A Note on Suicide…

The following is an article I wrote for MSA’s school newspaper, RISE. I am one of the co-heads of the Health & Wellness section. Please go check out the entire paper and help support Journalism in schools.

TW: Information about suicide.

Suicide Helpline numbers will be included at the end of this blog post.

In honor of the end of Suicide Prevention Month, I am writing a post on suicide. This is a very grim topic, and I apologize if this is uncomfortable for many of you, but this is something that is a very real threat to our lives. Nobody is completely protected from the causes of suicide, but by talking about it, we can be more aware of it and make it less of something to be hidden. Hiding these feelings, normally called suicidal ideations, is how they go unnoticed. This is dangerous for reasons that I shouldn’t even have to explain.
Suicide, by definition, is the act of harming oneself with the intent to kill. Suicidal ideation is the continued thought of this act. Suicidal ideation is incredibly hard to diagnose or prevent, given that we cannot monitor thoughts. We can monitor behaviors, but if the affected individual is adept at hiding these behaviors, then it can be nigh impossible.
We can look for warning signs, though. These are some of the most common warning signs of suicide: speaking about killing oneself or wanting to die, talking about feeling trapped or hopeless, acting anxious or agitated; being reckless, increased use of alcohol or drugs, extreme mood swings, self-isolation, drastic change in sleep such as sleeping too little or too much, displaying increased aggression, rage, or seeking revenge, and finally, searching for a way to kill oneself, such as searching online, buying a gun, or commonly buying an excess of sleeping pills.
These signs are easily dismissed as being a teenager, and sometimes the sudden influx of hormones do share the signs, but recognizing these signs in family, friends, or children is paramount to their safety. I’m not asking that my readers be constantly vigilant, but somewhat. If anyone you know has had a drastic change in mood, personality or behavior, please check up on them.
This is a topic that is difficult to even write about, much less discuss, but I implore you, dear readers, to be careful. If you notice these signs in yourself as well, please talk to someone about it.
Suicidal thoughts can arise during long periods of excess conflict, change, high local suicide rates, or loss of relationships or a job. Cultural and religious beliefs can also increase the likelihood of suicide by bringing a stigma to the discussion of it, or by making a person believe that it is a noble solution to a personal or interpersonal problem. This is highly incorrect.
Dear reader, if you are struggling with these feelings, I have something I would like you to know. I don’t care if you feel that you have nothing to offer the world. You do. You may not see it, but I know for a fact that you have things to offer the world and others around you. Your smile is beautiful, even if you may not show it, and you have the ability to brighten the day of the people you meet. Even just in a passing smile, or general compliment, you can make someone’s day so much better. You could prevent someone else from feeling the same way you do.
This article is intended to be both a warning and a message to those struggling with suicidal thoughts or those who believe they are completely unaffected by them. Nobody is completely invulnerable to anything, but if we as a society can move past the stigma about suicide, we can make this a world worth living in. I believe that everyone has something to offer our world, even if they do not see it themselves. With that, I will leave suicide hotlines at the bottom of this article. If you need help, do not be afraid to seek it. You deserve all the help that you can get. You matter.


Dial 911 if you are in immediate danger.

Suicide Lifeline
Dial or Text 988 for Hotline
Or, visit chat.988lifeline.org to chat online.

Dial 211 if you are in crisis and need emergency referrals to social and community services but are not currently experiencing a life-threatening emergency

The Youthline specializes in teen-to-teen crisis support, and can be reached from 4-10pm PST for peer services by texting ‘teen2teen’ to 839863, otherwise, it is staffed 24/7 by adult crisis responders at (877) 968-8491

The Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ and questioning youth
1(866) 488-7386

Imaginary Friends, Alternate Realities, and Dead Parents: Summarizing Fran Bow

Trigger/Content warning: This game has themes of murder, death, abuse, animal death, mental illness, and most of these things happen to young children. Please read with precaution and take care of yourself. 

 

On August 17th, 2015, an indie story game with the 90s point-and-click game mechanic was released. On the surface, Fran Bow was a puzzle filled, easy to follow story of a young girl experiencing life-changing trauma and how she navigates her new life. As the story progresses, we are introduced to themes of 1940s psychology, experimental surgeries, religious imagery, young children with vast traumatic backgrounds, authoritative abuse, alternate realities, and even the supernatural. 

