Author: Stephyne Weathersby

Today is October 2, 2019, the time has finally come. The time for spooky season  😈 

I am so excited for Halloween this year, I mean, usually I always am; but this year especially. I feel like I always have high hopes for Halloween. I imagine my friends and I get dressed up as Bring it On characters and going to the hunted house. However, my Halloween always goes like this: I get dressed in all black to go to school and when the school day was over I would go home. Usually, later on, that night I will watch America Horror Story. Sounds sad yes I know, but this year will NOT be like the rest. This year will fulfill all my spooky desires especially because I’m in Artoberfest and the haunted house is on Halloween night. The whole day is just going to be a great spooky-spooky vibe.

So to keep tradition I have an October playlist for your listening desires!

Although this playlist is titled “Spooky Playlist” no songs on here have any demonic saying or message. However, most of the songs are pleasing to hear and I recommend listening to all the songs with headphones and full volume.

Personal opinion about some of the songs

The first song to be featured on the playlist is Nani’s Interlude by Raveena. I came upon this song by coincidence. I was listening to a radio playlist and when this song started I was like hold up- run this back. The peaceful melody that plays behind the narrator’s voice (which I assume is Nani) is so beautiful. I recommend listening to this song when you are writing it could maybe inspire some ideas.

The second song is Stand Still by Sabrina Claudio. I knew of Sabrina Claudio from her song Confidently Lost (which I also recommend). She has this certain sound with her music that is so beautiful, it’s like when you listen to this song you are automatically at peace. It is truly a magical experience also I recommend listening to this song when you are in your feelings.

The next song is Lay me down by Steve Lacy and let me tell you guys something I can write a whole blog post and playlist solely on Steve Lacy. That is how much I love him so dearly he is such a talented individual. Lay me down has an old school/ prince/ blues vibe if that makes any sense. I promise if you listen to the song you will completely understand me.

The last song I will be reviewing is Warm Winds by SZA featuring Isaiah Rashad. Just how I stated with Steve Lacy on how I can write a whole blog post and create a playlist. I can do the same with SZA, her music is transforming when you experience it. Her voice is very unique and has a sound that none else can ever intimate and with Warm Winds that exactly what she does. In the first part of the song, she sings as she is speaking to you and everyone else in the world. Including the last part, it’s a whole beat switch that she and Isaiah harmonize on gorgeously. I also recommend listening to this song full volume and while writing.

I’m sure we all have had our fair share with toxic relationships whether it’s  platonic or romantic. And we of course all had the desperate feeling of wanting to remove our self from the situation, but for some odd reason that I can’t make of- we stay.

We continue to re-enter ourselves in toxic relationships and the only thing that you are doing is deteriorating your own energy. I know it might feel that the person or even people love us and want the best for us. So we stay in the relationship despite all the signs that your body is telling you to get away.

  I’m going to say this and I want you to really take this to heart: Stop ignoring you body, stop ignoring you soul, stop ignoring your mental health, and cut them off.

  If they’re  not doing anything in your life to help your grow into the person you want to be. Cut them off. If every time you talk to them and their energy does not match the energy they are giving them. Cut them off.  If they make you feel bad about how you look or yourself. Cut them off.  If they continue to say harsh things to you after you told them you don’t approve. Sweetie, please cut them off.

I know it might seem harsh and you probably don’t want people to see you as a mean person, but in all honestly stop caring about what people think about you. Start putting yourself first. Learn your self worth and begin putting your self up on pedestal so high that you can’t even see the top of your head. I know that might seem dramatic or extra but I promise you it is. However, it is needed. You deserve friends that appreciate what you have to say. You deserve a significant other that listens to you when you talk and wants to hear more. You deserve people in your life to know your self worth and to respect you.

If you are now thinking about the people in your life and trying to decide if they are right for you. Here are some signs of toxic people.

• If they are manipulative.
• Judgmental about everything you do.
• They give backhanded compliments.
• They have no respect for boundaries.
• If they make you feel guilty.
• If you feel overlooked in their presence.

I know this may all sound like too much, and you maybe feel like you will be alone if you do cut off all your toxic relationships. However, believe me when I say this it is better to be alone than feel alone in a group of people that are supposed to be your friends.

