Book Review: Artemis Fowl

*Spoiler warning*

This weeks book review I am doing the one and only story of Artemis Fowl. This, in particular, is a series but I am going to be talking about book one. The title, in general, is called Artemis Fowl because, naturally, that’s all you really need for this book. After you start the ride there really is nothing else to capture your attention but a name. A name that you surely will not forget for years to come as you take the journey with this twelve-year-old boy.

Artemis Fowl is a book by Eoin Colfer. The opening pages are almost a warning. It goes on and says that the book was a record kept by someone over the years about Artemis. It continues to say that all of the stories in here were true to some extent and that this is their very first instance where they are face to face with Artemis and will, later on, take many more journeys with the boy. Of course, if you’re young that already peaks your curiosity. How can a little boy, age 12, be so powerful and feared and have a record at such a young innocent age? That’s when the book really begins and with the “warning” under your belt, you dive head first into the life of Artemis Fowl. 

It opens up with a chase of sorts, Young Artemis is with his “Butler” a big man with years of special training, sworn to protect Artemis with his life. They are looking for something. we later find out that something is a faerie book. Now already this book is noted to be fantasy. But the way Colfer sets up the world I wouldn’t be surprised if we did see faeries and trolls flying around. Each character in this is crafted meticulous and all of them are stereotypical but also unique in the best ways. Now back tot he story. when Artemis receives this book we finally get a clue into his personality. Artemis is the villain. Which already took me for a spin. We would be following the villain around. But could we sympathize with him in the story? The answer is YES! Through all the horrible terrible things he has done, you constantly see the little things that he is, young, alone, and desperate. We find out that his mother is terribly ill, and that his father is missing (presumably dead) . Those two things are big plot points in later books but for this one, not really. Even as he meets Holly, his captive in the story you still have to side with the villain on some points. Artemis is not truly looking to hurt anyone he only does what is necessary to reach his goal, and what is his goal? Money, the whole plot is to capture a leprechaun to get the gold to restore his family fortune. Of course, he still is rich but why not get a little more? So to not spoil too much. This is a story about a boy getting ready to take the journey of his life. This book is almost a giant exposition leading up to the later ones. The plot is strong but really it is to look at his character and make your assumption about everyone else as well. It’s honestly a great read and if you love fantasy and adventure the rest of the series would be right up your alley. 

Lyrics like a Pair of Nikes.

The comfortable, wear-around-the-house (even though your mom says not to) kind of Nikes. Palisades Park, by Counting Crows-look them up or something, but you should know what Counting Crows is-anyway, this song they wrote is my absolute favorite, and has been for a long time now.

It’s honestly hard to groove to, or get into as the entire song is an experience, and takes ten minutes to listen to. I know what you’re thinking, ten minutes? 

Yes, ten minutes. The song, in my opinion, could’ve been two hours long, and if it carried the story out as well as it did in those ten, then it would still be my favorite.

I’m going to post the lyrics below, but you could never understand the magnitude of them without the music put with them:

Somebody screamed and all of Jim Jeffries dreams
Explode against a black fist
He falls to the floor
He stares up at the sky and he may wish he knew why
But he can’t go back there no more
Future sounds so crazy
We’ve all heard that song before
Tomorrow’s the name we change from yesterday to blame
When the train just don’t stop here anymore
I got starry-eyed on the coaster ride
Andy says “Man, I need a break from the world outside
These days my life just careens through a pinball machine
I could do so much better but I can’t get off the TILT”
There’s a photograph on the TV
Black and white and
Andy says something to you
Jack Johnson straddling Reno, Nevada like
She says “I forget myself sometimes too”
Out past the doorways where we are sleeping
The White Queens creep and the tomcats peep
And now I’m not breaking
The train’s just shaking
And I’ve never made it here before
There’s a Wild Mouse spinning the girls around
Til they can’t take it anymore
I used to dream in the dark of Palisades Park
Up over the cliffs and down among the sparks
It’s a long life full of long nights
But it’s not what I was waiting for
Everybody’s seen the horses diving down the shore
It’s a miracle they don’t make them anymore

 

