Have you ever gotten in your own way of doing something that you really wanted to do? I know I have. For as long as I can remember, I’ve stopped myself from doing things that I actually really wanted to do because I’ve been too afraid to do them. I’ve skipped dances and parties because I didn’t think anyone wanted me there. I’ve avoided speaking with people because I believed that they would find me annoying and wouldn’t want to talk to me. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. Around this time last year, I realized a change had to be made.
“Try new things”
I had never really considered making a New Years’ resolution before last year. I don’t quite remember what made me do it, but I decided that 2019 was going to be the year that I tried new things. Somehow I thought this may stop me from getting in my own way and missing out on things but it didn’t quite work out the way I wanted it to.
I started ordering new things at restaurants. Although this wasn’t the parties and other social interactions I was looking for, it was a start. I discovered a love for eggrolls and hummus through this practice.
By May, I was sure that I was coming to MSA. This was a definite case of me trying something new, as I had previously attended the same school since Pre-K. That summer, I did a lot of traveling. For a long time, I counted this as trying something new. But after a while, I realized that my travels didn’t count. Even though I was going to new places and seeing new things, I wasn’t really challenging myself. Therefore, it didn’t count.
So by the time December rolled around, I realized two things. One was that I had remembered my resolution until the end of the year, which is not a common occurrence. Another was that despite remembering my resolution, I hadn’t really done much with it. Sure, I’d eaten new things, traveled, and made some major life changes, but I still felt unsatisfied. I still felt as though I wasn’t doing the best that I could.
“Work for what you want… then get it”
For my 2020 resolution, I decided to go all in. No more stopping myself from doing things just because I’m afraid to do them. If 2019 and a failed resolution taught me anything, it was that I’m a bit of a pushover. I missed out on a lot because I was lazy or too nervous to do something and now I regret it. So this year, if I want something, I’m going to get it. And if I have to work to get it, then I’m going to do just that. I’m going to work hard for what I want and take it.
I’ve realized that if you don’t let yourself do what you want, then you’ll never get to do anything you want to do. It’s as simple as that. I have no idea why it took me so long to figure that out.
So to anyone reading this, I’d like to let you know that you shouldn’t waste time standing in your own way. Talk to new people even though they may find you annoying! You shouldn’t care about what they think of you! Try new things, even if it scares you at first! You’ll likely regret not taking doing it! Don’t be like me. Take a risk every once in a while. I know that sounds cliché, but trust me when I say you won’t regret it.
This reeaallyy gave me a different perspective because I have NEVER been this way, and I’m always constantly doing everything, sometimes too much. And I have this best friend back home who was just like this and it would drive me CRAZY when they wouldn’t do anything or just have fun and live in the moment with me, but reading this made me realize that I was being very insensitive and understanding of that person. For that, I thank you for sharing… can’t wait to read your next blog 🙂
I really related with your blog. I have stood in my way of many opportunities before. Looking back, I kind of regret doing so. This blog was very mind opening.
I related a lot with this post. I also went to the same school since Pre-K. It never really challenged me to get out of my comfort zone as I knew everyone there. I was so scared of coming here and thought a lot about turning down the offer, yet, here I am. I almost let a chance to be happier and better myself slip by because I was too afraid. In the end, no matter how many people you blame not doing something on, you’re the only person responsible for your happiness, which you cant get unless you put yourself out there, as you talked about in your post. Loved this.