another fanfic draft i need to finish

So I was going through my fanfic drafts on google docs and realized I had some gold in there that I never finished. I want to finish these pieces, but I’m not sure where to go with them, and I’m also lazy. I thought I’d share a couple of drafts here and see how you all feel about it. Today, I’ll only be sharing one because it’s quite long, and it centers around Steve and Eddie from Stranger Things. There aren’t any spoilers exactly, but I wouldn’t read it if you’re worried about spoilers. Anyways, please enjoy and leave your thoughts and opinions below. If you enjoy, I have many more from many other fandoms, so just let me know. 

Steve pulled into the gravel parking lot of the artillery store. The others in the van were quiet, hushed conversations dying out when they recognized where they finally were. Steve parked the large vehicle, let out a somber exhale, then turned his head to the group.

“We’re here.” He said as if they didn’t already know. None of their replies were verbal; only silent stares, as if waiting for Steve’s instructions.

“Let’s stick together while we’re in there, okay?” Nancy spoke up. “Just in case.”

Robin nodded, eyes glued to the floor while her foot bounced. Max went straight for the door, Lucas not far behind. Nancy and Erica followed them out. Robin finally looked up, locked on Steve’s motionless state.

“Aren’t you coming?” Robin couldn’t mask the fear bubbling in the back of her throat.

“Just give me a second.” Steve nodded toward the too-small bathroom placed haphazardly in the middle of the van. For safety and his own sanity, Eddie had crammed himself in there. 

“I’ll stay.” Dustin butted in.

“Nuh-uh.” Steve stood, shaking his head. “You two- go. I’ll be fine.” 

Dustin opened his mouth to argue but Robin stood. She looked at Dustin and nodded to the door before she took her leave. Dustin huffed once more, stubbornly rolled his eyes, then marched out to join everyone else. 

Steve watched through the window as Robin explained the situation to Nancy. Nancy glanced up at him through the shuttered windows of the van, brows furrowed as if asking “Are you sure?” Steve nodded and the group left for the store. He waited until they’d all disappeared behind the large industrial doors. When they were truly alone, Steve spoke up.

“You can come out now.”

Silence. Steve walked over to one of the cushioned benches. He shut the window blinds behind him and stared at the bathroom door. It took about sixty seconds before the door creaked open. Eddie poked his head out like a cat sneaking around a corner. His dark, wide irises met Steve’s, searching for confirmation of his safety. A deer in headlights asking the driver if he could cross the road. Steve scooted over, making room for Eddie on the bench. Eddie stood silent behind the door. 

“We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.” Steve toyed with the fraying fabric on Eddie’s vest. He twisted the string around his finger and pulled.

“Don’t-” Eddie took one step from the door before he froze. Steve glanced up. “Don’t do that.” He whispered and marched over to the bench. 

Steve dropped the loose string. “Sorry.” He stared up at Eddie with a faint smile.

Eddie’s brows untightened and his sour expression began to waver. He sat down next to Steve. The somber silence resumed while Eddie drummed his fingers against his thighs, eyes sewn into the floor. Steve watched him, wondering if he should speak or just let the moment linger.

“You should be honored, y’know.” Eddie’s tone was serious, so Steve made a confused noise. “That I’m letting you wear that.” Eddie turned his head, clearly fighting back a smile. 

“Really?” Steve asked, amused. “Is it like when a jock lets his girlfriend wear his lettermen?” 

Eddie’s brows screwed up again and he looked away. “No, it’s different.”

“How so?” Steve leaned into the wall of the van, arms resting on the back cushion of the bench. 

Eddie shook his head, knocking more hair into his face. “You wouldn’t get it.”

Steve scoffed. “Try me.”

Another bout of silence. Eddie’s foot drummed into the floor of the van. Steve rolled his neck back and forth. The muffled chorus of coarse breeze and chirping bird seeped into the metallic box they sat in. Eddie rubbed his left hand over his face. Steve watched the rings clank together. He wondered if they were cold metal, or if the heat from Eddie’s nervous body had made them warm. He wondered what they would feel like against his own skin.

“It’s… special.” Eddie dropped his hand.

“Huh?” Steve blinked, expression blank. 

Eddie turned his head slightly and gestured noncommittally toward his vest. “All those pins-” He poked at one, the large W.A.S.P pin by the collar. “-they’re mementos; merchandise from concerts I’ve been to, shit I got at parties, gifts.” 

Steve awkwardly bowed his head to look at the pins. He moved the vest around, trying to read the band names from upside down. Most were logos he recognized. AC/DC, Metallica, Judas Priest, Megadeath. Others with illegible fonts or symbols that meant nothing to Steve. As he moved the vest, one pin peaked out from under the folded collar and was noticeably different from the rest.

“What’s this?” Steve nudged up the collar and pointed at the pink triangular pin. Eddie’s wandering eyes met Steve’s for a moment, then froze when they recognized what he was pointing at. 

“It’s, uh-” Eddie scratched hard at a spot behind his ear like a dog with fleas. “It’s a symbol- Nazi soldiers used it during the Holocaust to label people as queer. Terrible shit- but, uhm-” Eddie spun a strand of hair around his finger. Steve could see his hand trembling. “Y’know, over the years, it’s become a symbol for queer liberation. Silence equals death, y’know?”

“Oh,” Steve took a moment to think, rubbing the triangle pin beneath his thumb as he did. “That’s metal.”

Eddie’s wide doe eyes flashed toward him. The rest of his face was covered with a thick layer of hair that he held to his cheek. Steve met his gaze, silent and patient. Eddie swallowed dry, shuffled some hair behind his ear, and sat up.

“Yeah.” He agreed. “Very metal.” 

Steve thought a moment more. He toyed with the collar flap.

“Why is it under here, though?” He dropped the fabric and it covered the pin. “It’s like you’re hiding it.”

Eddie scoffed, then noticed the confused look on Steve’s face and his smirk fell. “We live in a town that goes batshit when kids play a fucking fantasy game, why do you think?”

“Oh.” Steve scrunched his nose. “Right. Sorry.”

A small smile snuck over Eddie’s face. “‘s fine.” He stared at the collar of his vest for a moment, only somewhat losing focus in the tanned skin just past the jean fabric. Before his brain could process the signal, Eddie found his hand reaching out for the collar. He lifted the flap, slipped a hand behind the fabric, and unclasped the pin. He tried his best to not acknowledge how close his hand was to Steve’s pec. 

Eddie slipped the triangle pin out of its hidden spot. “Sometimes I don’t hide it.” He tugged at the jean pocket, ignoring the feeling of Steve’s eyes memorizing his every move. “Like at concerts or bars…” Eddie pressed the pin’s needle back into the pocket’s fabric, then reached inside to reattach the backing. “…places where people don’t care who you wanna sleep with.” With the pin clasped once more, Eddie leaned back. He finally let himself meet Steve’s gaze.