So…”Make up ladies”…Wake up baby
You walked into the bar like some Saturday star
Stud-straight on spiked heels and needles and nerves
You’re a downtown pride fully-amplified Clyde
Gin-tight and aging but well-preserved

Remember Andy standing outside your bedroom window
Saying “Come on, let’s drive across to the Palisades
Keep going til we hit Reno, Nevada”
Don’t see Andy all that much these days
Still there are pages in back of the Action stacks
Where the White Queens creep and the tomcats peep
And the train’s not braking
The track’s just shaking
And I never made it here before
There’s a Sky Rocket turning the world around
Til I can’t take it anymore
You can carry that spark from Palisades Park
Down over the cliffs and out into the dark
It’s a long life full of long nights
And it’s not what I was looking for
Everybody dreams of horses flying ‘round the shore
It’s a bad dream we’re not having anymore
Man, have you seen Andy?
Hey man, have you seen her around?
Hey man, have you seen my my my Andy?
Hey man, have you seen her?
Have you seen him?
Have you seen her?
You seen Andy around?
Dressed up in our pirate best
All leathers and feathers and pearls
Andy said “Look at me man!
I am cookin’
These hands could finger up this whole world!”
He says “Come outside
Climb out your bedroom window
Shimmy down the fire escape
And say goodbye”
Come outside
Andy says “I’m dressed up just like Edie
Changing all the time
These leopard spots to polka dots
And say goodbye”
Come outside
Maybe we could move to California
Just meet me at the subway
And say goodbye
Come outside
The cops all think we’re crazy
But if you stay, you’ll just get married
To a girl who’ll never know you
And then say goodbye
Hey Man, have you seen Andy?
I lost her in the sun
I was high as a kite on Lovely & White
Man, you could lose anyone
Hey man, have you seen Andy
I don’t know where he’s gone
Real love outlives teenage lust
We could get wet and it keeps us warm
Love is like Angel Dust
Lovely sometimes changes us…sometimes not
Have you been aching to trust or just…?
Have you been waking yourself with lust…?
Have you been making us up or just taking us home?
It’s a long wait at a long light
Cars frozen in flight
All the traffic stops to stare
At a crosswalk in Reno, Nevada
Wearing nothing but air
And a pair of grey paper wings
Andy thinks “I got nothing to wear”
We got nothing new and…
We got nothing to wear…(2x)

In my perspective of the story, and after watching the video, I take away from this song the story of two young boys, living life in the 70/80’s, and just, completely blowing it, and coming to terms with their youth and their life not yet lived.

In the song, the story of Andy’s sexuality is explored, and in a way that moves with the music. Drugs, alcohol, and sex are also underlined themes in this song, and it really gives off a strange vibe for me every time I hear it.

The opening lines are a reference to boxer Jim Jeffries’ famous fight that happened in the seventies, and how he was knocked unconcious. I liked that this was the opening line, and that his blackout was further compared to life itself; a really clear picture  was painted through this.

My favorite lines are:

Man, you could lose anyone
Hey man, have you seen Andy
I don’t know where he’s gone
Real love outlives teenage lust
We could get wet and it keeps us warm
Love is like Angel Dust
Lovely sometimes changes us…sometimes not
Have you been aching to trust or just…?
Have you been waking yourself with lust…?
Have you been making us up or just taking us home?

I feel as though these lines really embodied what Adam Duritz (the guy in the band writing this incredible stuff) wanted to evoke from the song.

These lyrics were an exploration in discovering yourself, and falling in love with life and the things in it.

Palisades Park is an abandoned amusement park that used to operate in Reno, Nevada. This setting for the pieces encapsulates the idea of loss over time passing, not only of special places but of people, to many things that enter our life as we grow and change.

Anyway, love this song, and this band, and this idea. Really makes me want to be a lyricist and try to top this.

(Also, I do not care that this is 90’s dad-rock, it is still The Best Band and Music known to Man. Don’t knock it ’til you try it.)

“Cell” by Stephen King

Cell is a novel written by Stephen King, published in early 2006. The book is set inside of an apocalyptic world and follows a New England artist named Clayton Riddell in an attempt to reunite with his son and soon-to-be-ex-wife. At the beginning of the novel, a mysterious signal broadcast is aired over the global cell phone network and turns the majority of humankind into mindless, vicious animals.

