When I was younger, a particular teacher would always make backhanded comments about my handwriting. This made me extremely insecure about how I wrote which eventually moved into me being insecure about what I wrote instead. I know it sounds weird, but back then everything was connected to me. Any wrong within my writing changed my writing as a whole. I would use simple words because they were easier to understand when I wrote it out. Keep in mind that this was during a time where I didn’t use computers to type my work. Believe me, if I could have typed every assignment that I had to handwrite, I would have. Unfortunately, without that luxury, I had to endure years of being teased about my writing because without a keen eye, my writing looked like a bunch of scribbles on a page. According to some, my writing was viewed as “chicken scratch.”
As I grew older and got away from that teacher, I let go of my insecurity of how I wrote, but I never let anyone see my writing. If it wasn’t for an assignment, the only one seeing my writing was me. This lingering insecurity formed into a form of hate. I despised writing things for people. I would grit my teeth, ball my fists, stomp my foot, you name it! I hated writing in school, mindless writing, even writing a letter. I always felt it would somehow be criticized.
It wasn’t until my freshman year of high school that I became open to the idea of creative writing. Before I get into that experience, I would like to take the time to mention that creative writing was never an option for me when I was younger. If the writing wasn’t educational in some sense, I wasn’t exposed to it. Coming into high school, nothing was the same from my previous years in school. There was an opportunity for me to join the school newspaper or the literary magazine. The opportunity came to me when my English teacher recommended I join either one. She praised me on my writing in her class. I was so shocked to hear this from her, especially with my history with teachers and my writing. She was the only teacher that actually liked my writing plus she didn’t care how I wrote. She never degraded me on my handwriting. That conversation that I had with her changed my life. She told me about the different types of writing, different forms of literature, and she helped with my handwriting a little. I was (and still am) so grateful for her. She really opened my eyes to the possibilities of writing.
The first time I willingly shared my work was with my mom for Mother’s Day. I didn’t have enough money to buy her a present, so I wrote her a small poem with a card. It was the best I could do, don’t judge. After I got done reading, my mom was in tears. She praised me on my words and pushed me to join the literary magazine for my school. This was the second person to tell me I should join. I talked to the teacher over the magazine, for whom later became my English teacher the next year, and she read some of my work and immediately let me join. From that day I started my journey to becoming a writer. I got the chance to have my writing workshopped and even featured in the magazine that year. I was slowly but surely growing into being comfortable and secure in sharing my writing with others. I was no longer insecure about that part of my life. I was proud of my work. Despite my less than happy history with my writing, I still found my niche and my passion in life. I never thought I would be sharing my past with writing willingly with you all, but I want this to inspire someone else. Never let the hardships or obstacles put in your path to stop you from following your passion for writing. Writing will take you to far places you never thought would be possible. It is a wonderful thing. To the kid that might be in the place I was: you will make it. I know it’s hard. I know you are scared, terrified even. Sharing this part of your life is hard. You are opening yourself up to eager eyes, but in time you will learn that that is the best part of it all. Being able to fully and completely have someone be captured and invested in your work no matter in what way is amazing.
Let my story be of inspiration to anyone who needs it. Let the lesson of “waiting for your time” resonate with you and give you some motivation to just keep writing. One day it could lead you to the best of places.
AWEE HONEY,,, I am so, so proud of you! I’m also SO glad you kept writing!! I mean, if you hadn’t, you might not be here, and then, who would I annoy every day?? 😉 But seriously, you are SUCH a good writer, and don’t let anyone EVER tell you different 🙂
“Let the lesson of “waiting for your time” resonate with you and give you some motivation to just keep writing. One day it could lead you to the best of places.” Yes mam you preached in this post!