Author: Emma Stapp

for the last time ever…hello, blog. bittersweet, i know. attempting to not be overly sentimental in this post, i’ve decided to stick with my tradition of writing about media. in honor of this chapter of my life coming to a close, i’ve decided to write about some of my favorite endings in tv shows and movies. spoilers included and in no particular order.

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

i love that the ending of this movie is so ambiguous. to me, it’s a happy ending, but i’ve heard many say that it’s sad. ultimately, after their relationship is put through the wringer several times, joel and clementine decide to give it another try. i like the ending because it leaves us with the possibility of the two of them ending up together. personally, i think their love will definitely withstand the test of time. if you ask me, they’re together to this day, in an apartment full of potato people and at least one really creative kid.

wild things

this movie has several of the craziest plot twists of anything i’ve ever seen. there are twists and turns at every single corner. my favorite, though, has got to be the very end. just when we think the two sleezy guys have gotten away with it, suzy comes out of nowhere and reclaims the victory. wild things is a story of total corruption and scandal, and it’s hard to say who the good guys and bad guys are. however, i just can’t see an ending with neve campbell riding off into the sunset on a sailboat and not think that it’s perfectly fair and just.

scream 3

the original scream trilogy will always be my favorites of the franchise. it might be somewhat sappy, but i just love a happy ending, and i love that this was actually meant to be the closing of the franchise as a whole. as much as i’m grateful for the next three movies, i just adore the idea of things closing at the end of this one. the movie also features roman, who is the absolute best ghostface in the franchise in my (correct) opinion. it ends with dewey and gale (the best couple in the franchise) safe and happy, getting engaged. sidney is settled into a beautiful home with the perfect guy (played by patrick dempsey. it doesn’t get much better than that!). the only things that could make it better, for me, would be to have jennifer jolie survive and gale get rid of her horrifying bangs.

piggy

i just watched this movie for the first time, and, wow. the future for the horror genre is so bright, and i love to see it. i expected it to just be a typical revenge story, but it exceeded my expectations in every way. the twist at the end where she doesn’t actually harm the girls but frees them instead is just perfect. i was physically shocked by all the turns. i love the way she defended herself against the villain and how well it fit into the symbolism and tone that had been set up. she could’ve chosen to get revenge, but she chose peace and forgiveness, and what strength of character that took after the way she was treated to the very end. i especially love the twist on the whole “getting the guy” trope when she leaves with pedro (my personal favorite character. such a sweet person.)

titanic

i simply have to include this one because upon a rewatch, i noticed something i had never seen before. i’ve seen this movie more times than my paternal grandfather, and i thought i pretty much knew everything about it, but i was wrong. i went and watched it for the first time in years at the anniversary re-showing in theatres back in february. i noticed, for the first time ever, that the old lady dies at the end. i never knew that! genuinely thought she just fell asleep. i watched it with a friend who had never seen it before, and they pointed it out, saying how sad and sweet it was that she died close to jack, right above the water where she lost him. it hit me like a freight train. what gorgeous writing. it’s like she grew so old and just refused to leave until she was warm in bed with him right there, just like they said. i also love the pictures in her room of her doing all those amazing things and traveling the world. rose is one of my favorite fictional characters, and it’s amazing to know that she lived a beautiful life.

mulholland dr.

i just watched this movie for the first time the other day, and there aren’t even words for how i feel about it. i’m actually revisiting this post just to add it to the list. i’ve loved david lynch since i was a preteen and have always wanted to watch this movie but never got around to it. best decision ever. i loved every moment, but the way the ending ties everything together is just beyond anything i’ve ever seen. talk about elevating a trope. generally, i think it-was-all-a-dream is played out and lazy, but this does it masterfully and spins it on its head (i’d expect nothing less from david). betty/diana is such a well-written character that i still feel bad for her losing rita/camila, even if it was of her own doing. i immediately had to watch and read analyses of this movie, and if that’s not a sign that it’s something special, i don’t know what is.

so, for the very last time…goodbye, blog. special thanks to clinnesha sibley and dr. alexis for getting me into blogging and to my classmates for inspiring me with their work. so long!

