Author: Emma Stapp

howdy, and welcome to the scrap blog! i didn’t have much inspiration for new content this week, but i did have an idea i thought was neat–sharing an unfinished piece of work. a scrap. the scrap i’m including here is something i started writing during the holiday season and abruptly stopped for reasons i honestly don’t remember. it isn’t a piece that i’m particularly proud of, but it is special to me because of where i was in life when i wrote it. keep in mind that it will end pretty abruptly, as i stopped writing it abruptly. without further introduction, this is “grief counseling”!

The lights from the tree were uncomfortably bright to George’s eyes, and he turned away to avoid them, instead observing his unfamiliar surroundings. Beige walls covered in posters with positive affirmations, a circle of seats occupied by equally average individuals, and a pot of coffee growing cold on a fold-out card table that held stale donuts. Just as he thought he was going to fall asleep from the boredom, the man in the center of the circle spoke up.

“Hello, everyone! We’re glad to have you all here. I understand that the holiday season can be a very difficult time for people, and I would like you all to know that I’m proud of you for seeking help and community. I see that we have a new face here in our friendly circle! What is your name, sir?” he asked, his eyes locking with George’s for an awkward length of time.

“Um… George. George Silva.”

“Hello, George!” the group said in eerie unison.

“Hello,” he replied, somewhat put off by the display.

“It’s very nice to meet you, George. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and why you’re here?”

“All right,” he replied hesitantly. “I’m a history teacher. I’m from Memphis. I’m here because… well, I’m here because of my daughter.”

“When did she pass?” the man in the middle asked, and George saw that his name tag read “Paul”.

“Oh, she didn’t. Lizzy’s fine. I’m here because she forced me to come. I don’t normally do this kind of thing.”

“What exactly do you mean by ‘this kind of thing’?” Paul asked.

“Well, you know… things where a bunch of folks gather around and talk about feelings. It’s not something I’d normally do.”

“And that’s perfectly fine. Many people are apprehensive about group counseling, but I can assure you that if you give it a chance, you can see real benefits. Now, would you mind telling us why you’re daughter insisted on you seeking help?”

“My wife. She… passed away this summer.”

“I’m very sorry to hear that. How did she pass, if you’re comfortable telling us?”

“Car accident. It was very sudden. I guess my daughter figures I’m having a tough time with it.”

“Are you?”

“Well, sure. Of course I am. My wife’s car burst into flames on a random Tuesday- I’d think that would be enough to leave anybody broken up,” he said in a harsh tone.

“I’d say so. I’m very sorry. I’d also like for you to know that your aggression about the subject is perfectly normal and healthy. It makes you one step closer to working through your feelings. Tell me, how do you feel about the approaching holiday? I know that the first one without the loved one is often extremely difficult.”

well… there she is. i might pick up on this piece again, and i might not. but i have a deep connection to the characters in this scrap, so it’ll always hold a special place in my heart <3

i’m stressed. it’s no secret- you can see it in the bags under my eyes, the extra pounds on my hips, and the playlist that gets repeated at least 12 times a day. i’m stressed; but shockingly, i’m not here to simply complain about it. i want to take the opportunity during this nightmarish time to think of the little things i do throughout the day to help me cope.

1. pray. talking to God throughout the day is one of the only things that keeps me sane at this moment in time.
2. music. listening to it, playing guitar, singing, reciting song lyrics in my head, whatever it may be. music keeps me grounded and gives me a unique, much-needed peace.
3. tv. rewatching my favorite shows has long been one of my most helpful coping mechanisms, and i’ve recently started some new shows that i like a lot and help me get through the day. (cough, oitnb and bates motel, cough)
4. movies. it’s pretty sad that media makes up like 80% of this list, but ultimately, i want to be truthful. and the truth is, movies help me with my anxiety and stress. always have. and there is certainly no exception to that rule during this… troubling time.
5. family. talking to my family is one of the most important things i can do, especially when i’m not doing super well. they mean everything, and they’re always there to remind me that the world is bigger than the deadlines i’m quickly approaching and the science teacher who’s out to get me.

