Pretty sad, but also not really

Waiting:

Is this a joke,

being played to me, by me?

There’s no crack or split, no lighting

No skin shredding winds

No stillness, there is still moment

No disaster warning

because there is no disaster

Just life being life

And people doing things people do

There is nothing, there isn’t anything

but still something

sticky

dropping down with a purpose

Down my body,  and into my chest

It sits there for maybe a week

Maybe, but not at all

it can’t burst

it doesn’t rupture

just bubbles up

And goes back down

Throughout out the day

but it feels necessary

in a familiar type of way

It keeps my insides intact,

Even though it weighs me down

It might just be my head

gaining its feelings back

By giving me a numbness

That burns behind my eyes

I wrote this poem because I was hella depressed, and felt really bad about life and everything. I truly just wanted to crawl up in a ball and never wake up again. I know this isn’t something new ever teenager gets likes this but honestly, it was pretty bad this time around. I try my best no to make poetry when I’m sad because it seems like I’m trying to get something out of it. When in actuality no one ever sees my secret poetry collection of sad things. No, that it actually exists or anything. Haha…, Anyway this one is very recent I wrote it in a tent out behind “JI” because I really didn’t know what else I could have done. If it seems confusing it’s because it is. My emotions were everywhere at that point and trying to talk to people about it seemed like too much of a bother. I just let myself think and let it flow out.  Which I suppose that could be the best way to write poetry, by letting yourself word vomit. I mean, I don’t know if any of you guys actually do that or not, but I just find it interesting how I can only do that when I’m in some type of mood extreme. Whether it be happy or severely depressed. Just one of those random out of nowhere traits you figure out, like juggling while you left pinky toe rests in a vat of hot cheese. I’m not saying I can do that or anything, but I know one of might be able to if you give it a try. Like honestly if any of you can actually do that I will pay to see it, that seems pretty cool.  Anyways’s if you finished this blog post look up “BTS” they are a really cool K-pop band that helps me a lot when I’m feeling sad. Peace

 

 

Author: Timera Gaston

I write because I can. It's my own special voice and it couldn't be any better than this. This is my growth. My history. My pride. A journey lives within the each and every word. A journey that i want to continue to share.

5 thoughts on “Pretty sad, but also not really”

  1. I remember this day, with the tent, that was a wild day. But I love the poem that came out of the situation. I feel like you concentrated all of your emotions into this. I really like that. Also I see you gave a shoutout to k-pop. Proud of this. Great work!

  2. I’m really happy that you’re opening up a little and you’re finding better ways to express yourself. Always feel free to come to me and talk or rant or anything!

  3. First of all, I love that sneaky BTS promo at the end, that was great. Second of all, that’s basically how I get any of my above average poetry. I let the emotions build up and up until I can spew them out in some sort of jumbled form on paper, leave it, then possibly edit it into something attainable later. If you ever need to rant or talk to someone, I’m basically free all the time (also I will watch more BTS with you than probably anyone else will – I have a playlist).

  4. i love this i love this I FEEL THIS. sometimes you just get stuck in a pit of despair and you aren’t sure how you got in, but sometimes the only way out is to write. the words make a ladder and they help you find a way out

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