The opening of the game is a cut scene with simple black and white drawings of Fran’s life before the plot of the game. We are introduced to nine-year-old Fran, her parents, her cat Mr. Midnight, and her aunt Grace. We are also shown a ghostly figure with an animal skull where a head should be. This creature appears after Fran finds the dead and mutilated bodies of her parents. The ghostly creature haunts Fran through her journey as a reminder of the traumatic murder of her parents. The creature tries to make Fran believe she was responsible for her parents’ deaths, and that she will be the next to die because of it. 

fran bow quotes on Tumblr

The game starts with Fran in a mental hospital with other children. She has been separated from her cat, Mr. Midnight. She is deemed a troublemaker by the nurses and has been prescribed a medicine called Duotine. This medication is a psychoactive drug that allows Fran to see and roam around an alternate version of her reality. This new reality is filled with death, ghostly figures, and secret messages. To escape, Fran must rely on the pills as well as the help of other children in the hospital. Once making it out, Fran must make it through a hedge maze filled with shadow monsters and bug creatures. At the end of the maze is a sewer and walking through will draw chapter one to a close.

Fran Bow Chapter 1 fungameshare.com | Share Games for Chrome/iOS/Android

Chapter two opens with Fran stepping out of the sewer and into the unfamiliar forest. She meets a large bug-man and his pet beetlepig, a rat who wants their fur brushed, ghostly heads hanging from trees by their hair, and a pinecone family. To leave this forest, Fran must assist all of these creatures and in return, they help her through a small door at the base of a wishing well. This door brings Fran into a colorful home filled with frilly decorating, beautiful foods, and interesting family photos of two twin sister. Continuing through the house, Fran finds paintings of the ghostly creature that stalks her, doll heads and dolls in cages, bloodstains, and even a dead body. Fran makes it to the attic where she finds her beloved cat, Mr. Midnight, trapped in a bird cage. In order to free her cat from the cage, Fran must meet the owners of the house and help them preform a ritual. The owners, Mia and Clara, are twin girls who have been sewn together at the hip. Their backstory is unclear at this point in the story, but their motives are clear: they want Fran to complete a ritual that could get her killed. Instead, Fran performs a ritual to redeem Mia and Clara’s trapped souls. Once they are freed, Fran is able to retrieve the key to free Mr. Midnight. This chapter ends with Fran and Mr. Midnight traveling across the ocean on the back of a large toad and ending up on a new island inhabited by root, tree, and vegetable people.

Image - Twins 2nd room.png | Fran Bow Wiki | FANDOM powered by Wikia

In this new world, Fran finds that she has become a tree person as well. Fran and Mr. Midnight meet the king of this new reality, and he introduces them to someone who can help Fran become human once more. They are introduced to the doctor of the realm, a large, flying, pink axolotl named Palontras. He takes Fran to his island where he tries to help her but is unable to completely return her to her human form. He advices Fran to visit the wizard atop the mountain as he might be able to help. Once more, Fran must complete puzzles, riddles, and quests to complete this goal, but she is ultimately able to become human once more. The end of the chapter is a mini game where Fran must run away from a large troll creature to safety. 

Image - Itherstanise fran and mr.midnight fish.png | Fran Bow Wiki ...

Chapter four is broken into two parts. The first starts with Fran and Mr. Midnight back in a forest that Fran doesn’t recognize. She has lost her pills but finds them tied to a string. She tries to grab the bottle, but it is pulled away. Fran follows the moving bottle until she finds herself stepping directly into a net trap. She is quickly able to escape, but when she does, she meets an important new figure. Itward is a large, lanky, skeleton man with a top hat and fancy suit. He has Fran’s best interest at heart and is prepared to help her escape from her hardships for good. She must help him get his ship started, but once she does, the three of them board the flying ship. Itward’s ship holds most of the lore, backstories, and information that you can find in the game. You must complete more puzzles, as well as ones that make Fran question Itward’s intentions. In the end, Itward helps Fran fight off the ghostly creature that’s been following her and earns her trust. 

REVIEW: Fran Bow – Heart-Warming and Slightly Disturbing | Girls in Capes

The second part begins when Fran and Mr. Midnight attempt to enter their home. The door is locked, so Fran instructs Mr. Midnight to enter through the window and open the front door for her. While Mr. Midnight is in the house, the head doctor at the mental hospital drives up to the house and insists Fran should get inside his car. The doctor doesn’t believe Fran when she says Mr. Midnight is inside the house; rather, the doctor believes Mr. Midnight died alongside Fran’s parents. During the drive, we find out that the doctor had recently been fired as he began to question the goings-on within his own hospital. Fran convinces him to take her to the graveyard where her family is buried to try and prove the existence of multiple realities.  They dig up her family’s grave but ultimately find the skeletal remains of this realities Mr. Midnight. While leaving the cemetery, the doctor is killed by the ghostly figure following Fran and chapter four ends. 

