when it will stop. It could be over today, or we could have weather worse than before. What’s that? You want to learn something? You think that if you don’t learn something it isn’t a blog? Oh, how dreary. That’s rather sad, don’t you think?
Are you incapable of appreciating something for what it is? Are you dense? Out of your mind, even? Oh, I write these blogs for you and you don’t even? I swear! Well, no matter, I must calm down. Oh, oh boy. Doesn’t like my blogs? Oh, I’ll blog at them! I’ll blog harder than before!
YES! This IS a blog! Isn’t that the question you so desperately wanted an answer to? Why wouldn’t it be? I’m blogging. It’s just me, you, and you, and you, and you, and oh. Who cares. It’s just me and the lot of you. No, I am, in fact, not British! I am simply quite upset at your audacity. I am the writer, so if I say it’s a blog then it is!
I suppose the goodbye is only getting closer. One day these blogs will stop. Will you miss them? Will you miss me? Oh. I hope you miss me. I miss you every second I’m not writing these. So, farewell reader, I hope time does you well. Oh, and, please, stop by for my next one. Live long, and blog well!