Steve nodded, unsure of how or if he even should respond. Despite having nearly the same conversation about a year ago in a dingy mall bathroom with Robin, Steve still found himself unable to form a proper reply. In that moment, his speechlessness was different from that night in the mall. With Robin, conversations were easy. They were stupid and often nonsensical, but Steve understood her. He figured they shared the same neurons that most biological siblings did; they could speak a language that only the other could process. Eddie was on a whole different wavelength. Steve had maybe one or two conversations with him over the years. At a party, buying weed. At skull rock, smoking a blunt while Tommy paid for the weed. 

“Your friend,” Eddie looked past Tommy and met Steve’s blown pupils. “he doesn’t talk much, does he?”

“He doesn’t need to.” Tommy slapped a bill into Eddie’s palm and shoved the plastic bag into his own pocket. 

Eddie ignored him. “Harrignton , right?”

Steve nodded.

“D’you play any instruments?”

Steve shook his head.

Eddie stepped past Tommy, shoving his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. “If you ever wanna learn,” He stopped a foot or two from Steve. “my band’s lookin’ for a drummer-“

“He’s not interested.” Tommy marched over, grabbed Steve by the bicep, and yanked him back toward his car. 

Even in those purely transactional conversations, Steve found himself tongue tied and pliant. He could blame his current silence on the topic of conversation, but Steve knew that wasn’t the issue. Eddie was a twenty-sided rubix cube to Steve. Despite his natural enthusiasm and grandiose emotions, Eddie was excruciatingly hard to read. Even if Steve thought he understood Eddie’s intended tone or reference, he still couldn’t rationalize the why. Steve had come to accept that some people, including Eddie, would do or say things for no apparent reason. That realization didn’t kill his curiosity whatsoever. 

“Y’know-” Steve didn’t realize he was speaking until he heard his voice through the familiar silence. Eddie acknowledged him, curious eyes wide. Steve wanted to bite his tongue, but he let himself continue. “I keep thinking about how different I would be if I met certain people sooner. Like you and Dustin, even Robin, Max.” Steve ran a hand through his hair. “I was such a dick because I only hung out with assholes. I had all of these ideas about myself that just- none of it was true. My freshmen year, I could’ve told you where I was going to college, what I’d major in, who I’d marry, the names of all our kids.” Eddie leaned forward, nearly slipping from the bench as he held onto every word. Steve sighed. “Now I don’t know anything. I feel like a new person.”

Steve stared at his hands which laid limp over his lap. He chewed at his inner cheek, wondering if he should regret everything he’d just admitted. 

“Sometimes…” Eddie spoke slowly, picking his words with seamstress precision. “…Sometimes that’s a good thing.”

“Yeah?” Steve lolled his head over to look at his friend. 

“Yeah- I mean it might not feel like it.” Eddie crossed his arms and hunched back into the bench. “I mean, shit, sometimes it’s fucking scary. I know what you mean by feeling like a new person. Up until I was like, ten- eleven maybe- I was just an extension of my dad. I did everything he told me, taught me. It wasn’t until I started butting heads with him that I realized how fuckin’ awful he was. When I left to live with my uncle- sure I was happy but I was also lost, y’know? Everything I knew was poof, gone. I had to relearn everything about myself.” 

“How?” Steve had sat up, now leaning closer to Eddie with piqued interest. 

“It’s different for everybody.” Eddie shrugged. “I met new people, explored new things. It took years, but I found a community that made me feel-like-” Eddie placed a firm palm on his own chest. “-complete. Like I found all my puzzle pieces.” 

For a moment, Steve didn’t react. He stared forward, eyes hooded and unreadable, focused on the hand that Eddie still had to his chest. Steve noticed the red, bruising knuckles and dried blood that stood out without bulky rings. A thick link chain hung loose around Eddie’s wrist. Steve watched as Eddie moved his hand and the chain slipped down under his sleeve. 

“Bet that took years.” Steve slumped back against the wall.

“Sure,” Eddie pulled his legs up, sitting cross-legged on the bench. His knee hovered just over Steve’s thigh. “But it’s fuckin’ worth it, man. I’d do it all again if I had too. Better than livin’ as someone you’re not.”

Steve’s eyes were stuck to Eddie’s bent knee. It was clear he was intentionally holding it there, tensing all his muscles rather than letting his leg touch Steve’s. Without much thought, Steve moved his leg closer to Eddie’s. He wedged his thigh under the other’s knee. 

“Doesn’t everyone do that, though?” Steve ignored how his movement made Eddie even more tense. 

“Huh?” Eddie looked up from their overlapping limbs. 

“Y’know,” Steve gestured lazily into the stale van air. “Sometimes you gotta ignore your passions to succeed in life.”

Eddie went silent for half a second, then broke out in a barking laugh. When Steve didn’t react the same, he composed himself.

“You’re serious?” Eddie let his legs relax. Steve nodded. “Jeez man- Who told you that?”

“I don’t know.” Steve shrugged limply. “I guess I told myself. Y’know, I wanted to do band before I started basketball-“

“What?” Eddie stifled another sharp laugh.

“Shut up.” Steve rolled his eyes but felt a grin tug at his cheek. “I wanted to be in the drumline. I thought that was badass when I was seven.”

“It is badass.” Eddie was beaming. “Why didn’t you?”

“My dad was a sports prodigy when he was in high school, he expected the same from me.” Steve brushed back his hair. “Signed me up for basketball, track, and swimming before I had a chance to argue.”

Eddie let out a dramatic gasp. “What a dick.” 

“I don’t know,” Steve groaned. “It’s not like I didn’t want to do sports-“

“He should’ve asked.” Eddie was slowly inching closer as he bounced in his seat. His left leg was now pressed firmly into Steve’s thigh and he had turned a full one-eighty degrees to face him.

“What difference does it make? I would’ve said yes-“

“It’s the principle of it all.” Eddie thumped his shoulder and Steve finally met his eyes. “‘s fuckin’ disrespectful to make those desisions for you. You gotta have control of your own life man.”

Steve knocked his head back against the stiff metal wall. He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a sigh from deep in his chest. He heard Eddie snicker from behind his palm. Steve smirked. 

“I don’t know, man.” Steve shook his head, eyes still closed. “I’m not an expert on stickin’ it to the man like you are.”
“I wasn’t always this smart.” Eddie sighed as if his extensive knowledge was a pure burden to him. “I had to learn the hard way.”

“Yeah,” Steve opened his eyes and leaned his head over to the other. “I don’t think I have the skills for that. I think I’m content on living my life according to everyone else around me.”

