Want to know what frustrates me? Since the age of four, I have slaved every day for eight hours over work that I will never have to worry about again, after I graduate from high school. Don’t get me wrong, when I first began schooling, I absolutely loved it. I was able to go sit in a class with my friends for eight hours, say my ABC’s and 123’s, take a nap, go home, and let my mama take care of me. Who wouldn’t want to live that life? Then, as the years went on, my days slowly but surely seemed to have gotten longer. Yes, I still had my friends, but we were doing more than saying our ABS’s and 123’s, and my nap was taken away. Can you imagine as a kid how that feels?
By the fifth grade, I was not only doing more than saying my ABC’s and 123’s, but I was fighting for a top spot in my class. I can not speak for anyone else’s school, but the students I was mentally fighting with were pretty dang good. The teachers would use reverse psychology on us to make us more competitive with one another. It got to the point where assignments and tests were no longer assignments and tests. It was just another “to-do” of who could finish first with the most correct.
And now that I am close to the end of my first educational journey, I am starting to become a little terrified. I am really about to be out here, living in this cruel world, alone. I will be without my mother, my grandmother, my handful of “friends”, and any other form of guidance. I will be out here making decisions for myself without having to check with anyone and all of that. You know, now that I am really getting it all out, I think I am a little more than terrified. I am scared out of my mind. I have so many un-answered questions about this whole living on my own situation. Where do I stay? What will I do, career wise? When will my family start? How will I deal with that? So much runs through my mind with this particular topic, it is literally ridiculous.
Do you know what is even more frustrating? The fact that I know this. It literally crosses my mind every single day. “After this year and after I graduate, I will never need this stuff again?” Somebody has got to understand what I am feeling.
It makes me so upset that school has become a competition rather than a source to better our future leaders of America. It’s really sad to see. I relate though, this is exactly how I felt growing up.