You see those words blaring at you, the blue screen illuminating, trying to irritate your eyes even more, “I love you, but I can’t be with you anymore.” It feels like you’re being crushed. Like your surroundings are being sucked into a black hole, and you’re in the center of it. It’s dramatic, and you feel dramatic, but it’s okay. Let yourself feel. Let yourself have the biggest cry session you’ve ever had. Cry in your bed alone with the lights off, cry in your best friends car, cry on your mom’s shoulder; just cry whenever the feelings start to seep and overflow. Reminisce, but don’t linger. Detox your life for all traces of them, so that when a sinking sense of false reality hits, you don’t go back to try and re-feel. Leave the past in the past. Realize you’re not a bad person for needing to be distant. Also realize you’re not a bad person when you’re ready to let that past sneak back in. Just make sure you’re not wearing rose colored goggles. Don’t make demons out of angels. Do deeper delving before you place blame. But also don’t make angels out of demons. When months go by and you’re still in the same pit of missing them, don’t get frustrated. It’s easy to get frustrated over the fact it’s been two months and you still can’t shake the thought of them. Maybe it will be that third month that you start to bloom out of that cocoon of brokenness. Some days you will wake up with them on the mind, and go to bed in the same state. Any then suddenly one day, you wake up, and you’re thoughts are focused on the day ahead, not the person left behind. It’s gradual. Become aware that this process can’t be forced. Trust the process. You can’t make yourself unlove someone, simply because they don’t love you anymore. That’s the cruel nature of it. But eventually, it will hit, that you do not love them anymore. It could be weeks, maybe months, but it will come. You will hear this from a million people and not believe them; not until it happens to you. It might still hurt to hear their name, or see pictures, but your love for them will have fallen with the autumn leaves. Don’t feel bad if they’re trying to wiggle back into your life, and you’re not ready. If you are ready, be polite, but don’t be overtly giving. Your time is up and that isn’t your job anymore. You’re the CEO of your own life. You call the shots. Be fearless and fearful at the same time about new prospective relationships. Be honest and open about how you feel with that new person. Don’t have the mindset of “Am I ready to do this again?” This new relationship is not the old one. It may have similarities, and it may not have any. Realize over and over again that you are in control. You decide what happens next. You may have not been in control with the break-up, the aftermath is all you. The ball is in your court.
