Sometimes I think about all the things in my life that led me to this point in my life. All the people that I’ve grown up with, helped me become the person that I am today. When I do that, I always feel like I’m giving in to some sort of invisible force that wants to hold me back from moving forward. “You’re forgetting everyone, you just want to go on with your life.” And in a way, that voice is right.
Sometimes, however, when I do that, I end up thinking about all the people I know that aren’t here anymore. They’ve left this world. And that just makes me feel more saddened. Yes, I loved them, but I feel like sometimes, I should just… never forget who they are, no matter where I am. And that has led to a lot of problems with me making progress in the most mediocre of things.
I just want to move on. I just want to go on with my life and live happilly and healthily. But I just can’t seem to do that.
My own mind is like a sandpit; the more progress I make out of it, the higher the chance is that I will inevitably fall again, back to square one. So many times, I have tried my best to go on with my life, to live in my own way, to just tell my brain to leave me alone for just a minute so I can live my best life. But I just can’t seem to do that.
I just want to be able to live to my fullest potential, but as long as these hands have hold on my mind and my spirit, I will never be able to go forward.
I want to be free.
here for you, kai.
I relate to this is so many ways . Letting go is hard, especially when you subconsciously don’t want to let go.
I’m with you, remembering is so painful, but so is forgetting.
I relate to this. The death of those I love truly holds me back when all I wish is to move forward.