I think that being at this new school I haven’t been giving myself enough time to be alone. My sophomore year was spent predominantly alone and I think I grew exponentially as a person. I think that for a long time I was afraid of being alone with myself, maybe it came from a place of self-discontentment or a place of hyperactivity but regardless I put it all aside for my second year of highschool. I made an effort to be friendly, when someone said hi to me I would wave in return and I kept my grades up but I really stayed out of the social loop. And for this week’s blog I think I’d like to share some of things I learned from that experience.
First off I think in this time I was better able to develop my taste in media, or film more specifically. I had a lot more time to myself so when I wasn’t studying I was watching movies. I really, really value that small chapter in my life for a number of reasons, or I guess a number of movies. Examples of this include movies like, Donnie Darko, The Perks of being a Wallflower, or even more known titles Grave Encounters or Creep. While I have always made an effort to take time out to appreciate the themes being portrayed in works during this time it was as if they resonated with me so much easier and faster.Whether it was how I could relate to how painfully human the acting was in movies like Creep, or the accuracy of the coming of age masterpiece that is the perks of being a wallflower.
Another positive aspect of spending all this time with myself was that I was finally able to really take some time to get to know myself. I think that after Covid the past few years of my life have just been a complete frenzy. So when everything began to slow down it’s almost as if I was getting to know someone that I had never been acquainted with. Through this time I learned who I was, while also being able to grow and heal from the person that I once was as well.
The final positive aspect of being alone that I would like to touch on is being able to better understand people.For the longest time I was afraid that I talked over people, even if they weren’t talking I felt as if when I had something to contribute I never truly listened and made an effort to understand who they were. I think that it is a lot easier to love someone that way, there are never too many aspects in which you’ll find yourself not loving someone.