Author: Stephyne Weathersby

Here we are time for the second blog post for the year! For this blog post I have decided to answer ten questions about myself. So, you all can to get to know me better. Without further ado, let’s get started!

1. List 5 things that make you instantly happy.                                                                  1. My family. 2. My Friends. 3. When I accomplish my goals. 4. My dog Bella (even though she is so bad).  5. When I write about something that has been pressing me, and after I feel so relieved that’s it’s off my chest. 
2. If you were going to write a book, what would it be about?                                      If  I were to write a book, one of my ideas would be to write about mass incarceration.
3. If you could be anywhere in the world right this very moment, where would you be?                                                                                                                                 If I were to be anywhere in the world right in this very moment, I would definitely be in Paris.
4. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?                       When I was a kid I wanted to be multiple things. It changed constantly but one thing I stuck with for a while was becoming a neonatologist. 
5. Have you ever danced in the rain?                                                                                       No ma’am, I have never danced in the rain. My immune system was never strong enough. I get sick so easily and my recovery time extends all the way to two months.
6. What’s your perfect pizza?                                                                                                       My perfect pizza would be a large chicken, pepperoni, and bacon pizza from Domino’s. Don’t @ me but Domino’s is the best pizza parlor especially when it’s fresh and hot.
7. Ugly and live forever or attractive and die young?                                                        This is a hard question to answer because I’m stuck between if I want to live forever, or if I want to die young. Honestly, I could care less about being attractive or not because as long as love myself that’s all that matters. 
8. You discover that your awesome one-year-old child is not yours because of a mix-up at the hospital. Would you want to exchange the child to correct the mistake?                                                                                                                   I would keep my awesome one-year-old child and I would also get my other baby. Why not? The more the merrier, that’s if the parents of the child can agree. 
9. If you could only have one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?     If I could only have one meal for the rest of my life. I would have: seafood pasta, garlic bread, bake beans, ribs, and broccoli. The question never said they had to go together. lol
10. What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleep?                                                             I don’t know the exact answer to this question, but I would say no longer than 24 hrs. I love sleep and I’m not myself when I don’t have enough.
11. Celebrity crush?                                                                                                                             Now this is a hard question for me, because I have three celebrity crushes. I feel like it would be disrespectful for me to chose only one, so I will let you all decide:                                                                                                                                                                 

    

    

    

Once upon a time in a far distant life, I used to be a cheerleader. My fascination with cheerleading started when I was just a little girl. I would say watching the movie Bring it On and seeing Gabrielle Union portraying a fierce, beautiful African American cheerleader. It made me believe that cheerleading was everything and that if I was a cheerleader, I could be beautiful as well.

I remember one morning my mother called my siblings and me to her bedroom, and asked us if we wanted to play soccer for the local little league. My brother and sister were ecstatic and immediately said yes to her offer. However, I, on the other hand, could have cared less about playing soccer. My heart was set on cheerleading, so I asked my mother, “Do they have cheerleading, Ma?” In my sweet little five-year-old voice and my mother look me dead in my face and said, “Yeah, they do. I will sign you up.” Now I’m as happy as a poor man with a bag of gold. I’m telling y’all, I was looking up cheers on YouTube getting ready for the first day of practice. I thought I was finally going to live out my dreams.

A couple of weeks go by and the first day of practice was finally here. We pulled into the stadium and all I see are soccer fields, soccer goals, and soccer players. I’m thinking… “where the heck the cheerleaders at?” I asked my mother, “Ma where am I’m going to cheer at? I only see soccer goals.” My mother turned around and told me, “Oh, Step, I forgot to tell you that they don’t have cheer. So, you are just going to play soccer like your brother and sister.” Y’all. When she said that, I swore I knew at five years old what heartbreak felt like. I immediately started crying, I had no interest in playing soccer. Yet my mother did not care. She said I was playing soccer, or I wasn’t playing any sport. I knew then when she said that, not playing a sport was not an option in this family. I sucked up my tears up and played soccer consistently for about three years, and during that time, my soccer skills increased. I became a fast runner and a good kicker; however, my love for soccer did not grow.