Within the first part of the book, titled “The Pulse,” Clay stands behind three women (which he calls Pixie Light, Pixie Dark, and “the woman in the power suit”)  in line at an ice cream truck and sees them spiral out of control, as well as a man with his dog in the park near where he stands. Pixie Light holds a peppermint-colored cell phone, and Pixie Dark listens to the conversation going on as her friend holds the phone so they can both hear. The woman in the power suit is holding her phone to her ear and attempting to speak to a woman on the other end when suddenly, she pounces on the man inside of the truck and kills him. Then, Pixie Dark kills her, neither of them using a thing but their bare hands to do the deed. The friend, Pixie Dark, only catches a small portion of the broadcast and begins wandering the sidewalk, asking, “Who am I, who are you?” repeatedly running into a light post.

Clayton soon meets a man named Tom McCourt, who helps him with one of what they take to calling the “phone crazies” or “phoners” that comes after the two of them with a steak knife. The men soon make their way to the hotel Clay is staying in, where they find a young girl, named Alice Maxwell, hiding. Eventually, Clay convince Alice and Tom to let him venture on his trip to find his son, and they decide to go with him. The three catch disturbing hints about the activities of the phoners, who still attack non-phoners on sight.

They arrive at an academy with only one remaining teacher and just as many students. Jordan, the 12-year-old computer geek, and the teacher, Charles Ardai show the small group where the local phoner flock goes at night: they pack themselves into the Academy’s soccer field and “switch off” until morning. Together, they all assume that the phoners have become a hive mind and are developing psychic abilities and soon decide they must destroy the flock, and, using two propane tankers, they succeed in doing so.

That night, all of the survivors share the same horrific dream: each sees him- or herself in a stadium, surrounded by phoners, as a disheveled man wearing a Harvard University sweatshirt approaches, bringing their death. Waking, the heroes share their frightening dream experiences, dub him “the Raggedy Man,” and soon learn that he is the metaphorical spokesman of the flock.

(to be continued…)

Book Review: I’ll Give You the Sun

“I’ll Give You the Sun” by Jandy Nelson is one of my all-time favorite books. It is set in an upstate California town, narrated by two siblings, Noah and Jude. They are twins who see the world the same way at the beginning of the book, but as the book goes on, and they fall away from each other, their differences become more apparent. They both struggle with the same internal struggle of wanting to be their own independent people, despite being twins, and their story follows them through their stages of grief after losing their mom in a car accident. 

Noah, the ‘younger’ of the twins is narrating their younger years, and we follow him in his efforts to get into the local art high school. His narration is very close to being unreliable due to his exaggerated accounts of his surroundings. It is often hard to tell what is really happening and what is actually real. His narration was the polar opposite of his sister’s in his accounts of growing up. He made it very obvious that he had lost his mother, distanced himself from his father, and barely talked to his sister. As the book goes on, he uncovers his most prevalent internal and external struggles, revealing him being gay, and how he has to reevaluate who he hangs out with and how he has to act. While his mother is alive, he is somewhat comfortable in being the artsy, weird gay kid, but after she dies, he takes time completely rearrange how he lives. After Jude, his sister, sabotages his portfolio for the art school, and his mother dies,  he becomes the popular, athletic kid. It’s a very interesting way to see how different grief and self-loathing can affect characters. 

Jude, polar opposite of her brother, begins the book being a sunny and cool character. She is the typical rendition of surfer-popular-girl. She has the most friends and distances herself from her weird brother unless they’re hidden away at home. She hangs out with guys older than her and goes to too many parties. She grew up being closer to her father, but striving to gain her mom’s approval. Her narration starts as soon as her mother dies, and the total shift in her character is even more extreme than her brother’s. She begins to totally isolate herself, wearing baggy clothes in hopes that boys will not notice her, and talking to her dead grandmother’s ghost. Because of Noah meddling with her portfolio, she gets into the art school, but is close to flunking out because she thinks her mother’s angry spirit is breaking her sculptures. Through much personal growth and revealing secrets about her mother and herself, she eventually realizes that she is not cursed and the whole family finally reunite again. 