anyway,  these are just some things that are keeping me afloat right now. here’s to getting my assignments and laundry done and going home this weekend. ’til next week!

please, enjoy this random picture of kyle maclachlan that pretty much represents my mental state 🙂

hey, blog! this is i’ve been planning to post but haven’t quite gotten around to, so this is it on a smaller scale. over the holiday break, i embarked on a journey of watching films directed by women and found many new favorites. i originally wanted to make a post about the best movies from female directors, but i ultimately decided on something a little different- i’ll be listing (no particular order, blahblahblah) three films that molded my feminism. before i start my list, i want to note that i’m not saying that these movies are perfect or that i agree with all their sentiments- this is simply a personal tally of films that impacted my view on feminist issues, both positively and negatively. if there are films on this list that seem out of place, that’s entirely natural. both feminism and enjoyment of media are subjective. however, if any of these sound interesting, i highly recommend them all! (no spoilers<3)

the accused

this is a movie that i found by accident. i was scrolling through hulu, looking for something to watch, when i stumbled across this absolute gem of a film. not gonna lie, i saw that it starred jodie foster and clicked without hesitation (who can resist that twang!). i wasn’t sure what to expect from the movie, but i was both pleasantly and unpleasantly surprised. the film is the true story of a woman who was raped at a bar, while patrons did nothing to help her. jodie foster is positively electric in her role as the main character- every award she earned a well-deserved one. kelly mcgillis also does brilliant work in her supporting role as jodie’s lawyer. without spoiling any major points of the film, i’ll just have to say that it moved me in a way no other film ever has. (in other words, i cried like a colicky baby on a visit with santa claus.) this film is raw, gritty, and utterly stunning.

monster

monster is one of the films i saw over the break to prepare for this series, and it’s also the one that inspired me to create it. the film chronicles the story of serial killer aileen wuornos (whose case i won’t be delving into here, but check it out if you’re into true crime!) it stars charlize theron in the absolute highlight of her career, completely transformed into a tragic figure of revenge and society’s failures. cristina ricci costars as the theron’s girlfriend and human credential as they go on the run together. a romeo and juliet story turned disgustingly bitter. this is one of the most tragic movies i’ve ever seen and leads to so many moral questions. for me, the main one is: did she even do anything wrong?

little women

this is quite a sharp turn from the other choices on this list but with good reason. little women, particularly the greta gerwig version, basically changed my life. melodramatic? yes. also true? yes. i saw this film in the theatre during an extremely difficult time in my life when i needed its message more than ever. i was in the middle of losing a family member, and i was completely consumed with sadness over what was to come. but when i walked into that theatre and watched this movie about family, grief, and the strength we carry as women helped me in ways i can’t describe. this movie holds such a special place in my heart. i love most all adaptations of this book (looking at you, winona ryder and susan surandon!). however, this one is extra special to me because of the obvious feminine influence from greta gerwig and the fact that it features some of my favorite actors of all time.

greetings, blog world! as of the moment i’m writing this, it’s february 1st, 2022… harold styles’ 28th birthday! i couldn’t resist writing a quick rant about what makes him one of my favorite people.

picture it- 2011, a young girl sits at a family computer, smiling goofily at the five guys on the scratched screen, singing whatever idiotic lyrics have been served up to them on a silver platter. now, in case you didn’t pick up on that extremely obscure symbolism- the girl is me, and the band is none other than one direction. i loved them so much as a kid, despite rarely actually listening to their music. there was just something about them that was so electric and sweet, and i’m certainly not the only 2010s kid who can tell you all about the effect they had/have on us. now, personally, i was always a louis gal, and seeing them in las vegas when i was 9 certainly confirmed it. (he smiled at me. we made eye contact. i swear!) 

