I am in my head like should I do this, should I say this? Nah I might get looked at differently or people might think I’m crazy lol. You see that’s how I would normally think. At first, I was trying to stay this sweet and loving girl. I always put people before me; I did everything for others. I always put myself last. I think I care less about myself than I care for others. Ya’ll want to know why I say that. Let me tell y’all. If I even make somebody feel like I don’t care for them, make them get in their feelings, or even feel like I did them wrong in any type of way I’ll beat myself up about it and break down and cry, but now I’m different.
I stop being that girl who carried so much. I’m not that girl who just sits back and lets people run over her anymore. I let a lot of things past growing up. I gave people chance after chance and kept getting hurt and used now I do people how they do me. I go off on people without thinking now, I look at people all types of ways.I stop caring about how I make people feel. I stop helping out with other people’s problems. I never thought I would be like this but after getting run over and playing with a lot in life trust me, you’re going to wanna stop being that loving person as well. You might think to yourself, Why are people like this? Why do people want you to treat them like they are a queen, a king or somebody so special when they are not even giving you that same treatment? People nowadays think they are just the stuff for real.
I just got tired of getting hurt over and over aging. My whole life I tried to be me but it seems like me being me isn’t good enough so i’m bringing out the new and mean me. If people don’t like it they just have to go by their day and find something else to do. I’m not doing anything nice for no one. Unless it’s my family and my real friends, but other than that nope. I low key hope people can see that I’m changing for me and not for others.
That’s it for this blog, hope you had or have a good day, thank you for reading.
pain is a part of healing. i love this blog. its all a process. love ya!
I am glad you are finding yourself without looking to everyone else. I like that you are realizing some people are best left alone and how many people don’t deserve a very very nice version of you. I will say that being nice and kind is great but figuring out who to let have the abundance of your kindness is a big step. I think everyone deserves kindness but people like to abuse that and that is what you have to stand up for.
Congrats on making the step towards taking care of yourself over others.