I love this book for so many reasons, but the main one is the beautiful way Nelson captures the process of grief. I was recommended this book in a very hard time after I lost a loved one, and reading it was very refreshing. I stand by it being my favorite book, telling anyone I see that they should definitely give it a read. 

The Ancient Magus’ Bride Vol.1 (Beware! Spoilers Ahead!)

The Ancient Magus’ Bride is a 10 volume manga series written by Kore Yamazaki. The series follows the adventures of Chise Hatori, an orphan sleigh buggy, and her fiance and mentor, Elias Ainsworth.

Volume 1 is jam-packed with content. But the most significant portions in my opinion would include Chise’s run in with the fairies, the couple’s visit with Angelica, and the ending scenes that ultimately lead to the next volume.

Of course, there are many things that happen in this volume that are significant to the story as a whole, like her visit with Lindel and his dragons (more specifially Nevin). But I find these scenes to be more filler content and explanatory than anything else.

From the start, everything is fast paced and it gives very little direct information about how it is Chise was sold into slavery. Of course, there are bits and pieces we get from her memory that give us slight hints as to how her home life negatively affected her.

The first we really hear of Chise’s family starts with the fairies. Ultimately, we learn that after he mother’s death, she was passed around from family member to family member until she willingly gave herself up for auction. This lack of family and love makes her susceptible to the fairies’ somewhat sinister plans. However, it is this same sentiment that makes her deny the fairies.

After this encounter, Elias takes Chise into the city where they meet with an old friend of his. In true manga form, Angelica, an artificer mage, has a small breakdown upon learning of the couple’s engagement. She throws Elias out of her shop and begins to shed light upon the more magical aspects of the world Chise has found herself thrust into.

Here we learn about difference in Alchemy and Magic. Angelica, not knowing of Chise’s sleigh buggy status, has Chise try out some magic. This of course goes wrong and Elias has to step in before the entire shop is turned into a crystal poppy field. This is where we learn what a sleigh buggy is.

Skip to the end of Chapter 5, we find Chise at the beginning of a purification spell. This of course seems dumb considering how inexperienced she is. If you think back to her first try at magic by which she almost destroyed Angelica’s shop, you’d agree that she should not be performing magic at this time.

Elias says that his powers are more aligned with the darker side of nature. Personally, I feel this excuse was not worth the problems that would have definitely arrived with Chise doing somewhat complicated spell work.

But of course, right as she is separated from Elias and beginning her spell, Renfred and apprentice capture her. Now, this being the first volume of the series, there was no way we could have expected Yamazaki to not leave us hanging.

Overall, if you like fantasical magic, inhuman creatures, narcissistic alchemist, and cliff hangers, this is most definitely the manga for you.

Tune in next month for The Ancient Magus’ Bride Vol. 2.

Surf’s Up by The Beach Boys – Lyrical Review

Surf’s Up is a very strange album for The Beach Boys.  It came at a time when Brian Wilson was not in a good place.  This led to the rest of the band writing more than on many previous albums.  This yielded some very interesting lyrics to say the least.

“Don’t Go Near the Water”

“Don’t Go Near the Water” is lyrically quite unlike most everything that came before for The Beach Boys, even after such varied albums as Friends, 20/20, and Smiley Smile.  In fact, it seems to have been intentionally written to contrast with many of their early songs about summer, surf, and sun.  The lyrics additionally show an attempted greater consciousness of societal issues which is a common thread throughout the album; this specific song deals with water pollution.  Unfortunately, the song does not do much artistically with this theme which leaves it to feel more like an afterschool PSA than an artistic statement.  A specifically interesting line is, “toothpaste and soap will make our oceans a bubble bath.”  This line in particular stands out as more ridiculous than the rest.  While it seems like it could be a reference to microbeads, this controversy did not arise until recent years and would not have been known in 1971 when the album was released.  Instead, this line reveals that the song was written without much research done into the subject.  This like a number of other lines seems to reveal that the writers were not taking the subject very seriously, and an audience cannot be expected to take something seriously if its creator cannot.