“You’re telling me you’d rather be miserable for the rest of your life than try to learn about yourself?” Eddie slapped the back of his hand into Steve’s chest. “That’s not the Harrignton I know.”

“Oh, yeah?” Steve found himself using the coy smirk, hooded eyes, and teasing tone he only pulled out when on a date. He decided to blame the slip up on momentary insanity. “Who’s this Harrignton you know so well?”

“The Harrignton I know would never back down from a challenge.” Eddie crossed his arms. “He’d run straight at it and get himself torn to pieces or beaten to a pulp in the process, but he’d get there. He wouldn’t give up, no matter how hard or uncomfortable it was.”

“He sounds like a cool guy.” Steve scoffed. 

A soft smile slowly formed over Eddie’s face. “He’s cooler than he gives himself credit for, that for damn sure.” Steve cocked a brow. Eddie continued. “If I had to guess, he’s too busy worrying if everyone he cares about is happy, and doesn’t allow himself to be happy.” 

“You my shrink now, Munson?” Steve looked away and rubbed a hand against his dry eyes. 

“Nah,” Eddie shrugged. “Just a loser who knows a thing or two about feeling like shit.” 

Steve wanted to argue, wanted to lie and say he felt fine. Totally, utterly, perfectly okay. Nothing about his secret-keeping, demon-fighting life was bothering him. Nothing at all to complain about. Not the friends he was constantly worried about losing. Not the sleepless nights he spent trying to scrub vivid memories from his hazy mind. Not the shitty dating cycle that made him feel like he’d never truly be loved. Not even the ex-girlfriend who symbolized a part of his life that he desperately wanted to return to. Because Steve Harrignton wasn’t afraid of change. He loved it, actually. Loved that he rarely saw his parents anymore. Loved that he slaved away at a retail job, rather than lurking the school halls with his loser friends. Loved the foreign buzzing feelings buried deep in his chest when he watched My Beautiful Laundrette with Robin. All good, Steve wanted to say, but he didn’t. 

There was a sharp knock on the van door and Eddie sprung for the open bathroom. Before he could lock himself away, Nancy was holding the door open and ushering everyone inside. Steve stood and stepped out of everyone’s way. He and Eddie watched silently as the other members of their group filed bags and boxes into the van. When Robin entered, she shoved a small bag into Steve’s chest.

“Got you a shirt.” Her tone was sharp and she didn’t hover to talk. She slumped to the back of the van and sat down. Steve didn’t ask; he didn’t need to. They’d talk later. They always did. 

Nancy closed the door once everyone was settled in. She was headed for the passenger’s seat when Steve found himself moving on autopilot.

“Hey, Nance.” He reached out an arm to stop her. She glanced up at him, confused. “Would you mind sitting in the back? I think Eddie was getting sore from cramming himself in that bathroom. I was gonna let him take shotgun.”

“Oh.” Nancy glanced over to Eddie, who stood behind Steve with furrowed brows. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

Eddie looked from the back of Steve’s head, to Nancy’s similarly confused expression. Steve turned his head to nod slightly at Eddie. 

“Yeah, I guess.” Eddie nodded too, shifting his eyes back to Nancy. “It’s gettin’ dark. I think it’ll be fine.” 

“Oh. Okay then.” Nancy glanced between them a couple more times before she turned on her heel and headed for the back. 

Steve moved for the driver’s seat. When he sat down, he turned his head to find Eddie motionless behind him, watching intently. Steve patted the open passenger seat.

“C’mon man.” He nodded his head toward the seat. Eddie paused a moment more before he finally took one slow step, expecting Steve to revoke the offer before he sat down. Steve didn’t mention it. Instead, he shifted the gears and began to pull out of the lot. Eddie sat down quickly, wrapped the seat belt around his front, and pulled his knees to his chest. 

Eddie figured he must’ve fallen asleep at some point on the drive. He remembered closing his eyes to a narrow forest road, surrounded by towering trees. When he looked out again, all he saw was dull grassy fields that stretched on for miles. The RV was parked and he could hear the shuffling of bodies moving behind him. He dropped his feet to the ground, stretched out his back, and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. 

“Hey there, sleepyhead.” Steve had walked back to the front of the van. He had put on the new shirt Robin got him, Eddie’s vest over it. 

“Where are we?” Eddie glanced from Steve to the grassy flatland he could see through the window. 

“We’re just taking a rest.” Steve leaned against the back of Eddie’s seat. “Gettin’ everything ready, y’know?”

“Eddie!” Dustin ran over the moment he realized Eddie was awake.

“Hey.” Eddie yawned through his greeting. 

“Do you wanna help me make shields? We got these trash can lids and I’m thinking we stab nails through them-“

“Give him a second man, he just woke up.” Steve had put a firm hand on Dustin’s shoulder to quiet him. 

Eddie smiled. “It’s fine man.” He turned to Dustin. “Sounds sick, I’ll be out in a minute.”

Best and Worst Soulmate AUs

If you were in any fandom spaces in the 2000s-2010s, you’d know how prevalent soulmate AUs (alternate universes) were. I could probably write a whole thesis on why that happened, but that’s a rant for another blog. For those of you who don’t know, these soulmate AUs were writing or art prompts based around a piece of media and typically a specific ship (couple) from that fandom. Each soulmate AU was different, and I want to talk about some of my favorites, as well as some I despise. This will not even scrape the surface of all of them. I’m sure there are videos on youtube doing deep dives into this if you’re interested in learning more. I’ve been thinking about different fanfic tropes recently and I wanted to rate some of the ones I enjoy and diss the ones I don’t like. I’ll be doing multiple parts to this series, so stay tuned. 

1. Soulmate Initials AU

The premise of this AU is pretty self explanatory. Characters in this universe are born with the initials of their soulmate somewhere on their body, typically their wrist. Sometimes it’s not something they’re born with; rather, they receive the initials on their 18th birthday or some other special day. This AU is pretty solid and leads to a lot of really funny miscommunication tropes where a character thinks their soulmate is one person who’s initials match their wrist, while in reality it’s someone entirely different (ie, character A thinks their soulmate is Jane Smith, when actually it’s their sworn enemy, John Smitty). 

At the same time, if you have a character with a really unique name, it’s hard to create any of those miscommunication plot lines. It’s something hard to misunderstand and it makes finding one’s soulmate generally easy. I’m a sucker for a pining slow burn, so this trope isn’t always my favorite. However, I am also partial to the “finding out your soulmate is your enemy” trope, and this AU is perfect for that. In the end, I give this AU a solid 7/10.

