I have realized that I have become so attached to trying to control my life. I try to plan out every single thing and organize everything in its place. Just trying to keep control. But I realized that I was trying to achieve something that doesn’t exist. We all know life doesn’t always work out the way we want it to. That’s because we have no power over life. So why be stressed over life when, in the end, you never know what happens. I’m constantly trying to teach myself that lesson. It’s a hard one for me to grasp, but I am trying. Recently, I wrote this prose piece about letting go of this concept called control. This piece serves as I reminder for myself to not overthink and get stress out so much over life. Maybe it can help you as well.
The wind’s howl graces my naked skin making my body shiver, as I grace this peaceful beach. I feel the rocks and sand being collected by my wandering toes. The only footprints I see are the ones that have been made by me. I’m the only one who knows of this peaceful beach. The migrating seagulls fly above me in the murky, troubled sky, and I hear their aching, passing cries. They fly swiftly through the wind, never edging downwards; as if they have been instructed to disregard this peaceful beach. Why have you been abandoned, dear? I look ahead and I see the waves and the shore dancing beautifully. My ears are fulfilled with the sound of the crashing sea, making its way towards me.
Like the siren to the brain, my body is signaling me to the sea. My heart longs to experience what some call freedom, but my mind is restricting me. It’s binding my body with a taut rope, stretching and tearing at my bare skin. The troubled sky intensifies as the thunder’s roar surrounds me. The lightning strikes a bright smile every minute and every second. My legs are weakened by the heavy wind, and I fall onto my knees. I’m trying to hold onto the sand and rocks beneath me. However, when my hands meet the sand it dissolves into liquid and travels to meet the sea. I see the chaotic sky closing in on me; I inhale. I inhale my doubts, my fears, my worries, and my tears. I inhale taking in every drop of oxygen. I no longer know how to breathe; I must release.
Through the eye of the storm, I see the peaceful sea flowing quietly. It’s parting a path for me, welcoming me home. Strength transpires somewhere inside me and I brace myself to stand. As I walk the thunder becomes silent, and the lightning doesn’t show its smile anymore. I’m on my way to meet the sea, that has been signaling me. My feet touch the shore and my body is warmed instantly. As I continue to make my way into the sea, my legs are lifted without a ground to stand on. My body is hidden in the water, and I lower my head and become afloat. I look up at the sky and I see that it is no longer troubled. The sun appears peeking through the clouds, saying hello to me. In return, I smile at the sun, and I let his beaming rays recharge me. The seagulls, who were told to never land on this beach, have returned. They watch me float in the sea.
My mind is at rest now, it’s no longer thinking. No longer pondering. No longer trying to control life. I can finally exhale. I exhale my doubts. I exhale my fears. I exhale my tears. I let go of everything. Release me sea. Release me, dear peaceful beach.