Then the day came, it was like God answered my prayers. At the age of eight, I started cheering for another local little league and I fell in love…with cheerleading. I felt so happy at practice while learning cheers and dances. I especially felt elated on game day when I wore my cute little uniform. Being gregarious with the audience while dancing and cheering. I truly loved it and so I took a pause on playing soccer, and I continued to cheer for about six years until I was in eighth grade.

At the middle school I attended, when you reached the eighth grade you were eligible to play soccer for the high school. Now, did I want to play soccer? No. Did I have a choice? Again, no. You see, my sister excelled at soccer; she was a very talented goalie. Her senior year, my mother made me try out for the high school team so she could see her girls play together. Looking back at it…playing on the same team as my sister bonded us. However, at the time, I could care less about playing soccer in high school. I was focused on cheering my last year of middle school and hopefully making the high school cheer team. Nevertheless, I tried out and made it onto the high school soccer team. I was playing soccer and cheering at the same time for two different schools. (Can you say tired?) It wasn’t a bad experience entirely, and I can honestly say I benefited playing soccer with older girls. But I did not want to continue playing soccer when I got to high school. I wanted to continue cheering, but we all know fate sees things differently.

It was soon time for high school cheer tryouts, and for those who don’t know. There is a cheer clinic a week before you try out so you can be taught the material you need to know to compete for a spot. On a Tuesday evening at school, the bell just rung to signal the end of the day. I got out of my seat and bent down to grab my cheer bag. Suddenly, I felt my kneecap slide and pop. I immediately lost control of my body and slid horizontally into my desk chair. I couldn’t feel the bottom half of my body, and when I tried to get up, I fell. The nurses came and assisted me up, and I guess they thought I was just playing when they told me to walk on it. Now, I will admit I wasn’t trying to take my injury serious when cheer tryouts were just right around the corner. So, despite my nagging pain I still went to the cheer clinic. While practicing my toe touches, I noticed that my jumps weren’t as high, and my knee was restricting me. Nevertheless, I didn’t stop jumping and the pain kept increasing. The cheer coach saw me in pain, and she instructed me to sit down; I did.

Later, that night was my soccer banquet, but I was experiencing so much discomfort I was unable to attend. My mother and siblings still went because my sister was getting awarded that night. I went to bed and propped my knee up with a pillow and went to sleep hoping that the pain would just disappear. Until I was awoken out of my sleep by my pounding knee. I look down to see my knee as big as a basketball. (Okay, I’m being dramatic, but it was incredibly swollen.) The pain was unbearable, and I was balling my eyes out. I called my mother and she took me to the emergency room as soon as she got home. The doctors informed me that my knee was dislocated. My mouth drops to the floor, I knew with a dislocated knee that was not a chance in me trying out for the cheer team.

Even though my knee was dislocated, and I had to walk on crutches, something inside me was still determined to try out for cheer. I asked the doctor would that still be possible, and he told me it was extremely unlikely with tryouts being a week away. I was distraught and couldn’t believe that this was happening to me. The doctor knew that I desperately wanted to try out and he gave me hope by saying, “Listen to this Stephyne, your knee might be in a better condition if you attend physical therapy.” I asked him suspiciously, “So, I will be able to try out next week?” He looks at me and says doubtfully, “It is possible, but it’s highly unlikely.” That was all I needed to fuel my ambition. Before I knew it, I started physical therapy the next day and continued to go to the cheer clinic. So, I can still be learning even though I wasn’t able to walk on my own.

The day for tryouts came and my knee was feeling better, and I was off my crutches. Yet my knee wasn’t healed completely, and I still had months of physical therapy to complete. I was still able to cheer and dance, but I could not do any jumps. I gave my all to cheer tryouts and my best effort. I wanted it so bad and left tryouts feeling confident that I did my best. It was all in God’s hands now.

It only took the judges and coaches a day to determine the roster for the new cheer team. When I found out the new list had been posted on the website. I rushed to see the results; my hands were trembling. When the page loaded, I scroll to the bottom of the list and my heart dropped. I didn’t see my name; therefore, I didn’t make the cheer team.

I remember on that night when I found out, a smile didn’t cross my face, and I’m going to be honest, yes, I did cry myself to sleep. I was so upset and disappointed in myself. I had all these dreams and fantasies about being a high school cheerleader; I felt like it was just taken from me. When, it just wasn’t meant for me and it took me a while to understand that.