If you see me now it may be hard for you to believe that I was ever self conscious about my hair, oh but believe me I was indeed.  I did my big chop¹ in the summer of June 2017 after ten months of transitioning². I felt like this was a fitting time because this was the summer before high school, it was time for a fresh start. So, I told my mother that I was ready. She got the scissors and she got-to-cutting. I looked in the mirror when she was finished and my first reaction was ‘What the heck?’ I mean I could not believe what I had done, it was so much shorter than I though it would be. My mother left some of my straight ends in the front of my hair because she said it needed balance. That didn’t make sense to me, but hey, she is the professional hairstylist so I just went with it.

Here are some pictures of my hair when I was transitioning to my big chop.

 

 

    That whole summer I was really dedicated to my natural hair and focus on how I it could grow and prosper. I went through numerous natural hair products, and when I say numerous I mean TOO  MANY and lord when I tell you it broke my bank ( really my mothers bank). See this is what they don’t tell you about being natural in all the you tube videos that you binge watch as you contemplate about cutting your hair. They don’t tell you how expensive all the good products are. I mean sure it’s some five dollars and below products that you can buy, however if you want that good-good, so good that you will see growth in under the month. All them products are expensive as heck. But of course I gave in, I wanted the luxurious all natural hair.  It took me a while to find my hair texture which mainly 4B with some 4C mixed within. Which the hardest to maintain and on top of most natural products don’t cater to thick and coiled hair. I was very overwhelmed with the different types and styles. It was so much information that I could learn about my hair. I guess you can say that’s the beauty of black hair.

    After I cut my hair, I saw growth in almost on two months! My hair was doing great! With the help of protective styles³ and Jamaican black castor oil my hair was out of the TWA stage quick.

Here are some pictures within the first year of cutting my hair. You can see the protective styles I experimented with.

I remember the first time I ever wore my natural fro out to school. I was still in the TWA ( teeny weeny fro) stage. The time prior all I ever did was stretch my hair into a high puff which I didn’t have enough hair to do. I was feeling so anxious about what people would say. I felt secured with my high puff, wearing my hair down exposed my insecurities. On the contrary on that school day the responses I got were unexpected. Everyone seem to love my hair, so why couldn’t I? It was then when I realize that I focus too much on what people cared about. My natural hair is something that I should be proud of. Instead of using it to hide my features I should use to embrace my beauty.

It has been two years since I big chopped and my hair has been doing tremendously well. It surpass all my expectations for it to be only a couple of years. Although I continue to get compliments about my hair that is not the reason I love it so much.  My hair is representation on how I developed over these years. For all my natural girls,  who either just cut their hair or have had natural all their lives… I know it can be too much work and sometimes you feel like you want to cut it all off. (Trust me, I’ve been there.) I just want you know that your beauty extends outside of your hair and even though it might be tough now, keep going and see how it turns out. And if you still want to cut all your hair… “Britney Spears- style”… go for it!

Below are some recent pictures of my hair from this year.

 

 

 

Glossary

Big Chop¹- The act of taking your natural hair journey from transitioning to officially  natural in a matter of minutes. Usually by cutting off large sections.

Transitioning²- The process of growing out your natural hair before cutting of damage or chemical ends.

Protective Styles³-  A style that protects your ends and your hair overall by protecting it from sun exposure, heat and constant manipulation. Most common protective style are braids.

 

The birds in the tree

see more things that I could ever see

I wonder what it feels like to be

that free?

They see me when I walk,

they see me when I smile

and they see me when I cry.

The birds in the tree know

more about me, than I do myself.

They sing to me in song

I sing to them back.

I hear their dances, cripples, and acts

the birds in the tree are all about me

as I am about them.

They listen when I talk, and pay attention when I don’t.

The birds in the tree are just like me

the strut in our walk

our hide in the trees.

Can’t get too close or we will

fly in the breeze.

When I was at my old school my bus stop was at the entrance of my neighborhood and this irritated me the most. It was ether too hot or too cold and even imagine having to walk on crutches. Let’s just say this was not the highlight of my day. However, there is a patch of woods right before you turn into my house. As I walked below the trees I would look above me and see the sunlight shining through the cracks, and also I would hear the birds in the tree singing.