2. Soulmate Writing Transfer AU

This AU can differentiate depending on the author, but the general premise is as follows. Characters in this universe will be able to write, draw, or doodle on their skin in any form of ink and said writing will appear on the skin of their soulmate. Some authors include tattoos into this, while others write that tattoos stay only on the one getting the tattoo willingly, rather than both the character and their soulmate. Besides the ambiguous state of tattoos in this trope, the writing on your soulmate’s skin will eventually wash off as it washes off your own skin. However, you and your soulmate would not be able to wash off something drawn by the other person. 

This AU is easily one of my favorites. I love the trope of an artistic character drawing on their hands all day while their soulmate is someone who has never even colored in a coloring book. There is an obvious caveat to this AU, which is that you could easily write sentences on your skin and quickly find out who your soulmate is. I think that takes the fun out of this AU, but it is still undeniably a possibility. I love this trope because I think that mindless doodles are sometimes the best way to get to know someone on a deeper level. Like, yeah, there is a reason I like to doodle cats on every blank piece of paper I see. Anyways, this AU is a 9/10 for me.

3. Color Blind Soulmate AU

This AU is difficult to explain because it ranges in complexity, but I’ll do my best to explain the general idea. In this universe, characters are born with the inability to see color, and won’t be able to see color until they meet their soulmate. It’s typically a gradual process of them gaining the ability to see color, but it’s generally obvious who/what caused the color to appear. In other versions of this AU, characters aren’t able to see a specific color, until they meet their soulmate. Often, this AU has a moment where character A looks into character B’s (their soulmate) eyes and suddenly they can see the color of their eyes after never being able to.

I forgot how much I loved this AU. If you’re a Homestuck like me, you’re probably familiar with this trope. There was a specific human character in Homestuck who had red eyes, which he hid with sunglasses, and this spurred a lot of fanfics with this AU. I think it’s a really sweet idea and I love how it plays on the concepts of color being brought back into someone’s life, metaphorically and literally. My only note is that this AU isn’t sad enough. I know that’s a weird issue to have, but I think a good AU has conflict built in, and this AU is pretty plain on that front. It’s something you’d see in a K-Drama, which isn’t bad by any means, but it is definitely a level of soft, fluffy romance that I’m not personally interested in. I give this AU a soft 8/10.

4. First/Last Words Soulmate AU

This AU is once again, pretty self explanatory. Characters in this universe are born with the first (or last) words that their soulmate will ever say to them. Typically, this is found on their wrist. Similar to the Soulmate Initials AU, there are versions of this AU where the words won’t appear till a certain age. This makes for a pretty cut and dry storyline. Often, stories with this AU will follow a character who is either desperate to find their soulmate and thus trying to manipulate conversations to lead into the quote on their wrist, or the exact opposite and the main character barely talks to anyone because they don’t want to meet their soulmate.

Finally an AU I absolutely hate. There is so much of this AU that I want to nit pick. What if my soulmate likes to talk and their first words to me span over the entirety of my forearm? What if their first word is something lame like “Hey” and I meet twenty other people whose first word to me is also “Hey”- How do I tell which is my soulmate? To be fair, some authors will work around this and write that the words on the character’s wrist will disappear/fade after they meet their soulmate. The only aspect of this AU that I’m interested in is the concept of knowing your soulmate’s late words to you. This easily leads to some of the most gut-wrenching angst you’ve ever read. One thing about me, I love some angst (if it isn’t obvious). However, this AU leans too far into the territory of those POV Tik Toks where the main character knows how long they have left to live. I don’t like those, I don’t wanna know when I’m gonna die, LAME. Only story that’s ever done that AU well is “They Both Die at the End” by Adam Silvera, and that’s strictly because of how well the universe around the characters is developed. Anyways, I hate this trope but it has the capability to be good so 4/10.

5. Soulmate First Touch AU

This AU is very much a dealer’s choice situation. The main version of this AU centers around a universe where characters will have some sort of marking on their body which indicates the point where their soulmate will first touch them. Sometimes these markings are  distinct birthmarks, moles, or freckles. Other times the markings will be less natural, like inky blobs or a clear imprint of a hand. This is not the only version of this AU though. Sometimes the first touch of a soulmate will lead into other AUs. For example, a character unable to see color might be touched by their soulmate and suddenly they can see color. Or a character may get visions of their future with their soulmate when they first touch. There are a lot of ways to play around with the other versions of this AU.

The base of this AU is something I enjoy quite a bit. I’ve always loved the idea of freckles being “angel kisses” and I find it even sweeter if those freckles/moles/birthmarks were given to you from a soulmate. This AU also leads to a lot of really silly, stupid moments in stories, like jokes about where a character’s soulmate mark is located. Like, what do you mean you have a giant birthmark on your neck? Is your soulmate going to choke you out the first time you meet??? As for the other versions of this AU, I’m not sure how I feel. It feels like an afterthought that ties this AU into other, previously existing AUs. I think this AU works well on its own and I really love the implications of it. I especially love an AU that goes hand in hand with this one; a universe where your birthmark(s) is where you suffered a fatal injury in another life OR your birthmark(s) show where you will suffer a fatal injury in the future. Once again, this spurs so many questions and interesting plot points. Anyways, solid AU and as someone with a lot of moles and freckles, I hold this AU dear to me. 10/10

guess what cured my writers block…

guys, can you guess? 
Story pin imageStory pin imageStory pin image
you’re right. it was the compelling relationship between to male characters with depressing backstories from a koren television show that recently came out with it’s second season. anyways, here’s a draft of the first chapter of a fanfic i recently started. it follows the plot of squid game (specifically folowing thanos and namgyu’s characters…), expect the main difference is there is no drug use. i think both thanos and namgyu would be really compelling/more compelling characters if they were sober during squid game, so im using this fic to explore that idea. this first chapter is just an introduction to that idea, but if you guys enjoy this, there will be more. or you can hunt down my ao3 account lol.
also this has not been beta read and im dyslexic so if there are any spelling errors, just ignore them thank you.

trigger warning for implied suicide attempt, reference drug use/addiction, and general mature themes. 

 

EPISODE 00 – Playing with Fate

On the North end of the Hangang bridge, Choi Su-bong stood with a cross-shaped locket in his hand. He had taken it off of his neck and let it sit limp in the palm of his hand as he held it out over the railing. The lingering high that still clouded his mind told him to close his fist and shove the locket back in his pocket. The longer he stood there, the more Su-bong could feel himself sobering up. His sober mind made his hand tremble, daring him to throw the necklace in the river and then jump in after it. 

Su-bong glanced past the necklace, down to the dark blue of the Han river. Even as the sunset blackened out the sky, the river was a starkly different shade of black. It dominated the darkness, hiding beneath secrets that no man had ever lived to tell. Su-bong found himself pulled toward that secretive pit. With the state his life was in, he figured diving into the endless void below him was the only productive way to drown his sorrows. There was no point in driving himself into more debt to pay for drugs when death is the strongest drug of them all. 