however, as i got older, i graduated to different interests and looked back on that time with a twinge of embarrassment, as i’m not really used to having conventional interests for people my age, and it seemed like a fluke. i still loved some of their older songs for nostalgic reasons, but i didn’t really think too much about the brits anymore. then, harry released his solo album, and the rest is history. tattoos, rock influence, live performances (his is one of the best concerts i’ve ever been to) and ugly sweaters drew me in like a siren, and suddenly i’m dedicating a birthday post to some british guy who will never know i’m even alive. but, honestly, i think that’s okay. it’s been a stressful few weeks… well, it’s been a stressful few years. and harry has helped me along the way, whether he knows it or not, so i’m thankful for him.

my friends from home and i absolutely love harry and share a bond over him and his music. sometimes, i find myself a little embarrassed to have such a common interest, simply because i’m not used to that. however, i’m steadily realizing that i’m allowed to openly enjoy things! giving myself the freedom to simply say, “yeah, i like twilight and harry styles and lots of other things you might think are dumb. but they comfort me, and they aren’t hurting anyone, so i shouldn’t have to feel judged for it,” is genuinely changing my life for the better.

anyway… now that i’ve said my piece about how the term “basic” should be eliminated from our pop culture vocabulary (more on that later, dear reader), i’d like to close this out by saying thank you. thank you, reader, for taking the time to skim these silly words. thank you, blog world, for giving me a place to put them. and thank you, mr. styles, for being one of the coolest, goofiest, best-looking british fellows around. happy birthday, harold!

hey, blog. i’m feeling a little out of my element this week, and i honestly haven’t had any inspiration for a topic for this week’s post. i decided i would do something weird and unnecessary, as always. in this blog, i will be stating some of my opinions with absolutely no context whatsoever. just throwing them out there. nothing problematic or inappropriate,  just hills that i’ll die on, whether silly, controversial, or just entirely outrageous. red flags abound.

#1 garlic is disgusting

#2 jonathan byers from stranger things deserves better

#3 monica lewinsky is an underappreciated feminist icon and an overall genius

#4 paul westerburg is one of the best, most overlooked rockstars

#5 laura flynn boyle ruined “twin peaks” (side note: audrey and cooper should have ended up together. you just couldn’t let us be happy, could ya, lfb?)

#6 cheer is the most difficult sport

#7 rose is a better character than jack in “titanic”

#8 bill and beverly should have ended up together in “it”

#9 linda ronstadt’s cover of ‘desperado’ is better than the original

#10 esme is the best cullen woman

to finish off this train wreck, here’s a picture of paul westerburg. ’til next week 🙂

hello, blog world! this is a special post for me because… well… it’s for me. i’ve been dying to write about twin peaks, as it’s one of my favorite shows of all time. i’ve been utterly obsessed with it for years now but hesitant to talk or write about it much because i don’t know any other fans of the show, or as i would say “peakies” (nerdy, right? exactly.) however, all that said, i decided that this week i would cover a rather simple and surface-level aspect of the show to spare my readers from a long, obsessive rant about why i love this show so much. for this post, i will be simply listing what i consider to be the best acting performances of the show. oh, and you know the drill- no particular order.

ray wise as leland palmer

leland palmer is an extremely difficult character to play- possessed, grief-stricken, and still chillingly humorous and clever. no actor could have captured this character in  quite the way that ray wise did. wise plays him with this undertone of fear and rage that captures the character’s mental state perfectly. the juxtaposition between his portrayal of a tortured father and a violent entity makes him one of my frontrunners for best actors in a show that is teeming with acting talent. every time i see ray wise in another show or movie, i automatically think “leland!” and get the chills- that’s how you know this guy’s the real deal.

sherilyn fenn as audrey horne

okay, don’t even get me started on audrey horne. she is one of my comfort characters, and i love her endlessly. i sometimes feel closer to her than to the people in my own life. is that pathetic? absolutely!! but you know what- it’s the truth. and it’s a testament to the immense writing talent of mark frost and david lynch and to the amazing acting of miss sherilyn fenn. fenn is a force to be reckoned with as audrey horne, with all the charm of an old hollywood bombshell and the clever mist of a femme fatale. i believe that no other actress could have brought this beautiful character to life as well as fenn, who i think is one of the most beautiful and talented actresses of the past half-century.