hey, blog. this is a flash memoir that i wrote on a whim, and i decided to use it as my blog for the month. warning–it is melodramatic and somewhat boring. i should be back to the regularly scheduled programming next month.

dear writing,

i’m sick of you. you’ve sucked the life out of me for years now. i’ve devoted everything to you without even realizing it. become a hollow shell of a human for the sake of you; and you don’t even care. why would you? you’re not real. you’re not my friend, not my confidante, and certainly not my therapist. just typing words right now makes me physically sick. i don’t know when that started, and i don’t care enough to figure it out.

my aunt asked me a few weeks ago what i planned to do with my writing after graduation, and i told her nothing. absolutely nothing. no novel, no poetry book, no play. nothing. the furthest my writing will go is what i’m doing right now–just scratching down how i feel. i’ll never submit anything again, never participate in an open mic, never share my writing. i don’t want to. i don’t need to.

she was disturbed. she said it would be a shame. we dropped the subject. a few days later, we were at a gathering with basically my whole family. while we were all sitting at the table, she made me say it in front of everyone. how sick i am of you. how apathetic and numb. they thought it strange. i smiled. writing is great–freedom is better.

i’ll always be a writer, really. just not one who writes. i’ll always have a mind full of ideas and visions and i’ll always record some of them. maybe eventually i’ll decide to make something of them. but writing in the traditional sense or with the goal of success just isn’t right for me. never was. i still love words and stories and creating characters–i just never want to sell myself out again.

so, i say goodbye to writing. not to words or my love for them. just to a rigid practice that has become too much for me. i say goodbye to deadlines and wordcounts and journals and submissions.

i say hello to a new way of being a literary artist. to healthy habits. to building my own worlds. to learning new tricks. to my own way.

hello and welcome! for this blog, i’ll be discussing different characters that represent obsessive compulsive disorder in media. first of all, i’d like to note that these aren’t all of the characters who have it–i’ll only be talking about the ones who i’ve personally seen on screen and know about.

(Content Warning: Mental Illness, Suicide)

monica geller from friends

this is a show that i grew up watching, and monica was always my favorite character because i thought she was strong, smart, and funny in her own way. then, when i grew up, i found that a lot of people didn’t feel the same at all. they found her uptight, obnoxious, and controlling. they would say: i can’t stand monica–she’s so ocd. that was probably the first time i ever heard ocd used as an adjective and in a derogatory way. two birds with one stone, right?

now, let’s dissect how effective she is as a representative of the disorder. while it is positive that monica’s character was able to stir up conversation and build awareness, there’s no denying the negative impact it had. because the form her disorder took mostly revolved around cleanliness and order, people often took that at face value and assumed that was all there is to ocd. that couldn’t be further from the truth. it’s a diverse spectrum of symptoms and coping mechanisms that simply couldn’t be encompassed by a 90s sitcom; and the sad part is, that’s about as mainstream as it gets, so that’s what frames the narrative of how people view the disorder.

daisy randone from girl, interrupted

Girl, Interrupted is one of the most life-changing pieces of media i’ve ever consumed, both the book and the film. it presents mental illness in a jarringly accurate way, particularly with the character of daisy. her diagnosis in the book and film is ocd, and that’s about the only reason you recognize that she has it. that may sound like a negative thing as far as representation goes, but i’d argue that it’s extremely smart and well-done. 

i think that daisy is an excellent example of how ocd can manifest when mixed with other mental illnesses, which it commonly does. daisy also suffers from addiction, eating disorders, and severe depression. she doesn’t wash her hands often, keep everything tidy, or have everything in perfect order. she’s just a smart, pretty, antisocial young woman who happens to suffer from the disorder. ocd often stems from trauma or extreme stress, both of which daisy suffers from, and it ultimately leads to her taking her own life. i consider her to be strong, accurate representation, even though she meets a tragic end.