Sometimes, in life, I can want things so badly. I will claim it as mine and when I don’t achieve it, I get disappointed in myself. I had to realize what is meant for me is for me. I learned to let go of trying to control my life and let God lead the way.

For my ninth and tenth grade year of high school, I continued to play soccer. I decided to give my best that I could, and with that, my love for soccer grew. I also made some friends that I hope are with me for the rest of my life. Do you guys want to know something funny? You remember the first little league cheer team I was on? I also had the amazing opportunity to be the head cheer coach for two years. The whole experience was amazing, and I was taught valuable life lessons working with children. It was like I saw my younger self in every one of the girls. Sadly, I had to stop coaching and playing soccer when I came to MSA, but like I said, everything happens for a reason. Even though I miss my girls and friends dearly I know that me coming here is happening for a reason. I know that God has my best interest at heart so I will continue to gladly follow his lead.

Looking back on it now, I am grateful that I didn’t make the cheer team. Because I know that if I did, I wouldn’t be where I am now, nor the person I am now. So, I told this story to say this, don’t ponder over something you didn’t achieve; just have faith that something better and bigger is coming into your life!

P.S. Just maybe my mother does know what is best for me. lol 😀

 

 

Here we are, we have reached my final blog post for the year 2019. Wow, this semester has gone by so fast and all I can say is that I’m grateful for my experience here at MSA. I have met wonderful people and experienced so many wonderful things it is so amazing, looking back on how far I’ve come!

So at the beginning of the semester, I started this segment on my blog called, “Playlist of the Month”. This is where I create a playlist of music inspired by how I feel during that time. Now I’m not going to tell a story, I have been slacking recently, but that only means I have more music to share with you guys! So without further, a do here is my final playlist of 2019!

For some reason, I have a taste for old school music for the past months, and when I say old school, I mean the music you hear at your family reunion lol. This is so funny to me because I grew up not liking old school music because I always thought it was boring. Now since I’m older and I have lived  more, I have a better understanding of what the singers are talking about.

So, in the playlist are a lot of old school artists from different decades. Such as Nina Simone, Ms. Lauryn Hill, Erykah Badu, Fleetwood Mac, and even J. Blackfoot. I encourage you all to give the songs I listen, and who knows maybe you might find you a new favorite song.

MUSIC VIDEOS ARE IMPORTANT TOO!

You see, let me tell you something about myself. As much as I love music, I also love music videos. I know you guys understand what I’m talking about. When you see a great, cinematic music video to your favorite song. It grows your love for the song even more and the next thing you know, you have watched the video 50 times already. (Yes I am talking about myself). Anyways here are some of my favorite music videos in general.

JAY-Z – Moonlight

Blood Orange – Jewelry

SZA- Babylon

Snoh Aalegra- I Want You Around

Beyoncé – Sandcastles

Beyoncé – Hold Up

Steve Lacy- RYD/ DARK RED

Solange – When I Get Home

Now, this might be the longest playlist I have ever created, and it’s still a lot more songs I would like to include. Although, I cannot because they are explicit; however, if you would like to listen to the songs you can follow me on Spotify @Stephyne Weathersby :-).

With that being said, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! HO, HO, HO.  (Is Stephyne the real Santa Clause? The world may never know!)

Sometimes other people can create a whole different identity about you, broadcast it to the world, and before you know it people have this perception of you that you never knew existed. Some may say this might be a good thing if it’s a positive perception. However, I say that this could never be a good thing because this false perception is not you… it is just an illusion. This false perception could also be dangerous because, of course, negative perceptions. I know that this is no shocker and, sometimes, it may slip our minds; but people will flat-and straight-up lie on your name. I have seen it happen plenty of times, but you know what the real shocker is that 80 percent of the time it’s your own friends. 

(someone play “What about your friends” by TLC)

“Friends” …let’s talk about that word and what it means to me. Now, you know I have to pull up the receipts: According to the Cambridge dictionary, the noun means.