miguel ferrer as albert rosenfield

albert is a fan-favorite character and certainly one of my all-time favorites. he provides an appropriate but still effective amount of comic relief to a show about dark forces, murder, and mystery. every time he appears on the screen, peakies can be found wearing the dorkiest smile imaginable. a huge part of what makes albert so iconic and loved is miguel ferrer’s unmatchable acting performance. he captures the spirit of the character so accurately and artfully with his monotone dry humor and sense of humility.

grace zabriskie as sarah palmer

now, here’s where it gets a tad controversial. people don’t often regard zabriskie as one of the better actors in the show’s cast, simply because her character is often put aside as a “hysterical mother” stereotype. personally, i’ve always had a great deal of appreciation for sarah palmer, as well as grace zabriskie’s portrayal of her. she captures grief in a realistic, if dramatic, way that fits perfectly into the lynchian narrative and tone of the show. i believe that she took the material she was given as an actress and brought the character to an entirely different level. she is particularly striking in season 3. she does such an incredible job showcasing a grieving woman 25 years after her loss, stuck in time and space. also, the general casting of the palmer family is utterly brilliant to me, as i think that the actors who play the parents genuinely look like the daughter.

kyle maclachlan as dale cooper

cooper is another character that i’m extremely attached to. i could talk about him for hours, so to spare everyone from that, i’ll stick to praising kyle maclachlan for a moment. i truly believe that kyle is one of the most underappreciated and talented actors out there. he has been in many famous roles that people don’t often recognize him for, but my personal favorite will always be his role as special agent dale cooper. cooper is a unique, brilliant character, and it’s only fitting that an actor of the same merits should play him. kyle is easily one of my favorite actors ever because he takes every character he plays and makes him into a person. anyone who loves twin peaks will tell you that dale cooper is just as real to them as the air they breathe, and we have kyle to thank for that.

hello, and welcome back to my blog! over the holiday break, i was able to prepare several ideas for some new content that i’m really excited to start writing! this week, though, inspiration struck me to write a shorter blog about a show that i recently fell in love with- yellowjackets. it’s a new psychological  drama on SHOWTIME, and i think it’s one of the best new series in recent history. wo, without further ado, here are three reasons you should check it out!

#1 the cast

readers, i’ve got two words for you: juliette. lewis. she is completely electric in her role and truly stands out in a crowd of unbelievable talent. the show has a cast of young women and their older versions, who are extremely good matches for each other. christina ricci is also wickedly brilliant in her role as misty, one of the most well-written characters on the show.

#2 the writing

yellowjackets has a highly unique storyline and characters that you can connect to immediately. the premise of the show is a female high school soccer team in the 90s who gets into a plane crash and has to learn to survive. the show tells the story of their survival in the wilderness and their lives 25 years after being rescued. it has many different ways of storytelling that are each effective and gripping. the show breaches the genres of psychological horror, teen drama, survival adventure, and even has its perfectly timed darkly comedic moments.

#3 the music

from the moment i started watching the show, i was immediately drawn in by the soundtrack. they utilize some of the best artists of the 90s, while also featuring more recent music that has a fell that fits the show perfectly. when i watch something and look up the soundtrack on spotify directly after, that’s always a good sign.

below i listed some of my favorite songs from the soundtrack, and with that, i’m off! ’til next week, blog world.

