Morning Memories

Morgan Love, being the gorgeous and quite hilarious person she is, said M very clearly when I asked Hannah to pick a letter. So I guess I’m just doing a small recollection of many stories in one post, and I think I’ll call it Morning Memories.

Okay, so firstly, when I was younger, I am told that I got my head stuck in a bed. I don’t know how or why, but I did. I was still living in The House On Santini Street and I was about a year old when it happened. But, I apparently had a colossal head as a child and it got stuck in a bed.

I have a memory, I have no clue if it’s a dream or real, where I am a very small toddler and I’m climbing onto this ugly green and blue couch. It was in the House On Santini Street.  My grandfather was still alive and he was sitting on said couch. Now, all I can really remember is trying to get onto the couch because he was eating the Lyons family delicacy: tomatoes with salt and pepper. I know, it sounds weird, but I’m being so serious. It genuinely S M A C K S. Don’t knock it ’til you try it. Anyways, so yeah. I remember being a little itty bitty baby tryna crawl up onto this horrendous couch with my paw-paw there. I’m pretty sure it’s real.

I’m sure, by now, that we are all familiar with the story about my cousin stabbing me while we were racing ( if you aren’t, my cousin stabbed me while we were racing). Well, get ready for this: one time, when we were younger, my cousin decided to literally harrass me by sitting on me while I was asleep on his couch…I woke up to him laughing about it. While I was asleep, he had found a way to place a couch cushion over my entire body, including my face, and then climb into it until I awoke. When I finally came to, I couldn’t breathe. He had been farting on me for the past 15 minutes. That night, my mom said I couldn’t spend the night over there anymore.

And, as my last story to end this episode of Morning Memories, I shall tell the story of how I came to decide that I am probably the dumbest person alive. So, as per usual, I was with my cousins and we were doing stupid, childish things. We were outside and, in their front yard, they have an orange tree. Well, this particular weekend, there were oranges on the ground, molding and decomposing. They were d i s g u s t i n g. And yet, I somehow allowed my cousin, who is as smart as I am dumb. He dared me to eat one of the oranges off the ground. There was no prize for doing. There was no ultimatum. There was nothing. Just pure curiosity. And, as I went to pick up the orange, my oldest cousin got home. We dispersed whenever he got home, I have no clue why. We were just…intimidated by him. I don’t even know why, he’s literally a dope person.

ANYWAYS, yeah. That’s it. There’s your collection of me being a stupid child to hold you over until next week. Goodbye.

Author: Azya Lyons

“have i gone mad? im afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usualy are.” -Lewis Carrol, Alice in Wonderland aw skeet skeet

2 thoughts on “Morning Memories”

  1. These stories were so fun to read which is very important to include in blog posts I feel like because everything needs some uplifting. I’m sorry you had such a traumatizing childhood experience that left such sad memories. I’m so proud of how fun you’ve come in life despite all the horrifying trials you made it through. I can look at you now and not see your challenges that you faced, but the progress that you’ve made. thanks for sharing!

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