Bob wiley from “what about bob?”

i absolutely despise this movie. it was one of my mom’s favorites, and we used to watch it together when i was little. i just never liked it. in the film, the main character, bob, is trying to overcome crippling ocd and becomes obsessed with his therapist, eventually going on vacation with his family. the movie is a kind of buddy comedy, starring bill murray. the main reason i never liked it is because it simply isn’t funny. that, however, doesn’t mean that the character is bad.

i do honestly think there is some merit to the movie’s portrayal of ocd. murray’s character shows diverse symptoms, such as doing things in particular orders, repeating mantras, and obsessing over thoughts, or rumination. i appreciate that the writers seem to have put in at least a bit of research rather than just making him super clean or something. the problem, though, is that bob’s disorder is played for laughs more than anything, or to infantilize him. it sort of feeds into the narrative of the disorder just consisting of “little quirks”.

emma pillsbury from glee

i grew up with this show and am ashamed (kinda) to say that it holds a special place in my heart and always will. one of my favorite side characters, emma, is known to suffer from ocd. it’s talked about frequently throughout the show, sometimes as a punchline, and sometimes as a serious issue.

what i love about emma is that she made me feel so seen as a kid, when i saw her doing things like wearing gloves to eat or wiping down her grapes. these were things that i did, and seeing a grown-up do them on tv made me feel like maybe i wasn’t so weird after all. while the show is infamous for dealing with serious issues poorly, i think ocd is an exception. yes, people occasionally poke fun at emma, but no character is safe on this show. i love that other characters who care for her push her to seek treatment and are patient with her. those who want to be an ally to people with ocd, or any mental disorder, really, could take notes from how john stamos’s character treats her in particular.

well, that’s all i’ve got for this post. if you stuck around until the end, thank you, and see you next time!

hello, blog, and hello, 2023! this month’s blog is something kind of silly, but inspiration struck me for it, and i knew it’d be fun to write! i’m going to be discussing the latest horror sensation, m3gan, and what other villains i think she could defeat. 

yesterday, i watched m3gan for the first time in a theatre, and it was one of the best movie experiences i’ve had in a while. i won’t spoil anything here, but i’ll say that even though it was undeniably unsettling and creepy, i haven’t laughed as hard as i did watching that in a long, long time. i mean, you know a movie is good if your friend has to get up and leave the room because they’re laughing so hard.

despite the comedic moments, at the end of the day, m3gan is no doubt a stone-cold killer. she’s extremely durable and strong and is equipped with limitless intelligence. this led me to think about what makes a horror villain truly effective like she is. eventually, the formula for this blog came together–i thought of my favorite horror villains and chose to decide if i think they could defeat her in a hypothetical fight! of course, this is in no particular order.

michael myers from halloween

one of my favorite horror movies is halloween, and there’s no denying that michael myers is one of the coolest, most dangerous villains ever. he’s very large and incredibly strong. once you’re in his grasp, there’s really no chance of survival. he’s essentially a killing machine with no compassion. so, why do i think that a 4 foot robot doll could take him down?

one word–intelligence. admittedly, if michael surprise-attacked m3gan, he could likely give her a run for her money, but the likelihood of that happening is really slim. because of her artificial intelligence, nothing really gets past her. she could even use her short stature to her own advantage and knock michael down. once she does that, it’s over for him. those robotic hands can move like lightning–and if she has a weapon, michael stands no chance at all.

turns out, what haddonfield police really needed to take down michael myers was a children’s toy.

m3gan’s chance of success: 8/10

pennywise from it

this classic horror clown has terrified readers and audiences for years with his creepy looks and affinity for violence. he mainly targets the kids of derry, which makes it easy for him to overpower his victims. in this case, however, that’s exactly what would lead to his demise.

m3gan dolls are designed to be a friend and protector for whatever child they belong to, and they have been known to take out anyone who harms that child. so, if pennywise ever decided to set his sights on a kid with a m3gan doll…his career and life would be swiftly ended, i believe.

in this case, i think the main weapon m3gan would be able to use wouldn’t necessarily be her physical strength or intelligence. i think she’d rely more on her ability to communicate and her lack of fear.

as the losers club learns later in life, pennywise’s most primal need is fear, and his most vulnerable weakness is ridicule. the less you fear him, and the more you mock him, the less power he has, until he eventually crumbles. m3gan is gifted with the ability to absolutely verbally drag people that she doesn’t like. give her five minutes alone with pennywise, and he’ll be nothing more than a puddle of watery clown makeup.