A little background about me; I have always felt a connection towards birds and I have no idea why. Maybe because they are beautiful and so unique just like me 😛 . Nah i’m just playing but honestly no matter how odd this may sound, I have always felt like the birds and I were communicating in some way. I feel like that when i’m around all types of nature. The sounds the insects and animals make it’s as almost of their telling their own personal story. Just like me when I write, I always want to feel like I’m telling a story no matter if there been from my experiences or simple from my mind.

I wrote this poem on a  day when I was feeling really inspired by the birds that surrounds my house. I wanted to observe the birds like they were a person themselves; so I had to put myself in their shoes or shall I say talons 😀 . Unexpectedly, by putting myself in their position I found a lot of similarities between me and birds or the connection I feel with birds. It’s been almost five months since I wrote “The Birds in the Tree” and I still feel the same way.

It’s time for round two for the playlist of the month! September has just started, so you know I got you. The songs featured are not new songs I found this more like songs for the fall vibe. With that being said I hope you enjoy!

 

I’m in a constant state of movement. I rarely find time to just relax. To just lay down on my bed, eat a bunch of junk food, and watch Netflix. Even on the weekends, my time is occupied with school work. I mean hard and a lot of work isn’t the problem, I’m used to that part. But the part I’m not used to is the feeling of not having enough time to actually do the work. So my usual relax time is erase and my work time takes over. I mean I don’t even have the feeling of satisfaction when I finish my task because I have more assignments to do the next day.

Being here changed everything about my schedule, although I seem to believe that have a quite alright schedule work out. I have to remember to incorporate self-care in my schedule because that’s what’s important. Without self-care, your self-esteem becomes vulnerable for anyone to damage. Having strong self-esteem is the base of who you are and how other people see you. Self-love is something I’m learning and trying to incorporate into my daily routine.

For now on I’m going to revamp my schedule to add self-care into it. I’m hoping being here is helping me grow into a better self. However, I just have to remember what’s important is my mental health.

 

 

I have always been a lover of music, it just speaks to me no matter what kind of mood I am in. So I thought it would be interesting if I created this new segment on my blog called playlist of the month. It will consist of multiple songs from all types of genres that I felt connected to in that month. That being said, here is the playlist of the month for August 2019.

This playlist includes different types of genres ranging from late 50s Doo-wop with “I Only Have Eyes for You” by The Flamingos, to modern pop with Normani’s latest single “Motivation.” With a rewind to the 70s with Donny Hathaway’s “A Song for You” and many more varieties. I hope you all enjoy this August playlist and look forward to many more to come.

August 4th, 2003 was indeed a good day…one might even say, a magical day. Why? Because it’s my birthday!

Fast forward 15 years: July 27, 2019. This was the actual day I celebrated my 16th birthday because I would leave for school on my birthday weekend.
For my 16th, I decided to have a game and a movie night outside in my backyard. This idea originally sounded fun to me because I always wanted to go to a drive-in movie. What would be even better would be a drive-in movie and my friends all in my backyard.

So on the day of the event, I woke up early in the morning and went to get my nails done. My makeup appointment followed that. I went for a soft- glow-glam-look with gold glitter eyes. I proceeded to go home and get dressed in my birthday attire. For my outfit, I had a white crop blouse with ruffled ends and high waisted bell bottom jeans both from Forever 21. I paired it with a pair of leopard open toe heels. All I can say is…your girl was looking bomb!

Shortly some of my friends arrive and we went to take pictures at the Renaissance Mall.

Around 7 o’clock the party started so we made our way back to my house. As I opened the front door of my house to find rose gold and white decor including balloons in all quarters of the living room. A huge birthday banner across the dining room wall with a sweet table below it including chocolate covered Rice Krispies, Oreos, pretzels, and a light pinked flowered icing cake to top it all off.

The rest of the party soon arrived with great smiles we played games like Jenga, Bummer Ball, dice, etc. Later, we ate, danced to some bops, and shared some laughs while watching Scary Movie 2 on a projector outside.

Before I knew it, it was 11 o clock and it was time to say goodbye to my friends. Of course, this was emotional considering I it would be a while until I saw most of them. I tried to stay strong and hold back my tears, but I couldn’t. My tears weren’t all sad. It was a mixture between missing these dear people and being hopeful that I will see them again soon.

Nonetheless, the party was a success and had good energy throughout the whole event. I was happy that I got to enter my 16th year with the ones I love.