“Sir.”

Su-bong felt a strong hand grab onto his shoulder, pulling him back into the present moment. He jumped at the sudden movement and the necklace in his palm slipped from his grip. He clasped down onto what he hoped was the chain, but as he wiped his head back to his hand, the locket was nowhere to be seen. 

“Shit.”

“I’m sorry, did I startle you?” The stranger removed his hand from Su-bong’s shoulder, sliding it into the pocket of his slacks. 

Su-bong took a moment to acknowledge the strange man. He was dressed nicer than anyone had any business being at this time of night. In his other hand, the man held a small briefcase. Su-bong figured it couldn’t hold much more than a laptop and some books, if that. He gave the man another once-over, brows furrowed.

“I didn’t mean to alarm you.” The man continued. “I simply came to make you an offer.”

“Tch,” Su-bong rolled his eyes and turned away from the man. “I’m not interested, dude.”

“Is there a reason you haven’t jumped yet?”

Su-bong wiped his head around again. “The fuck did you just say?”

The man held his hands up with a coy smile. “Perhaps you’re waiting for someone to come change your mind, hmm? Is that it?”

“You don’t know shit about me, man.” Su-bong pressed two fingers against the man’s chest and pushed his back. 

“I know you’re different from most of the people I talk with.” The man raised his briefcase, withdrew his hand from his pocket, and opened the case. 

Faintly illuminated by the flickering lamp posts, Su-bong found himself staring down at stacks of won and two sets of ddakji tiles. Su-bong stared blankly at the cash. He knew the won in the suitcase couldn’t even pay off ten percent of his debt. Unless he could pay off all his debt at once, Su-bong knew he’d end up spending the money on drugs. And as much as he didn’t want to admit it, the drugs were simply postponing his inevitable fate at the bottom of the Han river. 

“I know that this means little to nothing to you.” The man shut the suitcase and lowered it. “You wouldn’t be standing here if you cared about a couple thousand won.”

“What’s your point?” Su-bong rubbed a hand over his face.

“What if I told you that there was a way you could make billions of won simply by playing childhood games, such as ddakji.”

Su-bong scoffed. “I’d say you’re crazier than me, bro.”

The man smiled and reached into the breast pocket of his suit jacket. He pulled out a rectangular business card and held it out. Su-bong stared down at the brown card and the three simple shapes that were printed on the top. 

“Just call the number on the back.” The man maintained eye contact, still smiling in a way that made Su-bong’s stomach turn. 

Su-bong took the card. He flipped it over and, sure enough, there was a number on the back. He glanced up at the man once more, still unsure. 

“You’re serious?”

“Very.” The man straightened out the front of his suit jacket, squared his shoulders, then stepped back. “That is all. Have a good night.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Su-bong didn’t put much emphasis behind the farewell, more focused on the vague card in his hand. 

He flipped the card between his fingers. The simple design left much to the imagination, but regardless of whether or not the strange man was telling the truth, this was definitely a second option that Su-bong now had to consider. He could either drop the card and proceed with the fate he assumed was set in stone, or he could call the number on the back of the brown rectangle and play a game with fate. 

The longer Su-bong stared down at the nondescript card, the more curious he grew. A fresh start was what he needed. If he could pay off his debt, he’d change his whole life around. He’d never indulge in any of his vices ever again. He’d use any leftover cash he had to buy his mother a nice house in the countryside. He wouldn’t expect her to take him back in, but he’d do anything in his power to give her a comfortable life in her old age. Maybe he’d go back to school, study business and settle into a corporate job like his mom always wanted. All of that sounded better than spending the rest of eternity at the base of the Han river, while his poor mother wondered what she did to raise such a worthless brat. 

Su-bong rubbed a hand over his face again. He could feel his brain pulsing against the sides of his skull, as if trying to break open and spill down his face. He squeezed his eyes shut and swore under his breath. He needed a drink, a pill, anything. All he had was a stupid business card and the vague promise of billions. Su-bong groaned, shoved the card in his pocket, then turned back toward the Dongjak district.

Richie Rambles: The Best Video Game You’ve Never Played

Yes, the title is presumptuous of me, but I’m 99.9% sure you haven’t played this game. Unlike my other deep-dives on video games that interest me, this will simply be a ramble about why I love this game so much. If it’s interesting to anyone, I will gladly do a deep-dive! Regardless of what you think by the end of this blog, this game is cheap on Steam and you should play it. 

The day is June 14th, 2011. I am simply a baby, I have no idea the importance of this day. For on this day the game Alice: Madness Returns is released. This game follows the main character, Alice Liddell, and her adventures through Wonderland. In this game, Alice lost her parents and sister in a house fire. This fire severely burnt Alice and, after being accused of starting the fire, Alice was forced to live in an asylum. She is watched by a doctor (who only traumatizes her more), until being transferred to a home for wayward children. She is treated horribly by the staff and other children who live there, as many believe her to be a murder (at worst) or simply a weirdo (at best). 

The artstyle of the game is my favorite part. With this grim twist on Alice in Wonderland, playing around with character designs and the settings is the most vital part- and this game does an excellent job. The dark and dingy normal world, the steampunk land where the Mad Hatter lives, the colorful and dangerous forest where you first meet the Cheshire cat- Everything is detailed perfectly. Every character is throughout in design, personality, and storyline. Despite the dark twist, the familiar characters of Alice in Wonderland still have many of their recognizable traits. The Chesire cat is playful and mysterious, the Queen of Hearts is power hungry and fueled by rage, and the Caterpillar is a wise oracle. 

My favorite part is that, to go along with these new environments, Alice gets a new outfit! It’s a minor detail, but it’s vital in keeping everything cohesive. 

While the story is very dark, and I definatly encourage people to be careful before playing (not only to watch out for gore, but also for the dark topics), I still highly encourage anyone interested to do more research and play this game! The gameplay is difficult, but fun, and the graphics are a bit outdated, but it adds to the charm. This game is one of the best examples of a story told through the video game medium (in my opinion) and more people should know about it!!

Richie Rambles: My Hero Academia

In this first installment of this new series, I (Richie) am going to be rambling about My Hero Academia. Back in 2018, when MHA first started coming out, I was introduced to the manga. I believe this was my first introduction to manga and one of my first interactions with anime as a whole. My memory of back then is very blurry, so I’m not sure how I found out about it but I’m sure it was the internet. I’ve always been a big nerd. 2018 was the same year that the new generation of Voltron was coming to an end, so my nerdy 11 year old self needed a new thing to fixate on. MHA it was! I was also learning about Homestuck around this time, but that’s a conversation for another day.