m3gan’s chance of success: 9/10

annie wilkes from misery

my favorite stephen king novel, and one of my favorite movies of his! i think that annie is a brilliantly written villain, and she’s horrifying in her own special way. however, much of her evil doings do depend on the vulnerability of her victims. as a nurse, she had access to sick and injured patients, and with paul sheldon, he was bedridden. if she had an active…lively opponent like m3gan, i think she’d be easily defeated.

honestly, i could see annie having a m3gan doll purely for her own entertainment. she’s a lonely person, and i think having someone to always listen and obey her orders would be right up her alley. if anything ever went sideways, though, getting rid of annie would be child’s play for m3gan. (yes, i did that on purpose.)

she could pretty much just use her physical strength and durability to fight annie. i doubt annie would be able to do much damage to m3gan or defend herself well.

m3gan’s chance of success: 10/10

norman bates from psycho

there is absolutely no doubt whatsoever in my mind that miss m3gan could obliterate norman bates in any context. now, norman is definitely creepy, and i’d never want to meet him in a dark alley; but i definitely don’t consider him to be a particularly brilliant or effective villain in the practical sense. he did some horrible things, but he is just so very vulnerable and weak. his ego hangs by a string on the verge of tearing, and his track record with women is so dismal that it causes him to resent them to the point of dreadful awkwardness.

m3gan could do no more than make one of her passive aggressive comments, and he’d probably perish on the spot. however, all the rest of her attributes would also guarantee her victory. she’s capable of overpowering him intellectually, physically, emotionally, and probably even spiritually if it came to that. he does not have a singular chance, in this life or the next, of escaping or surviving m3gan’s wrath.

m3gan’s chance of success: 10/10

esther from orphan

i just recently saw orphan and its sequel for the first time, and i’m obsessed. esther is one of the most interesting villains to me, and upon seeing m3gan for the first time, i couldn’t help but wonder who would win in a brawl. this presents an interesting scenario because the chances of esther and m3gan being paired together are actually pretty high. i can definitely see a situation where a family gets a m3gan doll for esther. i think that they’d be onto each other’s bad behavior, and it would lead to an epic showdown.

though, esther is extremely intelligent, m3gan’s intelligence is literally unlimited. she can outsmart her easily. they’re about the same size, but m3gan’s machinery would do a number on esther. once again, m3gan’s got it in the bag.

m3gan’s chance of success: 8.5/10

thanks for reading this silly blog, and have a good new year!

hello, blog! this month, i’ll be talking about something extremely important to me–ocd awareness. for those who don’t know, i’ve suffered from severe obsessive compulsive disorder my entire life. it’s not something that i talk about very much–not because i’m embarrassed or ashamed, simply because i don’t always feel the need to share that part of me with everyone. if and when i do share with someone that i have ocd, it’s typically because i think they deserve an explanation for certain behaviors or because i trust them a great deal. with this post, though, i’m breaking that habit, that subconscious secrecy, because i need to address something that’s been weighing very heavily on my heart and mind–the use of ocd as a punchline or buzzword.

we’ve all heard it at least once. can you straighten those books? i’m ocd about that. sorry, i’m so ocd. i love to clean, i must be ocd. typically, these words are harmless. there’s no ill intent behind them, no malice or offence to be taken. for people with the disorder, however, (or at least me, personally) these words can feel like a gut-punch. i cannot accurately describe how hurtful it is to me to hear someone talk about this disorder like it’s a trivial thing or a personality trait. ocd is not all about tidiness and cleaning. it’s not all about tapping and light switches and numbers. yes, those can be and often are parts of it, but that’s all they are–parts. a person wouldn’t say i lost my keys, i’m so alzheimer’s. in fact, just reading that sentence probably made you angry, or, at the very least, cringe. i know i felt that way writing it. that is akin to the feeling of hearing someone use ocd incorrectly. ocd is not and adjective. your words matter. they have the power to empower and to invalidate. it’s your choice.

now that we’ve established what ocd isn’t, let’s talk a bit about what it is. in my own words, obsessive compulsive disorder is a crippling, life-threatening mental disorder. it is a stealer of joy, peace, and wellness. it’s a daily battle. a horrific disease that takes your sense of security, your trust in others and yourself, your faith in humanity and, sometimes, even God. it’s your worst fears playing on an eternal, repetitive loop in your head. by no means is it a cute personality trait or quirk. 