4/10

“Long Promised Road”

The second track on the album, “Long Promised Road,” feels like a much more genuine effort lyrically than the first.  It too deviates from the expectations set for The Beach Boys by their early work, but it does so in a way that seems more for the sake of the song itself and not simply for the sake of doing so as the case seemed to be in “Don’t Go Near the Water.”  The lyrics are sung from the point of view of a person who desperately wants to be happy but is weighed down by the troubles that surround him.  Though he acknowledges the difficulty, he is able to overcome his personal troubles and not allow them to affect his well-being.  The song has a strong sense of optimism about it that feels very honest.  Unlike the early, happy songs from The Beach Boys, this song’s lyrics feel much more mature.  They acknowledge problems, and happiness prevails despite them.  There are moments in the song that seem somewhat over-embellished and clunkily worded such as the lines, “So hard to lift the jewelled sceptre When the weight turns a smile to a frown So hard to drink of passion nectar When the taste of life’s holding me down.”  These lines carry meaning, but they feel as if they’re trying to be something more than they should be.  The metaphors used feel somewhat melodramatic and end up making the lyrics more difficult to relate to.  Overall, the song is not a bad one despite its flaws.  Unlike the song’s protagonist, however, these troubles do weigh it down.

7/10

A Million Little Pieces

James Frey produced one of the best nonfiction novels I have found so far. That is, until I did more research within this week and discovered that some of the accounts in the book are entirely untrue.

James Frey, author of A Million Little Pieces, wrote about his account in a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center over the course of six weeks. In this account, he is found on a plane with no memory of how he got there, along with a gaping whole through his cheek and missing teeth. The story continues with his parents picking him up and driving him to the center in Minnesota, claiming to be the best in the US. He is confronted with many obstacles within the center, such as “being treated for a dental surgery with no painkillers” that was later found to be untrue. His story that unfolds within the treatment center is also slanted to heighten the intensity of his account, and it is not actually known whether or not his former girlfriend for whom he is in his situation for actually committed suicide.

James Frey had a beautiful way of capturing the audiences with certain subtleties within this piece. His underlying theme dealing with not being able to look himself in the eyes really drove me to continue on the journey through his rehabilitation. Also, his need and action was strong within every line and phrase. Frey created a quick-paced world in which to live in, one that felt to me as if he were spending his whole life looking out of a car window.

Frey’s theme of eyes continues with his love interest and friend that was also in rehabilitation at the time. He calls her eyes oceans and ice and many other cold blue analogies, and says they pierce him when he sees her.

My favorite idea within this piece was that of Frey’s commitment to everything he did. He was lower at the beginning of the book than I believed possible, and he is a bestseller now. The last few chapters of the book talk of him, immediately leaving rehab, going inside of a bar and ordering a type of hard liquor, then just looking at it. He never drinks it, and walks out of the bar a man with a decision that changed his life for the better.

Frey inspired me in this piece, whether embellished or not, to commit to things that are good for me, and to not apologize for the work that it takes to get to a good place in life. He is a very influential person to me because of this piece, I only wish he had kept the story entirely authentic.

(I very much so recommend reading A Million Little Pieces.)

mosquitoland

the very first words readers ever see in this book are, “my name is mary iris malone, and i am not okay.” that’s it; that’s the first chapter. all you really know about the main character is her name, and you’re left wondering why she isn’t okay. of course, author david arnold is quick to provide the background and leap straight into the beef of her adventure. mary iris malone (mim) is not okay, and she’s trekking herself from jackson, mississippi back to her hometown in ohio to find her mom.

from the get-go, 16-year-old mim is sure of herself and her convictions. she despises her stepmother and father for hiding her birth mother’s illness from her and making her family move away, and she’s convinced that running away and going back to her mother will make everything okay again. her confidence makes readers trust her, because what does she have to lose? why would mim fabricate a story for herself just to ride a greyhound bus from mississippi to ohio?

readers receive real-time, first-person accounts of her journey to her mother. this is where her convictions start to become a little… fishy. it becomes very easy to get enveloped in the world of mim, which makes it difficult to pull away from it and ask, “why?” the extravagance of her tale and the strength of her emotions almost make mim’s story feel unbelievable. but she’s our protagonist, our heroine, so we want to believe mim. we want to understand her truth as nothing less than the truth.she’s weird and she’s endearing and we can’t help but love her, despite the little red flags telling us to proceed with caution.

