December (In a Few Words)

Hello (:

It has been ten thousand years…

Anyway, I hope all of you had a pleasant break (if you had one) and slept a lot. I applaud anyone that also ate their weight in chocolate. You are my hero because I, too, adore eating sugar at random moments of the day…especially at eleven p.m.

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So this will stand as my first post of the year. I am going to be honest and say that I have typed at least three different versions, which strikes me as a little absurd. I had an overwhelming amount of ideas saturating my brain, though, and, at first, I spent so much time trying to combine them in creative ways. But in the end, I realized…Wow, a December post would wrap up all of this, huh. So, I present to you my fifth addition to this month series I have created.

(jazz hands)*

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Ah, December. Not only did I become incredibly inspired this month, but I can recognize inspiration that I have carried away from it.

During December, I feel like I am always hit with nostalgia. I start flipping through journals and picking which dates match my current ones, and then I compare content. I had a lot of fun with that, this time, and that is mainly because this December was so much better than the previous one. R.I.P. That concludes my first example of inspiration. To put it in words for you, my days improved, and that inspires me itself.

For some reason, I had so many yellow days. That confuses me because nothing super awesome happened. I was wrapped in happiness because I wanted to; I put a lot of effort into trying. This inspires me right now, at this moment, because I feel trapped in an “eh” mood. Although life is not grey, my current day feels blue-green. I hope this changes, as it proves quite debilitating. But I believe that trying makes a difference. If, for some reason, you ever feel monochromatic and as if your insides are raining, I recommend resistance. Never sink into this open ocean for too long (unless you are a diver or something).

During December, I had a lot of motivation to live the upcoming year as intentionally as possible. This is a bit surprising because I started off 2019 all agdakgfhvwhf, if that makes sense. I basically took the shape of a disgruntled amoeba with a taste in self-deprecating jokes and tar-like pessimism. But I ended all, “wow, I like life, so pretty, much coolness, beauty is everywhere and stuff, hm.”

Determination to grow (even more) prompted me to put to work a random journal. During the break, I spent many hours bombarding its cover with stickers and cutting paper into squares of different sizes. After all of this vague description, I want to inform of its purpose: …Okay, first I have to supply a bit of context. I am a procrastinator (I know, right—frowny face). I am actually so bad of a procrastinator that, often, I used to stay up frantically multi-tasking while battling a self-induced, mini breakdown. Why? Well, I thought that I could never concentrate on a usual basis, but, when the due date rolled around, heck, I could focus for hours. Coming to MSA forced me to retire some of those bad habits (ex: I waited until the night before to complete over half of a packet…I never did that again). Actually, thinking about it, now, I became incredibly organized at the end of 2019. I worked ahead and completed a bit of homework each night, and I learned to not profit off of the adrenaline rush that resulted from a maniacal deadline breathing over my shoulder. But, anyway, about the journal…Basically, it is where I am trapping all of my goals (etc.) within. Most of them circle topics related to procrastination (such as going to sleep early, hah…hah…). But I also have topics dealing with being a better person in general (ex: reminders to have gratitude and to try not to morph back into the amoeba). It has helped me a lot, already, because it puts everything into perspective. Also, I have a few sections where I mention what I am thankful for, and it helps to flip back to it whenever I forget and feel dull.

I chose peace (groovy) to be my word for 2020, and I had a few revelations that added significance.

Moving on to other topics of interest, I became infatuated with an instrument that I will mention in an upcoming blog post (; . In fact, I am so fascinated by it that I spent literally hours researching it, and I want to have one in my possession so badly. Oops.

Also, I listened to a lot of music. I plan on mentioning that in my next two blogs (; . Inspiration from this propelled me into almost as much research as the instrument (of my dreams).

And, to conclude my post, I received fifteen pairs of novelty socks for Christmas. They constitute a portion of my will to live. I think that I have amassed a collection of around fifty pairs over the course of (maybe?) three years, gasp. I have forty pairs with me at school, in my dorm, and I love them all (I am as confused as you are).

Anyway, good bye, everyone. I leave hoping you have taken at least something from this post (other than a headache). I also recommend keeping a “perspective journal”, picking a word to focus on for the year, and listening to music more than small talk (but also remember to socialize (I know, I know) because it can be beneficial in ways other than wasting time). I hope all of you enjoyed me pretending to be organized. Peace.

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Wednesday’s Fun Fact:

If you are an frustrated writer, have courage. You may understand existence in everything around you but can never express it. Remember that the words are enough, and they will not leave. The colors and textures of reality will become more familiar, and one day they will manifest in the shape of words, able to be savored.