Hi, how are you? I hope you are doing well. I can not imagine how you must feel during this challenging time in our world. It is so crazy how your life can change in a matter of years, months, weeks or in our case days. I want to use this blog post as kind of a time capsule for my emotions. I want to look back in a month or so when hopefully all of this is over and use it as a reminder to remain humble. Because nothing in life is guaranteed to you and it can be easily taken from you.
How I feel
To be honest and raw the main emotion I feel during quarantine is insecurity. I feel insecure about my physical appearance as well as my mental state. Last week hit me hard because I felt like I had no direction. Every day I had the same routine. I get up around 11 a.m. eat breakfast, watch t.v., scroll online, eat some more, watch more t.v., talk on the phone, eat something else, and feel about eating something else because I am supposed to be on a “diet”. But what my mind doesn’t understand is it is not much for me to do but eat. It’s my only source of dopamine at this point. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy being home and reconnecting with my family but I’m not the type of person who can just sit around and do nothing forever. So I was feeling guilty for just relaxing when the world is in a crisis. I wanted to do something to help the world, but what really can I do when the whole world is lost? Me being the aspiring journalist I am decided that I should document it. I started to interview my friends and family on their emotions towards the Covid-19 and being in quarantine. I mean, I don’t think I’m doing the most impacting thing that’s going to change the world. However, as long as I’m doing something, I feel like I can help people cope. To me, that’s better than sitting around and just complaining. Because I’m unsure of where I’m going to be after this blows over, but rather than focus on the future I want to focus on the now. So I’m going to continue to interview people rather it is over the phone or in-person (usually can do this with family members. Please practice social distancing).
Another emotion I’m feeling is hope. I may not know what’s going to happen after this but I have hope for a better world. Maybe after this pandemic, we can come closer to world peace, America can develop a better health care system, and finally, everyone can start practicing good hygiene. I don’t feel like this is the end of the world but rather a warning to the world. To get our lives together and focus on the beauty in life. At least that’s how I’m taking it.
Also I reminder for my future self. Stephyne, DON’T buy a dress during a novel outbreak when it’s not guaranteed that you will get to wear it!
I felt this whole post on an emotional, like this literally put how I feel about all this into words. So relatable, ESPECIALLY that last line!
I love this blog post. I definitely agree with you: I do not believe that this is the end of the world but a transition to a better one. I mean, interiors are getting sanitized and more people are actually practicing proper hygiene (which is kind of sad). I can relate a little to how you feel, but you are handling the situation better than me, hah. I spent the “extended break” week doing nothing but wanting to busy myself. Now online classes have begun, so I am struggling to deal with all of this work (right when I found inspiration for side projects, R.I.P.). I find it awesome how you are interviewing people and documenting this event; it is insanely impressive. I appreciate your outlook, also; focusing on the present is the best thing to do right now. Thank you, Stephyne.