Anyways, I don’t remember much about how I originally felt about MHA. I know it was a big deal; it was something I was passionate about for years despite the fact I never actually watched the anime (I read the manga… not sure how well I kept up though). I was heavily involved in fandom spaces online. I was able to log back into my middle school Wattpad account last year and I found a bunch of MHA fanfics… Maybe I’ll revise some and publish them here in the future. MHA also got me much more involved in cosplay. Voltron was definitely my cosplay journey beginning, but I had never met another cosplayer in real life until I joined the MHA fandom. A couple of my longest friends are people I met through the MHA cosplay fandom, actually. 

Long story short, MHA was really important to me for a long while. Then, I’m not sure exactly when this happened, but I found a new interest and I went through that period where I thought that everything I enjoyed in middle school was cringe and lame and I didn’t like it anymore. After about two years of a really bad depressive episode, I realized I actually enjoyed being cringe and I wanted to re-introduce myself to all the interests I abandoned for those two years. I started with cosplay and shows like Monster High and My Little Pony. I started watching new anime and reading new manga that my friends recommended. I felt like myself for the first time in a while.

The past few months, I’ve been rediscovering my (early) middle school interests. It started with tracking down 5-6 year old musically cosplay compilations on youtube and eventually I began rewatching Voltron. Then, last month, I heard that MHA was finally coming to an end. I had seen some leaked panels from the manga circulating online and I found myself slipping back into the fandom space. I realized how much the fandom had changed over the years, and how much I had missed it. I also remember that Netflix had added the first four seasons of MHA to their streaming service. Since I had never watched the anime, I really wanted to watch it from start to finish, in preparation for the end of the series. I have a really bad attention span though, and I knew the only way to keep my focus would be if I watched it with my family. I gave a brief description to my family, and they agreed!

So far, we’ve just about finished the first two seasons. Everyone loves it so far. My dad’s favorite character is Present Mic, and he loves quoting All Might’s “I AM HERE” at any random time in the day. My mom relates to Aizawa and All Might (when he’s in his weak form). My sibling loves Tsuyu and they agreed to cosplay from MHA with me for an upcoming convention! We also have been playing the MHA card game as a family and it’s a very fun game. We’ve actually owned it for years (probably since 2018) but we’d never played it before. I highly recommend it to anyone who’s curious!

Anyways, that is all for today! Oh, for anyone curious, Kirishima is my favorite character! 

Cats I Met in NOLA

Two weekends ago (11/1-11/4), my family and I went to New Orleans to celebrate my godfather’s 50th birthday. My godparents lived in New Orleans for most of their life, but recently moved to Connecticut because my godfather got a job opportunity there. New Orleans is a second home for both my family and my god-family, so we decided to meet there for the celebration. Similarly, my godfather has a bunch of friends in NOLA who wanted to watch the Sunday Saints game and celebrate with their friend. 

I love New Orleans. It’s become my safe haven over the years. My favorite thing to do is stay up till midnight and walk through the art districts of the French Quarter with my mom. This weekend, we explored a lot, did some shopping, and ate some good food. I visited some of my favorite stores, found new favorites, and generally had an amazing time. On Sunday morning, I decided to wake up early and take a walk around the city. I stayed close to the neighborhoods rather than going into any shops. I met quite a few cats in the neighborhoods I walked through, and I wanted to share them with you today. (I will also be giving them names)

(Name: Whisp) This little fella was the first cat I met. They were not interested in me by any means. They looked very clean and sweet, possibly because they belonged to someone. They also stayed close to the house you can see in the background. They were very pretty and they let me sit a good six feet away and talk to them. I love their little white glove paws the most. I wish this photo was better quality because you could see how beautiful their eyes were. Just all around a very striking cat that I would’ve liked to get to know better.

(Name: Myrtle) This was the second cat I met. She was on the sidewalk across the street and I had to run across to go greet her. She was nervous about the passing cars, but she seemed somewhat interested in what I was doing. I went down on her level and she walked somewhat close to me, but wouldn’t get within arms reach. Rather than walk past me, she walked through the fence near us to get around me. When I got too close, she sat down on the fence in the way she is in the picture. She sat there for a while until I realized that she was waiting for me to leave so she could walk away without me following. I was embarrassed that I bothered her and ran away pretty quickly after that. 

(Name: Big Pete) This fella was the last cat I met on my walk. I was minding my own business and I saw an orange ball, curled up on the trash can lid. When I got close, I realized it was a cat. I made a little clicking noise with my mouth and he slowly woke up to greet me. He got close enough to smell my hand and let me pet him just a bit. Other than that, he just wanted to clean himself and stretch. He was much more social than the other cats I met that day though.

Thank you for reading, please let me know which cat was your favorite and what would you name them?

Halloween from a Cosplayer’s Perspective

Halloween is the one night a year a cosplayer can cosplay in public and not be stared at, laughed at, or generally ridiculed. Cosplay has definitely become more mainstream over the last few years, but as someone who’s been in cosplay communities since the early 2010s, it has not alway been this peachy. There has always been confusion in where the line is drawn between cosplay and simply dressing up, but I’m here to explain it (at least from my own opinion and experiences). 

I’ve seen a lot of people using the term “cosplay” to refer to basically any form of acting like or dressing up as something. For instance, when Carhartt clothes grew popular amongst more wealthy people, many used the phrase “cosplaying blue collar” to describe their style. Another example is when “underconsumption core” became a popular idea on Tik Tok, many wealthy creators were called out for “cosplaying poverty” because they were taking many things that lower class families have to do to get by and reframing them as aesthetic. 

I hate that cosplay is being thrown around like this. First of all, it’s not the correct use of the word. I suggest using “roleplaying as ___” or simply “pretending to be ___”. Secondly, the term cosplay was created with the Japanese word “kosupure” in mind, which means “costume play” in English. Kosupure refers to a specific performance art of dressing up as characters from media. It’s not “costume play” if someone isn’t dressing as a character… I could go on this rant forever. Stop using “cosplay” when you mean something entirely different.

Rant over, let’s talk about Halloween. So what’s the difference between cosplay and dressing up on halloween? Ultimately, not much. In my opinion, the key difference is the motivation for dressing up. Cosplay is tied to 80s-90s nerd/geek culture and began as a form of self expression and a way to show one’s dedication to a character/piece of media. For many years, cosplayers crafted their own cosplays and props and many still do today. You can still be a cosplayer if you don’t make your entire piece on your own, but cosplay’s origins almost always portray cosplay as just as much of a craft as it is a hobby. On Halloween, you might build your entire costume and dress up as that specific character because you love them dearly, but this is when you need to ask yourself an important question: Would you be doing this if it wasn’t Halloween? If the answer is no, I believe that is the key factor separating cosplay and Halloween costumes. If the answer is yes, then you should! You don’t have to post about it or anything, just have fun as your favorite character. I hope to see you at the next local cosplay convention.

