Changing “I want” to “I will.”

For the past two years, I have heard over and over again how my dreams will only lead me in two directions: eternal debt or on the streets. Or both. Ever since the statement, “I want to major in Journalism and minor in Fashion and Creative Writing at the University of Southern California. After college I hope to build myself up to eventually working for Vogue,” left my mouth, people have been putting their input in like it’s their dream to create. I mean, after all, our dreams are the one thing we can shape and develop without anyone knowing it. It’s in our minds and whether we put it out in the world or not is completely up to the dreamer. However, that never stopped them from putting their impute in, just hoping to change something in my plan. And I have to admit, for a while I let them get in my head and curate my dreams and goals. Since then I’ve had so much on and off doubt inside me on whether the colleges I want to go to and the goals I have in life are valid. If they were even achievable.

After many long talks with family members about why I should go to a school in state and how I’m “too smart to settle for a Journalism degree,” I started to doubt myself. I would tell myself I was going in state, and that I could major in Nursing because at least then my family would be proud of me. I guess you could say for a while, my main priority was to make them happy and forget about my very own happiness. I played this part very well for a few months until I realized that this is not my passion. I realized that if I did not follow through with my dreams, I would not be happy.

There were two things upon this awakening that became visible: I would have to work 10 times harder to get where I want to be, and that no matter what, Journalism is my passion and even if I am living pay check to pay check for the rest of my life, I will be doing what I love.

Upon this discovery, I realized that I’m the only one holding me back, and my families input is just something to feed to the insecurity in my head. For a while, it became the fuel to those parts of me. However, now I know that my parents can’t decide what college I attend and nor can my grandparents. At the end of the day, I am the one that will choose which major I want to pursue.

It was this realization that motivated me to keep striving. I decided to start taking all AP classes to get my GPA up so I’d have a better chance at getting into the colleges I want. I’m studying extra hard for the ACT and have decided to take it every time possible so I can get to the 30+. I even started my college essays because I know that the essay in itself holds a big weight when it comes to college admissions. I’m working towards my goals because I finally got rid of the insecurities and self-doubt that was holding me back, and it is truly liberating.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is, don’t let other people tell you what your dreams should be. If you want something bad enough, you will get it. Yes, it will take some hard work and some dedication, but at the end of the road when you have finally gotten to where you want to be, you will realize just how worth it all of it was. The fact of the matter is, you possess the power to get what you want and be who you want to be. The only disadvantage is deciding to not use that power, but again, that is completely up to you.

So, I will major in Journalism and minor in Fashion and Creative Writing at the University of Southern California. I will graduate and I will work at Vogue as a Journalist.

Now, who wants to try and stop me?

 

Author: Victoria Jerde

Victoria Jerde is a writer who enjoys long walks through forgotten mine fields, cutting her hair spontaneously, and reading books that make her cry for no reason. She likes to spend all her money on face masks that probably don't make a recognizable difference, and she is also the type of person to lose everything that she owns. Her favorite hobbies include waking up at two in the morning because she thought of something to write about, sewing clothes when she gets stressed out, and being a fake IG model because hey, why not?