yellowjackets mini playlist:

miss world- hole

uninvited- alanis morissette

the world i know- collective soul

gepetto- belly

dreams- the cranberries

hello! i’m back this week with another list of my favorite things, this time featuring a genre of media i have recently fallen in love with- adult animation! growing up with older cousins, it seemed as though family guy was constantly playing in the background of my childhood, only to be occasionally interrupted by the odd south park episode. as a kid, i always dismissed the genre, thinking it was mostly dumb and, well… kinda creepy. as far as i knew, cartoons were for kids, and the idea of making them with mature content seemed pointless and weird, and i always just kind of made fun of the shows. however, through my interest in pop culture history, i learned that the first cartoons were actually made with an older audience in mind. characters such as mickey mouse and betty boop were originally written to entertain adults in a new way with the development of animation as a new art form. as time moved on, the media was passed on to children, but there were a few creators who decided to stay true to animation’s origins and create cartoons for adults, and i have learned over time to appreciate the genre greatly. these are my top three favorites (as always) in no particular order!

bojack horseman

i had always heard about this show and its strange, depressing content. i never really had much of a desire to watch it, until one day, i randomly decided to press play when i was particularly bored. it was one of the best decisions i ever made. this show really surprised me with its brilliance. i genuinely am in awe of this shows ability to make the viewer feel such a broad span of emotions under the guise of silly animals and bright color schemes. bojack is so interesting because of its raw, piercingly accurate view on mental illness, addiction, and family dysfunction. while it deals with extremely dark topics super well, it’s also one of the funniest shows i have ever seen. the humor is dark and unique- the kind of jokes that you can’t stop laughing about, even when you think of it days later. i never thought that a cartoon about a horse would hold such a special place in my heart, but there’s something so incredibly special about this series. i feel so deeply for these characters, who are so well-written that i could honestly do an entire post about them alone.

daria

this show is the absolute epitome of teen angst and cynicism- which is what made me hesitant to watch it the first time. i feel like in the last several decades, there has just been so many stories about a too-smart-for-her-own-good teenage girl who learns to appreciate the world around her, and while i do appreciate many of those stories, i honestly assumed that this show would just be a cheap jab at young people’s pessimism. however, i did decide to watch it mainly because of its mtv origins and its 90s style, and i couldn’t be happier that i did. this show has sharp, quick humor that really appealed to me, making it not only one of my favorite cartoons but one of my favorite comedy series of all time. i relate so much to the characters on this show, and i always saw pieces of myself in them and their experiences. if you’ve never seen this show and you appreciate 90s and early 00s culture, or just want to watch a genuinely brilliant piece of animated media, i strongly encourage you to check this show out! (p.s. the theme song of this show- 10/10!!)

the simpsons

honestly, there isn’t much to be said about this show that it’s legacy can’t already speak for. it’s been on the air for decades and has imbedded itself in american pop culture in a hugely influential way. the characters are household names, and the animation style is often replicated and is widely recognized. this is another one that i grew up watching, and turning it on always brings me comfort and nostalgia. the show never fails to make me laugh with its ridiculous gags and goofy but lovable and relatable characters. this is a show that really means a lot to me, and i’m glad i was able to geek for a bit.

hello! as you can tell from my super clever and not at all cheesy and overdone title, i will be discussing the ups and downs (mostly downs) of my nanowrimo experience. for those of you who aren’t sure what that means (count yourself as lucky, please) nanowrimo stands for ‘national novel writing month’, which takes place throughout november.

upon hearing about nanowrimo, i knew it wouldn’t be super easy for me, but i also didn’t worry too much about it because hey, it’s the beginning of school, november is sooooo far away, right? wrong!! so, so very wrong. i genuinely think that if i had prepared myself better and started brainstorming immediately, i could have had a lot of fun with it, but november hit, and i found that my brain was utterly and absolutely empty. vacant. there were cobwebs.

i eventually got an idea that i thought i could possibly go with. i built this idea solely because i created two characters that i genuinely love and believe in. i was really stumped on what story i wanted to tell, and i scrapped several different plots before i realized that it doesn’t work that way for me because that isn’t how i myself read and consume other media. when i read/watch something, it isn’t normally the plot that interests me- it’s the characters. that’s when i decided that creating characters that i love would provide me with the opportunity to build a world around them that i could grow to love also.