1. A person you know well and like a lot, but who is usually not a member of your family.

2. Someone who is not an enemy and who you can trust.

Now, personally, what a friend means to me is someone I can confide in and trust that they will not tell anyone about my business. Also, a friend is someone I can count on to be there for me when I need them to be. I don’t know about y’all, but I have always had trouble in the friend category– particular in the best friend department. I guess you could blame it on how I was raised. My mamma always told me to be mindful of my surroundings and the people I surround myself with. So I am always skeptical about people by the energy they give off, what they say or do and especially the little things. So when I get the sense that someone I hang around is sketchy and/or coming off fake.

I automatically start separating myself from them, because the last thing I need is negative people and their toxic energy infecting in my life when I’m trying to thrive to become the best person I can be! (I recently dedicated a blog post to cutting off toxic people so check it out, if you haven’t already.)

All in all, what I’m trying to say is… be mindful and observant about the people you call your friends. You never know the person you call your best friend might just be your best enemy.

 The Oxford Dictionary definition of the word success is the fact that you have achieved something that you want and have been trying to do or get; the fact of becoming rich or famous or of getting a high social position.

So we are in November now and I have been at the Mississippi School of the Arts for almost a full semester. I have accomplished already so many of the goals that I set prior to being here. That makes me very ecstatic because one of my main reasons for going here was to grow, and every day I see myself growing and changing. I can only hope it is for the better.

I recently had a conversation with some friends of mine, Kailey Butler and Jericala’keisha Brown both dancers at MSA.

Kailey posed the question, “If you were able to see in the future on a device, would you?”

At first, my immediate answer was, “no, because I wouldn’t want to know my future if I can’t change it. What would be the reason?”

Now, looking back on the question, I have become really curious about how my future is going to turn out. I mean every since I was a young girl I thought about my future and I knew I wanted to be successful. But what really is success? Is it abstract or concrete? Can we reach out and grab success or is it only a feeling we store in our brain? Is success determine by how much money is in our bank account or how many people we impact in our lifetime? Is success having your name screamed and admired by thousands as you walk across a stage or is being knowledge for your work in your local community? Is success measured on how many awards you received or how many likes and comments you can get on an Instagram post?

We all have different definitions that define our own interpretation of the word success. I believe that there are also different levels of success, and I’m sure you have your own opinion about that. So why as humans are we so worried about becoming successful, or making a name for ourselves. Why have we, the people of society, place so much pressure on ourselves to be “successful” when we truly don’t understand what that word means. I mean let me rephrase that.Why do I put so much pressure on myself to become successful when I don’t know what that world means for myself? Because in reality the only human I need please with my decisions I make in my life, is me. I believe knowing who you are and what you stand for is really detrimental in your development as a person. As the saying goes, “If you don’t stand for nothing, you can fall anything.”

So, I say this to you and myself because I want us to recognize who we truly are, and what kind of person we want to become. Also what kind of impact that we want to leave on this world as an artist. Even though times may get hard, and we may get discouraged just remember to keep your head up along the way. Life is not easy and your goals won’t be either but just keep in mind, success is what you make it.

Some motivational and feel good videos in case you get discourage because I know it happens.

I am here to address the elephant in the room! Some of you may have noticed in my writer’s bio I stated that Leo was the best zodiac sign, which I believed it is. I mean it is just a proven fact in life, just look at some icons that are Leos.

Barack Obama

Lil Uzi Vert

Whitney Houston

Madonna

J.K. Rowling 

Angela Bassett

Lol, I’m just kidding, I don’t believe that Leo is the only best sign. Some honorable mentions are Geminis, Pisces, Capricorn women, Virgos, Aquarius, and lastly Taurus. 

A little background on Leos for a better understanding. According to astrology-zodiac-signs a website catered to all things astrology states that “People born under the sign of Leo are natural born leaders. They are dramatic, creative, self-confident, dominant and extremely difficult to resist, able to achieve anything they want to in any area of life they commit to. There is a specific strength to a Leo and their ‘king of the jungle’ status. Leo often has many friends for they are generous and loyal. Self-confident and attractive, this is a Sun sign capable of uniting different groups of people and leading them as one towards a shared cause, and their healthy sense of humor makes collaboration with other people even easier.” 

I was curious to see how many Leo characteristics I actually possessed. So for this blog post I will be talking about my experience on taking a zodiac personality quiz. 

