We all have class with little old danny. Little Danny boy. I sit in the far back corner, but I know anyone who’s come to speak to me or even turned around has seen my phone sitting against my laptop. I write a little bit and hit two or three buttons, then get back to it. Though nobody cares, I will pretend they do, and for those of you who have wondered “what is danny doing back there? Our lovely literary rep, who represents our entire discipline?”
IM playing cookie run kingdom.
To clarify I do pay attention to my work. Gonna defend myself a little. I hit three buttons to get through levels I don’t have the mental bandwidth to sit through in my freetime, because I might as well do something fun to even out the boring (progressing in levels being boring, my work being fun). There was a picture shared in a group chat of parker and if you zoom wayyyyy in the back there is the victory screen for the strawberry cake tower in cookie run kingdom, from when I progressed past lvl 100. I love this game so much and play it constantly. It is actually sitting on my desk RIGHT NOW. I would explain the entire lore of cookie run, both the game and just kingdom lore (theres a lot), however I DON’T WANT TO!!!! So I’m going to talk about my favorite cookies only.
Going through the entire list of cookie run characters, or only the ones we see in kingdom (danny does NOT care about ovenbreak, ovensmash, or tower or wtv I DON’T CAREEE) is pretty difficult. There are just so many good cookies and so many reasons why I like the ones I do, so I’ve narrowed it down to a list of my favorite cookies from each category. I also want to talk briefly about the newest update, which I am SO EXCITED FOR!!!
My favorite Ancient may take the title of my favorite cookie, White Lily cookie!!!
White Lily cookie is one of the five ancients, and her soul jam represents freedom. She is obsessed with the idea that cookies “crumble” (die) and is searching for a way to extend their lives, because if you’re alive forever then you can do what you want (bad ideology, btw, don’t do this). In her search for immortality she goes straight to the source of cookies, the witches, who the cookies revere as gods. She finds out here that cookies were created to be eaten shortly before falling into a bowl of dough, where she transforms into a new being, Dark Enchantress Cookie. All you need to know is that she’s evil fr. The goodness of white lily cookie’s soul jam later became another version of herself, basically a round of reincarnation, which is why her and dark enchantress are separate.
White Lily’s story is one of my favorites, and her awakened design is my favorite change of ALL of the cookies. My favorite beast is also closely linked with her, Silent Salt!
I actually don’t know much about Silent Salt cookie’s lore, but I know he’s the beast of Silence. Basically beasts were a thing before the ancients, holding the same soul jam as them, but for whatever reason they were corrupted and turned evil. I just haven’t gotten far enough in the story to find out why he turned evil. However!!!! I do know from playing through later episodes that Silent Salt does betray the rest of the beasts, who are trying to destroy the world btw, and sacrfices himself (?) to do so. I dunno. It was a very short snippet of a cutscene and im SO confused. He also has my two favorite costumes ever!!!!! I’m really excited to see where they take his story, especially with where they’re taking the third round of adventures in crispia.
For the next grouping, I do have to say that black pearl cookie is my favorite.
this is black pearl cookie in her costume sovereign abyss, her only good costume (imo). Her lore is pretty iffy for me, as I skipped through most of the story parts, but my current understanding is that she USED to be just pearl cookie, a mermaid who was captured and kept on a ship by pirates. The black pearl was a real pirate ship btw. She just happened to have a lot of her friends injured in trying to rescue her and so she began sinking ships, which everyone else hated, and so she was just realily isolated and a little traumatized, which let to her transformation into black pearl cookie. She is a legendary cookie, making her one of the sort of “elementals” or “pillars”. They are also being revamped with thses past few updates!!
Though this means nothing to you, the newest cookie run update introduces a NEW BEAST!!!! Which is a separate version of an existing beast, my second favorite, Burning Spice cookie. This is a version of him from an alternate timeline, where he blames mortality as the source of the worlds problems… like…. Like white lily….. like…… im SOOOO excited to play his episodes and find out more. Nobodys ready.
As of right now, I’ve logged over 255 hours on cookie run within a year, and if you also consider that I took a 2 month, then a 4 month, then a 3 month break at some point…. Yeah. That’s a lot of time I’ve spent on this game. And I have been playing every day. I really would love to deep dive on the cookie run lore, but that would mean that I have to rewatch everything, which is possible to do in the app!!!! But also that’s over ten hours of content. Just for the first story mode. That’s over ten hours. There are three story modes now.
I’m gonna do it.