Surprises in Unlikely Places

Last weekend my family and I were deep cleaning our house in preparation for a party. My grandfather’s birthday is October 27th and we’ve agreed to host his birthday dinner at our house. We aren’t necessarily messy people, but we’re a family of four creatives who also have issues with hoarding sentimental objects so our main issue is organization. My dad and I were focused on moving things to storage that no longer needed to be at our house while my sibling and mom focused on cleaning the inside and fixing up some broken appliances. 

My dad and I spent most of our time outside on the side porch. There were two large boxes full of cleaning supplies, caked in dust and grime. After going through them, most were things my mom had been looking for and they were quickly re-organized inside where they belong. There were also two medium sized containers of pet treatments, all of which were 10 or more years old. To my dad’s disappointment, we had to throw away at least one full bottle of flea treatment. 

Once the side porch was cleared of all unnecessary things, my dad swept and dusted as best he could. Later, my sibling and I helped my dad move an outside table from the front porch to the newly cleaned side porch. While we were moving the table, we decided to finally open the large, industrial freezer-shaped box that sits in the corner of the porch. We hadn’t opened it because we assumed it was more outside items that needed to be there, but our curiosity got the best of us. There were a load of unlabeled boxes and bags, none of which needed to sit outside any longer. My dad started rifling through one of the boxes and found a bunch of plates, napkins, utensils, and decorations for a birthday party. We immediately decided to store them for my grandad’s upcoming party. 

My dad pulled out a drawstring bag that had my deadname written on it and handed it to me as he continued to rifle through the trunk. I opened the bag and found at least half of a collection that I had convinced myself I’d lost years ago. Deep in this dirty bag, buried in a trunk out on my porch for the past however many years- my Monster High dolls. There were a few Ever After High dolls and even one My Little Pony doll as well. I was hit with immediate excitement, nostalgia, and indescribable joy. I took the bag inside to begin sorting through what all was in there. It was not my complete collection, but it gave me the confidence that I would find the rest of them. 

So You Want to Make Your Own TTRPG…

If you’ve ever participated in a tabletop roleplay game, listened to a podcast of a campaign, or simply read through a TTRPG handbook, you’d understand the vast and limitless worlds within these stories. Maybe you’ve thought it’s simply too hard or time consuming to try and create your own TTRPG. I’m here to present you with an easy-to-follow guide for how to create your first TTRPG experience, no matter your skill level. 

1. Blueprints

Here is where you will be asking yourself the big questions: Where is this campaign taking place? What sort of creatures might the players encounter? Is there a lore-based storyline you want to implement, or is it just a go-with-the-flow sort of story? I suggest writing down some rough notes about the themes you want to include, settings, monsters, and major goals of your future players. As for building your new universe, I suggest creating a Pinterest board with images of locations and monsters to help you visualize where the players will be and who they will encounter. Linked below are some of my own inspiration boards.
Monster Inspiration/Sheets or Inspo Board for a specific campaign.

2. The Base.

Now that you’ve got the outline of your campaign, let’s start filling in the structure. Now is when you will develop a storyline. You have a plethora of options; you could use your character’s backstories to build a plot, base your world around mythology or pre-existing stories, or create a plot-less campaign that’s left up to the player’s control. Regardless of your structure, you’re going to need to plan out the monsters/fights that your players might encounter. These fights will serve as the major climax events in your storyline. The build up events can be anything from gathering supplies, interacting with townspeople, exploring the unknown, or sitting around playing card games. I suggest drawing out a simple plot diagram- even if you don’t have a concrete end to your story yet. Map out the events you know for certain you want to include, and get inspired by other campaigns or stories to help you fill in the rest.

3. The Floors.

You’re going to need some non-playable characters to fill up the empty space in this new campaign. They can be important figures who will return time and time again to help the player, or they can be random one-off characters who you throw in for one campaign and then kill off. For the more important characters, I suggest creating a very simple character sheet. You don’t need to know their exact stats on everything, but class, race, and health level would be important. As for your one-off characters, a brief bio is enough. Here are some NPC examples from my own campaigns.

Around this time you’re also going to want to consider creating a map for your new universe. I am not a fan of maps myself but they can be helpful, especially when handling monsters with specific attacks. There are a plethora of online map builders- I will add, most are difficult to use, or cost money to work effectively, so I highly suggest creating your own map on paper. For my most recent campaign, I created one large map of the entire town within the universe, then a handful of smaller maps that zoom in on the buildings within this town. The players were able to create their own paper player figures as well. Once again, maps are not a necessity, but they can be a helpful tool during battle.

4. The Walls.

Next is easily the most fun and most difficult aspect of building a campaign. You need to compile your monsters, note down their stats, special moves, and other important battle information. I suggest making a small reference bio to keep in your notes so you don’t have to carry around an entire character sheet for each monster your players will encounter. Here’s an example of one of my mini bios for a monster my campaign fought:

Ancient White Dragon
300 hp, claw atk 2d10, tail atk 2d6, breath weapon (targeted atk) 3d10
stealth bonus (+6), armor class 20, dodge hits 12≤

Something like this will help you keep track of the important information you’ll need in the middle of an intense battle. You can find this sort of information in most dungeon master handbooks or on the D&D Beyond website. 

5. Electrical and Plumbing.

Setting a chapter or act based pace for your campaigns will help you tremendously with writing your story. For example, in my first campaign as a DM, we would only have about 2 hours for each session. This is much shorter than most campaigns, thus confining my players to a shorter quest for that act. My general structure for these short sessions was to start with giving the players a chance to roam/explore their surroundings, discuss events from the last session, or search for the next pivotal point in the storyline. After that, we would have 1-2 monster encounters depending on the strength of the beast. For example, if they were fighting a large monster who’s defeat would be a pivotal plot point, that would be the only fight of the session. If they were to fight less powerful monsters, perhaps in search of weapons or bonus items, there would be multiple battle opportunities for the players to gain more bonuses. 

It’s important that you also propose options to your players. While having a clearly set storyline is good, it’s also vital that your players have the opportunity to use their creativity. Depending on your story structure, these options might be the main gimmick of the storyline (a sort of butterfly effect story). Most of my campaigns have an even split between options and set plot lines as my players (my parents, my younger sibling, and my sibling’s friends) aren’t entirely comfortable with making many choices during sessions. It’s important that you are able to change certain aspects of your story to cater to your players’ needs. If you’re playing with experienced players, it’s likely that they will ask to do/attempt something that you never considered. Always expect the unexpected and be prepared to meet their suggestions with enthusiasm. 

