Learning To Be Alone

Recently, I’ve been spending a lot of time by myself, and it has been the hardest, most uplifting time of my life. About two months ago, I ended up getting a room by myself, and it was really scary for me at first because I had never been truly on my own in my entire life. I always shared a room with my sister or (of course) had a roommate. The feeling was very new to me, and I knew that it was going to take some time to get used to.

The first two weeks were really rough. It was very silent when I woke up, and throughout the entire day as well. I had two off blocks at the time, so I spent a lot of time in my room. I know you’re probably thinking, “Vic, don’t you have friends?” and the answer is yes, I do have friends, but at the time, everyone was studying and worrying about their own problems. Therefore, there wasn’t much time to hang out. I spent most of my time on my phone watching Tiktok or making Tiktoks (HA). Looking back at this, I wasted a lot of valuable time that I could have used to do more productive things instead of trying to distract myself from my loneliness.

It wasn’t until during Thanksgiving break that I started to improve myself and make myself be more productive. I also had the house to myself for half of the week, so that too was a time where I was forced to be alone, but it helped me so much. During the break I really self reflected. I evaluated myself and my toxic traits, and this led me to realizing that it’s okay to be alone sometimes.

Once I got back to school, I spent even more time in my room. I liked it. I could be myself and do the things I wanted to do. All of the things I thought required the company of other people really only required myself. After the break, I decided to tap into my creative side because I realized that I hadn’t done that in a while. I painted a lot more and journaled every day. I prioritized not only my school work and the things I needed to do, but also my mental health and loving myself. It was through all of this that I realized that in the end, you’re only going to have yourself. Sometimes you are going to have to be your own best friend, and that is okay. It’s okay to detach and take personal steps towards growing and developing as a person.

Through these past two months, I’ve not only learned how to be happy when I’m alone, but I’ve also learned how to balance my social life with my work life. I prioritize my work and put everything else second. For me, I’ve really fallen in love with working on things that I’m passionate about. It used to feel like my discipline work was a chore, but now I’m so eager to get the next assignment.

I’ve also stopped using sleep as an escape from my problems. I used to sleep in order to get away temporarily from my problems, which is not a good coping mechanism at all and could dig your hole even deeper than it already is. I found that staying up just a little longer to work a bit more on projects or to study for tests can show such a large improvement in your life. If anything, I definitely feel more prepared and less stressed.

These past two months have really helped me to calm my stress. I didn’t realize that most of my stress was coming from NOT being alone enough, not giving myself time to recollect myself and do the things I needed to do.

Anyways, that’s my spill on self love and doing what’s best for you. New chapters are good; I promise. Even the worst memories can turn into great ones if you change your perspective and find the lessons within them.

Author: Victoria Jerde

Victoria Jerde is a writer who enjoys long walks through forgotten mine fields, cutting her hair spontaneously, and reading books that make her cry for no reason. She likes to spend all her money on face masks that probably don't make a recognizable difference, and she is also the type of person to lose everything that she owns. Her favorite hobbies include waking up at two in the morning because she thought of something to write about, sewing clothes when she gets stressed out, and being a fake IG model because hey, why not?