 Melinda Smith, M.A., Lawrence Robinson, and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. on helpguide.com gave this description, which i find super accurate and helpful:

“It’s normal, on occasion, to go back and double-check that the iron is unplugged or worry that you might be contaminated by germs, or even have an occasional unpleasant, violent thought. But if you suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors become so consuming they interfere with your daily life.

OCD is characterized by uncontrollable, unwanted thoughts and ritualized, repetitive behaviors you feel compelled to perform. If you have OCD, you probably recognize that your obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors are irrational—but even so, you feel unable to resist them and break free.

Like a needle getting stuck on an old record, OCD causes the brain to get stuck on a particular thought or urge. For example, you may check the stove 20 times to make sure it’s really turned off because you’re terrified of burning down your house, or wash your hands until they’re scrubbed raw for fear of germs. While you don’t derive any sense of pleasure from performing these repetitive behaviors, they may offer some passing relief for the anxiety generated by the obsessive thoughts.”

to sum all this up, i’ll leave you with this–no one is perfect, and we all say the wrong thing from time to time; but the next time you catch yourself wanting to say something that could potentially harm or invalidate others, please, please, think twice.

if you made it this far, thanks so much for reading! here are some helpful resources and links for those who want to further educate themselves (which i highly encourage):

@obsessivelyeverafter on instagram

@the_ocdproject on instagram

@ocd_strong on tiktok

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

anthony padilla video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsjHaC1q4OA

beyondocd.org

NOCD

hey, blog! for this post, i wanna talk about one of my favorite genres of film–spooky. not necessarily horror movies, just films that have a fantastical, scary, or autumnal vibe. (a legit horror movie list will likely arrive later). i’ve been rewatching lots of my halloween favorites lately, and i figured this was the perfect place to recommend some of them! so, without further ado, (and in no particular order) here are some great spooky movies!

practical magic (1998)

this is a movie that i watched for the first time recently, and i fell totally in love with it (thanks, locklyn)! it’s got the perfect blend of romance, nostalgia, and fantasy. plus, sandy bullock, stockard channing, and nicole kidman–how can it get any better? the soundtrack, too, is truly a beauty to behold. stevie nicks, joni mitchell, elvis–all my favorites in one place. another thing i love about this movie is that the dynamic of the family reminds me so much of my own. i could see glimpses of my mom, aunts, cousins, and myself in the characters. 10/10 spooky girl power comfort movie for sure.

the rocky horror picture show (1975)

fellas, this is one of my absolute favorite musicals, and the 70s movie is my favorite adaptation of it. rhps is hands-down one of the most creative, odd stories ever told, and this movie is the definition of a campy glam rock masterpiece. susan sarandon and tim curry (as always) are phenomenal and make this wacky, low-budget movie stand the test of time. the songs are bangers from start to finish, and the script is endlessly quotable. 

p.s. msa students are putting on a production of it on halloween night, and i may or may not be playing janet weiss!

the addams family (1991)

let’s get one thing straight–when i reference the addams family, i am always, always referring to the 1991 version! what a fun, campy, macabre masterpiece. when i was little, i got so excited when this movie came on tv because i was always compared to wednesday–and maybe, in hindsight, that was meant as an insult to my pessimistic nature or rbf, but i took it as the highest compliment because in my eyes, wednesday was the coolest ever. to this day, i want what morticia and gomez have. talk about a family who minds their business, keeps their circle small, and looks out for their own. the american dream, if you ask me. the cast is a delight, as well–houston, ricci, and julia deserve nothing less than three academy awards apiece. the perfect comfort movie for little girls who have dark humor and can’t seem to fit in anywhere.

well, that’s all for now. ’til next time, have a happy halloween!

(and come see msa’s production of rocky horror!)