A Scroll Through Life

So many things are happening at once, and it is all leaving me with a whirlwind of emotions. I’m stressed, terrified, nervous, a little down, and very happy. It’s horribly extraordinary. It feels like I’m scrolling through Facebook, seeing a young man with down-syndrome graduate and then a young woman is missing. I see a child being bullied and then a dog with paralysis learn to walk. My heart is on a rollercoaster, and I’m not sure if I want to get off.

One part of my life is being drowned in chaos. I need to do this, and then I need to do that. This is coming up, but I need to prepare for that. School and home are beginning to bleed into each other and make this really ugly color. I have expectations to meet, deadline creeping up on me, and people depending on me. Do I get to breathe anytime soon?

Then comes that part of my life that wants to run and hide. I am a junior now. I go to a school where everyone is talented. I am intimidated. Next year is right around the corner. I need to start researching scholarships and reassuring myself on colleges and majors. My ACT score needs to shoot up ten points. I am wholeheartedly scared. Everyone keeps telling me not to worry about it right now, but I can’t help it. I’m too paranoid I’m going to wait too long and not be ready. I stress enough as it is, what if I get to college and have a heart attack? The whole idea is giving me anxiety.

Things are getting crazy back at home. Friends are turning against each other; my old school had a bomb threat. It’s unbelievable. Those who graduated last year are tearing themselves apart with pressure. My friends are hurting. It breaks my heart.

Don’t worry though, there is light in my little dungeon. My boyfriend is going back to school, trying to get a car and a license. He is getting a new job that will treat him better and benefit him wildly. He is a little freaked out, but I am so proud of him. He woke up one day and decided to get his life on track. It inspires me to see people who have reached their lowest point, stand up and try again.

I’m trying to not let everything get to me. I know that life isn’t easy, especially not here. I may cry from time to time; I may even get angry, but there is light. Somewhere on this page-of-life, you will find a story of a girl not giving up, and despite all the hardship you are facing, I want you to be inspired to keep going too.