6. Furnishing and Decor.

These final details will be almost entirely up to you. It is your responsibility to determine the number range of skill roll results that will allow a character to complete an action. There are dungeon master handbooks you can follow for advice on these details, but my general structure is to cater certain options to certain players and leave others up to luck. For example, If I know one of my players has a high dexterity modifier, I might include an interaction within the game where players must make a dexterity roll of 15 or higher in order to receive a bonus. Another and much more common example is when players are exploring a new location. If that location has plot relevance, it will be up to players with high history, perception, or even arca modifiers in order to roll high enough to identify the important details within an area. For instance, my first campaign followed closely with Norse mythology. In order to learn more about the history and lore of their town, players had to roll high in history, perception, investigation, and arcana. Make sure that the story will be able to continue, regardless of if your players are able to make high enough rolls. Not every piece of information needs to be vital!

If you have any remaining questions or concerns, I’ve added two of my campaigns that follow very different structures. Neither are complete, but the information is still a relevant example. Remember that your notes do not need to be the ultimate formal writing- Make them legible to you! I struggle to follow dungeon master handbooks because of how convoluted they tend to be structured, so always feel free to adjust things in a way that makes the most sense for you. 

How Stranger Things Ruined a Character and then Killed them Off

Spoilers for most of Stranger Things, especially season four.
Minor trigger warning for mentions of character death/injury. Read mindfully and take time for yourself to relax if need be! :]

October of 2017 saw the release of Stranger Things Season two, arguably the best season of the entire series (and this is coming from someone who’s favorite character is Eddie Munson). Season two expanded on the character growth that began in the first season, tackled strong emotions around family trauma, abuse, and mental health, and presented a boat-load of new characters. One of the most notable being Sadie Sink’s character Max Mayfeild. Max is presented as a tomboy-ish new student, straight from sunny California with her mom, step-dad, and older (step) brother. The main cast of characters, all teen/preteen boys, are immediately intrigued by her boy-ish personality and video game skills. Her introductory season reveals Max to be someone comfortable in her identity; she prefers masculine clothing, stays away from makeup and dresses, and enjoys hobbies that (especially in the 80s) were categorized as ‘for boys’. She is even noted in her first ever on-screen scene to prefer the name ‘Max’ to her birth name, ‘Maxine’. Most of this is unimportant to this specific blog post, but I mention it to point out that she was a perfect representation for possible transgender or gender non-conforming representation. Given the show’s history with queerbaiting, I’m not surprised they deciding against giving her a queer plot line.


Season three completely overrides all of Max’s previously stated character development. To be fair, season three did this with many characters, not just Max, but Max’s is easily the most noticeable. Season three portrays Max as much more feminine, something that feels much more uncomfortable given that this is the season where she officially has a boyfriend. Her relationship with Lucas is another thing that season three does extremely dirty. They are shown arguing and ‘breaking up’, only to get back together days later. This joke-y and gimmick-y relationship completely undermines the intense emotional bonding that they two characters shared in the first season. In season three, there is no relationship tension between Lucas, one of the few black characters, and Max’s extremely racist brother Billy. Lucas and Max no longer share any heart-to-heart bonding moments like they did throughout season two. Their relationship is turned into a sit-com adjacent plot device in a matter of minutes.


Another fatal flaw in season three is the almost satirical ‘feminism’ that Max’s new personality displays. She and El become close, specifically bonding over their shared hatred for annoying teenage boys. This would possibly make sense with any other two characters, but given their previous motives, this is senseless. Max had been categorized as a loner who found community within the main friend groud of the show. She enjoyed their company and wanted to spend time with them. She didn’t mind their ‘teen boy’ humor- in fact, she acted the same as they did. Similarly, El saw the main friend group as some of the only real family she had. She was arguably emotionally attached to them to an unhealthy point, which only further skews the season three plot. In season three, both El and Max suddenly want nothing to do with the main friend group who they had previously devoted most of their lives to. On top of all of this, Max and El are continuously objectified throughout this season as simply presenting as ‘nagging girlfriends’, foils to the main male characters.


The ending of season three is one I still cannot fully comprehend myself. The way it is so easily swept under the rug come season four is baffling, but I could care less about season three as a whole. The only important thing to note is that Max’s abusive step-brother Billy is killed by the end of season three. Season four Max is extremely disturbed by this, and her mental health takes a clear nosedive. She is once again portrayed through the more masculine and standoff-ish loner personality which she was presented with in season two. She is clearly affected by Billy’s death, as well as some vague nightmares and visual hallucinations which seem to be plaguing her and other characters throughout this season. Season four redeems a lot of the qualities that were lost in season three. Max and Lucas’ relationship is still messy, but now the reason for that is clear. Max is isolating herself from everyone she cares about because of her mental health struggles and clear depressive episodes. Lucas is devoting most of his freshmen year towards the school’s basketball team and is thus missing out on a lot of important events. As season four progresses, Max and Lucas have more of those familiar heart-to-heart moments that they shared in season two. They continue to bring out the best in each other and support one and other through even the most gut-wrenching parts of the season. 


Most of season four was spent reworking all of the character development that Max had lost in season three. Because of this, a lot of her mannerisms and plot points felt repetitive. Despite being the main focus of season four, it seemed like the plot was happening to and around her, rather than Max herself affecting the plot in any major ways. This is just another disappointing example of Stranger Things’ weak writing post-season two.  While it’s not clear what was causing these notable writing shifts, one can find it easy to assume it had something to do with the wide spread interest in the show and their excessive budget growth.

 
While the end of season four is unclear, is easy to assume Max’s fate. After her unfortunate battle with Vecna, nearly all of her bones are broken and she is left blind and possibly deaf. According to El in the end of the season, Max’s soul is also seemingly absent from her body as well. While I wouldn’t be surprised if season five pulled out some insane plot devise where Max is magically cured, I wouldn’t be happy about it. As much as I love Max’s character and everything about her, I feel that with the trajectory of the show, she has unfortunately served her purpose. With the creators clearly unsure of how to properly wrap up her character arcs, she is instead completely immobilized and reduced to a catatonic state. Not only is this a sad ending, it’s also disappointing. I like to rewatch season two and imagine a world where the creators furthered her character with important plot devices centered around her mental health, her abusive step-family, and her relationship with her mom. I imagine they pursue a queer-focused plot with Max’s character and show how Lucas helps her through the confusing questions she has about her identity and her gender. I imagine her and El forming an actual friendship that passes the bechdel test each time they interact. Unfortunately, I am not the one writing Stranger Things.