So like the gene z I am I went straight to google and searched up, “Zodiac Personality Quiz” and clicked the first site that popped up right away. The website was called Psychtests Profile and right off the bat, I was impressed by how professional the website was presented. I mean I felt like I was getting ready to take a mental examination for the government (I probably was, but that’s for another blog post). The website was very clear with the instructions on how to take the test. I quickly scan through and press the next button. All the questions consisted of 49 questions and took 20 mins to answer; however, the questions were very straight forward.

Now, this is when things got a little odd. When I finished answering the 49 questions. There was another part asking what was my gender, birth date, more personality questions, etc. I’m thinking ‘if this a personality test shouldn’t you be the one guessing that?’ But still, I persisted with the test and waited for my results to come back. You guys would not believe what was my result! A Sagittarius! Never in a million years I would have thought I possess the trait of a Sagittarius, yet again I don’t associate with many.

According to astrology-zodiac-signs Sagittarius are “Curious and energetic, Sagittarius is one of the biggest travelers among all zodiac signs. Their open mind and philosophical view motivates them to wander around the world in search of the meaning of life. Sagittarius is extrovert, optimistic and enthusiastic, and likes changes. Sagittarius-born are able to transform their thoughts into concrete actions and they will do anything to achieve their goals.”

The Psychtest Profile also gave me a full report on Sagittarius and how to understand my results. 

In all this experience was very entertaining. I have always love astrology so any time I learn something new it feeds my love for it. With that being said I challenge my classmates, who are interested to write a blog post on their zodiac sign and their experience/ result with taking the zodiac personality test.  😛 

Links 

Here is the link to the personality website:  

https://testyourself.psychtests.com/testid/2299

Here is the link to the Zodiac website:

https://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/zodiac-signs/leo/

https://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/zodiac-signs/sagittarius/

Being a student at the Mississippi School of the Arts takes hard work and dedication. Often I find myself not being able to the things I love; one of things being photography. I found my love for photography ever since I got a camera phone honestly. I love taking pictures of the cloudy sky, the dewy day after it finishes raining, or simply just a beautiful flower.

According to Wikipedia, scenic photography is also known as landscape photography shows spaces within the world, sometimes vast and unending, but other times microscopic. Scenic photographs typically capture the presence of nature but can also focus on man-made features or disturbances of landscapes. Scenic photography is done for a variety of reasons.

Here are some my favorite scenic photographs:

 

    Sestina: Dark Skin Beauty

 

You may be blind by thy beauty

of the deep roots of your true melanin

It cross fades with the prophets

 true vision of unity.

Pay no thought of insecurity

of your ever-glowing dark skin.

 

Some may speak that the gift of thy pearl skin

which is rich in beauty,

should be the foundation of insecurity.

But I say your over joyous melanin

provides the nation with unity,

and plenty insights to the prophets.

 

They see plenty, the prophets.

They envision that thy skin

will be the formation of unity,

 and everyone shall see the beauty

Of thy perfect, rich melanin.

Then you shall learn, that this must not be the foundation of insecurity.

 

The darkness of your insecurity

will be what the prophets

cherished, so deep as the melanin

implemented in your skin.

 That glorifies your beauty

and shows thy ancestors unity.

 

Your ancestors found unity

to defeat the insecurity

of their captors. They knew of the beauty

that was spoken among the prophets.

Your ancestors embraced the skin

that was gifted to them along with luxurious melanin.

 

All do not possess the gift of majestic melanin

which has been the reason of disperse unity.

Hate has been decided by color of the skin

compelling many to believe darkness as an insecurity.

“Giving the man in power to feed and devour,” says the prophets,

“Thou will never know true equality until thou embrace the dark beauty.”

 

The beauty of your deep melanin

will awaken the world and provide unity

to all skin tones defeating, the battle of insecurity.

 

Recently in the introduction to poetry class, my classmates and I were taught the poem type, the sestina. According to the Oxford dictionary, a sestina is “a poem with six stanzas of six lines and a final triplet, all stanzas having the same six words at the line-ends in six different sequences that follow a fixed pattern, and with all six words appearing in the closing three-line envoi.” I honestly found that writing a sestina was extra and time-consuming. It made your mind think about possible ways that your chosen words could fit into the poem. That’s a reason why I enjoyed it as well, you got to make your own story where your chosen words lived. That was so exciting because one of my joys of writing is when you are writing either shorty story, poem, flash fiction, any fiction. And you realize that you are in control of the story and how it plans out, it is such a magical feeling.