as we learn more and more about mim, we also learned that she knows less and less of what she’s doing. readers experience her world and her plans completely unravel around her; everything she thought she knew was a lie, and we want to stick by her as she grapples with this new reality. and by the end of it all, we learn that mim’s convictions weren’t all she led readers to believe – or even what she herself believed. but we feel for her, and we want her story to end happily.

life throws mim curveball after curveball, and she deals with them by manipulating them into something manageable until making them easier to swallow isn’t possible anymore. they solidify into her reality with the grounding words: “a thing’s not a thing until you say it out loud.” she learns that in order to recognize the truths of her life and change her life for the better, she must first acknowledge the existence of such truths. this is of course an important lesson for all of us, the acknowledgement that it really is okay not to be okay.

david arnold’s mosquitoland is definitely a book to remember, from the idiosyncratic characterization its protagonist to the absolutely whirlwind plot to the lessons on humanity that never quite leave you. mary iris malone is not okay, and she doesn’t have to be. she just has to say it out loud.

Book Review: Dispatches From Pluto

Dispatches From Pluto is a non-fiction novel written by Richard Grant. It takes place in the Mississippi Delta after Grant and his girlfriend Mariah move to Pluto from New York. Grant was previously a travel journalist and spent time in many other countries, bringing him into contact with many different types of people. He decides to move himself and Mariah to Pluto after a single trip to visit a writer friend turns into him buying an old plantation home and the acres surrounding it in the heart of the Delta. Grant spends the book taking time to delve into the heart of the spirit of the South. Most of the book focuses on the racial tension still prevalent in the South and its hold over politics, the education system and regular day-to-day life. He makes friends ranging from a metal scrapper to Morgan Freeman himself, battling the wildlife and terrain of a new and often-times harsh landscape. 

I have to admit, I was fairly skeptical of reading Dispatches From Pluto when it was referred to me. For one, I don’t normally read nonfiction, but I have wanted to get more into real-life reading as I get older, and I figured this would be the perfect book to start. Another thing I was worried about was the nature of the author before I started reading; I was worried it would be narrated by a typical middle-aged white man thinking he knew more about things than he actually did, but I have to say, I was more than pleasantly surprised. 

I was ensnared by the beautiful writing to begin. Grant had a way with his descriptions that made it easy to understand the complicated background of Mississippi politics and life, even for someone who lives here. His words were causal and sincere in the way he wrote, taking great care to include even the most basics of interactions he had with the locals to show the reader the broad spectrum of people that preside in the South and in the Delta. 

For me, it was nice to read something about home that was not all bad. Of course, he made sure to include the semi-rampant racism and sexist behavior that runs deep through the South, but Grant also included his account of the people that make the phrase “southern hospitality” believable. 

Through his writing, Grant paints a picture of the South that ensures to capture the reader, and hold their attention, all while painting the picture of the South that I believe would have anyone falling slightly in love with Mississippi, as I believe he wanted. 

(I highly recommend this book!!)

Half Book Review: “You” Pt.1

You is a book by Caroline Kepnes. This book takes you on the day to day life of a bookstore worker named, Joe Goldberg and his new crush Guinevere Beck. But this isn’t just your typical love story. Joe Godberg is what anyone would call a stalker. The second Beck walks through his bookstore doors he becomes instantly infatuated with the women, and this is where he begins to make his plans to make her his and only his, and his first rule of thumb is to get rid of anyone who stands in his way. Of course, not everthing goes as planned and he has to jump through a lot of hoops to win her over. Not only does he kill her ex-lover to stop her for falling for him again, but he also tries to get rid of Beck’s friend named “Peaches” an African-American rich girl who has also found a almost obsessive fondness for Beck. All the while he tried to justify his action by naming her the stalker and reasoning with himself that he is only doing it for her protection. But between stealing her phone and watching her every move, he starts to realize Beck wasnt all he had built her up to be. He soon finds out that she’s obbsessed with attention and loves to date anyone and everyone who giver ber attention. He also learns that she is a compulisve lair and had been hiding with a major secret for half of her life. With this information his “love” for her only grows. And his simple affectiom starts to take a more demandong tone as he gets her into his grips, and that’s only half the book.