Fran Bow Chapter 4 on AppGamer.com

Chapter five opens with Fran chained to her childhood bed. Her aunt comes in and explains that she was the one who restrained Fran, and that it is for her own safety. To escape, Fran must depend on the alternate versions of herself who inhabit the realities around hers. When she manages to escape, she must complete more complicated puzzles before she can leave her bedroom. Getting through her bedroom door leads her into a brand-new reality with doors on the walls, ceilings, and floors. The reality seems to be floating in the middle of space, not bound by time or regular physics. Fran must pass through all of these rooms, solving more puzzles and helping the inhabitants of this plane. She finally makes it into the final room and finds herself in a waiting room lobby, very similar to the one back at the mental hospital. She trades tickets with another patient so she can enter the doctor’s office first. This is where she finds that the doctor had not actually been killed at the cemetery. He is sitting in an electric chair, bound with leather binds. Mr. Midnight is also there, once more trapped in a cage. 

Fran Bow (2015) - Game details | Adventure Gamers

The end of the game is insane twist after even crazier twist, and I will save all of that for the next part. In the second half of this mini-series, I will dive into the deep lore I did not touch on here, historical importance, and even fan theories. I highly encourage anyone to play through this game, even after reading through this post. Fran Bow has a simple mechanic, but it is a powerful game with a compelling story that remains important when discussing mental health today. 

Too Poppin’ 2 Be Sad On Your Birthday: Breaking Down Amine’s Dr. Whoever

Coming in as the opening single of Amine’s EP/LP/Mixtape/Album (his words not mine), ONEPOINTFIVE, which was released on August 15, 2018, is a song that would touch base on mental health and wellness within the black community. Amine calls this song a “therapy session” between himself and the listener of the song. He releases his most vulnerable thoughts in the style of song that he dare not discuss with his homies. This song is none other than “Dr. Whoever” which features an opening monologue by Youtuber, model, and influencer, Rickey Thompson. 

The opening lines of Rickey’s monologue begins with him saying, “Sad on your [redacted] b-day?…Don’t you realize you popping?”

Rickey Thompson GIF by Coach - Find & Share on GIPHY

 

This opener definitely hit home for me and I bet a lot more people can find it relatable. While birthdays are meant to be a day of celebration for an additional year of life, I, just as many others, often feel a sense of dread that comes along with it. Rickey’s monologue basically tells the reader that they are too fly to be having a birthday pity party. And Rickey is most definitely correct. 

Amine released this song just a little over a month before my 15th birthday. With little else to do, I was quick to learn this song and it’s become a tradition that I listen to it the day of my birthday before doing anything else just for the opener. 

Although “Dr. Whoever” starts off on a light note, Amine jumps right in with his therapeutic flow of words that will be shared with the listener. The first few lines, “I sit here and tell you my problems…I’m s’posed to be open and honest” is Amine’s way of letting his more vulnerable side be shown to his fans and a way to let down his guard so the therapeutic nature of the song is on full display. Further into his first verse he explores his growing up. He speaks of his firsts, his lasts and even his current situations involving family and love. 

“Dr. Whoever’s” chorus follows the first verse further deepening the illusion of this song being a therapy session between he and his fans/ listeners.  Amine said in a  GENIUS interview, “‘I gotta make sure every intro I do, you and me connect at least.'” Amine delivered on his promise with this song as the introduction song for his album, ONEPOINTFIVE, as “These intros ain’t meant to be bangers; They meant for you and me so we’ll never end up as strangers.” acts as the opening line for his chorus. While these line are pretty straightforward, they further reveal the vulnerability he has as a black man in his music.

Verse 2 of “Dr. Whoever” transitions into a more up tempo beat as does Amine’s subject of rapping. He does this with many other songs of his. It allows the beat to match his words and for the listener to feel more connected to it. Amine speaks on his unexpected success and accomplishments to show just how ‘popping’ he is, which I’m sure made Rickey Thompson proud.  This verse serves as reasons not be so sad and down on your birthday and be thankful for growth and success.

Period Reaction GIF by MOODMAN - Find & Share on GIPHY

 

The chorus plays again after the second verse as the beat dies back down to a more mellow one as verse 3 plays. Verse 3 is where Amine closes out the song with the original message of the lack of mental health knowledge and access to therapy within the black community. He asks of the rest of the black community to open up and be vulnerable about their emotions, because often in the black community we are told to brush them aside. “To all my [redacted] with some melanin, let your feelings settle in.” Even though he preaches of this action of ‘feeling’ he realizes that he “should take that advice.”

The song closes out with yet another monologue from Rickey Thompson. This outro to “Dr. Whoever” states that the person should gather their thoughts and turn up for their birthday. “Dr. Whoever” serves as a way for Amine to connect more with his fans, but I also found much needed comfort in the relatability of his words. I definitely recommend that you should give this song a listen, especially if you would like more insight into the struggle of mental health within the black community, and if you want to discover a dope new artist.  Links will be left down below of the song and his GENIUS video breaking down the song himself.

Until Next Time,

A Girl Who Wants An Amine Hoodie For Her Birthday 🙂