the characters that i created and their dynamic is one that reflects the type of things i like to read. two childhood friends who both want to be more, but something is getting in the way. a loner who has experienced a tragic loss and his only friend in the world, learning to navigate life and love in their teen years.

has it been done before? certainly. will it continue to be done until the end of time? most likely. but since i was embarking on the already heavy task of writing a novel in a single month, i decided to write something that i never have before- a romance. when i thought about the kind of stories that i love, my mind immediately went to the couples in those stories. i’m a self-admitted hopeless romantic, but i’ve never personally explored the genre for fear of being…being… too sappy, i guess. the things that i typically write about are rather dark or solemn, and the idea of writing a conventional love story was somewhat foreign and intimidating. but i went with it, and i can’t say that i regret it.

so, emma, why have you written this blog about your own struggles with an assignment? no one wants to hear about it.

well, maybe not, but i want to talk about it anyway. although the experience wasn’t seamless for me, i’m genuinely grateful to be in an environment where my teacher believes in me enough to say, “write a novel in a month. i know you can do it.” because i certainly didn’t believe that i could. i got out of my comfort zone of unsettling short stories and wrote thousands of words about deep friendship and unrequited love, which wasn’t a breeze for me. it took a lot of brainstorming, playlist making, and favorite-tv-show-rewatching, but i did it, and i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t kinda proud. a rare experience for me indeed.

’til next week, enjoy the mini playlist i created for my novel (if you dare) 🙂

novel mini playlist

near you always- jewel

some things last a long time- daniel johnston

iris- the goo goo dolls

american pie- don mclean

wouldn’t it be nice- the beach boys

hi there! this week, i’ll be talking about the queen of tejano and one of my favorite artists of all time, selena quintanilla-perez! i absolutely adore all of her music, but for this blog, i’ll be listing my five favorite selena songs (in no particular order as usual). she is such an iconic singer, songwriter, and performer, and i highly encourage you to give her music a listen! selena has songs in both english and spanish, but her music speaks to the heart, regardless of the language it’s written in! so, without further ado, these are five of my favorite selena songs! 

no me queda mas

this is the song that made me fall madly in love with selena’s music. it has gorgeous lyrics that speak of unrequited love and loss, and it speaks to the listener so beautifully. even when i hadn’t read a translation of the lyrics, i could just feel the emotion and power in selena’s voice, and that was enough to make me see what an incredible artist she was, not only as a vocalist but as a performer. the song has a sense of both vulnerability and strength, melancholy and contentment. it’s a gorgeous ballad of a love that was never meant to be.

amor prohibido

amor prohibido is just one of those songs that makes me smile when i hear its opening beat. the lyrics speak of forbidden love, but selena’s soulful and playful voice makes it a fun song to listen to. it’s essentially a romeo and juliet story with a hopeful tone and ending, saying that it doesn’t matter what the world around them may think, these two people love each other, and that’s all that counts. i think selena is the perfect woman to tell this story, as she had a similar romance with her husband.

baila esta cumbia

baila esta cumbia!! this is a song that just lights up a room when it comes on. i remember singing and dancing in the car to it on summer nights with friends, singing it at karaoke, and learning to play a simplified version of it on the guitar. even i (a person who simply isn’t capable of dancing) cannot help but move when this song’s rhythm plays out and selena’s powerful voice fills the air. this song absolutely never fails to boost my serotonin levels and make me nostalgic for summer.

si una vez

this is one of the song’s where selena’s rasp and vulnerability is showcased beautifully. it feels mysterious and foreboding, while also having a fun, quirky rhythm that allows for a unique musical experience. it’s truly one of those songs you just can’t help but sing along to dramatically with a hairbrush. (is that just me? maybe, but oh well!)

well, blog world, no me queda mas for this week. ’til next time, enjoy this photo of the beautiful queen of tejano music enjoying a coca cola <3