  “Yes,” I say attempting to hide the drowsiness in my voice.

“Time to get ready for school Selena,” says mother shaking the door trying to pry it open.

“Wait Sandra,” I utter emphasizing her name, Sandra, she hates when I do that yet still I do.I see the shadows of her footprints walk away from the door then a few seconds later booming beatings appears. I know it’s him, I sense his monstrous energy and his treacherous smell through the door.  

“Get ready for school,” exclaims Joe, Sandra’s boyfriend, he is even worse than the other three in the past month. He doesn’t hide his pedophilia looks and doesn’t conceal his out of pocket thoughts but how would he know not to? Sandra isn’t a protective mother, she doesn’t give him disapproving looks. So he wouldn’t know that his looks give me chills and i’m afraid to wake up out of my sleep because I know in the conscious world he’s there. Waiting to prey on me and violate me with his hands in places he shouldn’t because I didn’t consent. I hesitantly open the marble bathroom door, he pushes it open then slams the door shut.

“Hi sweetheart,” he whispers as he places his cold hands around my waist.

“Excuse you, I believe you have your hands in the wrong place,” I say while trying to remove his hands off me but he is stronger and I can’t break the grip no matter how hard I try. He pushes me up against the wall and I slam my head so hard it starts to ring. I feel his every touch and my body breaks as his hands move down to my shorts and tries to take them off. I don’t know where the strength transpires in me and I take my knee and jolt it in between his legs so hard he descends into the ground holding his crotch in his hands. 

Joe crying on the floor says “Lena, come here!” I step over his aching body and run towards the bathroom door,only to find it jam. As I hear Joe in the background regaining himself and I frantically beat on the door.

“Mom help me please it’s Joe,” I’m screeching at the top of my lungs. Does she even want to hear me?I’m yanked by my hair and pulled to the ground with Joe on top of me. He is pulling and ripping my clothes. I’m fighting but it doesn’t seem like enough, I keep resisting but have I resisted enough? Joe eyes pierced into my eyes with a look of superiority and licks his lips. The tears roll down my face uncontrollably and I prepare for the end.

     Save Me

I’m in a pool of water

drowning with your exceptions of me

and who I need to be

and who I am.

I suddenly forgotten how to swim

I’ve been drowning my whole life

waiting for you to pull me up and save me

waiting for you to open your eyes

and truly see me for who I am

not this person you created.

For me to be me

you to be you

only then is when I can breathe.

I wrote Save Me when I was going through a harsh period in my life. I felt that nobody understood me and what I was going through. It was a ironic moment because I was feeling loneliness during at time where I felt like I had the most friends. Which is so interesting to me because it reminds me of a quote, which I believe Robin Williams said, I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it is not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that makes you feel all alone.”

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                                                                Beautiful Little Roses

Even the most

beautiful roses

have thrones

that if you take

that single touch

it’ll prick you

for all your blood.

I got the inspiration to write Beautiful Little Roses on Valentine’s Day. A little back story, at my old school you could buy roses for anyone, and on Valentines day the roses would be delivered to the recipient’s homeroom class rooms. So this year I received a abundant of roses from my special someone who shall not be name ( if you are reading this – hello  🙂  ). When I got home I decided  to really analyze the roses for some particular reason and as a result I created this thought. I would not classify it as a poem yet because I feel like I can develop it and give more meaning and worth.

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   The Plead to be Free 

I wish body hair was normalize as much as it

on our heads.

I wish women

can be free

in the breeze

where their hair

could go free

and I can be

the real me.

Not this me that society

has created

Not this me that makes

you feel normal

And makes me feel bad

that I have to rush

to shave my flower

that has naturally

grown in it’s garden shed.

I wrote The Plead to be Free (I’ m still working on the name, suggestions are welcome) when I was very much in my feminist mode. I was just so frustrated with the societal expectations that has been place on me because I am a women. I wanted to write something that women could relate to the pressure of society views.