Feel Good

Recently, there have been things that ave truly brought me back to my true self. Coming here, I feel as if I’ve lost the persona that I used to have. But there are some moments, when that really make me feel that way again. Feel like I’m the girl I was without acting.

Right now, I’m feeling like myself because of a song. I just found it, but oh my goodness I’m in love with it. It’s just one of those feel good type songs. It’s called “Dance in the Living Room” by NVTHVN. Please, give it a listen!

I keep revisiting this song, just because it makes me feel like myself again.

Over this past month, I truly just haven’t felt like myself. I’ve felt like a fake. Like I’ve got this fake persona. Not saying that I’m two faced, but more of that I’ve been showing a new personality, possibly because of my new environment?

Let me explain. I’ve noticed that my ditzy-ness has been, enhanced. Don’t get me wrong I’ve always been a lil’ bit of an airhead. One of my friends, Hannah, has a whole list of dumb things I’ve said. I wish I could find it, but the picture has been lost in the mix sometime since Freshman year. I’ve only been able to salvage a couple of them. 

The list includes:

“I’m sorry I don’t have my glasses on I can’t hear you.”

“I measure all my events from when the Titanic happened.”

“I can see words.”

See? But since being here, it’s been real bad. Not in the sense that I’ve been saying an abundance more of dumb things, but more of my tone and characteristics? I just feel so childish in my tone of talk. I swear my voice has raised about 5 octaves since being hereSom.

I just feel like I’m missing the sarcastic, quippy side of me. Maybe I’ve dropped this in fear of coming off as mean or unapproachable, but I’m afraid I’ve morphed myself into someone that.

It’s funny that my outward being has become so sickly sweet, because my inner dialogue has gotten darker? Or rather it has slowed down.

The best comparison of how my brain used to be, was like Dug, the dog from UP (AKA a cinematic masterpiece.) What I mean by this, is my brain used to be so scattered, but in the best way possible. It’s how I was able to function.

Now my brain is a rock. I hardly feel like I can form coherent inner thoughts. It’s so odd and foreign. Most people would love to be thoughtless, but I just feel dull. But at least I have the feel good things. 

Sometimes it’s songs, but it can be people, outfits, places, etc. It just depends where I am at my life. 

Feel good things are only temporary. I can’t have something or someone to depend on my happiness at all times. 

That’s the downside of having feel good things. 

Author: Emerson Hultman

Not gonna lie, there isn't too much to know about me. The way to my heart is Diet Coke and 2008 bops, I love writing and photography, and I will stop every time I see a dog on the street. I would say that's about it?

3 thoughts on “Feel Good”

  1. I love this because I seriously relate to it. I think this is something everyone struggles with at some point. It is just something you have to figure out ya know?

  2. We’re here for you if you ever want to talk to us, and I’m always around if you want to talk to me about things. 🙂

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