So, this Tuesday (yesterday most likely as you read this). My basketball team heads to the final four. Semifinals is the game this Tuesday, if we win then we go to the finals on Friday. Being close to something so great can be very nerve-racking. You may taste greatness, or you may fall into failure just before you can touch that beautiful hope. My team is amazing, and I do not doubt our abilities; in fact our biggest hindrance I believe is the tendency to get sloppy because of pressure. The times we seem to make the most mistakes are in difficult situations, and obviously this is a very normal reaction. I haven’t getting much playing time as I haven’t been able to go to practice on school days because of my schedule, which has not helped me in emotional and physical ways. We have had some Sunday practices recently, and I can at least make them.
Another problem is every time I try to move about I start hacking my lungs out. It isn’t COVID, so if you hear me coughing don’t run in terror. I had this same type of thing before earlier in the school year of just coughing up gunk, it wouldn’t go away until 2 full rounds of antibiotics, and the fact it came back makes me a bit worried. I also have had a lot of sinus pressure, assuming that is from the same thing. The sinus pressure is really bad for me because I can do nothing to fix it in my dorm room as I do not have the proper sink, and my sink doesn’t get warm. It causes intensity in my migraine pain and I have tried taking medicine for it and it has little to no effect.
So, my coach is nice enough to not kick me off the team, but no one is going to let someone play when they have no clue what is going on. So I just sit there anxiously on the bench, I do get in if we are winning by a good margin or at the very end sometimes, so at least I get some time touching the floor. I’m not a post player but one of my teammates is 6’4ish, me standing at 5’10, which is very tall for a female I might add, just can’t compete with that. Even though I had more skill she could block peoples shots by just standing there and letting them run into her. I don’t consider her a rival though, she’s actually a really nice friend to have, even if it is a bit weird having to look up at someone.
I have felt so excepted as a member of this team besides me just coming onto it as a Junior and not really going to their school, not to mention I am the only white person on the whole team and staff, I don’t mind this it just makes me stick out a lot. But still, I feel like they are very accepting of me. The whole team just has a much more positive attitude than my one back in Picayune. At Picayune, I was basically the slaughter goat, if something went wrong it was my fault, didn’t matter how, or even if I was in the general place it was happening. Someone threw a pass ten feet over my head? I’d be expected to catch it and if not I would get yelled at. I was the tallest on the team, that doesn’t mean I’m an Olympic high jumper. The coach there let this sour attitude go unpunished, so it continued. They would always find ways to be mean to me or exclude me from things.
Overall, I am just much happier here, so I am really excited, but also nervous.
